The Worst Prisoner: The illusion of separation (Book 2)
by emletish
Summary: Four friends separately make their way to Ba Sing Se, learning wisdom along the way. Will our two lovers, forbidden from one another, find each other again? Will Aang find the courage to be the avatar the world needs? Will Sokka be condemned to more conversations about feelings? A shenanagin filled romp through the Earth Kingdom. Zutara yes, but this is primarily a friendship fic
1. The Avatar state

Book 2

-0-

"I can't believe this is how I die," Zuko complained loudly. "Death from too many love proverbs. I swear, if you tell me one more piece of nonsense about birds loving fish, I am diving into this ocean right now and drowning myself."

"I just thought that one was especially relevant for you. Would you like me to explain it again?"

"No, Uncle. No!" There was actually nothing Zuko wanted to hear less at this exact moment.

"You see, they think their love is impossible because one lives in the sky and the other lives in the water..."

 _Damn it, there's no stopping him,_ Zuko thought as he abruptly stood up and took two long steps towards the edge of the raft. The raft rocked wildly from this sudden movement.

"No, Zuko, don't!" Uncle yelled in dismay.

"Will you stop with the bird-fish marriage story?" Zuko asked, still standing on the edge.

"Okay, I'll stop. I am sorry."

Zuko went to sit back down in the centre of the raft more gently so he didn't jostle the older man.

"I am just a little excited to hear you had a lady friend," Uncle said after a few moments. "You know, if you wanted to tell me anything or if you had any questions about ... err … _intimate relations,_ I have so much advice."

Damn it, walking away from the edge had been a mistake!

"Ocean, just kill me. Please." Zuko held out his hands in supplication towards the sky. Death by ocean would be preferable than these awkward conversations with his Uncle.

"If the ocean chose to spare you in the North, I hardly feel it will oblige you now. You have been very blessed by the spirits."

"This doesn't feel like a blessing, Uncle! We are floating on a raft in the middle of the ocean with vultures flying above us waiting to peck out our livers, and now you keep trying to give me wisdom. This situation is hopeless."

"It is not hopeless, Zuko. You are already the wisest you have ever been. You will learn more wisdom I am sure."

-0-

It was weird between Pakku and Katara on the boat. It was like they were fighting, but not with words. Katara fought with glares and awkward silences and by ignoring him. Pakku kept trying to talk to her and she kept pretending he didn't exist. Aang tried asking Katara what was wrong, but then she got weird with him too. She was distant. She said she couldn't tell him, and he wouldn't understand. Aang insisted he would understand. He was the most understanding person in the world. Katara ignored that. Instead, she smiled and said she wanted to show him some waterbending moves now that she was his teacher. Aang was glad she was smiling again, and their conversation moved on.

But the tension between Pakku and Katara lingered. Then Pakku finally told Aang why he was on the boat in the first place.

"I have realised that I need to change how I treat the women around me," Pakku said sadly. "I was so wedded to my beliefs, so blinded by the ideals I was raised with. I never questioned them until Katara. She made me understand how I was hurting the women around me. So I am going to see the first woman my attitude really hurt."

Pakku told Aang that he was going south to help his long lost love, Katara's Gran Gran. He said ruefully that Kanna might not forgive him either, but he owed it to her to try help her rebuild the Southern Water Tribe.

Aang wanted to fix whatever it was that had caused the tension. Aang didn't like seeing Katara cross. She was never cross, so Pakku must have done something terrible, like kicking a seal pup. Pakku just sighed and said that Katara was making it clear that he still needed to make it up to her.

When they departed for Omashu, Pakku handed Aang some waterbending scrolls. He said he had something for Katara too, but she only frowned at him. Evidently, not even a present was going to make Katara any less cross at him. Pakku said it was actually a gift from Yugoda, and Katara seemed a little brighter. She held out her hand and was given some spirit water to be used for super special healing.

But there was nothing for Sokka.

Sokka was a bit saddened by this. Pakku picked up on his disappointment and awkwardly shook his hand. That struck Aang as a little unfair. Sokka didn't get anything just because he was a non-bender.

"Here. How about you take Momo for the day," Aang offered, holding the lemur out and trying to make it better.

Sokka seemed a little mollified by this, until Momo climbed up on Sokka's shoulder and started chirruping and making sad eyes at him. "I'm not falling for _that face,_ buddy, not like …" Sokka paused and glanced at his sister before turning back to Momo and chiding the lemur. "You'll have to wait until lunch like the rest of us."

-0-

"What were you thinking when the Ocean Spirit looked in your eyes?"

"I was mostly just worried about Aang. I thought it had eaten him," Zuko said, shuffling a little bit behind him.

They were sitting back to back to hold each other up and keep each other warm. Iroh couldn't see his face. That seemed to make it easier for Zuko to talk about these things.

"No. It wouldn't have eaten him," Iroh said, wanting to reassure his nephew. "Rest easy on that. I'm sure the Avatar is fine. They simply would have fused their spiritual essence and the Ocean Spirit would have seized control of …"

"Uncle, I know you are really trying to make me understand this spiritual stuff. I know it floats your boat and the Flower Friends—"

"White Lotus, Zuko. We prefer being called the White Lotus."

"Ah, yes! _The Flower Friends_! That huge, secretive and potentially really helpful international organisation that you are in charge of but kept secret from me for three Agni-damned years while I chased a ghost…"

He was sassing Iroh, but he sounded annoyed too. If they continued down this path, they'd end up in another awkward conversation about the White Lotus. Iroh didn't want to fight with Zuko on this tiny raft, not after they had just found each other again.

"Point taken," Iroh said, and encouraged Zuko to continue what he had been saying before the interruption.

"So I know that you and the Flower Friends are all super into the spirits. But I'm not. I do not get this spiritual mumbo-jumbo and I'm not sure I want to," Zuko said firmly.

"For someone who has had a spiritual encounter, you are very adamant against learning any more about them."

On the _Wani_ , Zuko had never really expressed any strong feelings towards the spirits either way except to occasionally grumble about being cursed by them. Now he'd been given a great blessing and he seemed more determined than ever to turn away from them.

"I know all that I want to, Uncle. Messing with the spirits just seems to invite a whole heap of trouble. I'm just hoping if I leave them alone, they'll leave me alone."

"But they did leave you alone. The Ocean Spirit spared you," Iroh pointed out. "The ocean never does that. Aren't you curious why?"

There was a long silence.

"Yes, but I don't see how knowing why will help with anything," Zuko said eventually.

"I think the ocean is helping us now. We have been moving steadily in the right direction every day. It seems the current is taking us to the neutral area of the Earth Kingdom. There are always fish under our raft when we are hungry. It rains frequently enough that we have fresh water. I think the ocean likes you."

They were making bizarrely good time, considering they were just drifting on the currents. Zuko had been navigating by the stars. They were only a few days off the Earth Kingdom coast.

Zuko had listened to Iroh's theory, but he snorted loudly in disbelief at Iroh's conclusion. "I doubt that. You told me it doesn't like anyone and never differentiates between people."

"I think if you just try telling me what you saw when you looked in its eyes, we might be able to figure it out."

Zuko sighed expansively in resignation. Iroh could feel the enormity of the sigh through his back. Iroh knew Zuko was going to tell him eventually, and had been waiting him out. This had always been the best way of dealing with his nephew, Iroh had found. He always came around eventually. Iroh just had to be patient with him.

"I dunno how to describe it. I saw _everything,_ Uncle. The entire ocean, but everywhere. I think I even saw home, just for a flash. Ember Island. It was beautiful." There was such a longing in Zuko's voice.

Iroh reached up over his shoulder to pat the boy behind him awkwardly. They'd probably never go home again, and they both knew it. Iroh wasn't sure how to make this better for his nephew. They hadn't spoken about it. It was a conversation that both of them had avoided.

"I think it was trying to tell me something," Zuko said, after a long silence, "but I'm not sure what. It was trying to force some wisdom on me, _like someone else on this boat._ But it just made my head hurt."

"Interesting. Did you ever encounter the Ocean Spirit in its mortal form prior to the night of the siege?"

Zuko mumbled something in response, but Iroh couldn't make it out again.

"I'm sorry, Zuko. I did not catch that."

There was further mumbling.

"Could you tell me without mumbling?" Iroh asked gently.

"I saw it nearly every night while I was in the Northern Water Tribe, okay!" Zuko snapped. "It was living in a pond in the garden that Katara and I used to sneak up to for …" His voice abruptly faltered here.

"Yes?" Iroh said maybe a little too eagerly. "Please tell me more about this garden you went to every single night with Katara, your girlfriend."

"Fucking hell. You are worse than Yugoda sometimes, do you know that?"

"I am just curious."

Iroh wasn't trying to pry or be intrusive—really, he wasn't. But he had missed so much. He didn't know much about what had happened to his nephew in the Northern Water Tribe. Zuko was very different from the boy Iroh had met in the forest. He was quieter, more thoughtful and much less explosively angry. He was still angry, but it was more of a simmering anger. There were other changes too, so subtle Iroh couldn't put his finger on it. Iroh hoped that these changes were the result of pleasant experiences for once. He found his heart was gladdened by the thought of good and joyous things happening to his nephew, who had been perpetually beset by misfortune for much of his life.

"I care about you and your happiness," Iroh continued. "Yugoda said you two seemed happy together and I—"

"We broke up, okay! Or I think we did. We had a fight, and _she doesn't want me any more_! The last thing she ever said to me was that she never wanted to see me again."

Iroh felt chastised and was quiet.

"Sorry, Uncle. I didn't mean to shout at you," Zuko apologised after a few moments. "I just ... a lot of bad shit happened to me when you weren't around, and I just don't want to talk about any of it, so can you please just drop it? Can you just let me be angry and depressed on this side of the raft?"

Iroh could do that for him. "Yes. We can sit and mope in silence. Whatever makes you happy."

"Being angry and depressed doesn't make me _happy,_ Uncle!"

"I have an idea. We don't have to talk about anything. But we could sing instead. Music is good for the soul, no matter what you're feeling. It'll pass the time at least. How about the mountain song?" Iroh suggested. Zuko had liked that song.

He waited for a grumpy refusal, but instead his nephew surprised him.

"Okay."

-0-

"You have done a great thing, Avatar Aang, in striking such a decisive blow against the Fire Nation, but we need you to do it one more time," General Fong said. "The Fire Nation has just suffered their greatest naval defeat ever. Their casualties were significant. Almost the entire western fleet was sunk during the Siege of the North Pole. Our spies say the scale of the defeat has made the populace nervous and rowdy."

 _Great. Just great,_ Sokka thought to himself. No sentence heralded more disaster than the phrase "nervous and rowdy firebenders". Sokka looked around for an escape from this conversation. He didn't want this General Fong to strongarm Aang into going into the Avatar State again. Trying to control the Parade of Lies was stressful enough as it was without mega-destructive-cosmic-mojo added to the mix.

Trying to hide the fact that Aang had decimated an entire naval fleet and murdered their friend was giving Sokka an endless series of brain explosions. He felt constantly on edge, like a cliff-dwelling yet uncoordinated llama-goat. Someone was going to let something slip to Aang, and it was only a matter of time.

Sokka had spent most of the morning trying to stop the Earth Kingdom soldiers making Hahn's stupid Fire Nation joke in Aang's presence. Sokka hated that joke, but he heard it everywhere now. _What do you call one firebender at the bottom of the ocean? A good start. What do you call the entire western fleet at the bottom of the ocean_? _Even better._

Frozen hell!

It wasn't even funny!

Sokka was bitterly regretting going along with the Parade of Lies _._ He didn't know how many more tragic deaths he could conceivably conceal from his cheerful, occasionally all-powerful friend. Sokka felt like they were disrespecting Zuko's memory with the Parade of Lies _,_ and that didn't sit well with him.

Now General Fong was just blurting it all out. But, oddly, Aang didn't seem to click about what it all meant. Aang didn't connect the phrase "significant casualties" with his time as a giant, glowing koi-shaped blob of doom. To be honest, Aang didn't seem to remember much from his time as a giant, glowing koi-shaped blob of doom, and for this Sokka was grateful. Sokka breathed a sigh of relief.

"Firelord Ozai is trying to shift all blame for the defeat to the navy and an admiral Zhao in particular, but he has lost face. He is deeply unpopular in the outer islands. Our spies suggest that the Fire Nation only needs to suffer one more decisive defeat to spark an internal struggle," Fong continued, sounding excited.

"What do you mean?" Aang asked.

"Firebenders are naturally very violent people—"

"My friend, Kuzon, wasn't violent!" Aang protested. "My friend, Zuko ... I mean, he could be a little violent, but only to people like Hahn who weren't very nice and kinda deserved it. He was actually very honourable."

Fong blinked twice at Aang's outburst, looking unimpressed. He didn't say "whatever", but Sokka felt sure he was thinking it.

"In Avatar Yang Chens's time, the Fire Nation was engulfed in a terrible civil war," Fong explained, choosing a different tact. "They kept arguing, 'Oh, my island is bigger!'" He put on an accent here that he obviously thought was Fire Nation, then shifted to the right as if to become another person. "'Well, screw you! My island has more coconut trees!'" He dropped the accent. "One of Yang Chen's feats was getting all the islands to make peace and unite under a single ruler. We just have to undo her hard work and get them to start fighting each other again. Then they will leave the rest of the world alone.

"But we must move fast, before Fire Lord Ozai quashes the dissent and achieves another victory. A victory against us now would effectively silence his opposition. Fire Lord Ozai has a stranglehold on what they call the Home Islands, but he is despised outside the capital. If you could control the Avatar State, then crush one of their large coastal bases, the nation would turn inwards. It would end the war without you having to face the Fire Lord," Fong concluded.

It was a sound plan, Sokka had to admit. The biggest drawback was that it would need Aang to master the Avatar State and would result in a lot of dead people. Making dead people something that Aang was generally against (glowing, destructo-koi-blob moment aside). However Aang would also do anything to get out of having to directly fight Zuko's psychopathic dad.

Sokka knew Aang was tempted. Sokka knew Aang probably didn't consider what causing a civil war in the Fire Nation would mean. For starters, it would mean an even more elaborate Parade of Lies for Sokka, and Sokka couldn't be having that! His instincts told him this was a mistake.

"Okay. I'll try," Aang said cheerfully.

 _Frozen hell, here we go!_

No one ever listened to Sokka's instincts, and it always went badly.

-0-

It was their seventh day floating on the raft. After their conversation about the Ocean Spirit, a truce had formed. It was like they had both decided not to bring up sensitive topics to avoid rocking their tiny and barely sea-worthy boat.

Iroh had started swapping stories with Zuko instead of nagging him to talk about things he didn't want to discuss. Zuko, for his part, had stopped asking questions about the White Lotus. Their situation had not improved, but conversation was much easier at least.

"I honestly thought I was going to die," Zuko said, sounding amused.

"It really alarms me how many of your stories start this way. Or end this way. Or feature this sentence more," Iroh couldn't help but interrupt.

"Sorry, Uncle. I honestly thought I was going to be _very sick_ the next day, but I was so hungry from blood loss and recovering from ... just regular, ordinary, not at all nearly fatal injuries … so I ate it. But I was the only one. Katara flat out refused to eat it. Even Aang barely touched it, and he only had to eat the vegetables."

"It can't have been that bad. I have heard interesting things about Water Tribe cuisine."

"This wasn't Water Tribe cuisine. This was _dinner Sokka-style._ " Zuko put on a voice that seemed like it was meant to be an impression of the Water Tribe youth. "I don't know how he did it, but the fish was both too soggy and burned at the same time." His voice grew more affectionate. "Fucking Sokka. He's such a genius, but he can't do any of those basic life skills like boil water and make some rice for himself." His smile was very fond.

"Do you miss him?" Iroh asked gently.

"You think I would miss someone making sarcastic remarks and terrible jokes all day? Do you think I want to hang around with some jerk who's always squabbling with me and flopping around like a giant octopus while secretly planning to attack people with pineapples?"

"Yes," Iroh said. That much was obvious.

"Fine, maybe I do. But his cooking was still dreadful. I don't miss that." There was a moment of silence. "What was the worst thing you ever ate, Uncle?"

"Well, when I was a younger man on campaign in the Earth Kingdom..."

-0-

Aang knew Katara and Sokka didn't like him trying to go into the Avatar State with Fong. Katara had refused to even watch him and had hated the idea from the start. She got _very_ angry about it. Aang avoided her until she calmed down. He waited a few hours until she was sitting on the wall of the base, looking out gloomily at the sunset, then tried talking to her.

Katara declared she wasn't going to watch him try at all, because she hated seeing him in pain and rage. She couldn't bear to see him in the Avatar State again, not after what nearly happened. Aang asked her what she meant by that. What had nearly happened?

Katara said nothing for a long moment. "It's horrible, nearly losing someone you care about because of the Avatar State."

Aang felt his heart gladden. She was talking about him! She didn't want to lose him to the pain and rage of the Avatar State.

Maybe she liked him back the same way he liked her!

Sokka had said that his instincts told him that it was better for Aang to learn the elements and master control the old-fashioned way rather than _unleashing the beast_ now.

"You shouldn't be playing around with this," Sokka had chided, even though he still came along with Aang. "Don't use the Avatar State if you don't know how to control it."

That was Aang's point!

Fong seemed so sure he could help Aang control it, and Aang hoped that was true. He wouldn't have to be afraid of the Avatar State if someone could show him how to control it. He just needed some instructions.

After two whole days of nonsense, Aang only felt frustrated and a little sticky from the paste they'd rubbed on him. He fell into an exhausted sleep.

-0-

 _He was surrounded by glowing blue. He was the entire raging ocean. His arms were strong enough to crush the metal hulls of the ships like they were toys. They sank, bubbles streaming out of the holes Aang's huge, glowing arms had torn in them. There was screaming. There were so many people in the water, but Aang pushed them down into the deep._

 _It was horrible and scary and so cold. Aang wanted it to stop._

 _But he couldn't stop._

 _The ocean was angry. The ocean was looking for one firebender in particular, but it drowned everyone it came across anyway. No special treatment. They would all suffer the same fate._

 _Aang was trying to escape the belly of the beast, but he couldn't move. He was surrounded by spirit energy, and the spirit said no – this had to happen. The ocean wouldn't let him go. It wasn't finished yet._

" _Aang, wake up!" he heard from below him._

 _Zuko._

 _Zuko was on a bridge and shouting up at Aang. He sounded so worried._

" _Aang, can you hear me? Wake the fuck up!"_

 _Aang wanted to tell him to run._

 _Didn't Zuko know? The Ocean Spirit wasn't finished yet._

-0-

"Wake up, Aang." Katara's voice came from above him. He'd been thrashing and yelling in his sleep and she'd shaken him awake. "You're fine. You're safe. It was just a nightmare." She soothingly rubbed his head.

"No, it wasn't," Aang said, dread settling in his belly.

He knew what dreams like that meant. They were just part of the "fun" that was being the Avatar. There was a lesson in them or something he needed to know. Aang opened his eyes and looked at Katara in the low light. She was leaning over him, her brow furrowed in concern. He doubted Katara for the first time. He knew she sometimes lied to him and hid things from him because she thought that was protecting him. Katara had told him what had happened in the North Pole, but Aang was wondering if that had been the truth.

"Katara, what really happened to Zuko?"

-0-

Zuko could have kissed the sand in relief when they finally reached the Earth Kingdom shore. For eight days they had been drifting aimlessly while his uncle wanted to talk about spirits and said shit like, "The ocean likes you."

The ocean didn't like anyone. It was the ocean.

Zuko had briefly entertained the idea of benevolent spirits, but he knew now he had been wrong. The spirits just liked to fuck with people, especially him.

Yes, they had made much better time than Zuko would have expected, but Zuko wasn't one of life's optimistic people. He'd been half expecting that they were going to drown horribly at sea or starve to death, so arriving at all was already much better than he expected.

They had fortuitously landed near a spa resort. Uncle made a comment about how kind it was of the ocean to deliver them to such a place, knowing they would need to relax after their ordeal. Zuko rolled his eyes extremely dramatically and expressed no desire to relax. Relaxation was still going to happen anyway, but Zuko though he should offer at least a petulant token protest so it felt like old times.

Uncle had been making lots of concerned faces in his direction and giving him lots of side-eye. Zuko was trying to act like his old self to stop the old man worrying. It was hard, though. His heart just wasn't in it. Zuko didn't feel like he'd ever be his old self again.

All the rage he'd had on the _Wani_ had subsided, but it hadn't been replaced by any other feeling. Zuko just felt empty and sad.

Before Zuko knew it, he was in a hot spring with his uncle and eating some spicy snacks. They went back to the springs the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. Zuko liked just watching cherry blossoms fall and feeling the water and the heat of the volcanic spring. His element and Katara's working together.

Katara had never seen cherry blossom season. Or even a cherry tree. They didn't grow around the poles. When she'd told him that, Zuko had day-dreamed about showing her one day. He'd take her to Cherry Island as a surprise. It was a beautiful place. She'd like it there. He smiled at the thought of watching her delighted face as the petals fell around them like pink snow.

That had always been impossible though. He could never take Katara anywhere in the Fire Nation. And now she never wanted to see him again anyway. He dumped ashes all over that wistful notion, turned away from the sight of the petals falling, and started scowling at the water.

"Something wrong, Nephew?" Uncle asked gently.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"If the hot spring is not to your liking, we could get massages again."

"No, thank you."

Zuko liked the feeling of the hot water relaxing all of his muscles. After so long in the freezing cold, it was nice to feel properly warm again.

"Is it because today is the anniversary?" Uncle said a bit hesitantly.

"Anniversary?"

"It has been three years today since you were banished …"

Zuko had left the Fire Nation during cherry blossom season. Cherry Island had been his last glimpses of home.

"I'm never going home again, am I?" Zuko murmured.

It wasn't a question, though. He already knew the answer.

His father never wanted to see him again. It wouldn't have mattered if Zuko had caught one Avatar or a thousand Avatars, his father was still going to think he was worthless. His task had always been impossible, and he knew now that there had been _a reason_ for that. Uncle looked alarmed at his defeated tone.

"Don't say that, Zuko! You must still have hope."

 _Why?_

What good did hope do anyone?

When you hoped for things, it only made disappointment cut deeper. Uncle had known Zuko's task was foolish and impossible from the beginning, but he had stuck by Zuko's side and encouraged him because he thought hope was important.

It would have been kinder for the old man to sit him down and explain that Zuko was a terrible, miserable, worthless failure whose father hated him. Then Zuko wouldn't have wasted three years fruitlessly searching and trying. Uncle wanted Zuko to believe there was hope, but hope was just one of the many lies in the _Sea of Deception_ his uncle had been spinning him.

"There's no hope, Uncle," Zuko snapped. "I was a child when you thought I needed hope, but I'm too old to think that if I complete an impossible task my psychotic father will love me."

His father was a fucking psychopath. Sokka had gotten that right.

"I'm sure the Fire lord..." Uncle started to say. He was probably going to say some bullshit about his father caring for Zuko, really, just very deep down.

"I read his reply to Arnook. He thinks I'm weak and worthless. He wanted them to KILL ME! He _hates_ me, Uncle!"

Uncle's eyes were wide and shocked. Zuko hadn't told him about reading the letter. There was no lie the old man could say that would make the horrible reality any less true. Father didn't want him home. Father wanted him dead.

"Why does he hate me so much?" Zuko asked, cursing the way his voice broke when he spoke. "What did I do wrong?"

Zuko didn't understand. His whole life he had done nothing but try to please his father. He'd done everything ever asked of him, and still Ozai denied him any scrap of affection. Uncle loved Lu Ten. Arnook loved Yue. Hakoda loved Sokka and Katara. Monk Gyatso loved Aang. Apparently, Hahn's father had loved even him, and that kid was such a dickhead. Why was Zuko the unlovable exception?

Uncle pulled him into a strong hug then and held him close. "You did nothing wrong, my boy." His voice sounded thick with an emotion Zuko couldn't pinpoint.

Zuko nodded, unable to speak, and feeling the traitorous prick in the back of his eyes and a sour lemon in the back of his throat. He knew Uncle loved him, even though Iroh had lied to him. Zuko was trying his best to let that go and not be angry at his uncle. He didn't have anyone else.

Uncle gave him a huge squeeze and held him at arm's length. "If we cannot go home to the Fire Nation together, then I propose we make a new home for ourselves here." He said it like it was a fun, jovial suggestion instead of their only option. "What do you say to finding a nice, safe place to settle down while we make a new plan?"

Zuko didn't think any nice, safe places existed any more, but it wouldn't help to point that out.

He remembered Aang's words from so long ago, when they'd been locked in together.

" _The people you choose to travel with are your home. You can be anywhere in the world and still feel at home if they are around."_

The Fire Nation was lost to him, but he could still make a home with Uncle. His uncle was choosing to stick with him despite everything. Uncle could have had a very nice life as a retired general back in the Fire Nation, but he'd come with Zuko, even when all hope was lost.

"Okay," Zuko agreed. He still felt empty, but it was a lighter sort of empty.

It felt like he had let go of something huge, horrible and heavy. His heart still ached, but he didn't feel the weight of his father's expectations or his own guilt and shame pressing down on him anymore. That had weighed on him for three years. It was a relief to put it aside. Zuko didn't have to follow the path that Ozai had set out for him.

Uncle looked at him with something like delighted surprise on his face. Zuko tried to smile back weakly.

"I think we should celebrate," Uncle said with a huge smile. "This will be the start of a new life for us. Wait here. I'll go get us some sake."

Zuko did as he was told. He'd let Uncle take the lead now. Zuko's path had twisted and turned so much lately that he had lost all sense of direction. Uncle seemed to have an idea of where they should be heading and what they should be doing. That was enough for Zuko.

-0-

Aang had woken them all up with his screaming, but Katara had gotten there first to shake him. Sokka half hoped she'd be able to soothe Aang back to sleep and Sokka would also be allowed to return to his blissful slumber. But then Aang asked her what had really happened to Zuko, and she made a gasping noise and recoiled like the airbender had slapped her across the face. Sokka groaned inwardly. He'd always known the Parade of Lies would implode, but he had hoped it would have waited until the morning to do so.

Sokka said they should talk about it in the kitchens. If he had to get up, he was having some snacks! Perhaps snacks would take the edge off what he was sure was going to be an awkward conversation.

Aang told them about his dream. It sounded like Aang was remembering the Avatar State, Sokka realised with horror. No amount of bullshit would protect him from that. Katara, who had been quite good at the bullshit back in the Northern Water Tribe, was just sitting there and clutching the knife that Yugoda had given her with her knuckles and her face going pale.

Damnit! She was going to be _no help_ on the bullshit front tonight.

Sokka eyed the knife warily. Yugoda had given it to her and told her it was from Zuko, but the old woman had also inferred Katara would never be able to find him again.

Yugoda was very useful on the bullshit front.

Katara had clung to the knife like a talisman. It had given her hope and taken that empty, forlorn look out of her eyes. That was precisely why Yugoda had given it to her, Sokka reckoned. Yugoda did to Katara what Katara was trying to do to Aang. Yugoda was just better at it because she was old and wily and used props to support her lies.

Sokka hadn't had the heart to ruin it for his sister, but he had also rummaged through Zuko's bag thoroughly. Zuko had hated it. " _Stop going through my stuff, you Agni-damned klepto!"_ he'd always said every time Sokka "borrowed" something else from him.

Sokka had never seen that knife before. It said _Made in Earth Kingdom._ It obviously didn't belong to Zuko, no matter what Katara said. She was just lying to herself at this point.

"When you told me Zuko got away, was that the truth?" Aang asked her directly now, and Katara said yes. She spun the same story that Yugoda had told her.

"Do you think that's what happened, Sokka?" Aang asked, rounding on him directly.

Sokka felt very put on the spot. He should end the bullshit now. This war had taken people from him. His mother had been murdered when he was only a kid. Yue was gone. Zuko was gone. They'd both been sixteen when they had died. They had been his age and now they'd never get any older. Sokka was trying his best not to think about them, but he still felt their absence. He felt like he had let them both down.

He looked at Aang's innocent face. Katara, too, was looking at him, pleading with her eyes. He had to take care of these two hopeful idiots.

What good would it do to crush both their hopes so thoroughly? What point would it serve? Zuko wasn't coming back either way, but it made Katara seem more alive when she thought he was alive too, even if she'd never find him again. Sokka understood perfectly why Yugoda had done what she did, and he understood why Katara had spun the Parade of Lies. Sokka didn't want to lie, but he didn't want to tell the truth either.

"I don't know what happened," Sokka said eventually, which was a terrible, cowardly non-answer, but it was the best Sokka had.

Aang looked down in disappointment. Katara was cross. She got up abruptly and gave him a huge shove, called him some names and declared she was going back to bed.

"You said in the forest that she sugar-coats things for me," Aang stated as Katara left.

Sokka nodded.

"Is she sugar-coating this?" Aang asked quietly.

"I know she really believes Zuko got away," Sokka replied firmly. That much at least was true.

Aang absorbed this. He was quiet for a long time, looking at his hands. "I need to know what really happened." His voice sounded so small, guilty and hopeless, and Sokka couldn't bear it. Even Sokka backed down to flat-out lies.

"Zuko's pretty tough. If anyone could have made it out of there, it's him," Sokka offered.

Aang nodded and put his arms around his knees, looking forlorn. "I think you were right, Sokka. It's a mistake to try and cheat the Avatar State. It's too powerful. I'll do it the old fashioned way. We can leave for Omashu tomorrow. I'll tell Fong in the morning."

"Whatever you think is best," Sokka said, feeling vindicated and relieved. He hadn't liked Aang playing around with destructo-koi-monster-friend-killing energy.

-0-

Iroh made sure Azula had definitely gone back to her ship before he returned to the springs. He would not lead her to Zuko, especially not in his current mood. Zuko seemed defeated. It was so unlike him. Zuko always had so much fight in him. A little too much fight most of the time.

His nephew looked up at his return and grumbled that Iroh had been gone for ages and hadn't even returned with any drinks. Then he saw Iroh's face.

"What's wrong, Uncle?" Zuko asked, sitting up abruptly.

Iroh explained that he had found Azula waiting in their cabin. He was billing their stay here to his estate in the Fire Nation and that had been how she found them. Iroh relayed their conversation and his own polite refusal. He waited while Zuko absorbed what he had said.

"She thinks I'm dead?" was Zuko's first question, his expression perturbed.

"Yes. It is assumed you died in the Siege of the North or you got eaten by cannibals near Pohuai."

Zuko made an aghast face and muttered darkly about everyone thinking he got eaten.

"This can be a good thing," Iroh said.

"How can everyone thinking I'm dead by being _eaten_ be a good thing?"

"It means no one is looking for you."

Zuko nodded in understanding.

Iroh wanted to talk strategy with him. Their situation just got a lot more difficult if Azula had an interest in Iroh returning home. If Zuko was going to learn to navigate the difficult path ahead of him, he would need to learn to strategize and not react instantaneously. Iroh was not a famed general for nothing. He had earned that role through his tactical genius. He would try imparting as much as he could to his belligerent nephew now that Zuko was finally in a place where he would be willing to listen.

"We need to think," Iroh said. "What motivates Azula?"

"Spite."

Iroh suppressed a smile. It was no doubt true, but there would have been other motivations at play. He encouraged his nephew to think what she would get out of Iroh returning home. She had been working her damnedest to convince him, after all.

"Well, no offence, Uncle, but she doesn't want you home to have tea parties."

"She is acting for Ozai. She mentioned unrest at home. What would Ozai gain from me being back in the Fire Nation if there is rebellion?" Iroh asked, gently steering the conversation.

Zuko looked towards the falling blossoms for a moment, lost in thought. "The defeat in the Northern Water Tribe would go bad for him. We've never been defeated at sea ... not like _that._ Defeats aren't popular." Zuko paused and looked at Iroh, concern on his face.

They were both thinking about Ba Sing Se. Iroh realised that Zuko was worried that just obliquely mentioning it had upset Iroh. He was looking for his uncle's reaction. Iroh nodded encouragingly at him. Zuko was on the right track.

"I remember there were rumours," Zuko said quietly. "After Ba Sing Se. Lots of people wanted you to be Fire Lord instead."

It wasn't an accusation, but there was something unsettling in his voice. How different would Zuko's life be if Iroh had become the Fire Lord instead of Ozai? Iroh wondered how much Zuko remembered from that frantic time. He would have just been a child. Surely his mother would have protected him from the political machinations of ... oh dear. It was around that time that she disappeared, wasn't it? The defeat at Ba Sing Se had upended both their lives, hadn't it?

"Yes," Iroh said in answer to Zuko's unspoken question of why he hadn't contested. "I chose to stand aside for Ozai because I did not wish to engulf our country in a civil war, but my support is still strong."

The throne would have been rightfully his, but Iroh knew his history. He knew of the terrible war in Yang Chen's time. He would not wish that on his homeland again.

"Then Ozai needs to show that he is stronger than you," Zuko said, deliberately referring to the Fire Lord by his first name. (He didn't even say "my father" or use his title.) It was petty, childish and churlish and Iroh loved him for it. "The defeat has made him look weak. He can't have anyone saying, 'This would have never happened under Fire Lord Iroh.'"

"Exactly. And how do you think he would display strength if I were to return home?"

"He needs to shift the blame, and you were there on Zhao's boat. He could say the defeat was your fault. He'd need to denounce you as incompetent or as a traitor and then ... put you in jail?" Zuko said hesitantly.

"Clever boy."

Zuko looked down and smiled shyly.

It had only taken a little prompting on his part for Zuko to come to the most likely scenario. There was hope for his hot-headed nephew yet.

"How should we respond?" Iroh asked.

"Azula says she's coming back to visit you tomorrow morning, so we should get the hell out of here before then."

"Agreed."

-0-

Aang had lost control completely. Fong had tried to drown Katara just to prompt the Avatar State. Bastard. Sokka was kinda glad his base was getting wrecked. Even Katara being unearthed hadn't helped Aang out of the Avatar State this time.

While all the earthbenders were legging it out of the danger zone, Sokka stayed even though the giant ring things were flying everywhere. Someone had to try bringing Aang back to earth, and Sokka was unfortunately well-positioned to be that someone. How to do it? Abruptly, Sokka remembered a whispered conversation in the Spirit Oasis.

" _The Avatar State is when he is closest to the spirits. The spirits can help guide him. If the spirits will it, everything will be fine."_

" _Well, I'm sure that will make Aang feel all better when he loses control and accidentally kills us all with his powers. Just tell him it was the will of the spirits."_

Sokka missed those two.

He felt like they were guiding him now, even if one of them had been very sarcastic.

Aang was the bridge to the Spirit World and the spirits guided him in the Avatar State, but those spirity-bastards weren't the boss of him, not if Aang didn't let them be.

Sokka grabbed Aang's foot and started pulling him down. Aang turned his raging Avatar eyes on him, and it was scary as all frozen hell, but Sokka held his ground. He told himself that glowing eyes and swirling tornado of death aside, this was still Aang, his friend.

Sokka started trying to remind Aang of who he was—who he really was. Aang wasn't this destructo-tornado. Maybe the spirits wanted him to wreck the base, but Sokka knew Aang didn't want to hurt anyone. The glowing of Aang's eyes stuttered for a second.

Then Katara was there with him, and she had a hold of Aang's other foot. She was telling the younger boy that he was safe and loved, and they weren't leaving him. Between then two of them, they managed to calm Aang down until his tattoos stopped glowing. He was now slumped against Katara, looking wan and exhausted while Sokka steered Appa away.

"I did it again," Aang said softly as he stared back at the ruined base.

-0-

Zuko had gone looking for whatever food he could forage from the forest and had left his uncle back at the camp site making tea. He was just rounding a corner when he abruptly ran into Ty Lee. Or, more accurately, Ty Lee careened into him.

"Zuko?" her ridiculously cheerful voice called out, and before he'd even had a chance to turn around properly, she'd launched herself at him.

She'd always been an overly enthusiastic hugger. She was a lot like Aang in that way. Zuko patted her once on the shoulder awkwardly and tried to extricate himself from her squidshark-like grasp as she babbled, "Oh my god, you're alive. We all thought you'd been eaten in some horrible, cannibalistic Water Tribe feast."

That pulled Zuko up abruptly and he jerked out of her arms. "No! Agni-damnit, Ty Lee, why does everybody think I got eaten?"

"Well, when we heard that you were taken prisoner by the Water Tribes, we feared the worst. We all know what they do to their prisoners," Ty Lee replied, sounding like she actually had been worried.

"Well, I clearly haven't been eaten. Nobody even came close to eating me. The Water Tribe doesn't eat people."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. They're not cannibals. Everything we were taught about them was _lies_!"

"Okay, Mr Grumpy," she said brightly.

"What are you doing here?" Zuko asked, still trying to get over his shock at seeing her. "I thought you had joined a circus."

They really should have been talking about what she was doing here from the very beginning, but Zuko had gotten side-tracked over the cannibalism thing. He really hated that everyone in the Fire Nation was going to assume that Sokka and Katara were cannibals. Also, being eaten was such an undignified way to go. He wasn't going to die by being eaten.

Ty Lee had written to him sporadically when he had been at sea. Those three letters had been the only correspondence from home he'd gotten on the _Wani_. Two letters had been for his birthday. They'd both been about four months late, but it was still the thought that counted. The last one had been to tell him that she was leaving the capital because she was, quite literally, running away to join the circus. She seemed happy. Even though she hadn't said as much, Zuko read between the lines and realised she had probably joined because it would get her away from Azula.

"Azula made me an offer I couldn't refuse," Ty Lee replied to his question, her smile definitely faltering for a fraction of a second.

Zuko had already figured as much. Azula, who had always been able to manipulate Ty Lee and who was currently after his uncle, would be in the area. Zuko joined the dots pretty quickly and started glancing around for his escape route.

There was movement just beyond the tree-line. He heard his sister's shrill and demanding voice. It made his stomach drop in apprehension, but he couldn't afford to be distracted. Azula's voice had caught Ty Lee's attention and she looked towards the sound anxiously.

Zuko took his chance and disappeared. He needed to get to his uncle before his sister did. He needed to think up a way out of this. There had to be some crazy solution to the problem of being tracked by Azula. A solution _so weird_ that Azula would never see it coming.

What would Sokka do?

-0-

"Ty Lee! Head up the western rise," Azula ordered from her mongoose lizard, Sunflower. "I have spotted the old windbag's location. We can corner him together."

"Azula, I saw—"

"Whatever interesting cloud shape it is can wait," the princess said firmly. "We have our quarry in our sights."

The princess bounded off and Ty Lee breathed a sigh of relief. She was still getting used to being around Azula all the time again. Azula had "invited" Ty Lee along to help protect her. After all the trouble the Fire Nation had been having recently in the Earth Kingdom, her father had insisted that Azula travel with protection. Azula had chosen Ty Lee. It was meant to be a great honour. Ty Lee hoped they'd see Mai again soon. Mai was so good at hiding her emotions. Ty Lee needed to get better at that. Azula had promised that they would see the other girl after they picked up her uncle.

Ty Lee glanced around for Zuko, but he'd vanished. She couldn't believe she'd actually seen him. Everyone thought he was dead. But he'd survived and gotten a lot cuter. She finally got why Mai had always been blushing around him.

She'd have to tell Azula. They'd probably have to take Zuko back home too now. But that would have to wait until after they had caught Azula's uncle. Azula had given her an order and Ty Lee was smart enough to obey immediately. Ty Lee was her only back-up, as Azula wanted to be able to sneak up on her uncle and a large party would have given them away.

Ty Lee came down the western side of the hill and saw Azula standing in front of her uncle. They were both in bending poses. That was bad. General Iroh was meant to be one of the best firebenders alive, better than Azula even (though Azula would thank no one for pointing this out). Ty Lee couldn't let it come to that. Any harm to the princess would be taken out on her.

General Iroh's back was to her and Ty Lee moved silently. Four quick jabs were all it took. The general made a strange noise as he dropped to the ground and looked up at her with shocked, dismayed eyes. Ty Lee looked back at him apologetically. He'd been a funny and kind old man. She hoped that neutralising him as a threat would prevent Azula from hurting him too much. Azula smiled at her and beckoned her over. Ty Lee went to go stand near her friend.

"Well done, Ty Lee," Azula said, giving Ty Lee some rare praise.

Perhaps it was the praise that distracted her.

Or perhaps it was Zuko suddenly dropping to the ground behind them and saying, "Hey, Azula, is that our dad wearing a sequinned tutu over there?"

Ty Lee _looked_. Of course she did. Who wouldn't? Even Azula _looked,_ though she denied this fiercely after the fact. Azula preferred to blame Ty Lee completely for what happened next.

"Zuzu?" the princess exclaimed, turning around in great astonishment. She stared at him like he was a ghost. Her brother's sudden appearance had clearly thrown her.

Zuko used their distraction against them and deftly clicked something metal around their wrists. It was the clicking sound that brought Azula up. She looked down at the cuffs. They were the imperial steel ones she'd had specially made for General Iroh. They were resistant to all firebending. One side was around Ty Lee's wrist and the other was around Azula's. They were joined together, but facing in opposite directions.

Uh oh.

Azula looked back up at Zuko, then back down to the cuffs, then back to her brother. She then made the most enraged face Ty Lee had ever seen. It was only for a second, but it still scared Ty Lee.

"How wonderful to see you, brother," Azula said, recovering her composure quickly. "I'm so glad you're alive. We all thought you had gotten eaten," she added with a smile, but it was the sort of smile that was kind of insincere. It was the smile that said Azula had _much preferred_ thinking her brother had become someone's marinated, casserole dinner.

"Fucking hell! I wasn't eaten!"

 _Jeez,_ he was so touchy about everyone thinking he got eaten.

"Such language, Zuzu," Azula chided with false dismay. "Have you become so uncivilised so quickly? What would our mother think?"

"Don't talk about Mum!" Zuko yelled back at her.

 _Yikes._ This was the first time they had seen each other in three years, and this was how it was going down. It was typical, but still. If Ty Lee hadn't been handcuffed to Azula, she would have tactfully made her exit about now.

A groaning noise came from the old general, and Zuko quickly darted around them to check on his uncle. "What did you do to him?" he said, looking at Ty Lee with accusing eyes.

"It's just chi-blocking," she answered. "It'll wear off in twenty minutes."

"Enough pleasantries," Azula cut in, sounding calm yet firm. "Zuko, Uncle is fine. We're going to take him back to the Fire Nation so he can be safe. There are enemies all around us here. You can come with us. Father sincerely regrets your banishment. As soon as I tell him you're alive, I am sure he will want you home. Just hand me the key and we can all be on our way," she practically crooned, holding her hand out to her brother.

Zuko looked between the general and his sister.

"Hand me the key, Zuzu," Azula said sharply after a moment, a twinge of impatience in her tone.

"This key?" Zuko held his hand out just a little out of Azula's reach. The silver key glinted in the sunlight.

"Yes. I knew you'd do the smart thing, brother," Azula said, reaching for it.

Zuko closed his fist and swiftly pulled the key out of her reach again. "I wonder if I'm still a faster runner than you."

"Zuzu, don't be foolish..."

But he didn't let her finish. He darted away through the trees. Azula stared at his retreating back with a comically offended look on her face. No one ever walked away from her while she was still speaking, so this was a rare experience for her. She seemed at a loss for how to react to this rudeness.

To add further insult to the injury of being cut off mid-sentence, Zuko had brought up the fact that he was a faster runner. Zuko had been better than Azula at very few things, but running had been one of them. It clearly infuriated Azula to be reminded of it. She wanted to be better than her brother at _everything._ She lurched after Zuko, dragging Ty Lee with her, but he was much quicker. Soon, they couldn't see a trace of Zuko ahead of them or hear him in the underbrush. They listened for a few moments. Azula made a thoughtful face.

"He's doubled back to get Uncle!" she declared suddenly.

She turned to run in the opposite direction, dragging Ty Lee along again. When they had gotten back to the campsite, they found Zuko had somehow manhandled his uncle onto the back of their mongoose lizard and was getting ready to ride away.

"Azula, I should probably tell you now that I threw the key in the river behind those trees," Zuko said. "Sorry, it's going to be tricky to find. You'll want to start looking for it right away."

"It really is such a shame you did something that stupid, brother," Azula said in the same mild tone that other people used to comment on the weather. "There will be consequences now when I get you home. Father will be displeased. He may have to disembowel you with a spoon and wave your head on a stick on front of our weeping uncle."

Zuko looked a little taken aback. Ty Lee knew he'd become used to Azula verbalising her murder fantasies for him when they were kids, but that one was super violent, even for her. The General was clearly unused to these kinds of remarks from Azula. He made a horrified face.

"Goodness gracious!" he said in dismay.

"Sorry, Ty Lee." Zuko threw over his shoulder with an apologetic glance her way. He actually sounded sorry that time. He clicked his tongue and Sunflower started running.

Zuko and his uncle bounded off on Sunflower, leaving Ty Lee in a predicament. She was handcuffed to Azula in the middle of a forest clearing a long hike away from their ship. They no longer had a mongoose lizard and the key to their handcuffs was in the nearby river. She very clearly understood why Zuko had said sorry.

The rest of her day was not going to be fun.

-0-

Lovely readers,

Super-mega, massive and incredible thanks to the gorgeous Boogum for being the best beta buddy in the world and agreeing to beta this behemoth.

Welcome to Worst Prisoner: Book 2 – the re-prisoning! Sorry, terrible joke. Anyway I decided to call this one ' _The illusion of separation'_ after what swamp guy Huu said. The gaang start out as separate, but this is an illusion. Their stories will intertwine, even if they don't meet for a little bit. The things they learned from each other in book 1, they'll be able to put into action and use here.

So Zuko and the ocean. The ocean spirit gave Zuko some wisdom that he wasn't ready to receive, so it's still there sloshing around his brain. But he'll figure it out one of these days (wink, wink). Right now he's going to be dreaming of the ocean, as that is the subconsciousness's way of ordering information.

Katara gets associated with the moon a lot, and I wanted to complete the metaphor and align Zuko with the ocean. It's the masculine energy of the Tui and La dynamic. They ocean suits Zuko. The guy is such a strong swimmer and that indicates years of splashing about in the sea. He spent three formative teenage years staring out at the ocean. He comes from a nation that would actually be heavily reliant on the ocean.

The Fire Nation as an island archipelago and naval power actually would have been immensely reliant on the ocean for everything. I'm a bit surprised La is not at least a little revered there. Maybe in the olden days there were ocean spirit shrines, but Sozin would has smashed them because FIRE IS SUPERIOR -rah rah rah.

So the Fire Nation is a huge naval power. Their navy and their command of the seas is what has made their conquests possible. The navy had just had a massive defeat. The entire western fleet. That would be at least 1/3 of their capabilities. People would notice that! That would make people nervous. Ozai would try and blame shift to Zhao, now that he is dead. But Zhao was such an arse kissing lickspittle, that he never would have done this without Ozai's okay – and everyone knows it. The invade the North plan may as well have been Ozai's and he has lost face.

The Fire Nation is on a bit of a losing streak atm. Their last two really big campaigns, to claim new more heavily fortified targets, rather than just picking off coastal villages (Ba Sing Se, Seige of the North) have both ended in crushing defeats and enormous causalities. I think 'enthusiasm' for the war would be hitting a very low point, especially because Ozai is not known as a good military strategist. But it's a dictatorship and he's a psychopath and everyone remembers what he did to the last person to tell him no - his thirteen year old son, no less!

So the war rumbles on. But Fong is spot on the money in that a bit of a tinderbox is brewing. People are unhappy with the way things are going.

Zuko and Iroh. - I love these two together, I really do. They have such a lovely, layered relationship in the show. Zuko is a snappy, sullen teenager and Iroh is the eternally patient wise figure. A few secrets have been exposed and we are going to explore how that would impact on their relationship. They love each other, but they are only just starting to really see each other. We all know that Zuko wasn't always appreciative of his Uncle, but I always wondered how much Iroh 'saw' Zuko. His expectations, his guilt over not protecting that boy from the agni kai, white lotus/world saving duties, the shadow of lu ten – all of it plays a role in Iroh interacts with his nephew.

He would have gotten back this kid who is so different from the boy who slipped out of the ship at Pouhai and just been thinking to himself 'Who is this person?'

Iroh tries to figure it out by prying into what went on when they were separated, but naturally Zuko is very resistant. Also Zuko is SAD. SAD in capital letters. Sad and with no hope of things ever getting better. He has now officially lost everything, with no impossible quest to fulfil to get it back. He's lost the love of his teenage life, his friends, his dreams – gah, just everything. So Iroh worries. Zuko picks up on the fact that his Uncle is super worried about him, and he tries to 'act like his old self' – but he has changed to much at this point to ever be that boy again.

Zuko finally tells Iroh that he knows his dad hates him. Iroh's been subtly working this kid towards that understanding for years, and this is the culmination of that goal, but still what a gut-punch when it finally happens. Then Azula shows up, cause that's exactly what this kid needed in his day.

I like the idea of Iroh really patiently and deliberately starting to teach Zuko about strategy now that Zuko is in a place to really hear his Uncle and respond. I like that he puts Zuko on the right track and lets him puzzle it out himself. I also think Zuko really needed to learn how to just take a moment and assess the situation rather than instantaneously reacting.

There's a little moment where Aang notices that Sokka gets treated differently and unfairly because he's a non-bender. It's only brief, but I think it's important that Aang starts noticing these things. You go Aang! So Aang also realises that everything is not as it seems with Katara's version of events. But Sokka won't clarify either way, and Aang would trust Sokka a little bit more at this point. The uncertainty is going to eat Aang up, and you bet that kid is going to be working his arse off to uncover his avatar memories of what really happened, even though it's going to be really hard and he's going to see some unpleasant truths.

I'm not sure if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but I think when push comes to shove – Sokka was the real leader of the Gaang. He's goal-orientated, comes up with all their plans, strategies, schedules and gets them to where they needed to be (the desert notwithstanding). Zuko often gets put in the team dad camp, and that is true. He is the emotional dad. But Sokka's the leader.

While Zuko will be his ride-or-die co-pilot and go along with whatever scheme Sokka cooks up, I can't see Sokka always doing that for him (mostly because some of Zuko's ideas are going to suffer from being crap). Then I can see Sokka putting on his responsible hat, being all 'so ride-or-die is great and all, but how about we...not die. I have a better plan.' Anyway I think Zuko would always defer to Sokka, but not vice-versa. But they wouldn't be competing for leadership points, if that makes sense.

Royaltealovingkookiness at tumblr says:

And I love how this dynamic carries over once they return back to the group. Despite being the two oldest males, we never once see them competing for leadership - they take turns in leading (Sokka with devising the group strategy to take down Ozai, Zuko in the search for Aang) and they support and trust each other and value each other's contributions. Zuko puts up with Sokka's antics and Sokka tries to include Zuko into the group's "fun" side.

Anyway, I think that Sokka in this fic has kind of morphed fully into group dad/leader. And he's had a huge-blow to his dadness. He's lost two people he felt responsible for, and that hurts his little heart. He's trying to do his best for Katara and Aang, but he's not sure what that is. He fence sits when Aang asks him, because he knows how much weight his words have with these two. He is not a believer in the tale that Katara is spinning, because he is a pragmatic, pessimistic guy who is assuming the worst, because he thinks the knife isn't Zuko's and life isn't fair. I think Katara's version of Yugoda's story would have sounded 'too convenient' for Sokka to really believe.

Next Chapter: Aang will meditate on the Avatar state, the group will be on the way to Omashu and Zuko will meet a pretty girl and make a prat of himself.

Til then lovelies.


	2. The Cave of Two Lovers

_Aang was the ocean, and the ocean was implacably angry. Tui had been murdered. Rage wants destruction. The ocean knew this was true for humans and spirits._

 _La treated everyone the same. It sank all the ships. It ignored all the screams and pleads for mercy. It drowned all the men in armour it came across, searching for the one who had taken Tui out of the pond._

 _La felt a belly flip. The human Avatar was distressed and trying to break free, but La still needed the Avatar and held him fast with the strength of the tides. La wasn't finished yet._

 _There was fire coming from within the city. La turned and saw two fire benders fighting each other. Always fighting, those people. The spirits had given them a beautiful gift and look what they did with it. One of the benders was the Tui-killer. This one La drowned himself. The other firebender started shouting at La's belly. La felt an unfamiliar curiosity. The firebender was about to die—it was an odd thing to do. La realised he was trying to talk to the Avatar, who was still suspended inside, as if words alone could wake the young Avatar up._

 _Such was the folly of humans._

 _La hesitated. This one was familiar to him. He was not wearing armour like the others. He was wearing Water Tribe clothing. He had been attacking the Tui-killer and not the tribe. Still, he was a firebender. No exceptions. It was the only fair way. La should send him to join his countrymen._

 _But Tui had_ liked _this one._

 _If La were to make an exception and spare him, the human needed to understand the gravity of the gift La was giving. La tried to tell him, but humans were so fragile and tiny. They never understood. The boy clutched his head in pain and doubled over. He was swept away by a blur of movement. Another human was pushing him off the bridge and towards the city streets. La let them be._

 _The moon had returned to the sky. Tui had come back._

 _La looked around at his work and was satisfied._

 _He was finished._

-0-

Aang was meditating when Sokka went to check up on him. This wasn't unusual; however, Aang's face was normally a serene, blank mask when he meditated. Now he looked scared. That sucked. Sokka had hoped that meditating would help Aang get over his little stint as a swirling tornado of death, but meditating alone clearly wasn't helping. They were probably going to have to talk about _feelings_ over dinner now.

Sokka took the fish he had caught back to Katara, only to find her in an even worse state. She was sitting with her arms around her knees, just staring sadly at the bundle of twigs in front of her like she was hoping they would light themselves on fire if she stared at them long enough. She hadn't even started dinner yet! Sokka wasn't going to eat for ages now!

He pushed his annoyance away. For all that he wanted to grumble at her, he quickly realised this was the first fire she'd had to light herself since the autumn. Instead of lighting a fire, she had decided to think about the guy who used to light the fire for them and so elected to become _a moping avalanche_ instead.

Sokka knew this would happen! It was why he always threw water all over those two idiots.

"Here, let me do that," he said, kneeling beside his sister and taking the sparks rocks.

She smiled warmly. She had finally tricked him into helping with dinner. Sokka found himself being instructed on how to boil rice and how to cook vegetables. It should have annoyed him, but Katara was back in full bossy mode and she was smiling faintly and teasing him. That was much preferable to the moping avalanche.

This was their first night travelling with just the three of them. Sokka found himself (bizarrely and ironically) wishing that Zuko was around to _lighten the mood._ Who knew that grumpy, sarcastic jerk had become their source of comedy? Sokka sucked at cheering people up. How had this become his job?

Aang turned up when dinner was ready and sat down in the circle with a great deal of melancholy. Katara, her mummy senses tingling, went over to him and asked what was wrong while plying him with rice and vegetables. Aang told them he had been trying to access the Avatar State through meditation, and they both became very alarmed. Aang quickly back-tracked, explaining that he wasn't trying to go into the Avatar State, but he had been trying to remember clearly and piece together what exactly had happened when he was a glowing blob monster of doom.

"Oh, Aang, don't do that!" Katara cut in.

"Why not?" Aang asked sharply, turning to her with narrowed eyes. There was an edge to his voice. Sokka could tell that Katara's protectiveness was starting to grate on the younger boy.

"Remembering properly, it will only hurt you," she whispered.

"I have to know if I killed Zuko! You can't expect me to just not know if I murdered my friend for the rest of my life!"

Katara moved backwards, holding her hand over her heart defensively. Aang never yelled at her. The silence stretched out for a long time.

"Did you?" Sokka eventually asked, breaking the staring stalemate between the two. He thought it was a fair question after Aang had casually dropped the subject of friendicide into the conversation.

"No!" Aang snapped.

Yikes! Post-meditation Aang was a pain in the butt. It was like Aang had decided it was his turn to become a moody bastard since Zuko had left that position in the saddle wide open.

Sokka wanted to snap back that he was sure that Aang had a lot of feelings about the shenanigans that went down when he was a blob monster of doom, but that was no reason to take it out on them. But he refrained because, one, this would not help their situation; two, Katara and Aang were both moody and snappy enough as it was. The last thing their group needed was for Sokka to join them in the too-many-feelings club.

Aang, to his credit, seemed to realise how grumpy he was acting and apologised. He said his meditation had been really horrible and it had put him in a bad mood. He remembered everything.

Oh no.

The _parade of lies_ had collapsed completely, just like Sokka had always known it would.

"When I meditated, I was the Ocean Spirit," Aang explained. "I wasn't me. But I saw everything the Ocean Spirit did. _Everything._ All those people..." he trailed off, looking heartsick. He couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence.

Katara reached out and rubbed his shoulder, and this seemed to snap him out of his little funk.

"I saw Zuko, too," he told her. "He was on a bridge fighting with Zhao, but then he saw me inside the blob monster … I mean the Ocean Spirit. He tried to wake me up. The Ocean Spirit drowned Zhao, but it wasn't sure about Zuko, because the moon likes him. Then his uncle came and pulled him away. I saw them head down to the harbour together with Yugoda. They escaped."

Huh? So Yugoda _hadn't_ been lying?

Katara had been right?

Sokka glanced at his sister. She was looking immensely pleased. She loved being right. She was going to rub Sokka's face in it, he knew. There'd be no living with her after this.

Still, the thought of putting up with a smug Katara didn't dampen the relief that washed through him. He liked thinking that his jerk friend was out there now, probably doing more reckless shit and driving his uncle crazy with his angst volcano grumpiness.

"That's good to know," Sokka said sincerely.

"Oi, I already told you that's what happened," Katara interjected.

"You're an unreliable source of information when it comes to Zuko. Now we know for sure."

Katara made an offended face.

"Yeah," Aang said, sounding gloomy, "but I also know for sure that I killed all those people in the ships. I saw it happen."

"That wasn't you, Aang," Katara said gently, trying to sooth his hurt. "That was the Ocean Spirit."

"I made a choice to unleash the Ocean Spirit though, didn't I?"

"It was either going to be us or them," Sokka said flatly. "If you hadn't unleashed the spirit, the North would have been decimated and Yue would have died for nothing."

His heart constricted at the thought of the girl he'd adored. Yue was definitely gone forever. No Avatar vision would bring her back.

Sokka pulled himself together and met Aang's gaze. "You did the right thing."

Aang looked unhappy but didn't snap at him the way he had been snapping at Katara. It was tough love, truth-telling time, which was always Sokka's speciality. Coddling Aang Katara-style had blown up in their faces. Now it was cold, hard logic's time to shine!

"Look," Sokka continued, coldly and logically, feeling like he was on a roll. "As the Avatar, you'll need to make hard choices like this."

"Well, maybe I don't want to be the Avatar!"

Aang instantly covered his mouth with his hand, as if his outburst had surprised even himself and he was trying to shove the words back in. A startled silence settled over the three of them. Sokka had no idea how to respond to that. Aang wasn't wrong. Being the Avatar wasn't looking that glamorous or appealing now that Sokka had seen it up close and personal. It seemed like it sucked monkey-feathers, to be honest. Sokka would take being a non-bender any day over suddenly becoming a killer blob monster.

"I think we should look for Zuko," Katara said.

Maybe she was just changing the subject away from Aang's burgeoning, and inconvenient, existential crisis, but it wasn't the worst idea. Katara's coddling and Sokka's logic weren't helping Aang now. Maybe Zuko's weird mix of being very dramatic, emotional but also awkwardly honest would cheer Aang up. Aang certainly seemed to think so. He latched on to this idea too. They both turned to look at Sokka.

"I'm not opposed to this idea," Sokka said, not liking what their expressions conveyed. It was like they were expecting Sokka to say no and poo-poo all over their idea. Sure, Sokka was a pessimist and a realist, but he wasn't a jerk. "Where is he? Point it out and we'll go there straight after we have collected Bumi." He got out a map and showed it to Katara.

Sokka grinned to himself. This was going to be hilarious. Zuko thought Sokka was the most annoying person in the world, but he hadn't met Bumi yet. Bumi was going to annoy the shit out of Zuko.

Katara took the map and looked at it for a long time, her smile fading rapidly. Sokka realised quite abruptly that she really didn't know where Zuko was. There had been a kernel of truth to her _parade of lies._ Sokka felt a wave of irritation. Why did she have to go and suggest something like collecting Zuko and getting everybody's hopes up if she had no idea where he was!

Honestly! Now Sokka had to be the bad guy again.

"Look, Zuko always turns up sooner or later," Sokka said, snatching the map off her. "Let's just focus on getting Aang to Omashu and finding Bumi."

It was the logical thing to do, after all.

-o-

Katara had taken Aang into the stream to teach him some waterbending. She hoped this would help soothe over how weird things had become between them last night. She knew Aang was annoyed at her for trying to protect him, but she felt he was being a little unfair. Protecting him was what she had always done, and she had been doing it for his own good. She just wanted them to be friends again.

She started with octopus forms, which had always been Aang's favourite, even though he'd never perfected them. It was fun teaching him and he didn't seem grumpy with her anymore, which was lovely. Then she adjusted his posture and he blushed very deeply.

No! That was much worse!

Did he still have a crush on her?

How could he be so grumpy with her and still have a crush on her?

It didn't make sense.

Thankfully, they were interrupted by a group of hippies. Katara was glad for their cheerful songs and how much they annoyed Sokka. She was also rather fond of Lily's ability to attach flowers to anything. Appa's shaggy hair and her braid all got the flower-power treatment. Aang's bald head proved challenging, but Lily settled for making him a flower crown instead.

Sokka kept encouraging them to abandon the hippies and get on the way to Omashu, but every time he tried, he would inadvertently remind Chong of another song. Aang would always want to hear the song in question. Katara and Sokka had both come to an unspoken agreement to be gentler with Aang after his outburst about not wanting to be the Avatar. He was younger than her and under so much pressure. He deserved all the fun songs he wanted.

Katara could have listened all day, but after the twenty-seventh song, and Sokka's twenty-seventh attempt to get them moving, he grumbled, "It's times like this I really miss Zuko. He'd back me up on this."

Sokka had said it under his breath, but Katara still heard. Her heart stopped for a second and then started beating again really rapidly. She touched the knife at her belt, trying to steady herself. No matter how much Sokka professed to miss Zuko, she missed him more. She missed him every day. She found she couldn't get used to him not being around. Yesterday, when she had tried to light the fire, her longing for him had hit her with the force of tidal wave. She'd ended up just staring at the twigs pathetically for more than half an hour. She'd looked sad enough that it had prompted Sokka to help her with the cooking, which was a small miracle.

At first it had been hard to even speak his name, and it seemed like Sokka had understood. He'd avoided mentioning Zuko around her, which was surprisingly sensitive for her emotionally dense older brother. However, after the conversation last night, it looked like Sokka was just going to start casually mentioning him now. Aang knew everything now too, and that was for the best. There weren't any more secrets now.

Well, maybe just the one secret, but she was keeping that to herself.

-0-

Iroh wanted to use the asset of a surprise mongoose lizard to his best advantage, but Sunflower was a conspicuous animal to trade. He needed a subtle, clever fence. Thankfully, he knew such an agent in the nearby area who was good at discreetly hiding and trading stolen goods. They tethered Sunflower in a hidden glen in the nearby forest and wandered into the small farming town.

Iroh was glad Zuko knew of the White Lotus now. The fact that Iroh didn't need to hide what he was up to made transactions like this much easier. Iroh wasn't sure how he would have manufactured a meeting with his contact if Zuko had still been in the dark about their secret society. No doubt he would have had to create some kind of medical emergency that needed to be treated by her daughter, Song, the local apprentice healer. She was perpetually inviting strangers home for dinner. Her mother, Aya, encouraged this. Constantly feeding strangers had helped hide meetings.

Right now Song was proving an obstacle. Iroh desperately needed to talk to Aya alone, but her daughter was still at the dinner table. Song was completely in the dark about her mother's less than legal activities. Aya preferred to keep it that way. If they were to discuss arrangements for fake identities and supplies, they needed her to leave the room.

But how could Iroh delicately remove her from the situation?

She was currently making moon-eyes at his nephew, despite Zuko's taciturn nature. Moon-eyes that Zuko was either completely oblivious to or was steadfastly ignoring. Iroh could use that. It would probably help to remove Zuko from the conversation too, as technically he was not an initiate and shouldn't be privy to these discussions.

Iroh felt like it would be tawdry to directly ask his nephew to lure Song out of the room. Zuko was currently obeying everything Iroh said, but Iroh was sure he would only do this up to a point. Zuko had bristled when Iroh said they had to sell Sunflower. He certainly would not react well to being told to make pleasant conversation and comely eyes at a girl, then go stand outside and be ... sexually _alluring._

Thankfully, Zuko's quick temper saved Iroh from having to resort to giving him such a tawdry instruction. Song mentioned her father fighting in the war and politely asked Zuko about his own father. Zuko was still very sensitive to mentions of Ozai and these polite inquiries caused him to stomped outside. Song, eager to make amends, followed him. As soon as the two children had left, Aya turned to him.

"I can get you fake papers," she said, "but are you sure about the name Mushi?"

-0-

Zuko let his uncle take the bed. Uncle had repeatedly offered to share, but Zuko had steadfastly refused. Duck always made the old man a bit gassy, and Zuko wanted to be well away from the ensuing emissions. He didn't mind sleeping on the floor. After so long sleeping rough in the forest with … _them,_ the dry floor in a warm room would do fine.

Zuko had never minded when they were camping, though. He actually missed it, missed them. He missed Sokka's jokes, Aang's easy friendship and Katara's _everything._ It sucked, because he knew that no matter how much he missed them, they weren't missing him at all. They were probably all still furious at him.

They must hate him now.

Uncle told Zuko that he had decided to stay one more day while his flower friend prepared some documents for them. Zuko regretted letting his uncle make all their decisions. Zuko didn't want to stay one more day, especially not with that Song girl around. She made him uncomfortable. He couldn't even pinpoint why. She was very nice to him—a little too nice to be honest. He had always found it unnerving when people were nice to him.

"What is the girl doing that is making you so uncomfortable, Nephew?" Uncle asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"She's just always trying to talk to me," Zuko grumbled. "It's weird. I don't know what she wants from me."

"You don't?"

Zuko couldn't see his uncle's face in the dark room, but the surprise in his uncle's voice indicated that the old man knew something Zuko didn't. Zuko hated it when his uncle kept things from him. He grumbled about this too.

"It is not a secret," Uncle said. "She has a little crush on you."

"Don't be ridiculous!"

Zuko could feel his cheeks going red. He couldn't fathom another girl being interested in him. It didn't make sense. She wasn't Katara.

Song had tried to touch his scar anyway, even though she wasn't Katara. Zuko had recoiled from Song because she was pretty much a stranger. He didn't like strangers touching him at all. Then she'd shown him the scars on her legs and Zuko had been horrified.

His nation really had done nothing but hurt and terrorise innocent people.

"Mine are a bit bigger than yours," Song had said quietly.

Zuko had wrinkled his nose in response. He had wondered then if she had been trying to compete with him—about scar size of all things. Of course she was right. Her legs were striped from ankle to knees in puckered skin. Technically more of her ... surface area was covered in burns. But she could easily hide them. Zuko's burn was on his face. He'd nearly lost sight in his eye. That was way worse. He'd pointed this out to her.

She'd squirmed and got all self-conscious, saying she was sorry. "I wasn't trying to compare," she had said. "Just nobody else here has scars like mine, and I guess I just wanted somebody to talk to." She'd looked at him with big brown eyes as if implying that she thought he would be that someone.

Zuko had gotten up abruptly and walked back inside. He'd figured that watching his uncle flirt with the mother would be less uncomfortable than staying with Song out on the veranda. He didn't want to be scar buddies with her. Retreat had seemed like the best option, even if it had been a little rude. He'd told himself it didn't matter anyway since they'd be leaving.

But now his uncle wanted to stay another day. This made the Avoid Being Scar Buddies plan difficult.

"Zuko, can you take Song for a little walk tomorrow morning," Uncle asked after a few moments.

"What?"

"I need to arrange our false identities with Aya and gather more supplies for our journey. Song cannot know of our activities."

Zuko exhaled. All the Flower Friends kept secrets from their kids. Why should this one be any different? It made him feel a little sorry for Song. Her mother was keeping so many secrets from her. Song didn't have anyone else. It was going to hurt when she realised that the one person she thought she could always rely on had lied to her too, but she was going to have to pretend it didn't bother her.

The next morning, Zuko took her on a walk and tried his best to make ... urgh, _small talk._ He hated small talk. Small talk was the worst. He was terrible at it. It was awkward.

He missed Katara. He hadn't felt awkward around Katara.

Well, truth be told, he'd made a total pillock of himself the first few times she had tried to kiss him. He'd been awkward around her then. She even had to ask him to bend down for their first kiss in the garden.

" _You're too tall for me,"_ she'd said. " _If you want me to kiss you, you've got to sit down or bend down, you big lummox."_ She'd blushed and smiled hopefully at him, and her eyes had been so blue and pretty.

Zuko hadn't even known what a lummox was. It didn't sound like a bad thing when Katara said it, but he'd never asked either. It hadn't seemed to matter after Katara had put her lips on his.

He glanced at Song. She probably didn't know what a lummox was either. She'd be no help there.

Their conversation had hit an uncomfortable silent patch. Zuko wasn't sure how long it had been going on for, but it had probably been a while. He'd been thinking about Katara and had lost track of time. He just didn't know what to say to Song. He needed a neutral topic of conversation. Nothing to do with the war or burn scars or the Avatar or what he liked to do for fun. Apparently, "nothing" was an unacceptable answer to this question. He wracked his brains for something to say to her.

He looked down and spied a pretty flower. Girls liked flowers. He should have given Katara flowers! Would she have liked flowers? She probably would have smiled at him the way she used to, like she wanted him around and enjoyed his company, and then she would have ...

 _No, don't think about her!_

He pushed the daydream away. It wasn't Song's fault that she wasn't Katara. She was a kind girl who seemed to like him. And he was being a real dick to her. He could fix that. He had been trying to find something to say to her before he'd been distracted by plants.

Plants! That was it. They were neutral. Trees never took sides in arguments.

"What plants do you use for healing?" Zuko asked.

She was a healer. She could probably talk about it for ages. Yugoda could ramble on for hours without taking a breath. It meant Zuko could just listen and not say anything. He wouldn't have to worry about saying anything rude or wrong then. He really did find it interesting, too.

Song looked delighted at his sudden curiosity and began talking about the different herbs growing around them. They wandered through the forest for most of the morning and started picking some that Song needed for her remedies. Zuko was fascinated. The Earth Kingdom had different medicines to both the Fire Nation and the Water Tribe. Unbidden, he thought of Yugoda and her healing book. She would have loved this. Zuko wished he had some way of talking to the old woman again to tell her what he had learned.

When Zuko and Song returned, Uncle made a few comments about how sweet it was for Zuko to pick flowers for Song. Zuko told his uncle the flowers were actually to make a tonic to treat chronic diarrhoea. He wanted to kill any romantic notions the old man got in his head stone dead, and nothing was a bigger romance killer than diarrhoea.

Uncle had been busy in his absence. He'd sold or swapped all their previous belongings, even Zuko's parka. Zuko felt a knot in his stomach. Yugoda had given it to him. He didn't have anything from the Fire Nation or anything from his ship anymore. The only things he had from his time in the North had been the clothes on his back.

He'd kind of wanted to keep it, just to remind himself of … No! That was stupid. Azula had always made fun of him for being too sentimental. Sentimentality wouldn't help him now.

They were starting all over again. It was smart for them to have money and to not wear anything too noticeable. Zuko knew that. Sunflower was on her way to a good home, and they now had an ostrich horse (Uncle had named her Jasmine, after the tea), a few changes of clothes (all nondescript green instead of blue or red), some supplies, and two sets of fake papers. They were now officially Lee and Mushi, refugees travelling together throughout the Earth Kingdom.

He wouldn't be Zuko anymore.

Maybe that was for the best.

Being Zuko sucked. Maybe Lee would have a better time of it.

-0-

Katara read aloud the story of Oma and Shu in the fading light of her torch. The tomb seemed suddenly airless and warmth rose to her cheeks. Her heart was beating faster and suddenly she was blinking back tears. She traced the characters with her fingers. Two lovers, forbidden from one another, with a war dividing their people. They were exactly like her and Zuko!

Well, not exactly.

Oma had built a city, not walloped her boyfriend with a block of ice during their first real fight. Shu had died tragically instead of trying to abscond with the world's last hope for peace in a fit of stupidity. But still, there were enough similarities. Katara would have to be blind to miss it. One was even dressed in red and one was dressed in blue in the picture, for goodness' sake!

Their story was so tragic. It made her sad to think of them. They were in love, even despite the war between their people, but love hadn't overcome. Love hadn't been enough. Oma didn't get a happy ending. She had the power to move mountains, but she hadn't been able to keep Shu alive and with her. Her grief and rage had decimated two villages because their pointless fighting had taken her boyfriend from her.

Katara understood that anger. Katara wondered what she would have done if she had someone else to blame for taking Zuko from her. Would she have shown Oma's restraint and mercy? Or would she have been like the Ocean Spirit after Tui was murdered, all rage and decimation? She wasn't sure.

But Katara knew she had no one else to blame but herself for what had happened during the Siege of the North. She'd been too aggressive and hot-headed. She'd just lashed out. Zuko had been trying to talk to her. She hadn't wanted to listen because she hadn't liked what he was saying. She wondered what would have happened if she had listened and tried to talk him out of it instead of just reacting. Perhaps things would have been different for them.

She'd hurt him, which was something she never thought she would do. It made her guts churn with shame to think of it. She knew he was sorry for what he'd done, but she had no way of telling him that she was sorry too.

She longed for him now. She just wanted to talk to him again. Her big lummox. He'd probably try apologising to her at the same time that she wanted to apologise to him, and then they'd both make a mess of it, and it would be weird for a bit. But then he'd smile at her that way he did—the quick, shy smile she loved. He was always happy to see her. He smiled whenever he saw her. If they'd both been different people, they could've built a life on that.

She wished he was here now.

Not in the least because if he were here, it would solve their immediate problem of running out of light. She should probably focus on that and not drive herself crazy with thoughts of what might have been. She looked at the final line of engraving.

 _Love is brightest in the dark._

That was the key to finding a light source. Love? Katara had so much love in her heart, but how to show it in a way that spirits would recognise? She looked up at the statue. They were kissing. The spirits wanted to see a kiss before they would turn on the lights?

Oh.

Now she really wished Zuko was here with her.

As it was, the only person here for her to kiss was Aang. Katara didn't know if she could do it. She didn't feel that way about him, but she knew he felt that way about her. She didn't want to encourage him. But she also didn't want to get trapped forever in these tunnels. Perhaps she could just close her eyes and imagine she was kissing somebody else, somebody taller with a raspy voice and a shy smile. It wouldn't be so bad.

"Aang, I have a crazy idea..."

She started trying to explain her idea, but her torch started flickering rapidly. When the fire had gone out, a row of crystals glowed eerily and illuminated a path for them. So that's how Oma and Shu had met up! None of this kissing for voyeuristic spirits! They had simply put out their torches and followed bio-luminescent rocks.

"Oh, Aang, this is great!" She exclaimed, giddy with relief. "We don't have to kiss after all."

"Yeah, great," Aang muttered darkly behind her, but she pretended she didn't hear him and hurried forward, following the crystals and hoping for sunlight.

-0-

Lovely readers,

Enormous massive thank you to the gorgeous and fantastic Boogum, for her amazing beta skills.

Huge thanks to everyone who gives feedback. Feedback helps keep me motivated to write.

In book two, because our core-four are going to be separate for a little while and I am really impatient to get the band back together again, I will be skipping over bits. I'll probably refer to what I've skipped over to help everyone figure out the timeline – but I won't be doing detailed re-writes of episodes. I'll be writing what would have changed as a result of Zuko's time with the group.

So, as much as I like all the shenanigans with the hippies and the secret tunnel song, those bits would not have changed that much from Zuko travelling with the Gaang earlier. Besides, everything Chong does is already comedy gold and I didn't know what more I could add to it.

So there will be much pining from our drama llamas for the next little while. All aboard the pining train. Even though they are apart, they will be thinking about each other a lot. They had a lot of "dates" in the north that we didn't get to see in detail, because I was saving them for memories in this story. So my lovely readers will still see them together in flashback form until they are reunited. I hope that makes dramatic teenage pining more enjoyable!

So Aang now know exactly what he did as the Ocean spirit. His need to know if he had murdered Zuko was his motivation to do this – because I think Aang needed a really big motivation to look closely at the events of the siege of the North.

Now Aang knows that his actions lead to many, many deaths. As a result he is a bit more emotional and snappy with his friends, but I think this would be a normal reaction. Some people can only lash out and express their negative feelings when they feel really safe and comfortable. Aang was probably raised to reject negative emotions (from his attitude towards anger, shame and guilt), so dealing with his guilt and his feelings of being 'used' by the ocean spirit were always going to be hard for him.

I also think it would be a natural progression for Aang to start chafing against Katara's maternal protectiveness, especially her desire to hide unpleasant truths from him. Katara lowkey knows about Aang's massive crush, and that is one of her motivations for not telling him about her relationship with Zuko, because she knows it will upset him.

So Iroh's thing with the tea-poisoning - in my headcanon he did that for a purpose. C'mon, this man knows his tea. All of his shenanigans in the forest seemed to be to get Zuko to go into the town, possibly because he had a flower friend contact there.

Also, you know what I think would be cool? If the flower friends aren't just a group of old dudes swapping codes through Pai Sho, but an active, current resistance movement/spy network. They have more lady members, like Song's mum. (She always makes too much roast duck for a reason girl). However they are not above less than legal activities like trading in stolen goods or forging papers. In fact, they'd probably have people who specialised in this. They operate in the shadows, and have a more concrete mission than just 'restoring balance' - which I will elaborate on in a later chapter.

Zuko's awkwardness around other people isn't something that would magically go away just because he had Katara as a girlfriend. Poor Song really is barking up the wrong tree. Not only is he heartbroken about Katara, he has no idea what to do with a girl...like at all. He's baffled by why Song would even like him and wouldn't have been able to talk to her, and given her rude/curt one word answers to all her questions.

However, Zuko can recognise when he is being a jerk much better now. He's still in his woe-is-me, everybody-hates-me, I'm-the-worst mode, and he doesn't want to add unmitigated-jerk-to-sweet-healer-girls to that list. He is also projecting hardcore when he realises that Song has no idea about her mother's involvement in the flower friends and he feels a bit sorry for her.

The one thing they would have had in common would have been an interest in healing, so that is what they talked about. Zuko misses his Yugoda-grandma and it reminds him of his time in the North. He doesn't steal her ostrich horse here, because he's a lot further along in his journey, they already had a moongoose lizard to trade and he is going to get up to plenty of stealing later...mostly so I can make cheap jokes about him stealing hearts.

Next chapter we will go to Omashu, find out more about Aang's relationship with Bumi and Kuzon and our trio will meet another trio of dangerous ladies!


	3. Omashu

Aang tried not to think of his disappointment when Katara had run away from him in the tunnel of love. He tried to think about how great it would be to see Bumi again instead. He might get to see another glimpse of his crazy, adventurous friend inside the old king. The closer Aang got to Omashu, the sharper his memories of a younger Bumi became. Aang was remembering the last time he had been here, before the iceberg, when Bumi had promised to teach him earthbending.

It was a hundred years ago for everyone else.

For Aang, it was only a few months since they had been young together.

-0-

"Hey, Kuzon, want to hear a joke?" Bumi asked as the three boys sat on the edge of the walls of Omashu.

It was Kuzon's first visit to Omashu, and Aang had Bumi were trying to introduce him to mail-chute racing, but they had run into little problem: Kuzon was scared of heights. Aang had tried encouraging him, but had been unsuccessful. Now Bumi was trying to annoy him over the edge.

"Not one of yours." Kuzon said flatly, still staring down at the ground a long way below them.

"It's a joke about paper … it's pretty _tearable_."

Kuzon groaned loudly.

"Don't groan like that," Bumi said. "That's not the worst. I used to work at a shoe recycling shop. That was _sole-destroying_." He waggled his eyebrows.

"That one is the worst!" Kuzon looked at Bumi in horror.

"You shouldn't worry about crashing off the mail chute, you know," Bumi continued. "The graveyard in Omashu is very nice. People are _dying_ to get in there!"

Kuzon grumbled and actually hopped into the mail chute box behind Aang. He said hurtling towards certain death was way better than having to listen to one more of Bumi's bad jokes. He bemoaned the fact that they could never do anything normal together.

"Sorry, I wasn't able to make reservations at the library, dingbat; they were _completely booked up_!" Bumi retorted, grinning widely at Kuzon as he hopped into the other box.

"I'm already in the box of death, Bumi! You don't have to torture me with your terrible jokes anymore!" Kuzon turned to the airbender. "Get us out of here, Aang!"

"Don't worry, Kuzon," Aang said, upbeat and glad their race could finally begin. "This is going to be fun! Ready?"

"No!" Kuzon wailed, but Aang had already blasted them off.

Kuzon yelled hysterically the entire way down. Aang yelled joyfully the entire way down. Bumi had been winning and yelled at both of them to eat his dirt for the entire way down. They landed with a huge thump.

Bumi popped his head over the side, grinning his gap-toothed smile. "What did you think, Kuzon? Pretty fun, eh?" he said cheerfully.

Kuzon responded by vomiting on Bumi's feet. He told Aang later that this had been deliberate. Aang normally felt amused by their antics. They had been squabbling with each other since the day Aang had introduced them. Aang thought Bumi insisting Kuzon do the mail chute on the first day was payback for when Kuzon had made Bumi try to ride the squidshark and eat a dish with a four chilli rating when they had been in the Fire Nation.

But as Aang watched them try and get each other in a headlock, he felt a wave of apprehension. It was like there was this voice in the back of his mind saying that this was the last time all three of them would be together like this. Aang needed to get these two dingbats to get along properly without him there as a buffer.

Things were changing quickly. The monks wanted to put him on a brutal training regime. Gyatso had sent word to Kuzon's dad and Bumi's aunt and had taken Aang to Omashu for a surprise trip. Gyatso was trying to cheer Aang up and take his mind off the pressure he was under. Gyatso hoped that Aang being able to hang out with his two best friends would help.

Still, it hadn't passed Aang's notice that they had gone to Omashu instead of Kuzon's island, which was much closer. Gyatso never took him to the Fire Nation anymore, not since the last time. They nearly hadn't even been able to see Kuzon last time. Kuzon had been at training with the other Young Sozin Society members, which just happened to be every other kid on the island (attendance was compulsory). There had been no one for Aang to play with. Gyatso and Kuzon's dad had sent him to the beach, but he'd still heard snippets of their argument. Then Kuzon had come along the beach, still in his grey YSS uniform. He'd looked up and saw Aang and had instantly broken into a sprint. He'd rushed Aang back to the house and told him and Monk Gyatso that they had to go immediately. He'd been panicked.

That had been two months ago. Aang still didn't quite know what had been going on that day. He brought it up with Kuzon that night.

The three of them were sharing Bumi's extremely large room in the castle. The servants had put out extra beds for Aang and Kuzon. Aang waited until everyone was tucked in before he had enough courage to mention it.

"Can I be honest?" Kuzon asked apprehensively.

"Yes, _Honest._ Can I still be Bumi!" Bumi called from the other side of the room, chortling to himself.

"Shut up, Bumi!" Kuzon grumbled, before turning back to Aang. "I think the monks are right, Aang. I think the Fire Nation is getting ready for war."

Aang got up and started pacing nervously. He'd come here to escape the pressure, not have his friend agree with the monks.

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but the things they are making us do in the YSS—it's battle training. Sozin's been saying all kinds of things about airbenders, and you can't speak against him or say he's wrong because that's treason. It's illegal to house airbenders in your home now. Whole families and airbenders get taken away for doing it. No one ever sees them again. I'm sorry about that day, but I had only just found out, and I didn't want the both of us to be dragged off to the Boiling Rock..."

Aang felt queasy. It was really happening, then. The war that he kept hearing the monks whisper about. He had hoped they were wrong. But Kuzon was saying he thought they were right.

"Do you think the monks are right about me having to train nonstop all on my own and never be allowed to do anything fun, because fun is a distraction?" Aang asked. "Do you think the monks are right when they say I can't have friends? They say I'll have to _fight you_ someday."

Aang had started speaking calmly, but his tone had gotten more distraught as he spoke.

The lights flared brighter, and Kuzon got up from his bed. Bumi, too, was on his feet now.

"No, Aang. We'll always be friends. Always," Kuzon said firmly. "I'm on your side!"

"Aang, it's going to be okay," Bumi said, serious for once. There were no jokes this time.

It was easy for them to say. Neither of them were the Avatar. Neither of them had to stop a war and save the world. It was too big for Aang. He was just a dumb kid. Aang didn't want this. He hadn't chosen this.

"No! It's not okay!" Aang said, kicking his bag across the room. "I don't want to have to stop an entire war all on my own!"

"You won't be on your own," Kuzon said, pulling him into a hug.

"I second that." Bumi threw himself into the hug as well.

And there Aang stayed for a little while, arms around Kuzon and Bumi, while his two closest friends held him tightly back.

"Let's make a pact," Kuzon said, pulling back from the hug. "From now on, we'll always have your back. If you ever need us, we'll be there."

Aang nodded, feeling warm down to his toes.

Kuzon gripped his shoulder. "Sozin can kiss my arse. I'll still teach you firebending when the time comes, even if they want to exile me for it."

"And I'll teach you earthbending, even though no one will exile me for it because I'm going to be king. But even if I was going to be exiled for it, I'd still do it," Bumi added, not wanting to be outdone.

Kuzon rolled his eyes dramatically and shoved him. Bumi shoved him back.

"We should make this official and become blood brothers," Bumi said excitedly, picking up a rock from his nightstand.

He began rubbing the rock together in his hands to make a pointy end, then cut his finger open. He passed the rock to Aang, who did the same.

"You'll always have us, Aang," Bumi said as their fingers joined.

Aang nodded, feeling a little taken aback by Bumi's sincerity. Aang passed the rock to Kuzon.

Kuzon made a face at the rock. "This is so gross and unhygienic."

"Just do it, dingbat," Bumi said, poking him.

Kuzon cut his finger with the rock and pressed his cut to the other boys' bleeding fingers. "We'll be friends forever," he said.

"Forever," Aang agreed.

Bumi grinned. "The monks are wrong about you not having friends, Aang. As soon as you get out of that temple, you can come hang with us. I'll teach you earthbending way better and much quicker than this dingbat will teach you firebending." He jabbed Kuzon with his finger, who shoved him back. "I can teach you to earthbend with just your face!"

"I'll teach you firebending much better than this crazy jerk will teach you earthbending. He'll probably start you off snorting jennamite. That's what he means by earthbending with his face!" Kuzon pointed at Bumi's lopsided grin. "Look at that face—that is the face of a madman!"

"It's the face of a mad genius!" Bumi rested his chin on Kuzon's shoulder with a mischievous grin. "I'll have you know that face-bending was a real ... _ground breaking_ invention." He looked at Kuzon with a crazily eager look.

Kuzon groaned and pushed Bumi's face away, but Aang laughed properly for the first time in two months.

Aang wasn't in the habit of worrying too much about the consequences and what would happen tomorrow. Gyatso had always taught him to try and live in the moment. In that moment, Kuzon and Bumi had made him feel safe and warm and loved. They filled his heart with hope and comfort.

He looked at the two of them and thought being the Avatar wouldn't be so bad with these two idiots by his side. He only needed to find a waterbending teacher now. Whoever that was would have to get along with Bumi and Kuzon, though. The other two boys had decided that they'd leave their homes and travel with Aang when the time came. It meant the world to Aang, knowing that he didn't have to be alone. Bumi and Kuzon would be with him. In that moment, he'd really thought that he would travel with them for the rest of their lives and they'd grow up together—get bigger and stronger and braver together.

But that was not to be.

Two weeks later, he was in the iceberg.

-0-

"We don't even know if Bumi is…" Sokka started to say.

"What?" Aang snapped.

He felt a little bad. He seemed to be snapping at Sokka and Katara a lot lately. He didn't even mean to. But Sokka was talking about just leaving Omashu without finding Bumi. Aang couldn't do that. He had to know what had happened to his friend.

He didn't want to _not know_ again.

Not knowing was the worst.

They snuck into the city though the sludge tunnels, and Sokka complained a great deal about how gross it was. They found the resistance, and Aang was able to convince them to live to fight another day. They invented a pentapox plague that helped evacuate the city. But Aang wasn't content to leave until he found Bumi. All the resistance seemed to want to give up on Bumi, but Aang knew there had to be a reason his friend had just let the Fire Nation in. Bumi had always been a mad genius.

Aang sat close to Katara that night. She always made him feel better when he was down, and she could tell he was sad about the fact that Bumi had just _given up_ the city and now all his people had given up on him. Aang wasn't giving up on him. He wasn't going to think badly of his oldest friend. Katara cuddled him and gave him a little kiss on the forehead and reassured him. She said she was sure Bumi had his reasons. It made Aang feel better.

Aang snuggled closer under her arm and thought about how to say what he was thinking. Katara had run away from him in the love tunnels because Aang had been hesitant and the lights had come on, and Aang had been cursing his luck ever since. Maybe he could bring it up with her now.

Just as he was about to open his mouth and tell her he liked her as more than a friend, they realised they had accidentally kidnapped a Fire Nation baby.

Sokka was a bit flabbergasted at how his plan had resulted in accidental kidnapping. How had accidentally kidnapping someone happened to him ... _again?_ Why did accidental kidnapping happen to smart people? A message came from the baby's family. It was the governor's baby. They had assumed Aang and his friends were holding the baby hostage and were going to do bad things to it if their demands weren't met.

Jeez, Sokka was right. They should really stop accidentally kidnapping people. It wasn't a good look for the Avatar.

Aang's chance to talk to Katara was gone now. He _tried,_ but she was just playing with the Fire Nation baby. The baby was gurgling at her a lot and making lots of baby noises. It didn't seem like she could hear Aang over the noise it was making. She was always smiling down at it and kissing it on the forehead, and cuddling it. She didn't know its name, so she just called it baby or sweetie, and asked, "Who's a good baby? Who's a beautiful baby? Who's a lovely baby? Who's my little sweetie?" in this playful, soft voice while giving it little tickles.

Aang didn't know why she was asking the baby so many questions, but the baby gurgled at her happily and clapped its hands. There was the faintest spark. The soldiers from Omashu who had been sitting with them recoiled from it, looking at the baby aghast. One of them muttered " _Fire demon"_ under his breath.

"It's a firebender, not a fire demon," Aang told them reassuringly.

He'd seen the same kind of sparks when staying with Kuzon's family. The year Kuzon had turned ten, it had already been scorching hot in the Fire Nation. They had gone swimming every day. Kuzon's cousin had been a baby then. Sometimes Kuzon's mum had to babysit, and she'd bring the baby to the beach with them. It had been the first baby Aang had ever been allowed to hold. He hadn't known what to do with it, but Kuzon's mum had been patient and showed him how to hold babies properly.

"That's how they tell who's a bender in the Fire Nation," Aang explained. "They make sparks when they're babies and get too excited and happy. They have to be watched closely when they're really little like this to make sure they don't accidentally set anything on fire." He remembered how worried Kuzon's mum had been about that. They'd have to watch this kid closely if they were going to take care of it.

"He's going to set plenty on fire on purpose when he's bigger anyway!" a soldier said harshly as he reached towards the hammer at his belt. "It can't stay with us if it's a firebender. Hostage trade be damned! May as well do the world a favour now."

Aang had no idea what he meant, but it made Katara look furious. Sokka, too. So whatever the solider meant, it was bad. Katara stood up, holding the baby on her hip with one arm wrapped protectively around it. Aang noticed her other hand hovering above her bending water. She glared at the soldiers with such ice in her gaze.

"He's just a harmless baby," she said firmly. "What kind of horrible, cowardly person is terrified of a harmless baby?"

Aang looked between them and suddenly understood what the man meant by "do the world a favour". His stomach dropped. The world didn't need any favours like that. It was already so broken and full of more than enough hate and pain.

Katara was poised for a fight. The solider had wrapped his hand around his hammer now and was glaring at the baby like he hated it, like he was scared of it. Katara implying that he was a coward had made him even angrier. Getting angry would make this situation go bad, Aang was sure of it. Angry, scared people made bad choices. The people in Makapu had been angry and scared, too. Aang needed to calm everybody down.

"I think what Katara is trying to say is that we want to keep _everyone_ safe," Aang said. "We'll look after the baby and move it some distance from the camp. I'm the Avatar, and I promise you no harm is going to come to it or anyone else while we are watching."

"Fine. But keep that fire demon away from me." The soldier let go of his hammer and sat down.

"Fine by me!" Katara turned and strode away with the baby. "Come with me, sweetie. I'm not going to let them hurt you."

Sokka set up their camp again a good distance away. He also set up a few alarms around their camp. "These'll wake us up if those numbskulls get any interesting ideas in the night," he said, then looked at the baby. "I hope you appreciate how much trouble and stress you're causing me!"

The baby babbled happily as it crawled over to him and tried to climb into his lap.

"No, you don't, do you?" Sokka said. "You firebenders never appreciate how much stress you give me." He gave it a little boop on the nose. His words were grumpy, but he smiled at the baby and picked it up.

The baby gave a delighted squeal and clapped its hands, making more sparks.

"Don't try playing cute with me." Sokka said fondly, then handed the baby back to Katara.

Katara gave the baby a big cuddle and cooed at it for a very long period of time. Sokka watched and started looking more and more concerned, and a little grumpy—which was his normal face most of the time lately. Aang understood why Sokka was grumpy. Katara was paying so much attention to the baby, and _completely ignoring them._

After a little while, Sokka started reminding Katara that this "arrangement" was only for a night. They had to swap the baby for Bumi in the morning.

"Sweetie, this is yummy. Open up for me." Katara fed the baby some mashed papaya, still ignoring Sokka.

Sokka began protesting rather vocally about Katara getting too attached.

Katara said she wasn't getting too attached. She was just trying to take care of the baby and make sure those horrible meat-heads didn't hurt it. Eventually, she finished feeding it. She had congratulated it on every mouthful like it had done something amazing. Anyone could eat! Aang ate stuff all the time, and Katara never congratulated him.

She cleaned the baby's face and smiled at it. "Sweetie-baby, you've got those beautiful honey-coloured eyes, just like..." She didn't finish her sentence. She turned her face and looked at the stars wistfully instead.

"This is exactly what I mean!" Sokka complained. "You always get too attached. No more raspberries or lullabies or cuddles. Just put it down to sleep already. You know you can't keep it!' He grabbed the nearby water pouch and squeezed it too firmly, splashing himself in the face. The baby giggled.

"Yes, Baby, that Sokka is silly, isn't he?" Katara crooned, turning back to her small charge with a smile on her face.

-0-

They were posing as beggars. Uncle said he needed to gather some information and stake out a place. Posing as beggars would help him accomplish his Flower Friend mission, throw Azula off their trail, and keep a low profile. There wasn't really a lower profile to be honest. As beggars, they were completely invisible. No one would even make eye contact with them.

Wanted posters for Uncle had gone up in the last town they had been in, and Uncle had cut his hair drastically to change his look. No posters had gone up for Zuko, which was strange. Had Azula not told their dad about finding him? Uncle said this was a good thing, because Zuko had a more recognisable face. Uncle vaguely gestured towards the left side of his face as he said this. Zuko had looked at his uncle, mouth open, offended. Uncle had apologised profusely.

Zuko wasn't angry about it. Not really. Uncle was right about his scar making him more recognisable. Still, he carried on like he was really insulted because it gave him an excuse to be angry. He was just cross that his uncle wouldn't tell him more about what they were doing watching the building. Zuko was good at shit like this. He was a damn ninja for Agni's sake. If he knew what he was looking for, he could have helped Uncle.

When he said as much to his uncle, the older man said that he couldn't tell Zuko any more details because Zuko wasn't initiated into the Flower Friends.

Zuko crossed his arms angrily. Stupid Flower Friends.

"Would you ever consider joining?" Uncle asked quietly after a few moments.

"No," Zuko said flatly.

He'd never join the Flower Friends. Stupid Flower Friends with their stupid secrets and confusing flower codes and Pai Sho obsession. Zuko didn't want anything to do with them.

Posing as beggars was humiliating and dull, but it wasn't hard. It was mostly just sitting on their butts on uncomfortable cobblestones. Zuko was bored out of his mind. He'd been so used to _doing something_ all the time. Now, there was nowhere for him to go and nothing for him to do except follow his uncle's lead. This endless waiting was driving him crazy. Zuko wondered if just being so idle was the reason his fire had been feeling ... smaller.

Some dickhead hassled Uncle, hassled a few other people, was rude to the fruit guy, and threw his weight around. Zuko hated bullies, but he still couldn't help the relief he felt when he saw the arsehole. Finally, something to do.

Zuko followed him and got a rough idea of his movements. He waited until nightfall to beat him up, kick him in the gonads, and steal his swords. They were good quality dual daos—plain but well balanced. These would do nicely.

It felt so good to hold swords in his hands again. There was something steadying and reassuring about the familiar weight of them. Zuko had always been good with swords. He practised with them in a quiet forest clearing for a long time before he was ready to go back to the banyan tree that had become their camp, their home.

-0-

Bumi didn't want to come with him and teach him earthbending. Bumi said he needed to find someone who listened and waited and who had mastered neutral jin. Aang was a bit disappointed in his friend, but he felt like it would be churlish to whine " _But you promised me"_ when Bumi had made that promise over a hundred years ago.

"Trust me, the earthbending teacher you are meant to have is going to become very dear to you. You'll see that choosing her as your teacher is for the best." A pause. "She really rocks!" Bumi grinned at his own terrible joke. "Geddit, Aang. She rocks, because she's an earthbender."

Aang didn't laugh. He looked away, feeling rejected.

"Don't be glum, Aang. My place is here. Besides, I'm one hundred and twelve; I'd cramp your style. You need this girl."

Aang smiled weakly at his oldest friend. "Where do I find her."

"That I don't know," Bumi said jovially. "Spirits, eh? They're never very good at directions."

There was another question Aang wanted to ask. He hadn't the last time because he was worried that he didn't want to know the answer. One hundred years was a really long time. It was a miracle that Bumi was still alive, even taking into account earthbender longevity. Aang didn't think he'd be that lucky twice. Still, Aang had decided that it was much better to know things for sure, even if the truth hurt. Running away and avoiding the question wouldn't make Bumi's answer any less real.

"Bumi, where's Kuzon?"

Bumi seemed saddened by the question. "Oh, Aang. I'm so sorry. He died about sixteen, maybe seventeen years ago."

Aang felt his heart crack.

"Don't be sad. Dingbat had a good old life. He got married and had kids, the whole works. He even did the mail chute again." Bumi started laughing to himself, lost in a memory Aang didn't know. "Ah, Dingbat, if life was an earth rumble, I am the last man standing, but if it was a race, you definitely beat me to the finish line."

"You stayed friends even after ..."

"Yes. You won't believe the chicanery that crazy firebender of yours dragged me into—and he always said I was the mad one!" Bumi added with a twinkle in his eye. "I could tell you some stories..."

Aang hoped he would. He wanted to know about his friends' lives while he had been frozen. But they heard the sound of rapidly approaching boots, and Aang had to go. Bumi caused a distraction, giving Aang an opportunity to escape. Aang looked sadly behind him, hating the fact that he had to leave his friend.

He'd lost too many friends as it was.

-0-

So Aang had been talking a lot about Bumi and Kuzon.

Stupid Kuzon promising Aang that he would always be there for him and then dying.

Stupid Bumi promising Aang to be his teacher and then reneging on his promise. If Sokka had been there, he would have shouted _no-taksie-backsies_ at the old king.

Bumi told Aang that his teacher would be a girl who had mastered the art of listening and waiting. That sounded so boring to Sokka. If they were going to fill their fourth spot on Appa again, Sokka really hoped it could be with another sarcastic badass, not some patient, waiting, delicate flower.

In typical Bumi fashion, he had chosen to be cryptic and unhelpful about this girl's location. So they were looking at trawling all over the Earth Kingdom. Then Aang started talking about finding Zuko again. If they were going all over the Earth Kingdom, they might find him too. Once again, Sokka handed over a map with a resigned sigh.

Katara and Aang both did this. They always hopefully brought up the possibility of finding Zuko and looked at Sokka with hope in their eyes. Then Sokka had to stomp on their hope like a professional hope-stomper.

He was just being practical. Sokka was not opposed to the Zuko-finding idea in principle. Sokka just thought this idea was very impractical given the fact that they had no idea where the ninja jerk was. You can't find a ninja if they don't want to be found. That was just a fact of life. They couldn't find Zuko in a tiny village when he was hiding from them. Sokka didn't fancy their chances when they had to look in the entire Earth Kingdom, especially when Sokka wasn't sure if Zuko wanted to be found, considering everything that had gone down. Maybe he wouldn't even want to come with them even if they found him again.

"Alright. Where is he? Let's go pick him up." Sokka waved at the map in Aang's hands. "We'll track him down and say: 'Hey, Zuko, you remember all those fun times we had where you got shot, and beaten by mobs, and locked in small rooms, and nearly executed? Fun times, eh? Let's do it again!'"

"I don't think they were fun times for Zuko," Aang replied very seriously, completely missing Sokka's sarcasm and his point. Then Aang brought up Zuko's scary-beyond-all-reason sister and her girl gang of dangerous ladies. "Maybe we can make friends with them too?"

Damnit! Why did Aang always think the best response to a scary person was to give them a hug?

"I don't know about that, Aang. The princess was stone-cold during the trade." Sokka said flatly.

Sokka needed to shut this line of thinking down. Making one Fire Nation friend was okay, but Aang shouldn't start collecting them! Sokka had gotten a really bad feeling from that girl. She seemed like a petite package of girly evil, with bonus sociopathic-vibes. She radiated this intense, scary energy. She seemed like she would be the sort of psycho who could kill you without even blinking and say things like, "I love the smell of burning in the morning" while she was doing it.

The other two girls weren't much better. The gloomy girl with the hairbuns and the knives hadn't said much. She let her knives do the talking for her. She had seemed very bored, even though they were bringing her own baby brother back to her. She got a lot livelier during the fight, especially when she saw Zuko's knife on Katara's belt. She had been really gunning for Katara then and seemed determined to take the knife. That struck Sokka as greedy. Gloomy Hairbuns already had more than enough knives!

He wondered if she had a crazy knife collection full of knives she had collected from everyone she fought, like creepy souvenirs. Gloomy would probably lay out her trophy knives, stroke them all gently and say creepy, crazy shit like, _"Yes, my pretties. You will taste blood again. Soon, my pretties."_ Her knives would be her only friends. The only things she could show any feelings around.

Gloomy was just as nuts as the princess.

"Well, she's not stroking this knife!" Katara had said very defensively after Sokka told her his crazy knife-collection/stroking theory. She had been able to keep her Zuko-knife out of Gloomy's hands and had taken to touching it frequently to check it was still attached to her belt.

The last of the dangerous ladies was the most unnerving. She had been flirting with Sokka while doing something to his shoulder. Whatever she did made all the nerve-endings go dead. Then she'd smiled widely at him and called him cutie. This probably made her the craziest of the three. She was the type of crazy who could do something deadly to you and still smile and act like she wanted to be your friend.

It would be better if they could avoid the dangerous ladies in the future.

-0-

Notes:

A million and one thank yous to Boogum for her amazing work beta-ing this chapter. Huge thanks for everyone who reviews/leaves feedback. It really makes my day and encourages me to keep writing. Thanks for joining me on another wild ride.

So I'd like to ramble about Aang and the passage of time. He woke up from a nap one hundred years later. The only person alive from Aang's past used to be the same age as him and is now ancient! That is brain wrinkling. I always thought seeing Bumi as such an old guy would have really thrown Aang for a massive loop and I wanted to explore his feelings a little bit.

I'm still sticking to my theory that Zuko is re-incarnated Kuzon. I think it explains a lot, such as why Aang really gravitated towards Zuko, and his first instinct, even despite everything that had happened was 'lets be friends'. Also the timeline fits better, their names are practically anagrams, we were going to have an episode about Kuzon. But for re-incarnation to happen Kuzon had to die. Sorry mate.

The line "if life is a race, she beat me to the finish – but if it is a boxing match, I'm the last man standing" - is from Woman in Gold, a movie that I really enjoyed, even if critics didn't like it much. I also thought it would fit what I imagine would have been a very loving, but very belligerent friendship between Kuzon and Bumi after Aang. - Gosh I have so many head canons for what those two got up too after Aang.

I'm going to drop one on you now. My Theory is: The White Lotus isn't an ancient organisation. It's a fairly new secret society/spy/resistance network that was initially created by Bumi and Kuzon and monk Pasang (one of the survivors from Aang's temple) against Firelord Sozin, to help hide and protect surviving air nomads and be a nuisance to the Fire Nation's military plans.

The White Lotus is all about 'maintaining balance'. There is no greater way of maintaining balance than ensuring the survival of a crucial quarter of the four elements. I think as teens/young adults Bumi and Kuzon got up to _shenanigans_ trying to smuggle, hide and protect survivors of the genocide - and there would have been survivors – the Air Nomads are nomadic people, who's gut instinct is to run away and avoid conflict, with forewarning that the Fire Nation is planning some nasty stuff.

Totalitarian regimes never jump straight to genocide normally. There is a propaganda period, where smaller injustices become 'acceptable' – such as forbidding hosting Air Benders at home. Sozin would probably trump up some reason for this – health most likely. Say the Air Nomads had a plague and you're endangering everyone if you let it spread to the Fire Nation. The Young Sozin Society is my ATLA version of the Hitler Youth.

So Bumi and Kuzon would make fake identities, help move the air benders, and set up little enclaves of survivors. There would have been the need for utmost secrecy, obviously. But I think there would have been other sympathetic people out there, and they would have become members and branches would have rapidly grown. They would have communicated through 'Pai Sho' strategies, because it would have been an easy way to relay complex information. I think Bumi would have been the first 'Grand Lotus' as it would have been easier for him to liaise with all the cells in the EK, but he would have handed this responsibility over after a period.

Why is Tom Tom so ridiculously _the favourite_ as per Mai's tacked on tragic backstory? I mean there had to be a reason. I feel like the most logical reason for him being doted on more is a combination of being a later in life baby and a bender. So he is.

It also let me include a scene that was inspired by one of my lovely reviewers. Someone (sorry I can't remember who, but shout out to you for this great observation!) said that the way people treated Zuko in book 1 was really unfair, because he was just a fairly innocent kid and he wasn't even doing anything bad. They compared it to ganging up on a baby.

I kind of wanted to hammer that point home with Tom Tom. I wanted to show how deep the prejudice the nations feel for each other is, because those soldiers do hate that baby for being a firebender as a result of all the evil done to them by firebenders – but it also highlights how far Sokka and Katara have come in their attitude towards the Fire Nation. They aren't governed by blind hatred and can clearly recognise it in their 'allies'.

So, I also included a little Aang jealousy here. I think Aang gets maternal and romantic love mixed up (and isn't it a shame that he never gets to learn the difference either). Aang was raised by mostly celibate monks, and never really hung out with girls before the iceberg. Katara has a whole lot of maternal loving for him. He has a crush on her and so he reads her attention as romantic. Seeing her display similar affection to Tom Tom would have made him a little jealous, but he is nowhere near understanding why or labelling it as that.

Katara calling the baby 'sweetie' is a deliberate dig at the comics, because I have petty moments too, okay. Also I consider sweetie a maternal term of endearment and use it with children when I momentarily blank their name.

So Zuko is at a very low point at the moment, even lower than in the show, because he doesn't even have the vague, nebulous goal of 'regaining his honour' and going home to devote his energy and brain-power too. No, he's sitting on his butt all day. He'd be bored out of his mind. Also Zuko was never really idle, I don't think he knows what to do with himself if he doesn't have a goal to work towards. Nope, all he's got at the moment are maudlin thoughts and beating up bullies.

I actually think that after all the things he suffered, it would make sense that his season three storyline, of his firebending getting weaker because of a loss of driving motivation, would happen a lot earlier. At least he'll have Iroh to help him through it this time – if he talks to his Uncle and stops sassing him about the flower friends that is.

Lastly, Mai recognised that knife. She knows who it belongs too. She also thinks Zuko got eaten but the Water Tribes, so Katara is not her favourite person at all. Azula hasn't told Mai that he is alive and they are also hunting him along with Iroh. Azula has her reasons, trust me. But Mai being so cheerful about hunting Zuko was something I just couldn't get behind, even for them being friends, let alone paired romantically. The 'love interest' is happy that she has to hunt down someone she supposedly cares about – blargh to that! So it doesn't happen in my story.

Next up – The swamp shows us people we love, people we lost. Katara remembers happier times in the north. Aang and Avatar Kyoshi have an enlightening conversation.

Til then.


	4. The Swamp

"The swamp shows us people we've loved," Huu had said. "People we've lost. Folks we think are gone. The swamp tells us they're not. We're still connected to them."

Katara was turning over his words after dinner as she looked out at the swamp. It still felt like her mother was gone. Chasing her shadow through the fog had broken Katara's heart all over again. She only ever got a half-glimpse of her mother. She never saw her face, never heard her voice, or her laugh. Huu said they were still connected, and Katara wanted to believe that was so.

She had never told anyone except Zuko, but the memory of her mother was becoming like an old parka, all faded and frayed. Katara had her mother's necklace, her bone needles, her temper and her smile. Katara had been so little when her mother was gone. Katara knew she'd been kind, practical, brave and had a great sense of humour. Katara hoarded those parts of her mother in her mind like they were treasures, but all the little details about her—those little incidental things you just _know_ about a person—had slipped through. The only thing she remembered about her mother with crystal-clear clarity was how she died.

Katara had talked to Zuko about this in the Spirit Oasis. As she thought about the conversation, the memories of that night returned …

-0-

They were snuggled together near the shrine. She had her head on his shoulder and their hands were intertwined. It was a cloudy night, threatening to start snowing at any moment. They were talking about his mother. Katara had been nosy and wanted to know more about her.

"What else do you remember about her?" she asked. "You only ever say she was kind and gentle, but that can't have been all there was to her."

"What do you want to know?"

"Err, what sorts of things did she like?"

"She loved the theatre, especially really romantic, soppy pantomimes. The tackier the better. She would laugh so much at them." Zuko wore a soft smile. "She liked music, too. She drilled Azula and me on the basics in most instruments. We both hated it and kept trying to escape. I remember telling Mum I wanted to play the tsungi horn because it could sound exactly like a ship's distress siren, so I could summon help when there was danger. She got so mad at me. ' _That is not what musical instruments are for, Zuko!_ '" he said, doing an impression of his mother's voice.

Katara was surprised that he could joke about things his mum had said.

"She made me go to this four day long symphony concert with her so I could better 'appreciate' music. I was so bored. Azula laughed her arse off at me. She thought it was hilarious that I was being punished through song. Then Mum got cross at her too. ' _Music is not a punishment, Azula!'_ And then I had to go _again_ with Mum and Azula, because Mum thought it would be good for us to _spend quality time together._ "

Katara stifled a chuckle at his indignant tone. Zuko laughed as well, as though he was finally seeing the funny side of being punished through song twice.

"We all had to go and sit there for days together, trapped in this concert hall, _appreciating music._ It was worse the second time because Azula kept poking me and trying to make me laugh to get me in trouble and then falling asleep on me, and I'd get pins and needles in my legs. But my mum loved it. She thought it was the best eight days ever. She said it was so nice to spend _quality time_ with us." He finished his story with a big smile as he thought about his mum and sister.

He looked up at the clouds for a long moment. "Thinking about it now, I wish I'd been less of a brat about it, you know. She just wanted us to know about something other than fighting. ' _There's more to life than war and violence, kids',_ she always used to say."

"Smart lady."

"Well, it worked, I guess. I wanted to make it up to her, make her happy and ..." He paused and looked a little nervous. "Don't laugh at me for this."

Katara's interest was instantly piqued. He was about to tell her something super embarrassing.

"I'm actually a really great tsungi horn player," he confessed, going bright red. "I played in my school orchestra and everything."

"Why would I laugh? Being able to play an instrument is great. I wish I could."

What was so embarrassing about playing an instrument? They didn't have many instruments in the Water Tribes. They were precious and any musician was seen as very skilled. This was another one of those misunderstandings because they'd grown up in such different places.

"It's a super dorky and nerdy instrument back home," Zuko explained, but he was smiling widely at her. He liked that she thought being able to play an instrument was cool. "But I can teach you how to play it if we ever come across one."

"I'd like that."

They kissed for a long time then. Katara pulled away to make a joke about horn players being able to do things with their tongues. Zuko went bright red, all flustered and embarrassed, but he seemed really pleased too, in an absolutely mortified kind of way.

"What about you?" he asked. "You always say your mother was brave and kind, but what else do you remember about her? What did she like?"

Katara's blood ran cold at such a simple question. She felt very put on the spot. Her mother had liked stewed sea prunes. That was all she knew. And she'd already told Zuko that. She couldn't remember big long anecdotes with musical punishment the way Zuko could. She wracked her brain for something else to say about her mother. There had been more to that wonderful woman than just being a brave, kind, sea-prune eater. But Katara couldn't think of anything!

"Katara?" his voice sounded far away.

There was a deafening cacophony going on in her head. Waves of pain and shame and grief were washing through her.

She was forgetting her own mother!

"Are you okay?" He sounded worried.

"Shut up!" she yelled, lashing out.

"What's wrong? What can I do?" He seemed taken aback by her rapid change in mood, but he didn't pull away, didn't leave her.

"Nothing! You can't do anything!" She pulled away and curled up into a small ball, hugging her knees to her chest with her back to him. "I can't remember my mum the way you remember yours!" she threw bitterly over her shoulder. Then she started crying.

A warm hand touched her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Katara," he said softly.

He started rubbing her back the way she liked, and apologising, and trying to help. It soothed the savage ice-wolf inside that was Katara's grief. She let him hug her then, snuggling into his warmth and breathing in his Zuko smell.

"It's just not fair," she mumbled. "You get to remember all this stuff, like being punished through song, but when I try to think about her it's all foggy."

"I only remember more 'cause I was older when my mum vanished. You were really little when your mum died. Does Sokka remember more? We could ask him."

"We don't really talk about her together," Katara said stiffly.

"Oh."

They were quiet for a long time, just holding each other. Katara started feeling a little ashamed of how she had acted, taking it out on him. But Zuko stayed with her. He didn't seem to mind that she got angry sometimes. There was something of a relief in that. She didn't have to hide how much she was hurting from him.

"I don't know if this will help," he said, "but sometimes when I was feeling sad, I would remember something Azula said."

"Azula?"

The statement knocked her out of her funk. She didn't know much about his sister; he didn't like to talk about her. But everything he had said had painted a vivid picture of this spiteful gremlin of a girl.

"I'd found her about to hurt this servant, not long after mum vanished, and I made her stop. She got so cross at me. She said, ' _I don't miss Mum that much, because you're still here making that same disapproving bitch face at me.'"_ He mimicked his sister's sharp, clipped tone of voice.

"How on earth would that help?"

That was a horrible thing for his sister to say. How could Zuko find comfort in that? Was this another one of those cultural differences?

"I just figured if I could do what mum did and try stop Azula from hurting people—that's what she meant by the disapproving bitch face—then it would be like my mum wasn't really gone, because the things she thought were important would still be happening. She thought it was important to treat people well. I thought at least I could still do that. I could play the tsungi horn and care about people and remember there was more to life than violence—you know, all the important things she tried to teach me. That would be my own way of honouring her ... even if she was gone."

Zuko swallowed. It was hard for him to talk about his mother's disappearance. In a way, their situations were opposites. Katara's memories of her mother were faded, but she knew exactly what had happened to her. Zuko could remember his mother clearly but had no idea what had become of her. They hadn't even been allowed to have a funeral and say goodbye, but Zuko had told Katara that he thought she was dead. Still, he didn't know for sure. He said that not knowing was the worst part.

"And I look at you and think your mother must have been amazing," he said, turning to her. "Even if you're only even doing a tiny bit of the things she taught you, your mum still would have been so strong and brave and smart and funny and so kind, because you're all those things."

Katara blushed and felt warmed right down to her soul.

"I think she would have been very forthright, you know. I bet she was the sort of lady who spoke her mind and wouldn't take crap from anyone," he said, looking at her so fondly, like Katara's tendency to say exactly what she was thinking was something he loved about her.

"She was," Katara agreed, smiling. "Bato said she could be very stubborn too."

"I don't doubt it."

Katara realised with a strange thrill that what he was saying did make sense. She remembered how much the other villagers in the South would say she was like her mother. They said it even over the smallest things, like the way Katara did her chores. " _Your stitches are so neat and accurate—just like Kya's."_ Her mother had liked things neat and tidy and done properly, and Katara did too. Her mother was in everything Katara did, because Katara carried her in her heart. Katara felt comforted by the idea.

She knew so many things she could tell Zuko about her mother all of a sudden.

"My dad said she had the patience and kindness of a protector spirit, but if you ever crossed her, she'd be like a howling snowstorm, but it would never last very long. I remember once she'd had this argument with Bato over something trivial, but she was so cross. Then when she heard he'd been hurt during the hunt, she spent all day making his favourite foods and things that would help him feel better. She said she'd never turn her back on people who needed her."

He smiled at her.

"I remember thinking about that before I got myself thrown in prison for those earthbenders," Katara confessed.

He frowned.

Zuko hadn't liked that story at all when she had told him. He'd been beside himself at the idea that she had gotten herself thrown in a Fire Nation Prison _on purpose._ He went on extensively about how dangerous it was. He had grumbled about how his uncle always went on about how Zuko was reckless, but what Katara did had been _nuts._

The irony of Zuko, of all people, counselling her against being reckless was not lost on Katara. They'd had a small squabble that had ended with Zuko declaring that he just _hated_ the thought of anything bad happening to her. Katara had replied that she _hated_ the thought of anything bad happening to him _more_ —no returns, so there! Zuko had been indignant.

Katara remembered thinking _what even is this squabble?_ They were grumbling about feeling ridiculously protective of each other. She'd laughed to herself and pointed this out. They'd made up very quickly after that. Zuko had promised her he would do "less stupid shit" (the list of reckless things Zuko had done that Katara knew about was significantly longer, so it all came under the category of stupid shit), but only if she would promise to never get herself deliberately thrown in a Fire Nation Prison again, no matter how good-looking she found the earthbender prisoners!

Ah, there had probably also been an element of jealousy in Zuko's anger over her prison story. She had talked a bit about how Haru had been cute. But she hadn't sassed him for that. She'd simply agreed because it seemed like a fair compromise.

"She loved stewed sea prunes," Katara continued, wanting to tell him everything about her mother, even the things she'd said before. Zuko didn't seem to mind at all. "They were her favourite. At home, I used to make them every time I felt sad about her. There was one winter, during the days of darkness, where we ate nothing but stewed sea prunes for two weeks straight."

"What do they taste like?"

"Comforting," Katara said simply.

They made it differently in the North and it never tasted the same. She missed the salty tang of southern style sea prunes.

"I'll make them for you if we ever get the ingredients," she offered. When they left the North, their first stop in the Earth Kingdom should be a market where they could buy a tsungi horn and stewed sea prune ingredients.

"I've never eaten comforting-flavoured food before," Zuko said with a smile.

"Yes, you have."

He looked at her in confusion.

"You remember that fortune teller in Makapu and how you stormed away from me? You were so sad and angry. I didn't know you well then. I didn't know what to do, and I just thought _let's eat something comforting._ "

"You offered to get me a papaya," he said after a beat.

"Yeah, and you looked at me like I'd grown a second head!"

"Only because I thought you were the weirdest girl I had ever met."

"Oh, so I'm _weird_ now? Thanks a bunch!"

"No, not like that!" Zuko said quickly. He swore under his breath, then tried to 'make it better'. "I didn't mean it in a bad way. Just …"

Katara wasn't that offended, but she seemed to have set off a cascade of awkwardness. He was such an awkward lummox sometimes, but she loved him for it. He sometimes said things unthinkingly, but she infinitely preferred that to Jet's easy, smarmy charm. All Jet's words had been so calculated. She liked that Zuko was honest.

Katara giggled and kissed him soundly, which stopped the awkward flood of words. She was surprised at how full and light her heart felt after being so sad about her mother only a little while ago. Zuko had filled her with comfort and joy even better than stewed sea prunes did. She held him in her arms and thought that she'd never loved anyone more.

She didn't say it to him then. She was _saving_ saying it. She wanted it to be super meaningful and special. She thought saying it on a random Wednesday night after practising under the stars would make those words less important, because it was such a mundane, everyday setting. She wanted to be sure he would say it back, too.

She wasn't saying it first and then not having him say it back!

-0-

Katara looked around the swamp. Back during those nights in the Spirit Oasis, she had often thought about her future with Zuko.

She wished she'd been a little braver now and told him that she loved him.

Huu had said the swamp showed you the people you loved, the people you lost. She loved and lost her mother, but she had been missing her mother for so long that it had just become a part of her. Loving and missing Zuko was so raw and fresh and painful. She often caught herself thinking about him and getting her feelings all tangled up. She touched the knife at her waist and wondered why she hadn't seen him in the fog.

Why had the swamp only showed her the fragment of her mother?

She felt strangely grateful. She would give anything to see him again, but not like _that._ If she were to see him silent and disappearing into the fog, it would have broken her heart all over again.

If she saw him again, she wanted it to be real.

-0-

Every night Zuko dreamed of the sea. It had been happening since the Ocean Spirit had given him a massive headache. Uncle had started talking about subconscious inner-selves discovering subconscious truths subconsciously when Zuko had told him. Uncle's explanation had given Zuko an even bigger headache. Rather than questioning or fighting it, Zuko had just accepted it. He was used to having the most horrible nightmares full of fire, pain and mob violence. So what if he'd only dream about the ocean from now on. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing

So the disgusting swamp dream was a huge surprise.

It was one of those weird dreams where Zuko knew he was dreaming. Uncle said dreams were just the mind's way of reshaping what had been experienced, taking bits from the real world and shaking them up, but Zuko had never been in a swamp like this. He looked around disdainfully. _Urgh._ This place was filthy and unhygienic. He would have gone fifty miles out of his way to avoid a place like this.

It was horribly humid, even for Zuko who knew what monsoon season in the Fire Nation felt like. Everything was sticky or slimy or moist. It seemed like the fog was alive, an ominous cloud of different, unsettling gases. It creeped him out.

Then he heard it. The faint sound of someone crying. It sounded like Katara. He ran through the mist, calling her name. The crying stopped abruptly.

"Zuko?"

She was nearby. He just had to find her in the dense fog. He reached out, but he could hardly see his hands in front of his face. Still, he kept trying. He was calling for her. She was calling for him. She was so close!

After what felt like an age of reaching out blindly and calling for each other, his hand brushed hers. He held on to her wrist and she came into his arms.

"You're here," she exclaimed, squeezing him hard. "You're really here."

It seemed so real. She felt warm when he held her tightly. He could feel her heartbeat and smell her hair. What _was_ this dream? Still, dream or not, he had something to say to her.

"Katara, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I—"

"No, I'm more sorry. I should never have—"

This was ridiculous. He was the one who had fucked up. She shouldn't be apologising.

"No, _I'm_ more sorry _._ I should never have—"

But once again she argued over the top of his apology. They ended up having a little squabble about who was sorrier, which culminated in Zuko grumbling, "But I tried to take Aang in the middle of the battle, knowing that he was the only chance for the Northern Water Tribe! That is way worse!"

"Well, I whacked you with an iceberg and locked you in the cannibalistic frozen pit."

 _Huh?_

That pulled Zuko up short. Why was she bringing up cannibals? She hated any and all association of the Water Tribes and cannibalism. Zuko asked and got an explanation from Katara. To be fair, he had _asked,_ and he was glad that she was honest with him, but still. It was a lot to take in.

Fucking Pakku! That guy was a dick!

He remembered the voices in the caverns and the feeling of being watched, and shuddered. So the Water Tribe had in fact eaten people? Actually no, they hadn't. It had been their prisoners who had eaten each other. Holy balls, some of those prisoners were Fire Nation. The Fire Nation had really been the ones who had eaten people! _His_ people were the people-eaters!

"Don't freak out," she said quickly.

"No, I'm not freaking out," he said quickly, his voice unnaturally high pitched. "You locked me in a hellhole full of cannibalistic ghosts. That's fine."

She looked guilty.

"No, don't feel bad. I deserved it. I mean, I really had it coming after what I did."

"No. You didn't. I really am sorry." She sounded wretched.

He looked down at her. What he had done had been so much worse, and he didn't feel like he deserved her forgiveness—certainly not her apology. But he'd already made a mess of it when he had tried to say that. So, instead he just took her face in his hands and waited for her to look at him.

"It's okay," he murmured. "We're together now. It's okay."

It was true. If he had Katara with him, everything was okay again. He leaned down and kissed her tenderly on the lips. He wanted to show her that he had never been angry at her. She'd always seemed to understand what he meant, even when he didn't have the words. She clung to him and kissed him back.

"I miss you so much," Zuko whispered when they broke apart.

"I miss you too." She held him closer.

"How are Sokka and Aang?" he asked after a long moment, leaning his head on hers. She fit perfectly under the crook of his neck.

"Sokka is being the super logical leader again. I'm letting him have it, though, because he's still sad about Yue, even though he's trying to pretend he isn't."

"What happened to Yue?"

"She turned into the moon," Katara replied flatly.

"What? Seriously? People can do that?"

Zuko was incredulous and pulled away from her in surprise. Katara told him what had happened, and he listened in dismay. He didn't know what to say. It was beyond tragic. That was really rough for Sokka.

"How's Aang?" Zuko asked after another few moments.

"He's fine," Katara said, but her voice was hesitant and wary.

"That sounds convincing."

"I'm really worried about him." She took a moment to collect her thoughts before she explained. "We were in Omashu to get Bumi. For Aang, it's only been a few months since he and Bumi were the same age and racing the mail chutes together. But Bumi is _so old_ now. Aang found out Kuzon lived into his nineties and had this big, full life. He did all that while Aang was sleeping, and now he's been dead for ages. Everyone Aang knew is gone except Bumi. He's thinking on it a lot. I think he's feeling lonely."

Zuko knew he would be. He still remembered Aang talking to him about needing people that first day they were imprisoned together. Poor Aang. Aang had been there for him when Zuko had felt like his world was ending. Aang made Zuko feel like he had someone who would always be on his side. Zuko wished there was something he could do for Aang in return, something to make him feel less alone.

"He's talking about not wanting to lose any more of his people and coming to find you. Where are you?" Katara asked quietly.

"I don't know," Zuko answered, taken aback by the realisation and a little ashamed. It was the one thing he could have done, and he'd dropped the ball.

"How can you not know? You knew all the navigation stars. You said you always liked knowing where you were."

It had been true. He'd spent so long studying the maps that he felt like he knew them like the back of his hand. Knowing where he was had been reassuring on the _Wani_. It made it easier to plan where he would go next. But more than that, it made him feel safe knowing that he could point to a spot on a map and say to himself _I am here._ Even when he was travelling up the coast with Sokka, Aang and Katara, he had been able to look at the stars and the landforms, and he had always roughly known where he was.

But there hadn't seemed much point in looking at stars and landmarks recently. He had no idea where he was going. He had nothing to hope for and no goal or destination in mind. He'd just handed the maps over to his uncle and stopped asking questions. He had let his uncle make all the choices.

"I don't know any more," he said, trying to explain how lost and listless he felt. "I stopped caring. I'm just following my uncle now."

Katara looked concerned.

"We're in some little shithole Earth Kingdom village," he offered, hoping that giving her more information would make her look less worried. "He's meeting up with a Flower Friend here. He seems to have some kind of plan."

"Flower Friend?" She wrinkled her nose in confusion.

Zuko explained all that he knew about the Flower Friends.

"You really think Aunt Wu is a Flower Friend?" Katara said, sounding amused.

He smiled widely back at her. "You were right. She really did _know things_."

He had missed this. Just talking with her and not feeling misunderstood warmed his heart.

"Where are you?" he asked. "Maybe I can come find you?"

"It's some kind of sacred, magic swamp full of fog. I'm not sure where. Aang heard it calling to him, and it sucked us down."

"Oh. Obviously. A magic swamp."

"It is magic, you lummox!" She gave him a little playful shove, but then her face got serious. "It shows you visions ... I saw my mother," she added in a quiet voice, looking so heartbreakingly sad.

"You what? Are you okay?"

She shook her head.

Zuko felt worried now. He knew the whole story of what had happened to her mother and how Katara had never really gotten over it. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close, rubbing her back in soothing circles the way she liked. She snuggled into him and they stayed like that for a long moment, but then she pulled away a little to look at him.

"It was so horrible," she confessed in a small voice. "I kept chasing after her, but I couldn't ever see her face. She kept turning away from me. I couldn't talk to her. It was like she was there, but not really there at the same time." She laid her hands against his chest, feeling for a heartbeat. It was like she was checking he was really there. "It wasn't like this," she said softly, sounding awed. "You feel real."

"You feel real too."

"The swampbenders say the swamp shows us people we ..." She paused for a few moments, seemingly unsure how to finish the sentence." It shows us people we miss. I miss you so much, and now you're here, but I don't know if this is real. Maybe you're just a figment of my imagination."

She sounded sad. Zuko felt the same. He pulled her closer.

"I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming," Zuko said, "so maybe you're my figment."

"Well, I said it first, so you have to be my figment."

"I thought I was your lummox."

"You're that too," Katara said with an amused little smile.

"What's a lummox anyway?" he asked quietly. He might never get another chance.

"A lummox is a tall, awkward person. It suits you."

Awkward? She thought he was awkward? It was _true,_ but it still didn't seem very flattering if it was going to be her pet name for him. Should he be offended? He wasn't sure. He wasn't going to get time to argue about this with her, though. He could feel the call of the sun deep in his bones.

"I can feel the sun rising. I think I'll wake up soon," he told her, wanting to give her some warning.

He didn't know what was going to happen when he woke up. Would she be left on her own in this gross swamp until she woke up too? Or maybe she really was a figment of his imagination and would fade away with the dream? Either way, Zuko was feeling heartbroken. He didn't want to leave her. He didn't want this dream to end. He just wanted more time with her.

But dreams always ended, and he always woke with the rising sun. He didn't have much longer here. With what little time he had left, he leaned down to kiss her properly, trying to pour all his love and longing into the kiss. She'd always teased him for being too tall for her, but he'd gotten much better at reading when she wanted him to lean down and kiss her. Even in his dream, all those little details about her were still the same.

"Bye, Figment," he whispered. She might have said it _first,_ but he was going to say it _last._

"Bye, Lummox."

Light filled the dream world and he woke up.

-0-

Zuko had acquired a bad habit.

Thieving.

He'd sneak away at night and fight with arseholes he'd seen being rude or unkind. He would steal from rich, arrogant merchants, rifle through their belongings, then drop whatever he'd pilfered into the supplies. He had collected a vast assortment of oddments this way, but acted like he didn't know anything about them the next morning.

Iroh was patient, but he found that Zuko's pretence that the cast iron teapot had just appeared by magic or had been part of their supplies the whole time to be most frustrating. Iroh knew all their tea supplies, thank you very much _._

Zuko had never been a good liar, but lack of skill did not lessen the frequency of the lies he was currently telling Iroh.

"These Dual Daos? Oh, I just found them on the ground."

"I just found all this money on the ground."

"Oh, those rare tea blends? Yeah, they were on the ground too."

"Um, I know you like Pai Sho, and I saw these tiles … on the ground."

Iroh just wanted to talk to him about it. Or at least tell him to get a new line. "The ground" was not a one-stop shop. That wasn't fooling anyone. Eventually, in a rare display of sarcasm, Iroh stated that he now thought the Ground Spirit loved Zuko more than the Ocean Spirit, because the Ground Spirit was blessing him with so many "gifts". It annoyed his nephew to no end, but thankfully the painfully transparent lies about finding things on the ground ceased.

Zuko was still refusing to even acknowledge his bad habit. Now he would feign deafness whenever Iroh brought it up. He seemed to like sneaking away and being secretive. Perhaps this was retaliation for all the secrets Iroh had been keeping. Spirits, other teenagers rebelled by smoking or drinking too much firewhiskey, not by becoming a masked vigilante.

Perhaps this wasn't just ordinary teenage rebellion.

Perhaps after so long being used for combat training against master waterbenders all day, every day, his nephew needed a fight as a kind of physical release. At least he was choosing to release this energy at local thugs.

Perhaps Zuko was doing it to appease his own sense of honour. Iroh knew that it was hard for his nephew at the moment to see that there was any fairness in the world. Maybe serving up his own brand of justice to dishonourable people was his way of balancing out the scales.

Iroh didn't want Zuko falling foul of the local earthbending militias in the towns, but he could also see that beating up arseholes was the only thing Zuko seemed to have any enthusiasm for at the moment.

It worried Iroh endlessly. Zuko had always been prone to crankiness, and Iroh had been used to that. There used to be an energy and passion behind his nephew's moods. He had been dramatically, extravagantly grumpy on the _Wani_. But this was different. Now he was a kind of listless, miserable, unenthusiastic sort of grumpy.

Initially, Iroh had tried to involve him in the planning. Zuko had always replied, "I don't care. You decide."

And it was true. Zuko didn't care about what they ate for dinner, which towns they visited, which route they would take, or their ultimate destination. Zuko was obviously dispirited, dejected and directionless. Most of the agents would even comment on it as Zuko sulked around moodily in the background like a particularly tragic and sullen giraffe-alpaca. They would ask variations on "What's with the gloomy, gangly kid? What's wrong with the sad giraffe-alpaca?"

"He's just suffered his first break up," Iroh would say, trying to make light of it. He would always answer the most obvious thing to make a teenage boy this depressed. His agents would smile knowingly and trade a few stories about how to cheer up a youngster in that unfortunate situation. Iroh even tried a few of their suggestions, but nothing worked.

One morning his nephew had been smiling in his sleep. Zuko had woken up surprisingly chipper. He had asked where they were and what Uncle's plans were. He seemed interested for the first time in a long time. Iroh had felt glad. Perhaps they were finally turning a corner.

Strangely, Zuko kept asking about swamps in the Earth Kingdom. Iroh indulged him. The largest swamp was the Foggy Swamp. It was said to be a very spiritual place. But it was more than two months hike to get there, even with Jasmine. That glimmer of his nephew's old spark faded quickly then. His mood changed abruptly.

This much sadness over a swamp's location?

Iroh always _tried,_ but sometimes he didn't understand his nephew at all. Iroh wanted to cheer him up. He had been treading gently around the subject for long enough. Now it was time to be direct. He thought of all the things that he knew weighed on his nephew and what proverbs might best lighten their burden.

"Listen, Zuko, I know our situation has changed drastically …"

He knew his nephew had suffered many blows recently. The loss of any chance of returning home, the arrival of his sister, the realisation that his father hated him, not to mention everything that had befallen Zuko when he had been in the Northern Water Tribe, was enough to make any man despair.

Now they were living in the woods as vagrants and posing as beggars, and Iroh knew Zuko found this humiliating. It was also a huge adjustment. Ozai had certainly never spoiled him, but Zuko had still been brought up as royalty and was used to finer things. But there was honour in a simple, honest and humble life. They could live well without silk sheets. They could make a good life for themselves, but Zuko needed to find some hope within himself and believe in the possibility of a better future.

"Hope is something you give yourself," Iroh concluded.

Zuko silently absorbed what Iroh had said. He looked lost in thought. That was understandable. It had been a long speech. It was one of Iroh's better speeches, or so he thought. There had been lots of pearls of wisdom.

"Why is it important to you that I have hope?" Zuko asked slowly, after a long moment.

It was such a simple question, but Iroh didn't have a proper answer. Hope was important because _it was._

"Our situation is hopeless, Uncle!" Zuko declared angrily, standing up. "Making a better life for ourselves—what's your plan there?" It sounded like an accusation.

"Well, I feel that we need to move further inland. I had been planning on Omashu, but that has fallen to the Fire Nation and is now called New Ozai."

Zuko wrinkled his nose in distaste. Iroh was inclined to agree. His foolish, vain younger brother had renamed many things after himself, but to name the famous city was so crude. Had Ozai always been this _tacky?_

"I am thinking now that Ba Sing Se might provide us with an ideal refuge. It is unconquerable and we will be safe from the Fire Nation there."

"And then what?"

"Then ...well, then we will get jobs and lay low," Iroh answered.

"And then what?"

"Well, we will build a new life for ourselves in the city."

"And then what?"

"And then _whatever you want,_ my boy!" Iroh rumbled, standing up.

Zuko looked a little shocked at Iroh's tone.

Iroh walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "You can live your life the way you want."

"Starting all over again in some Earth Kingdom city isn't the life I wanted, Uncle," Zuko said sadly.

"What do you want, Zuko?"

"It doesn't matter. I think it's better to want nothing … then you don't get hurt when weird or unexpected shit happens," he added, so softly Iroh almost didn't hear him.

"Life often happens in ways we cannot expect, but the unexpected is nothing to dread. Rather than fighting the tides, we must learn to adjust our sails."

Zuko blinked twice and looked supremely unimpressed at the proverb. He promptly started to pack their belongings. They set off sometime later on Jasmine.

When they ran into Colonel Mongke and the other Rough Rhinos, Iroh was given something else to worry about.

It wasn't dealing with the mercenary thugs. (He and Zuko had enough talent between them to handle that.) It was then Iroh noticed that Zuko was relying mostly on non-bending fighting techniques. Zuko was good at ninjutsu, but it seemed a curious choice considering who he was fighting. Then Mongke fired a blast at him, and Zuko was almost unable to block it. That struck Iroh as very strange. Zuko had been very dedicated to learning defensive tactics in those first few months on the _Wani_. It had been the first thing he had completely mastered, though Iroh hadn't told him so at the time.

When they had settled in for the evening, Iroh asked Zuko to make the fire. It was a faint blast, as he suspected. Zuko confessed he'd been noticing that his inner fire had been feeling smaller for a while. He had been scared, but hadn't said anything until directly challenged. Saying his worries out loud seemed to make them more real for his nephew, so he often avoided this. Zuko thought his fire was leaving him and it had been distressing him a great deal, while Iroh had been oblivious to this concern.

"Soon, I really will have nothing left," Zuko said bitterly, throwing a twig onto the blaze.

"No, you will always be a firebender. Nothing can take your bending from you. I understand what is happening. Let me explain..."

Iroh had seen it happen before, just not in one so young. Fire was the element of willpower and was closely linked to the emotions. Occasionally, if a firebender experienced heartbreak or a life-changing loss, if they lost all motivation and drive, their inner fire would weaken as a result. Iroh had felt it himself after the huge hole of grief he had fallen into when he had lost Lu Ten. He had been too sad to summon a spark.

Anger had been the sole source of Zuko's fire before. It was how all children were taught to bend in the capital. Sozin style needed to be fuelled by rage and hatred. Indeed, the Sozin style moves that drew on hatred had always been difficult for his nephew. Zuko had a quick temper, so anger came easily, but he never held a grudge for long. He didn't seem to hate anyone.

Zuko would need to find something else to draw his fire from, something brighter and more enduring than hatred and rage. For Iroh, it had been the White Lotus and the idea of working to restore balance, but Zuko was still steadfast in his opposition to joining them. Iroh wasn't sure what mattered to Zuko on a deep spiritual level. Only Zuko could discover that. So Iroh gave him the best advice he could.

"Zuko, if you want to restore your fire, it is time you asked yourself the big questions. Who are you and what do you want from life?"

-0-

Sokka had it right. Chin was by far the very worst town they had ever been to. Aang's unfried dough wasn't agreeing with him and he tossed and turned in his sleep. He told himself it was the dough, not the gnawing realisation that when the people of Chin criticised him for being a murderer, they may have had a point.

He dreamed of Kyoshi. They were sitting in the amphitheatre together, watching the sunset over the ocean. Aang could tell this wasn't just an ordinary dream. It was an Avatar dream. It seemed like Kyoshi wanted to talk to him, but she was trying to make him nervous with her unnerving stare first.

"You are judging me, Avatar Aang, for what I did to save my people. But I ask you this, what do you think would have happened if I had not acted?" Her voice sounded echoing, like it was a hundred different people. All his past lives where there behind her.

"I don't know," Aang replied.

"Chin would have murdered hundreds of my people. If I had not acted, not stopped him, I would have been valuing his life over theirs," Kyoshi said simply. "If I had not done my duty, the world would have been subjected to Chin's brand of just-us."

This wasn't anything he hadn't heard before. It was similar to the logic Sokka used whenever he tried to cheer Aang up about what he called the "blob monster incident". _It was us or them, Aang,_ Sokka would say. But Aang didn't think it was that simple. He had been raised to see all life as sacred. The Ocean Spirit didn't share this view ... and Aang still felt guilty.

Still, Kyoshi had a point. Just-us hadn't been a good basis for a legal system. Aang could see why one person deciding the fate of another, no matter the evidence or what anybody else said, would be the chosen justice system of a tyrant.

"Avatar Aang, there are no easy choices in war," Kyoshi stated flatly, her voice solemn and grave. "But choose you must."

"I don't know how to make these kinds of choices. It feels like whatever I do is wrong," Aang said in a small voice.

"Do you think it was wrong to merge with the Ocean Spirit?"

 _Yes._ All those Fire Nation soldiers were dead now because of what he did.

 _No._ The Northern Water Tribe had survived intact because of what he did.

"I don't want people to think I'm a murderer," Aang confessed as he looked towards the ocean.

He didn't want to _be_ a murderer either, but the Ocean Spirit had decided that for him. Maybe it was fine for Kyoshi. She seemed to enjoy being formidable, mysterious and stern. It didn't bother her at all that people in Chin hated her. But Aang knew it would bother him. He wanted people to like him. He didn't want to be hated. He knew Kyoshi would think that was a foolish and vain reason.

"I'd never willingly take a life," Aang said, mostly because that was a better reason. It was also true.

"Then remain true to that. Never take life if you can avoid it," Kyoshi said evenly.

Aang breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn't gotten cross at him.

"But understand this, Avatar Aang: sometimes the Avatar must take action to maintain the balance."

That was the whole problem. Everyone told him what the Avatar should do, could do, was meant to do, and no one ever considered what Aang wanted to do. It never occurred to anyone that Aang hadn't even wanted to be the Avatar in the first place. He just wanted to be a normal kid.

"Can you take it back, the Avatar powers? Choose someone else," Aang pleaded suddenly.

"No, Aang. That is not how it works," Kyoshi said, but her voice was softer.

The glow faded, and Aang looked into her eyes for the first time properly. They were wise and kind.

"I know how you struggle with being the Avatar. I did too. But each Avatar is chosen because they are perfect for their time. You are the Avatar for this time, and I am sorry the burden of this terrible war has fallen to you. Your kindness and compassion must be needed to restore the balance. You will see in time, you were always meant to be the Avatar. Take heart, young Aang. The key to a lasting peace is within you."

She put her arm on his shoulder in a way that reminded him of Katara. Katara always used to give him a hug when he was upset about being the Avatar.

"Gaoling," Kyoshi said suddenly, taking her hand away.

"What?" Aang asked in surprise at her outburst.

"Strictly speaking, we are not meant to interfere. But you are on a tight schedule and I see no harm in giving you a little clue. If you a seeking the one who listens to the earth, it would be smart to check out Gaoling." She winked.

-0-

Notes:

One squillion thanks to the incredible genius that is Boogum. Her beta-ing and her writing are a gift! One million thanks to everyone who leaves feedback, it fires my creative engines so to speak.

This chapter covers the swamp to the start of the blind bandit. I'm skipping over Avatar Day a little bit. Not much there changed.

So the swamp shows you people you love, irrespective of time (ie Aang seeing Toph in the swamp before meeting her. Hands down, I thought they were foreshadowing eventual Taang and I was so pleased. Much older Toph and Aang could actually be so good for each other. Aang needs grounding and Toph needs someone to help smooth those super abrasive and defensive edges and brave enough to climb over her defensive walls.)

Katara and Zuko first bonded about their mothers and I wanted to elaborate on a conversation about that, but I couldn't really find a place for it in book one. I felt like it would be perfect here as a flashback. Mostly because the swamp brings up a lot of issues for Katara, but also because by this point, I missed writing my drama llamas together.

Zuko's mum: So I think Ursa _tried._ However, I think she would have enjoyed Zuko's company more. Hands down that woman loved both those kids, but one of them was infinitely easier to be around than the other. She probably concentrated on teaching Zuko more, because he was receptive. Whereas I think Azula got more scoldings from her mother.

The flipside of this, and goodness have I seen it countless times, is that when there are two or more children, and one is very challenging – the "good one" is put under enormous pressure to always be "good", because the adults don't want to deal with two difficult ones. I think that Ursa would have been quick to correct any behaviour Zuko showed that she didn't like. She would have done this lovingly, but she would have still done it, because she needed one "good" and "manageable" kid.

I am not at all with the Azula apologists who blame Ursa for 'withholding affection' and that's why Azula is the way she is. In the flashback we see Ursa scolding Azula a lot and that is because Azula's behaviour is deserving of a scolding. Ursa is trying to set boundaries. Azula is not an easy kid to raise right, but lordy is that woman _trying._ Azula is a product of her environment while also being responsible for herself and her choices.

I think Azula loves Zuko and her mother, deep down, in one big, hellish tangled ball of complicated feelings – which I will delve into when we get to it. Katara sees them as complete opposites, because in her mind Zuko = _good, friend_ and Azula = _evil gremlin_. She doesn't want to see any similarity between them – but those two have more than a nose in common.

I can see Ursa trying to give them a more rounded knowledge of the world and an appreciation of the things she loved, like music. I chose tacky dramatic plays – because my goodness, both Zuko and Azula are ridiculously dramatic. I hate the comics and pretend they don't exist. I think rather than Ursa being a common actress, she was a noblewoman who was just really into the theatre. Zuko and Azula both learned that being super dramatic got their mother's attention and brought her amusement.

I also think the Ember Island Players were always that terrible.

Anyway, Zuko can remember a lot more fine detail about his mother, purely by virtue of being older before she vanished. Katara was young when her mother died. She was what? Seven? How much can the average person remember from when they were seven? I think this is why Katara couldn't interact with the vision of her mother more completely and why there was no sound/dialogue between them. She doesn't exactly remember what her mother's voice sounded like.

It's also really clear to me that Katara and Sokka don't really talk about her together. Katara brings her mother up will all and sundry random dudes, but Sokka looks really taken aback whenever she brings up Kya around him. I can't even say it's because it's old grief, as Katara is still hurting. My best guess is that as Katara assumed a more motherly role in Sokka's life, they talked about Kya less. Tragically, I think the thing Katara remembers the most clearly about her mother is how her mother died, because it was traumatically burned on her memory. Poor girl.

So the shared dream – give me this tacky trope lovely readers. I know, I know. It is tacky. But ATLA had gifted me a magic "everything is connected" tree and I am going to use it. That's why I had Zuko explicitly mention that he was sleeping under an banyan tree last chapter – because the trees are connected and...the trees know they miss each other and give them a dream hook-up, and...spiritual mumbo-jumbo, etc. Just give me this tacky, romantic trope.

So Zuko has given up/lost nearly everything. He's had to completely give up his identity, and his quest and everything he defined himself by. It just makes sense that his bending would be affected. So I have brought his season three storyline forward. Iroh's wisdom from under lake Lagoai is also brought forward. So Zuko will be on a quest to find what really matters.

The thieving vigilante bit: I think this was an important milestone for Zuko, and while he didn't steal Song's ostrich horse in the last chapter, I still think he needs to get his vigilante on and explore some of his lower impulses. He's low-key ashamed of it (because his mama raised him better than to be a common thief, and that is why he is always lying to Iroh), but he is learning a lot about himself through it.

So swamps typically symbolise low points in character's journeys and places where a hard truth is learned, or properly understood. Poor Zuko is getting pretty close to rock bottom at this point. I think it would make sense that he would resist his Uncle's hopeful musings – because he has no hope and he thinks there is no point in being optimistic. There really isn't much more left for him to lose. Soon we will see Zuko beginning to build himself back up, from scratch, away from his abusive environment and discovering things that really matter to him. He'll regain his sense of identity and purpose away from the terrible influence of his father and sister.

Honest Confession time: I think Yang Chen and Kyoshi were the bomb, and also infinitely better at being the Avatar than Roku and Kuruk. Both those women were so competent. If Aang can commune with his past lives, Kyoshi and Yang Chen would serve him much better as mentors. Because, hands down, Roku could have made _life, the universe and everything_ one thousand times easier for Aang if he had just had the gonads to do his duty. Aang is very different from Kyoshi, but goodness does she have wisdom for him. I didn't like how he dismissed her in Sozin's comet. I thought it was a bit disrespectful to be honest.

If Aany only draws wisdom from one source (Roku) it becomes rigid and stale. Aang needs to learn from his other past lives. I wanted Aang and Kyoshi to have a conversation, and get to hash out their differences and come to understand each other better. I wanted Aang to see the human side of Kyoshi, and her to thaw a little towards Aang and give him a break and encourage him.

When Aang confesses he didn't want to be the Avatar, I think Kyoshi would have known exactly how that feels. It's a pretty mixed blessing being the avatar. Anyway, I've always wanted to write a more philosophical conversation between those two, and so I am indulging myself a bit here, but I hope you enjoyed it.

Next Chapter: TOPH! (she needs the caps).


	5. Zuko Alone

Toph was a total and complete sarcastic jerk!

Sokka never knew there could be so much sass and violence contained in one tiny person. Sokka liked that about her. He'd thought someone who listened and waited would be someone boring, but Toph was great.

Katara had initially been glad to have another girl in the group, but Toph wasn't like any girl Sokka had ever met before. She spat. She liked being dirty. She would shove bison hair into her armpits for a stupid joke. Aang was already laughing with her, and it was nice to see that kid laugh properly again.

Sokka was sure Toph was going to fit right in.

Sokka just wished she was a little less standoffish, but it made sense that she was. She had obviously been spoiled rotten and had never interacted with people her own age before. She'd said she'd never had a proper friend, and it _really showed._

The only people outside her family and servants she'd ever really spoken with were a lot of earth rumble fighters. That _showed_ too.

Toph told Sokka that she hadn't hung out with them or been friends with them either. She also said if Sokka asked about them one more time, she was going to crack his nuts like they were pebbles. (Sokka had asked one too many times if she could get him a proper copy of the Boulder's autograph and Toph had gotten pissed off.)

Toph didn't seem to know how to relax around them.

She didn't want to swap stories over their fire, or share their food, or do anything but isolate herself in her own rock tent. The first night they camped, she set up her tent as far as possible from them. She always muttered that she didn't need any help and she was going to carry her own weight. It was like she was afraid they were going to send her an itemised bill or something if she let them do even the tiniest thing for her. She got really pissed off when they tried to help her or include her.

She didn't really get the friends helping each other thing.

Sokka wasn't worried. He was sure it would all work itself out. They just needed to give her more time to get comfortable around them. Zuko hadn't understood the friends thing either at the start and eventually he got it.

But Katara could never leave well alone. She had been very accommodating initially and had been trying to make Toph feel at home. However, she did this by giving Toph a chore with one of them. Sokka knew that this was how Katara showed friendship and made people feel included. To be fair, cooking with Katara had certainly made Zuko relax around them.

But Toph wasn't Zuko.

Toph had rebuffed all her overtures of friendship. She acted like every conversation with Katara was the banter before an earth rumble fight. Sokka's instincts told him a real fight was going to break out soon, and his instincts had never been wrong.

-0-

It had been something so innocuous that started off their argument. Uncle had needed Zuko to wait outside again because he wasn't a Flower Friend, and Zuko had made a mean, sarcastic comment. Uncle had sighed patiently and asked Zuko to do the mediation exercises, because they might help him figure out what mattered to him.

But Zuko had been feeling like nothing mattered for a while.

Everything in his life was a huge pile of _on fire garbage._ Everyone back home thought he was dead from being eaten! He was a fugitive for super-mega-treason! He had no future. He was just a common thief now. He was losing his bending. He'd lost Katara forever.

Mediating wasn't going to help any of that.

Shouting hadn't helped either, but it felt good to let it out.

Then Uncle pointed out that Zuko needed to look for wisdom within himself, and Zuko lost it. Zuko didn't think he had any wisdom within himself—that was the whole fucking point! The root of all his problems was that he was _stupid,_ just like Azula always said he was.

He couldn't figure out what mattered to him enough to turn his bending back on at full strength, and he was sure his uncle knew exactly what he needed to do, but Uncle was instead choosing to be cryptic and drown Zuko in proverbs while simultaneously lying to him and covering up whatever shady deals the Flower Friends were up to. Zuko had gathered that they must have engaged in some less than legal acts. Why else would they need all the secrecy? Uncle was doing all this shit and still would periodically take pot-shots at Zuko for the stealing. Then he'd talk obliquely about strategy though proverbs.

It was driving Zuko crazy.

Uncle was a strategist. He did everything deliberately. He'd been trying to teach Zuko, but Zuko was still prone to _just reacting,_ evidently. There had been so many deliberate lies. Zuko was sick and tired of pretending it didn't bother him. What happened next was a pure knee-jerk reaction.

"What was the strategy when you lied to me?" Zuko asked directly. His Uncle would have his reasons, and Zuko found he wanted to know exactly what they were.

"I did it to protect you," Uncle said, sounding a little taken aback.

"Why? Is it because you think I can't handle it? Because you think I'm stupid, too? I'm not some dumb kid anymore!"

"Zuko, I know you are angry now, but it is going to be okay. I promise you."

Uncle still sounded so spirits-damned calm. Uncle's tranquillity always made Zuko feel like he was the unreasonable one, but he couldn't help feeling the way he did.

"No, it's not okay!" Zuko thundered. "You're all I have left in the whole world, and you lied to me!"

He hopped on Jasmine and sped away at full gallop, leaving his uncle in front of his Flower Friend's house and not caring which direction he went.

Uncle would be alright. He was surrounded by friends, but Zuko had nobody else. Not anymore. He missed Katara. He missed Sokka. He missed Aang. He missed his old life. He missed sitting around the campfire with them in the evenings. Hell, he even missed being a prisoner of war up North, because at least his days had been simple and meaningful then. He'd had Katara with him every night, and Aang and Sokka to joke around with, and Yugoda to take care of him.

He'd never be able to find them again and they wouldn't want to see him even if he did. Sure, the Katara in his dream had said she forgave him and missed him, and that had warmed Zuko's heart for a brief moment.

He shook that thought off. It had just been a dream. He was thinking about her all the time. It made sense that he'd dream about her too. But good dreams never came true, not for him.

Zuko just wanted to get away. He got so far away that he became a bit lost. Zuko knew he'd fucked up real bad. He knew the coastal regions of the Earth Kingdom very well, but he was completely unfamiliar with the flat plains. After a few hungry days, he ended up in another dusty little shithole of a town.

He had run out of money, so he took a job working for a family. They had a kid, gap-toothed and curious, who invited him home after Zuko stood up for him against some thugs. The dad had a few odd jobs that needed doing. Zuko had never laid roof tiles before, but he figured he might as well. It was honest work, for once. It would give him a place to sleep and a warm meal.

He didn't have anywhere else to go.

-0-

Toph was getting very sick of hearing about this Zuko guy. He'd been the last person that these three idiots had travelled with. Toph reckoned he'd left them just to escape Katara.

Man, that girl was _annoying._

So was Zuko, to be honest, and Toph hadn't even met him. She just felt very much like she was taking his place on Sheddy's back, and these three always going on about him wasn't helping. They were always comparing her to this dude, and it didn't seem fair. He wasn't even here so she could fight him and prove herself the superior badass.

Aang was glad she listened to him and wanted to be his friend, like Zuko. Sokka just said he was glad she was a sarcastic, good fighter like Zuko.

"I'm just really relieved you're not boring," Sokka had added.

Toph hadn't known how to take that. Was he expecting her to be boring in comparison to Zuko? Toph had led a sneaky double life as an Earth Rumble champion. She was the most interesting person she knew!

Katara wished Toph would help out more, just like Zuko used to. Katara never failed to point out how helpful this dude had been when he'd been travelling with them.

"Well, Zuko always used to help me with the cooking," she'd say, sounding snide.

Well, that was _dandy_ for Zuko, but Toph carried her own weight. She wasn't cooking for Katara and she didn't need Katara cooking for her.

Toph finally relented about eating with them, though. She brought her own snacks and sat by the fire with them. They seemed really weirdly happy that she had decided to join them, and that made it awkward at the start. They wanted to talk, too. Urgh! Toph wasn't used to constantly hanging around people her own age. She'd always been left on her own a lot as a kid.

What did these idiots want from her? She was eating dinner with them! Did she have to make pleasant conversation too?

The silence was stretching out.

"Do you guys remember when Zuko first joined us and we'd talk around the campfire for ages?" This was Aang's way of breaking the silence.

Dang!

Again? When she was sitting right there! Now Toph was regretting choosing to eat with them. She had enough.

"What happened to this Zuko guy anyway?" Toph snapped. She never brought him up or asked about him. It wasn't like these idiots needed any more encouragement to talk about that dude. "If he was _so great,_ why isn't he here to teach Aang earthbending?"

"He was actually a firebender," Aang corrected her mildly.

"Whatever. Same difference. Why isn't he here?"

There was a moment of silence.

"We got separated. We can't find him now," Katara replied, sounding sad. Her heartbeat changed a little as she said that.

Interesting. Toph was curious. "Okay, I just gotta ask. Was this Zuko guy your boyfriend?"

"What? Why would you even ask me that?" Katara spluttered. Her heartbeat was going haywire and she made more flabbergasted noises.

Sokka moved so he was looking at his sister. Toph felt his eyebrow rise sceptically. _Jackpot._

Toph smiled a little wickedly. "Because I reckon you probably annoyed him to death and then he got sick of your nagging and dumped you. That's why he's not here, isn't it?"

She felt a petty satisfaction at the huge response she got from Katara. There was some indignant shouting, pointing and stomping, then Katara ran off into the forest to cry or calm down or whatever. But now Sokka was looking at Toph with his eyebrow up.

"Too mean?" Toph asked.

Sokka was also a jerk, but he knew where the "too mean" line was a lot better than Toph. Boulder balls! Other people were complicated. Having to worry about other people's feelings was annoying. You said one "too mean" thing and they cried like little bitches.

"Yeah, that was too mean, Toph," Sokka said, but he didn't sound like he was judging her.

"Sorry. But she was driving me nuts. She won't stop comparing me to that guy. It's really annoying me."

"Yeah, I get why that would be annoying. I know we've been jerks comparing you two, and I'm sorry about that."

Toph was mollified. Sokka really was her favourite. She knew he'd get it.

"But you don't know the full story of what went down with Zuko. It wasn't cool to throw it in Katara's face," Sokka continued, and he sounded not scolding exactly, but he didn't approve of the way Toph had deliberately upset his sister either.

"What's the full story then?"

Toph heard Sokka's version of the full story. There were lots of sound effects. But the silly sound effects didn't soften the arse-load of crazy things Sokka was saying. Boulder balls, what had she gotten herself into when she came travelling with these idiots!

"So, let me get this straight," Toph said. "You were enemies, but then this Zuko guy saves you from drowning and you two share a passionate embrace, a kiss so mind-blowing it can chase away death—"

"Not like that! It was a life-saving technique!" Sokka squawked, absolutely beside himself with anger and frustration. Toph had been making comments ever since he told her about the kiss, precisely because it made Sokka so hilariously annoyed.

"—then you two teamed up to rescue Twinkletoes, who had been locked up in a tower by an evil douchebag like some cursed princess in spirit tale _._ Then you get him shot. Then Katara rips the arrow out and he nearly bleeds to death. Then you accidentally kidnapped him, handcuffed him to yourself, and dragged his arse all over the Earth Kingdom because Aang wanted him to teach him firebending."

"I wasn't dragging him," Aang said defensively. "I just mentioned in passing that it would be great if he wanted to teach me."

"He gets beaten by mobs and beaten up by your dad's friend and locked in random cupboards, and just _dang!"_ She acted like the thought was only just occurring to her. "Nothing but bad shit happened to this dude while he was with you. Then the Northern Water Tribe was going to kill him, but everyone up there thought Aang had accidentally killed him anyway during the blob-monster incident _._ Around the time Aang was causing a distraction being a glowing blob-monster of doom, this Zuko guy chose to bugger off and disappear?"

Aang was quiet. He clearly hadn't liked all the talk of the blob-monster-of-doom incident.

"Well, there was more to it than that..." Sokka began to say.

"You guys didn't get separated. He's running away from you!" Toph declared, stating the bleeding obvious.

"He's not running away from us," Sokka said. "I think he was glad we kidnapped him by the end of it. We were friends."

"That's not friendship. That's just Stakolshu syndrome melting his brain!"

Both Aang and Sokka made offended noises.

"Cripes, and now you've kidnapped me!" She gasped for dramatic effect.

"We didn't kidnap you. I'm not accidentally kidnapping any more people," Sokka declared. "Appa is a kidnapping-free zone!"

"You say that like you've accidentally kidnapped more people than just that Zuko guy."

Sokka's heartbeat told her all she needed to know.

"Boulder balls, how many people have you kidnapped?" she asked, astounded.

"Look, we didn't kidnap you. You ran away from your very controlling parents," Sokka corrected her.

"True." She had actually just been trying to get a rise out of Sokka, and she'd hoped joking about it would ease over the awkwardness she had caused tonight. "But still, does the fourth person in the saddle always have such a shit time?"

"You've been having a bad time with us?" Aang said, sounding concerned.

Aang had been very clear that he wanted to be _best friends forever_ with Toph. The news that she wasn't enjoying herself was obviously distressing him. Toph actually kind of liked travelling with them, dealing with Katara aside, but it was still a lot to get used to.

This life was totally different to the pampered yet confining and secretive double life she had lived in Gaoling. So she was being sarcastic all the time, but this was actually a good thing. She could be herself around them. She'd never been able to be sarcastic around her parents. She tried saying as much to Aang. She wasn't really having a shit time, it was just different.

"Look, this can work," Sokka said after a few moments. "We love having you around. I, for one, am very happy to have another sarcastic jerk in the saddle again."

"Wait, did you just call me a jerk?" As far as pep talks go, she hadn't been expecting to be insulted at the very start.

"Kinda. Don't dwell on it. Look, my point is we're all just getting used to having you with us and you are getting used to being around us. And this bit is always tricky, but I'm sure we are all going to be great friends in no time."

"Really?"

"Really. It'll work out. Katara will come around. And look at it this way, you're having a much easier first few days than Zuko at least. You haven't been shot, handcuffed or mobbed yet."

"Yet? What do you mean _yet_?" Toph asked, sounding mock horrified. "Are you expecting I'll be shot, handcuffed and mobbed in the near future?"

She enjoyed the boys' spluttering excuses.

-0-

Sela had come to find him in a panic, saying that Gow and his thugs had taken Lee after Lee had stood up to him. Wherever Zuko went, there were always people like Gow and his cronies. They used their power over these defenceless women and kids to make their lives miserable. Zuko was sick of it. Lee was a good kid, if very cheeky and inquisitive. He reminded Zuko a little of Aang. Zuko had liked him, but even if he hadn't known him at all, Zuko still would have gone to protect an innocent kid.

 _What kind of man needed to threaten and torment a young kid just to make himself feel big?_ Zuko thought in disgust as his stomach sank.

But he knew exactly the sort of man who needed to do that. A man like that had raised him. Men like that were cowards. They picked on soft targets who wouldn't or couldn't fight back. They would cower from a real adversary. Maybe that was why Zuko had been beating up every boorish, domineering bully he'd come across. It was practice.

Maybe he really was angry at his father.

Or maybe he was just doing it because someone had to stand up for those who couldn't defend themselves.

"It is the duty of the strong to protect the weak," Piandao had told him years ago as he presented Zuko with his first set of dual daos. "That is the true way of the sword."

Zuko had been thinking a lot more on Piandao's teachings lately, since he'd been relying on his swords more. Piandao had always been patient. He'd trained Zuko well. Zuko wasn't going to dishonour Piandao's teachings now. If he was going to use swords, he was going to do it right and protect those who needed it.

He was able to dispatch most of Gow's cronies quickly, but Gow was a big dude, almost as big as Kuruk. He was taking longer to subdue, but eventually Zuko got him down. He was walking over to Lee to untie the kid when he heard the sound of rocks sailing through the air behind him. He'd underestimated Gow. The arsehole still had a bit of fight left in him. Gow was probably only trying to hit Zuko, but the reckless idiot hadn't thought. Those rocks were going to hit Lee, but Gow didn't look like he cared.

The sheer ruthlessness of that act ignited something inside Zuko. Zuko felt it then: a righteous fury and an overpowering surge of that familiar warmth that started deep in his stomach. His fire had come back to him in a rush. It felt just as hot and strong as it ever had. He felt the fire in his hands, itching to get out.

Zuko knew then with absolute certainty that the spirits really did love just fucking with him.

He had been anxious for weeks about losing his fire. It was such a cruel irony that he couldn't use it now it had returned to him. He knew what happened when Earth Kingdom people found out he was a firebender. Makapu had taught him that.

Zuko stepped in front of the volley and blocked what he could with his swords, but one large rock caught him in the chest and slammed him into the ground a short distance from Lee. The kid was pleading with Zuko to get back up, but Zuko couldn't. Zuko had failed him, this kid who'd looked up to him. He felt dizzy and winded and afraid.

This really would be Makapu again, but Sokka and Katara and Aang weren't here to pull him to safety any more. He'd have to call on the fire and then everyone in the town would know what he was. Zuko knew what they'd do. He felt a rising dread as Gow's shadow moved across his. The arsehole was standing over him, looking down triumphantly.

"Any last words, stranger?" Gow asked.

THWACK.

Gow's eyes rolled back in his head and he made a little urghh sound. Sela was standing behind him, cast-iron frypan in hand. She had walloped him over the head with it. Gow turned around, dazed and confused and angry. He lunged for her then.

Sela, armed only with a kitchen implement and maternal fury, was a sight to behold. Watching her, Zuko suddenly remembered his mother's soft voice and what she'd told him long ago. " _That's what mums are like. You mess with their babies, they bite you back."_

Sela had evidentially had some kind of martial arts training. She spun close to Gow and flipped him over her shoulder by using his own strength and weight against him. Gow landed hard on his back. He was down, but not out. So she walloped him over the head again. She'd won, but she wasn't done.

"Screw you, dickwad!" She whacked Gow's unconscious form in the chest. "This is for all those comments about my husband!" Gow took it to the shoulder. "This is for what you said about Sensu!" She walloped him in the meaty side of his arse, then his stomach. "This is for your disgusting proposition."

Sela went for the gonads here, with much alacrity. There was a lot of anger behind that strike. Zuko knew that every single male in the village was recoiling in unison at the sight and sound the impact made.

"No one bends at my kid!" She went straight for the soft underbelly.

She gave Gow several whacks to the stomach before she seemed satisfied. Then Sela strode over to Lee and began to untie him. He was looking at his mother adoringly, like she was his hero.

That was how it should be.

-0-

Toph was going to be Aang's earthbending teacher, and Katara didn't want to rock the boat. Katara could be _the bigger person._ She was more mature, after all. But it was super grating when Toph acted like all requests for her help with chores meant that Katara was incompetent and couldn't do it herself.

Katara could _do everything herself!_

Katara kind of resented the way that Sokka and Aang acted like she was in the wrong, like _she_ was the one who had to change to accommodate Toph and _she_ was the one being unreasonable and unfriendly. Katara wasn't the one doing anything wrong or acting like an arsehole. She wasn't trying to be overbearing or unreasonable. Everyone pitching in together was _just how life was,_ in Katara's experience. Katara just wanted to include the girl, and that meant including her in chores too.

Katara really missed Zuko. She felt like he would have listened and taken her side ... or at least not made her feel like she was being unreasonable. She missed him all the time, actually. She had hoped that time would lessen how much it hurt to be without him, but no luck so far. She mostly tried to put him from her mind now. She didn't always succeed.

Katara didn't understand why asking Toph to create a fire pit with her bending was such a huge three-act drama for the other girl. Katara didn't know why she made such an issue about the fire pit. This argument wasn't the metaphorical hill Katara wanted to die on. The fire pit was an easy job. She could have done it herself.

Unwisely, Katara started ranting that she understood Toph was from a really rich family and was used to never lifting a finger to help anyone else, but Zuko had been _royalty,_ and he'd still been nowhere near as _spoiled_ and _useless_ as Toph. He'd been able to build fire pits and boil carrots without all this hoopla.

"Well, why don't you just ask your firebender boyfriend to do it for you then? Oh no, you can't because he's buggered off to get away from how annoying you are!" Toph shot back.

Something inside Katara's carefully maintained wall of good manners cracked and the angry wench that had been held back behind a facade of politeness was going to be unleashed.

Toph seemed to realise that she'd crossed some kind of line, because her tone was strangely apologetic when she next spoke. "Look. That was too mean. I get that you miss Zuko or whatever, and you are angry at me for taking his place on Appa's... "

But Katara didn't let her finish.

 _Take his place?_

"You will never take Zuko's place!" she thundered at the other girl.

Katara was sick of trying to make this rude girl feel welcome. The gloves were coming off now!

-0-

Zuko ended up going home with Sela and Lee. She'd invited him for dinner again to thank him for trying to save her son. It was the sort of invitation that seemed more like an instruction. Zuko thought it was in his best interest to just agree with her and go along. They sat on the veranda after Lee had gone to sleep, watching the sunflowers.

"After the day we've had, I think we deserve a drink," Sela said.

She poured them both a generous measure of a clear liquid. She took a big swig of hers. Zuko smelled it experimentally. Cheap, astringent sake. It smelled nasty, but he didn't want to be rude, especially not when they were this close to kitchen implements. He took a sip and stifled his gag reflex.

"You're probably wondering why I asked you to fight today when I can..." Sela mimed karate chopping.

"How do you know how to fight like that?" Zuko asked. He didn't know any fighting style that specialised in fry-pans.

"I was a Kysohi Warrior in my youth, you see." Sela took another long, steadying sip of her drink. "But it was a long time ago and I wasn't sure if I could take all of them on my own now."

Zuko blinked at her in surprise. She'd obviously been keeping _that_ a secret from her son. "Why didn't you tell Lee?"

"To protect him."

"Hiding things from him is _not_ protecting him," Zuko said harshly. He took a long sip of his own drink. It didn't taste as bad now, but it burned a little going down his throat.

"Shows what you know about the Kyoshi Warriors."

"They're a neutral, non-bending, all female fighting force based on Kyoshi Island. They're led by a girl called Suki. They based their techniques on moves used by Avatar Kyoshi and hold her in high regard. Their guiding principle is to turn an opponent's strength against them."

Sela raised her eyebrow at him in surprise.

"I know things," he said petulantly.

"Let me ask you this: how old is this Suki, the leader, Mr _I Know Things_?" She did a rather sarcastic impersonation of his voice as she said this.

"She's fifteen or sixteen."

"Sixteen years old. What a baby." She tsked softly with a shake of her head.

Zuko felt a bit offended. He was sixteen. Sixteen was not a baby. He was an adult. He protested this.

For a moment, Sela seemed very amused before her expression darkened. "Don't you wonder why they are led by a sixteen year old?" Her tone would have been patronising if it didn't sound so sad and bitter. "Where did all the master warriors go? Did you ever think about that?"

That did pull Zuko up short. It was odd. He thought back to the Kyoshi Warriors. They had all been teenagers like him. There'd be a terrible story behind it, and Zuko wasn't sure he wanted to know, but curiosity got the better of him. "What happened?"

"I've never spoken of it. I don't tickle sleeping moose-lions. I leave my sleeping moose-lions be."

Great. A weird proverb.

"Why?"

This was the bit Zuko didn't get. Was this something that all grown-ups started doing? Keeping secrets from their kids? Maybe he had overreacted about the Flower Friends. Maybe all grown-ups were members of some secret society or warrior group and never spoke to their kids about it. Zuko couldn't imagine doing the same, but maybe he would also wait until his imaginary future children were teenagers before dropping, "Oh, by the way kids, I'm a ninja," casually into conversation.

"I wanted a better life for Sensu and Lee, so I put my past behind me. Sometimes you've just got to move forward even if it hurts. Holding onto the bad things doesn't help anyone." She looked at the sunflowers for a long moment. "I've seen things. I've done things. Talking about them is hard."

That, Zuko understood. He'd always had a hard time talking about the things that had happened to him. Whenever his uncle wanted to have one of _those chats,_ Zuko just couldn't. The words got stuck in his throat or came out all mangled.

It made him miss Katara every time. He'd always been able to talk to Katara. She understood him and all the things he was saying, and even the things he wasn't saying. She never made him feel awkward ... well, she did sometimes, but it had usually been a good sort of awkward, like when she'd let him touch her boob for the first time.

He'd been hesitant when they first started being together and touching each other. She was much more adventurous than he was on that front. He'd been wanting to touch her more but was sure she'd get pissed off at him, so sure she'd push him away and he'd do something wrong and accidentally hurt her. She seemed to know what he was afraid of without him even having to say it. One night, she'd just grabbed his hand and put it on her own chest, saying, "There. It's done now. See, I'm not going to break or get mad at you, so you don't need to feel weird anymore." The rest of that night had been _amazing._

Thinking about Katara made his own chest feel like it was being squeezed painfully in a vice. One of Uncle's Flower Friends had said, " _Give it time, lad. You'll get over it."_ But that wasn't true. Even after all this time, his yearning for her had never diminished. Time wasn't making missing her hurt less. Zuko didn't think he was ever going to get over her. But it was nice of Flower Mate to try cheer him up anyway.

In all fairness, as secret groups go, the Flower Friends actually hadn't been that bad. They'd all been kind people in their own way. They had helped him so much, and he hadn't even known. They'd been silently looking after him for his uncle. Well, maybe not Pakku. Pakku was a hedgehog-fucker. But Aunt Wu had helped save him from the mob in Makapu. He'd learned so much from Jeong Jeong. Yugoda had been like a grandmother to him, always feeding him trout and making sure he was warm enough ... making him feel safe even though he was a prisoner of war.

Zuko knew he'd probably been a little unfair to Uncle about the Flower Friends. He'd reacted badly. He'd held on to the bad things. He thought Uncle lying about the Flower Friends meant that he was lying about everything else, but that wasn't true.

Zuko tried to push the regret away and followed Sela's lead. He took another huge sip. There was less burn now, but he still ended up coughing a great deal as it went down. Sela gave him a quick whack between the shoulder blades, then looked at him appraisingly.

"I reckon you've seen some real shit, kid. Would you sit down with Lee and step by step explain to him all the awful things you've seen?" Sela asked quietly.

Zuko made a horrified face at her suggestion. "No. Never."

"See, you wouldn't, would you? You wouldn't because he's just a kid and you want him to feel safe. Everything I do is to make him feel safe. So don't judge me for my secrets and I won't judge you for yours."

"Okay."

It was a compromise Zuko could live with. He nodded back at her. She hadn't told him what had happened to the Kyoshi Warriors or why she had chosen this shithole of all places to live, but then again Zuko hadn't told her anything about himself either. His uncle kept secrets, too. Maybe Uncle did this because he wanted Zuko to feel safe. Uncle was several years too late for that, but still it was the thought that counted.

They drank in silence, watching the breeze through the sunflowers. Zuko had a little buzz now.

"You can stay, you know," Sela offered quietly. "I could use the help. I can't offer much but a roof over your head and hot meals."

Maybe he could. Nothing was stopping him. Zuko could stay, finish roofing the barn and teach Lee how to use the swords properly. He could live in a place where _nothing_ and _no one_ would ever be able to sneak up on him again. Whatever awful thing was about to happen to him, at least Zuko would see it coming this time. Living here wouldn't be the worst thing.

Unbidden, he remembered Azula's taunts from years ago. _Maybe you'll find a nice Earth Kingdom family to adopt you._ He frowned bitterly to himself. No matter where he went or what he did, Azula could still ruin things for him.

"Thanks, but I should be moving on in the morning," Zuko replied, but he couldn't help the curl of anxiety in his stomach.

He had no idea where he was going. There was no guarantee that the next town would be any better than here. He was lost and had no way of finding his uncle, but he needed to try if he was ever going to fix what he broke with their fight.

He looked at Sela out of the side of his eye. She was older. She'd looked after him. She was secretive. She spoke in proverbs. Maybe she was a Flower Friend, too? Zuko didn't really want anything to do with the Flower Friends. He certainly didn't want to owe them anything, but he was getting desperate. Maybe Sela knew where Uncle was and was trying to subtly encourage him to stay here so she could help them reunite. There was only one way to find out. Zuko wracked his brains for the stupid phrases those old windbags used to say.

"You know, the sunflowers follow the sun during the day?" Zuko said, apropos of nothing.

That had to be one, surely.

"Yes, they do," Sela said, shooting him a confused look at the abrupt change in subject.

"Lilies are pretty?" Zuko tried again.

"Suuuure." One of Sela's eyebrows had climbed rather high now.

"Roses smell nice?"

"Are you feeling okay, kid?" Sela asked, looking at him like she thought he had gone crazy.

But Zuko needed to be sure. If she was a Flower Friend, then finding his uncle again would be ridiculously easy. He just needed to find the right words.

"Jasmine grows in the dirt?"

"Did you hit your head today? You said the rock only got you in the chest." Sela was looking a bit worried now.

"Something about Pai Sho?" Zuko finished lamely with a shrug. He had no more ideas.

"That's it. I'm cutting you off." Sela stood up abruptly and took his glass away.

Oi, Zuko hadn't finished that!

-0-

Notes:

One million squillion thanks to the gorgeous Boogum. She is a gem!

Thanks to everyone who leaves feedback. It warms my heart to read that you are all enjoying this wild ride.

In these notes, I will ramble about:

Zuko's not stupid, but he thinks he is.

Zuko's character in general.

Toph!

Sela and the Kyoshi warriors.

So I'm not touching the Blind bandit episode. That episode was gold. I love it and I don't think there's anything I could add to it. How the Gaang meet Toph would have still gone down the same, because it was awesome.

Instead this chapter picks up at the end of the blind bandit and covers the start of the chase and Zuko alone. I think these two episodes were happening concurrently, but focussing on different characters. I have given the Gaang a day or two travelling with Toph before the dangerous ladies catch up. Next chapter will cover when Azula gets into the mix – and there will be drama.

I actually don't think Zuko's that much of a dumbass. He's reckless and does dumb stuff when he's emotional, but he's not an idiot. His intelligence is something that is frequently mocked by mutliple characters throughout the series. Azula, Ozai, Sokka, Aang, Mai – hell, even Uncle Iroh, all take pot-shots at him about being stupid. Zuko internalises things and I think he has internalised this perception of himself. He sees himself as a hard-worker, someone who has to struggle and fight to get things, not someone who is naturally clever and 'gifted'. He always compares to himself to his sister, and Azula has Machiavellian brilliance. No wonder he feels stupid compared to her.

Zuko blows up at his Uncle in this chapter. It's been a long time coming friends. Lashing out at his Uncle is Zuko's coping strategy when he feels overwhelmed by the sheer amount of bullshit that is his life. Uncle's lies about the flower friends has been simmering away as a big issue for Zuko because it has very much undermined his trust in his Uncle. This secrecy has negatively impacted their close relationship. Zuko is also feeling very isolated, even before he runs off. He is missing the Gaang instead of his Fire Nation home, but him associated the Gaang with 'home' is still more on a subconscious level for him.

I also think as Zuko leans more into the blue-spirit identity, and relies on his swords more, he would think more on the teachings of Piandao (My personal favourite original white lotus member). The swords are an integral part of blue spirit, the same as ninjitsu. Both these non-bending skills give Zuko a sense of achievement which firebending denied him. He is proficient at swords and ninjitsu, and I think he gains a certain sense freedom from using these skills. The blue spirit really helps Zuko feel more free from his old identity. It is also helping him work through some stuff with his dad, and how he really feels about bullying and abuse.

I think Zuko would be fuelled by righteous anger at injustice and desire to protect people. There is still an element of anger, but it is more useful and positive anger. He's passionate about justice, honour and protecting people. Goodness, how do people get the idea that Zuko is a "bad boy" when all that boy is about is trying to be honourable?

Zuko's biggest motivation, even when he was little, was to take care of people and protect them. Think of Mai in the pond, or 'you can't sacrifice those soldiers like'. This was an innate part of him, that he tried to suppress to please his father. It's also why people like Song with her burn scars have a big impact on him. Zuko regaining his full bending when he uses it for the defence of the innocent felt right. Hey hey, starwars reference: He's stronger protecting what he loves, than he is fighting what he hates. Even though firebending is more aggressive, I reason that Zuko's would be stronger when he is defending something he cares for. He might actually be accidentally rediscovering other bending styles, which also relied on other sources rather than hate.

So Toph. I love her. Toph to me is a miniature, ass-kicking Gina Linetti (from Brooklyn 99). She doesn't tolerate pussy-footing, but she also isn't gentle or sensitive to other people's feelings. Especially in the beginning. See Toph was brought up both very spoiled, and very isolated. Her noble status, from what we see of the Earth Kingdom society, meant that she never had to care about other's feelings, even if she did have a friend. The only people she associated with, outside her privileged bubble, were rude, brash Earth Rumblers.

Toph has never hung out with kids her own age, before the Gaang. Going from relative isolation, to being surrounded by the Gaang 24/7 would be a big adjustment for her.

Zuko never hung around with kids his own age that much and he was awkward. But Toph's response to the Gaang's persistent friendship is rudeness. I think this rudeness is partly fuelled by Toph feeling defensive, because she doesn't know how to react around the Gaang. She is constantly pushing them, especially Katara. No one said she had to set up her rock tent as far away from them as human possible – but this is where Toph chooses to camp. I thought that was interesting. She moves closer and softens her rough edges around them as the show progresses, but I still think some of her initial stand-offishness was a result of her finding her feet with people her own age.

The girl's fight is really because they have two very different world views which are clashing. Toph is an isolationist, everyone should be an island and carry their own weight. She is also struggling with interacting with the group on a friendly level. Katara comes from a very communal upbringing where everyone needed to pitch in to survive. She's sees Toph's refusal to help as an affront to her whole way of life. Toph and Katara completely misunderstand each other here.

I think Toph's feeling of competitiveness towards Zuko would be a fairly natural reaction to being frequently compared to him. I also think it would be normal for the Gaang to compare them – not maliciously, they aren't trying to hurt her feelings. But Zuko is the only other person they've added to their group on a long term basis. He and Toph have some traits in common. It's only natural that they would make comparisons between their two belligerent badasses. I think this initial tendency to compare them would be one effect that Zuko joining the Gaang in season one would have on their relationship with Toph. However Toph quickly sets them straight and establishes her own identity.

"That's what mums are like," is such an important line for Zuko and such a character building line for Ursa. (Boo comics, boo. That woman wouldn't have just abandoned those kids to a psychopath so she could shag her high school bf). Anyway, I like this line and I wanted to work it in, just in a different context. Thank you Sela.

I'm always a big believer in fleshing out those background lady characters.

Sela was also a former Kyoshi warrior. I have also always been puzzled about the Kyoshi warriors, because seriously, Suki is 16 and she is wonderful and well-spoken and great warrior – but she is still a teenager. Why is she in charge? Where are all the old warriors?

I couldn't come up with anything satisfactory, so Sela is cagey about her past. I am assuming it is something bad, maybe something to do with the war, maybe something to do with Ba Sing Se, but nevertheless, Sela had a good reason to desert and choose to go live an anonymous life where nothing and no one would ever sneak up on her

Gosh, when little Lee said that to Zuko in the show, I just though "Thank goodness, that is what that kid needs. No surprises. Nothing sneaking up to pull the rug out from under him. Let him have a bit of warning for once."

The lesson Zuko learns in the village is a different to the show. He's grown much more since Makapu. Instead, Zuko gets to learn from Sela. It was heaps of fun to write their chat, and I think she helped him just as much as Uncle Iroh helps Toph. She helps him start to let go of the bad things, in a way that all of Iroh's proverbs couldn't accomplish. I think because Zuko would feel a kinship with Sela's inability to talk about all the bad things that had happened to her, and her desire to move forward. She also helps him come round to Iroh and the flower friends.

I had a couple of lines in Zuko and Katara's POV about how much they miss each other. Because I am a sap. Katara tries not to think about it, and pushes her feelings down. Zuko's a massive moper.

But next chapter, some members of the Gaang will reunite with Zuko. Azula will be in the mix and there will be drama!

One million squillion thanks to the gorgeous Boogum. She is a gem!

Thanks to everyone who leaves feedback. It warms my heart to read that you are all enjoying this wild ride.


	6. The Chase

Toph was angry. They'd had no sleep, they were being chased by the dangerous ladies, and Katara still wouldn't give it a rest. Then Aang jumped on the bandwagon and started criticising Toph. That really infuriated her. She grumbled that she was outta there. She was leaving before these idiots got her shot or handcuffed.

"No wonder that Zuko guy ditched you lot," she threw acidly over her shoulder, knowing it would upset them.

Sokka tried to stop her, but she bent him to the side and kept walking. She heard Aang and Katara muttering regretfully about how bad they felt and how mean they had been. Though she felt a strange sense of satisfaction, she kept walking. She was going to need a proper apology from those two first and a bit of grovelling.

She ran into this old guy, who told her she was too young to be travelling alone. She shot back that he was too old. She was gearing up for a fight, but the old guy laughed a huge belly laugh and invited her for tea. The old guy was kind. He told some wicked jokes and made Toph laugh.

Old Guy was looking for his nephew: some boy who always wanted to do everything for himself, by himself. His nephew had gotten lost when he was trying to figure out who he was meant to be now. Toph could relate. She wasn't sure who she was meant to be now that she didn't have to live a double life.

She thought it would be nice to have someone like this old guy in her life, someone who would support her and try to understand her. Talking to the old guy about his wayward nephew actually helped her. She thanked the old guy for the tea and started the slow process of storming back.

-0-

"Do you really want to fight me?" the girl practically crooned. "You're already exhausted and we haven't even begun."

Aang was too tired to make a witty comeback. He was too tired to even raise his eyebrows in disapproval. Maybe Sokka was right about this girl.

" _There's something not right with that girl. She's crazy, and not in the_ fun _way. More like the stab-you-eighteen-times-without-blinking, I-love-the-smell-of-burning-in-the-morning kind of way."_

That had been Sokka's blunt assessment after Omashu. Aang had to concede that maybe Sokka had a point. This girl was Zuko's sister, Azula, but she was so mean. She seemed happy to be mean too, which struck Aang as super weird. She didn't seem to want people to like her at all. She wanted them to be scared of her.

She was practically stalking over to him in an extremely exaggerated predatory fashion, just to be extra frightening. Even though Aang thought she did this mostly for the aesthetic, it was still working. She was creeping him out! He'd barely made it out of Omashu when she'd been after him, and back then he'd been fresh and had Bumi helping him. Aang felt dread at the thought of having to fight her alone.

"What happens now?"

"It will be interesting," Azula said. "If you run, I'll catch you. If you fight, I'll win. You already know you can't defeat me on your own." She smiled.

"He's not on his own!"

Aang hadn't heard Zuko's voice for weeks, but he'd know that grumpy rasp anywhere. His heart soared in his chest. "Zuko!" he exclaimed, turning around. "You're here! You're alive!"

He ran towards the older boy, heedless of the girl throwing searing hot fire blasts over his shoulder. Sokka really was right about everything! Zuko always did turn up sooner or later.

Aang practically launched himself like a hugging catapult. Zuko made an "oof" noise as he caught Aang in his arms.

"Aang, what the hell?" Zuko sounded very confused. "Of course I'm alive. Didn't Katara get my message?"

"Yeah, she did, but—"

The princess barrelled towards them with her crazy blue fire going everywhere.

"Koh's balls!" Zuko spun Aang behind him, throwing up a fire shield with his foot to block her blasts.

The girl kept firing. Zuko dropped Aang to use both hands to throw a wave of fire at her.

Maybe it was because Aang was so glad to see Zuko again. Maybe it was because he was just so tired. Maybe it was because he was relieved that he didn't have to fight to crazy, blue fire princess on his own any more. Whatever the reason, Aang took a moment to sit on the ground and just smile a huge dopey smile at his friend while Zuko threw a buttload of fire at his sister.

"I'm so glad to see you, Zuko!" Aang said joyfully. "I was worried we'd never find you again. I have so much to tell you! But you go first! Tell me what have you been up to."

Zuko's concentration was broken. He took a second to look down at Aang, good eyebrow raised. "Aang! We can catch up later! There are _other things_ we should be focussing on!" Then he pulled Aang up to his feet, only to shove Aang abruptly behind him again. He blocked another of his sister's attacks.

Oh right. They were in the middle of an actual fire fight.

Aang should probably focus on that.

-0-

Victory was so boring.

They had immobilised the two Water Tribe savages. Ugh, Water Tribe people. They weren't so tough now. They didn't look like cannibals, but Mai wasn't taking any chances. She tied them up rather thoroughly and none to gently. She watched them struggle for a moment.

 _Too easy_ , Mai thought disdainfully.

She could take some satisfaction in finally getting Zuko's knife back, though. It was tied to the girl barbarian's belt. Mai had recognised it instantly in Omashu. Those sick bastards had probably taken it as a trophy after they'd eaten him. They probably collected weapons from all their victims in some disgusting, primitive ritual. Zuko didn't deserve to have his favourite knife end up in some grubby, cannibalistic peasant's hands.

She took the knife from the girl's belt. The girl went nuts then and started shouting hysterically at Mai to give it back. It was probably the most expensive thing a cannibal like that had ever stolen. The girl was acting like it was _hers,_ and that really annoyed Mai. Mai gagged her then. The boy savage started carrying on in defence of his sister. Mai gagged him too.

Finally, some blessed silence.

She sat by the river and took out the knife to examine it. It was obviously too fine for that savage. Mai glanced disdainfully at the girl, who glared back fiercely. Mai muttered a few choice insults. The girl hadn't even been sharpening it properly. Mai took out her whetstone and went to work. Ty Lee turned and waved rather flirtatiously at their captives before sitting next to Mai.

"That boy is so pretty."

The Water Tribe boy in question made an amusingly outraged face at being called pretty.

"Don't smile at him, Ty Lee," Mai said impassively, focussing on her sharpening. "He's Water Tribe."

"I know. It's why he has such beautiful blue eyes. So does his sister. They're both gorgeous, but the boy one is _a tall drink of water_ , you know what I mean?" Ty Lee turned to wave at the other two and winked suggestively at the boy.

Mai felt a twinge of impatience, but it was amusing to see both Water Tribe peasants making comically indignant faces at each other and recoiling from Ty Lee as much as was possible. The cannibals were scared of a little flirting? Who knew?

"You cannot be seriously crushing on Water Tribe people after what they did to Zuko. They _ate_ him, Ty Lee. As in munch-munch-pass-the-salt-oh-he-is-yummy ate him."

Mai's deadpan tone came from a great deal of practice, but she was shuddering internally. Oh Zuko. What a way to for him to go. It was horrible. She felt a twinge of something, some feeling deep in her stomach, whenever she thought about it. Her emotionless veneer faltered for a second as she threw a look of pure loathing at the peasant girl. "That filthy peasant probably got her teeth into him. Urgh, she would have had her gross mouth all over him."

The girl averted her gaze and blushed scarlet at having her savage cannibalistic ways pointed out.

"Actually, Zuko told me they don't eat people at all. He _really hates_ people thinking he got eaten. He got super-duper grumpy with me about it. He says everything we were taught about the Water Tribe was lies."

It sounded like Ty Lee had spoken to him recently. Mai breathed deeply and tried to maintain her composure to hide her surprise. She stopped sharpening and put the knife to the side.

"He's alive? You've seen him?" Mai limited her reaction as best she could, but she still worried that a trace of an emotion that could be misinterpreted as excitement came out in her voice.

"Yes. Azula and I found him when she tried to arrest General Iroh. But she tells me we can't say anything about finding him yet. Not until she catches Zuko too. She says we're meant to catch them both and take them back to the Fire Nation to face punishment for their crimes."

The girl peasant made a strange noise, like a turtleduck being stepped on.

Ty lee paused to throw her a confused glance before turning back to Mai. "Azula didn't tell you?" she asked, overly bright. Her cheerfulness seemed a little forced whenever she spoke of Azula.

"No, Azula didn't tell me that," Mai replied evenly, but a twinge of sardonic disapproval definitely made it through. Azula lied and withheld the truth. That was nothing new. But this time it actually annoyed Mai.

"Er ... maybe don't bring it up with her then. She's still furious about the thing with handcuffs."

Ty Lee definitely sounded nervous now. She was very good a covering it with bright, bubbly acting, but Mai knew how to pick up on what she was really feeling. There was a story there. Hopefully, it was not a kinky story. Mai didn't want to know that kind of detail about Azula.

"What thing with the handcuffs?" she asked slowly.

"It's how they escaped. Zuko stole her imperial steel handcuffs. You know, they're the ones you can't firebend through. Azula had been planning on using them on General Iroh, but Zuko surprised us. He said he saw Fire Lord Ozai in a sequinned tutu behind us and ... we both _looked._ She says it was me, but she _looked_ too!" Ty Lee sounded a little indignant. "Anyway, he handcuffed us together when we were distracted and threw the keys into the river."

The Water Tribe boy seemed to be having some kind of seizure behind them. He was making a great deal of noise and many strange faces at the girl. She wasn't much better. She was causing a great deal of commotion. Ty Lee and Mai both turned and glanced at them. There didn't seem to be any snakes or anything else dangerous at their feet. They were just being noisy peasants.

"Would you both shut up while I am talking to my friend?" Mai admonished dryly, and threw a knife so it landed near the boy's ponytail. It wasn't to hurt him, just to scare him. It was effective. The boy's eyes widened in horror and he settled down quickly. He exchanged a series of wide-eyed looks with his sister but stopped making the noise. Mai waited for silence before turning back to Ty Lee.

"Outsmarted by Zuko. Bet Azula _loved_ that." A rare smirk graced her lips. Seeing Azula in that situation sounded entertaining.

"I was handcuffed to her for nearly two days and I can tell you she most definitely did not enjoy it. Her murder fantasies got _really graphic_ towards the end there."

"Poor you," Mai said, and for once she wished her voice held more emotion. It sounded sarcastic, but she really wanted to commiserate with her friend. Handcuffed to Azula for two days. Yikes!

"It was only really bad when one of us needed to go to the bathroom." Ty Lee shuddered.

Mai put her arm around the other girl in a comforting fashion. "There, there," she said impassively.

Ty Lee leaned her head against Mai's shoulder. Mai didn't mind when it was Ty Lee and gave the other girl a squeeze, thankful for her cheerful presence and her honesty.

So Zuko was alive, and he'd escaped his sister. That was interesting. It wasn't what Mai had expected, which was the best anyone could say for it.

"How is he?" Mai asked after a moment, trying not to sound like she _cared._

"He seemed ... different." Ty Lee replied, a thoughtful look on her face. "His aura was this foggy, cloudy blue."

"You know I don't believe in auras. What does that mean?"

"It's more than just sad. It's like _super-duper sad_ but more heavy. It was like he was super-mega-bummed about something."

"Could he have been 'super-mega-bummed' about the fact you were trying to arrest him for treason and then drag his arse back to the Fire Nation to be executed?" Mai asked, aware that her tone sounded a little sarcastic.

"You know, it could have been that!" Ty Lee said brightly, like that thought had only just occurred to her.

Mai wanted to tell Ty Lee that she didn't need to do the dumb bimbo act around her. Mai wasn't Azula.

Suddenly, they heard a growl and a chirrup from behind them. The bison and small flying thing had arrived. The flying thing went to the peasants and started working at the knots, and the bison moved its tail and Mai and Ty Lee were hit with a huge air blast. They both ended up in the river. Mai wasn't a confident swimmer and scrambled for the bank. She was clutching the tree roots at the side when she felt it. The water moved unnaturally all around her in strange eddies and swirls. She shuddered from the cold. Then the feeling abated. Zuko's knife was being lifted above her and over to the bank in a little bubble of water.

"I'll be taking this back, thanks!" the girl peasant said impertinently as she grabbed it and ran off to the bison with her brother.

-0-

Toph found the clearing empty. She got down on all fours to better feel the ground and reached out with her senses. She could feel in the distance the frantic rumbles of a fight and every now and then the softest of feet landing.

Twinkletoes.

She knew his dainty feet anywhere. Aang was her friend, even if they had a fight. He was in trouble. It seemed like he had been cornered by two fire benders. She could tell they were both firebenders by how stridently they were stomping about. Toph made an earth-wave that could carry her to Aang much faster than her own two feet. She would protect Aang from Hot Stuff One and Hot Stuff Two.

She blasted into the town, making a rather big entrance by raining an extravagant amount of rocks down on the firebenders. They both had to momentarily duck to avoid her rock rain. She sent a huge boulder towards the nearest one. It took him by surprise, judging from the noise he made. He was knocked on his arse into the next street. He lay still.

"No, Toph! He's our friend! He's on our side!" Aang shouted at her, sounding worried.

Oops.

"Zuzu, you made a friend!" the firebender girl laughed.

It was the lightning girl from before. The sound of her laugh put Toph on edge. It sent a shiver up her spine. It was a creepy, unnerving sound.

"Oh, Dum Dum, never change! You make life so amusing." Lightning Girl strolled towards the boy on the ground and kicked him with her weird pointy-toed shoes firmly.

 _Dang,_ she was literally kicking him while he was down.

What a bitch.

Twinkletoes didn't like that at all. "Oi, you leave him alone!"

He landed between the other boy and the girl, standing his ground protectively. He was more furious than Toph had ever seen him. He hit the bitchy firebender with a huge tornado. The girl was knocked off her feet, but she still sent the hottest fire blast Toph had ever felt towards Aang as she was mid-air. Aang dodged it and scooted down the street.

For a brief moment, Twinkletoes had seemed disgruntled and aggressive, but now he was running away again. Toph sighed. She was going to have her work cut out for her teaching him to stand his ground. Airbenders, always dodging and avoiding.

Toph went over to the other boy and tried to wake him. She fixed her own mistakes. She'd make sure he was okay before she joined the fight. Twinkletoes had it under control for now.

She ended up poking the dude with her foot, but it was a gentle toe-poke. She wasn't kicking him, just nudging. And she had bare feet, not pointy-toed shoes at least.

After three toe-pokes, he groaned loudly and rolled over. "Agni-fucking dammit!" he swore under his breath. "Not again."

"Sorry about the rocks."

"Who are you?" he said, but he still took her hand and let her help him up.

"I'm Toph. I'm new. And I'm guessing you're Zuko?"

Toph wasn't an idiot. A grumpy, swearing firebender who had been trying to help Aang out of a pickle—yeah, she'd figured out who it was pretty quickly.

"How do you know my name?" Zuko sounded bamboozled by this.

"I know all about you. Those dumbasses will not shut up about you. ' _Oh, Zuko was so helpful. Zuko was so great. I miss Zuko,'"_ she mimicked sarcastically before blowing a big raspberry to show her displeasure.

"They really say things like that?"

"Yes, and it's hella annoying!"

"Sorry."

At that moment, Aang raced back along the main street while Crazy Flames followed throwing her crazy flames at him.

"Listen, Toph. We have to get Aang out of here. He's really off his game," Zuko said, walking towards the commotion.

"Twinkletoes has never been on his game. His _power move_ is going to be trying to cuddle her to death."

"Maybe we can talk about this..." they caught Aang saying as he raced in the other direction. Crazy Pants continued to throw fire at him. She was unmercifully fast and ruthless in her blasts. She didn't seem in the mood to talk.

"Koh's balls, you're right." Zuko sighed in an expansive and long-suffering fashion.

Toph loved being told that she was right. She was feeling a little more amenable to Zuko now. Zuko was all action, though. He didn't stop to chat any more. Instead, he dashed back out into the street and started returning fire at Creepy Flames. Toph had been gearing herself up for a fight and joined in with rock volleys and surprise spikes.

They pushed her back towards the other corner of the town. Zuko blocked all of the aerial attacks that came down when Bitchbender jumped really high in the air and rained fire on them. Toph couldn't sense the attacks when the fire was in the air. Toph was uncomfortable with the thought that she needed someone to protect her.

She wasn't going to stand for this situation. Toph always held her own in a fight! She was tough! She would have to get much better at sensing fire if she was going to be in it with Aang for the long haul.

"Zuko, can you make fire move across the ground?" she asked him suddenly.

"Like this?" he asked as he moved his feet.

Toph felt it then. It was like rock-wave but made of heat. It was more jumpy and less solid, moving evenly across the surface of the entire street. Crazy Bags had to dodge into a side street to avoid it. Toph concentrated on how it felt, and nodded at him. She could work with that.

"When I catch you, Brother, I am going to find some actual cannibals to feed you to. I am going to enjoy watching them feast on your eyeballs," Crazy Flames said conversationally to Zuko as she emerged from the side street.

 _Gross._

Wait, they were brother and sister?

 _Weird._

Crazy Flames now had her attention turned fully towards Zuko. She threw what seemed to be a fire tornado at him. Toph had a hard time making out the exact shape, but it was huge and hot. Toph threw up some rocks to shield herself, feeling cross. Toph had never been the lesser adversary, ever. So she really upped her game on the rockalance front. She made the ground shake under the girl. That kept her busy.

"Can I ask you something, Zuko?" Toph asked, now that the fight had hit a rhythm. He was in the middle of shooting fire out of his feet at his sister, while Toph made the ground shake.

"Sure." He continued the fire stream, not dropping his stance for a second or turning his body towards Toph.

"Did you leave because Katara was so annoying?"

Zuko dropped his fire abruptly and he turned to her. "No! How could you even say that! Katara's..." He turned his head towards his sister and there was a spike in his heartbeat. He was angry, but he was also worried—not about his sister feeding him to cannibals, but about her overhearing whatever he had been about to say. Toph reckoned she was out of earshot, but Zuko squeezed his lips shut anyway.

"She just keeps trying to include me and it's driving me nuts!" Toph huffed back, defensive.

"Would you prefer it if she was always trying to exclude you and making you feel left out?"

Toph should have expected this. She was almost completely sure that the two of them had probably been playing _hide-the-sausage_ together just from the way Katara always went on about him. Toph should have expected that Zuko would be super defensive about his girlfriend and take Katara's side.

But he did have a point. That was annoying.

"No," Toph confessed.

Aang came whooshing back to join them. He looked at the princess cornered by their combined bending. "What should we do now?" he asked Zuko happily.

"She's after you, Aang. She's really vicious. She'll hurt you," Zuko said in a warning tone. "We need to get you out of here."

"You're coming too, right?" Aang turned to the older boy with his heart beating nervously.

"You're the Avatar. It's more important for you to escape. I'll distract her. I can buy you guys some time to get the hell out of here." Zuko's tone of voice left no room for argument. "I have an idea. Toph, can you give me a boost towards her?"

Toph launched him in the vague direction of his crazy sister. That surprised the hell out of the girl. They landed in a big heap of angry limbs. There was a quick physical struggle. It felt like he was pulling his sister's hair.

"I'll be taking this back, thanks," Zuko announced smugly, and he got up with this little flip. Toph could tell he was holding something metal and pointy above her in his hand. "If you want it back, you'll have to catch me first."

"Please," Crazy sneered. "I'm not falling for _this_ again."

She made a stabbing motion towards him as she stood, and Toph was pretty sure there was a fire knife in her hand from the heat that was emanating from it. Zuko dodged it.

"If you don't hand it back, I'll…" Azula started to say calmly, but Zuko had started running away in the opposite direction before she'd finished whatever her next nasty threat was going to be. "Zuzu! Zuzu, where are you going? You're running into the desert, idiot. There's nothing out there."

He turned around briefly to block the precise blasts she was throwing at him. "It's only a few miles to your tank. Perhaps I can send this back to Dad using your own hawk. I'll let him know that I'm alive and I stole the crown from you!"

"Zuzu! Don't be such a dum-dum! Get back here!"

It was to no avail. Zuko was legging it as fast as he could. Crazy was very distracted by this. She growled like a furious badgermole, then took off running after him.

"When I catch you, Dum-dum, I really will kill you! Really!"

"You've got to catch me first, and I'm still faster than you!"

Ooh, that made her mad!

Aang seemed frozen to the spot and he was facing in the direction that Zuko had run.

Toph grabbed him. "Let's get out of here!"

"But shouldn't we wait for Zuko?"

"What? No! What part of ' _I'll distract her and you guys get the hell out of her_ e' did you miss? She's distracted now, so let's go!"

-0-

Before they came up with a plan for anything, Uncle always encouraged Zuko to think about the advantages and disadvantages of any course of action. The advantage of stealing the crown headpiece and goading Azula to chase him was that it got her away from Aang. It also clearly annoyed the crap out of her. That was always a plus.

The major disadvantage was that he couldn't run forever and he had no idea what was going to happen with Azula when he stopped.

He wondered if she was really going to chase him the full distance. Then Zuko would have to make good on his threat and he didn't want to do that. He didn't want to go to Azula's tank, which would be swarming with guards. He certainly didn't want to write to his dad.

The one major advantage of everyone thinking he was dead was that it had made travelling through the Earth Kingdom that much easier. There were no wanted posters of him anywhere. Azula clearly still hadn't told their dad that Zuko was alive. It was weird. She normally loved putting him in the shit. Zuko didn't know why she was keeping it to herself. Uncle always said to think about what motivated people to do the things they did, but Zuko couldn't understand what motivated Azula in this case.

Zuko knew she hated her plans being thwarted. If she didn't want their dad to know, maybe telling him was exactly what Zuko should do.

No.

That was stupid. Telling Ozai anything was always a mistake.

Azula's mongoose lizard had fled when the fighting started. Currently, it was just the two of them on foot, the desert and the sky. But not for long. She'd probably trained it to return to the tank, which meant reinforcements would most likely be coming.

They'd run a long way. Zuko was actually surprised she was still following him. He thought she'd figure out his plan pretty quickly and head back for Aang. Zuko had just hoped that the tiny, bratty, blind earthbender would have been able to help Aang get out of there by the time Azula got back. Zuko had assumed he would only have to provide a short distraction. Yet here they were playing their longest, pettiest game of chase ever.

At least Aang would have made a clean getaway by now. He would have made it back to Katara and Sokka. Hopefully, they would be on their way to somewhere as far away from here as possible. Zuko wanted to see them again so badly. He missed all of them, especially Katara, but it was more important to lead Azula away and keep them safe.

He thought about trying to arrange a place to meet them but knew he couldn't do that with Azula nearby, in case she heard. No, it was better she assume she was chasing him because he'd done something impulsive out of jealousy and stupidity.

Azula was trailing a little bit farther behind. Zuko could hear her wheezing. She was all Sozin-style. Amazing in short bursts, but she couldn't maintain it. She was used to ending fights quickly. She didn't have his stamina. Zuko had always been better at distance running than his sister. Azula was much more of a sprinter. She wasn't filling her lungs. Fire was fuelled by the breath, so her blasts didn't have the same potency. She huffed a few death threats at him. He called her a few names. Their chase continued.

Idly, Zuko wondered how Azula would have gone in the Northern Water Tribe if she'd been made to fight every day from sun-up to sun-down. Zuko had to learn and adjust his style, but he had gotten much better. He was a little rusty now because he hadn't been actively bending in a while, but his fire had felt hotter and stronger when he was defending Aang. He'd actually had Azula on the back foot a couple of times today.

"Looks like I'm still faster than you, little sister," Zuko taunted, turning around and running backwards, just to be a snide jackass. He wasn't above being petty. It infuriated her and kept her chasing him.

"Please. You are not better than me at anything!" She was gasping to speak, clearly out of breath.

"I mean, I could do this all day, but you seem a bit tired. You want to rest?"

Even running backwards, he was still well ahead of her. Her face darkened at his words.

"Don't pretend you care about me," she growled, and she actually sounded emotional.

Zuko faltered for a second. He hadn't been expecting her to respond like that.

"How about I race you, for old time's sake," Zuko said, making sure his voice was even. He wanted to sound as unaffected as possible. "I know you're still just as competitive as I am."

"You take that back! I am more competitive!"

It was true. Zuko had always been better at running and swimming, and she'd always hated it. She wanted to be better than him at everything. The day after he'd first done the inter-island swim with Lu Ten, Azula had tried to do it herself, even though everyone said she was too little. " _Anything you can do, I can do better!"_ she had declared, but she'd gotten into trouble just past the breakers. She'd got caught in a huge riptide. Zuko had swum out to get her. She'd punched him in the shoulder once they got back to the beach.

Zuko turned back around to run properly again, then stopped abruptly. There was a ravine coming up ahead with a huge drop. He looked around and his stomach plummeted. There wasn't a path across as far as the eye could see. He had no way forward and Azula would catch up soon. He'd cornered himself. Dammit. He really was stupid.

"Zuko, hop on!" he heard his uncle call out.

The old man always had amazing timing, but this was spirit blessed. Uncle emerged from the rocks to the left, riding forth on Jasmine. Zuko had never seen a more welcome sight. "Uncle? How did you find me?"

He couldn't believe his good luck. He'd had no idea how to find his uncle and now his uncle had turned up just when Zuko needed him the most.

"I've actually been following you," Uncle confessed, sounding a little sheepish.

"I'm really glad you did." Zuko pulled himself up on the ostrich horse behind the old man.

"What should we do about her?" Uncle nodded towards Azula, who was rapidly approaching them. He looked levelly at Zuko and waited for his answer.

Zuko thought for a moment. "We can't just run away. She'll follow. She's got more resources, troops and this friggin massive tank thing. We need to figure out a way to stop her here so we can shake her." He clenched his fists in frustration, trying to think of a solution. The sharp metal of the crown bit into his palm. The solution was in his hand.

He looked at the royal headpiece. It glinted prettily in the sun. It was meant to be worn by the heir apparent. It was his by right. It had made Zuko's gut churn in anger to see it on Azula. He'd just grabbed it because he knew it would be one of the only things she'd put above catching Aang. She'd never be able to go home and face their father without it.

Azula was nearly upon them. Zuko made up his mind quickly. He held it up in his hand and drew his arm back, looking her in the eye. She stopped short, her expression alarmed when she saw what he was about to do.

"Don't do it, Dum-dum," Azula said in a tone Zuko had never heard from her before. She almost sounded worried. "Damaging that crown is high treason. You'll never be able to come home!"

"I know," he said quietly. Then he threw the crown into the ravine.

"You idiot!"

She ran to look over the edge at the crown falling, a horrified look on her face. The crown made a metallic chiming sound every time it hit a rock on the way down. Zuko suppressed a wince at every little chime. That thing was going to be dented as all hell now. He didn't want to have to throw it away, but it was his only tile left to play.

He could live without the crown as long as he got to live.

-0-

Katara had been flying around searching for the other two while the effects of whatever the bouncy girl had done to Sokka wore off. Aang must have blown the bison whistle, because Appa turned abruptly. Katara had to quickly grab her brother to stop him from rolling out. They picked Aang and Toph up a short distance away. There was smoke on the horizon from the flaming wreckage of the town where they had been fighting Zuko's nasty sister. The upside of setting a town on fire was that Aang and Toph had made friends again. Battling Zuko's nasty sister together seemed to have bonded them.

Katara guided Appa towards the hiding place they'd found where they could all rest and recuperate. The bison was exhausted. He only had a little flight left in him. She explained quickly to the other two what had happened, mostly because they were very disconcerted by Sokka's current state of being all jelly-limbs.

They landed in the little gully and Katara started setting up camp. Sokka explained his version of "the tale of his heroics", and Katara snorted and offered many sarcastic comments about the bouncy girl and even more about the gloomy girl who had stolen her Zuko knife.

Not sharpening it properly!

Katara sharpened it all the time!

She was taking good care of that knife!

Sokka was more excited about what the bouncy girl had said about Zuko copying his idea, but Katara couldn't talk about that. She was all churned up inside from hearing the two girls talk about him so casually. Everything they said made her emotions even more tangled. He was alive. He'd escaped and saved his Uncle too, and her heart had rejoiced. But he was being tracked by his nasty sister, and, even worse, the bouncy girl said he seemed super sad. Katara had felt her heart sink with worry. She didn't want him to be sad, ever.

She wondered if Zuko missed her as much as she missed him.

Toph teased her so much about Zuko leaving her because he found her annoying. Now doubt was wriggling in the back of her mind. She knew Sokka and Aang sometimes found her motherly nature irritating. She reminded herself that Zuko hadn't left her by choice. He had told Yugoda that he would have stayed with her forever if he could. But he wasn't here to say it himself.

"He did my thing with the handcuffs!" Sokka proclaimed happily. "He even used the tutu line!"

"I'll be sure to let him know how excited you are about tutus and handcuffs when I next see him," Toph sassed with an unnecessary amount of cheekiness and innuendo.

"What! You've seen him too!" Katara exclaimed.

"Yeah, he was in the crappy town with us, helping us fight his bitchy sister," Toph offered.

"Is he still there?" Katara said, incredibly alarmed. He was close? They should have gone to pick him up!

"I hope not. That place is really on fire," Toph said shortly.

"What happened?" Katara demanded, grabbing the girl by the shoulders.

"Keep your hair on, Sugar, and I'll tell you."

Together, Toph and Aang told their version of what happened. Katara hoped that they would just skip ahead to the Zuko bits, but instead she had to hear all about Toph's tea date with some old guy and how it had helped her. Toph had realised that she did want to make peace with them, and she didn't have to do everything on her own, and it was okay to let people help her.

That was _great_ and all. Katara was really _glad_ Toph had this epiphany _. Really._ They made friends, and that was also _great!_ Katara didn't want to poo-poo all over Toph's lesson in personal growth, especially not after the terrible way they had been fighting with each other. She knew politely listening was the most effective way to make peace, but still!

After what felt like an eternity, they started talking about what had happened in the town. Katara listened, aghast, and felt her heart in her throat the entire time.

"He stole something from his insane snake of a sister and she chased him for it. They ran off into the desert together," Toph finished.

"Where is he now?" Katara asked urgently. Perhaps she could climb back on Appa and fly off to find him. She knew the bison was exhausted, but she needed Zuko back.

"I don't know—ages away," Toph said, sounding surprisingly contrite. "The guy is fast! Faster than Miss Lightning Bolts. He was really legging it too. Probably 'cause she kept yelling about how she was definitely going to kill him for real when she caught him. That'd make me go faster too if I were him."

"Aang, did you guys arrange a meeting place to find him again?" Katara turned to him, knowing there was a desperate edge in her voice. They had back at the abbey. Zuko had told Aang where to go if they got separated.

"No. It was all happening too quickly, and—"

"Urgh! I can't believe you two! How could you have just left him behind with that gremlin!"

"I told you we should have waited," Aang muttered at Toph.

"Oi, in all fairness, he left us behind _,_ " Toph interjected, sounding a little indignant. "He didn't say, 'You two sit on your butts and wait around for me.' The guy said his sister was a vicious bitch who would hurt Aang and he'd distract her while we made a getaway. Then _he_ ran away from _us!_ "

A disappointed silence fell over the group, and Toph paused here. She seemed to sense what they were all thinking.

"Look, I'm sorry. We weren't braiding each other's hair and swapping stories. We were in the middle of a massive fire fight. I was just trying to keep Aang safe from Miss Lightning Bolts. I know you all miss Sokka's boyfriend—"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Sokka squawked.

"It's obvious you love him. The first thing you told me about this guy was that you shared a hot, passionate kiss with him, and it was so hot it brought you back to life, and you know what his lips feel like on your face!" Toph said, grinning widely.

"Toph! How many times! _You know_ it was a life-saving technique. I really drowned! I could have died. It wasn't sexual."

"Sure, Sokka," Toph said with a comical level of disbelief. "Next you'll tell me there's nothing kinky about the way you liked to keep him handcuffed to you."

"Why you little..."

"Look, I'm just saying that guy knew what he was doing. He's got skills," Toph said directly to Katara, cutting Sokka off with a pass of her hand. "He wasn't scared or nervous. He clearly had a plan to get away from Bitchy Pants. I'm sure he's fine."

Katara didn't feel reassured. Zuko wasn't one for thorough plans. She needed to know what happened to him. She needed to know he really had gotten away from his gremlin of a sister again. She needed to know he was safe. She wasn't ever going to be able to sleep without knowing for sure. Worrying about him was going to keep her up all night, no matter what Toph said about his skills.

Zuko had been right. Not knowing what happened to someone you loved was the worst.

-0-

La Notes:

Gorgeous readers, thanks so much for sticking with the story and mega thanks for all the feedback. I do love hearing your thoughts. They make my day. Once again, gigantic mega thanks to the beautiful and talented Boogum, who is just the best! She's an amazing beta, amazing writer and a total treasure.

So I'll still be glossing over what doesn't change, and focusing my writing on the bigger changes. Mostly this saves me re-writing scenes we've all seen. If I do re-hash some scenes, like Toph's tea date with Iroh, it's mostly just as a place-keeper, so we can keep track of things.

I changed the town fight a lot. After everything, Zuko is clearly on Aang's side, rather than three way anarchy that happened in the show. Toph adds a new dynamic to their fight and our two belligerent badasses get to meet. Between these three, they are able to team-up to contain Azula without Sokka and Katara. Mai is angrier at water tribe people in this AU, so she takes more precautions and more thoroughly ties up our lovely water tribe siblings. It takes longer for Katara and Sokka to get away from the dangerous ladies and as a result they aren't in the town.

But they get to overhear an interesting conversation at least.

The knife is a metaphor for Zuko's love. So Katara and Mai squabble over it

Now, some thoughts about the dangerous ladies:

I'll preface this by saying that Ty Lee's always been my favourite, Azula is incredibly complex and Mai gives me mixed feelings, depending on the writing. I have grown more fond of her after reading Boogum's amazing fic "the undying fire". I do have a lot of time for ATLA Mai, but I am pretending comics Mai doesn't exist. (Poor Zuko doesn't need another domineering, emotionally distant sociopath trying to control him in his life – like JFC).

It's very clear that Ty Lee is partly motivated by fear of Azula, however Mai's motivations were always more opaque. I do think she is bored of her life and is in a bit of a "annoyed-that-your-so-posh-and-bourgeois-mum-and-dad" phase – which is immature but she's only 15 and will grow out of it. Azula promises excitement and adventure and gives Mai incredible free reign. In many ways, their personalities are similar (emotionless front, coldly logical and sarcastic). They also have a similar sense of humour.

It makes sense that Mai wouldn't need the coercion Azula had to use with Ty Lee. In my version, Mai doesn't know she's meant to be hunting down Zuko. (That smile when Mai is told during the show – I just can't. That relationship can't be romantic if she is gleeful about dragging him back to be executed. JFC)

Mai isn't scared of Azula – or if she is, she doesn't show it easily. She sasses the princess, refuses to follow orders and frequently speaks her mind. However, she does all of this from a very emotionless front. I want to explore how much of her bored ennui schtick is a front, and how much is genuine. She's a tricky character, more fluid in her moral compass than Ty Lee (who knows and cares about right and wrong but is too scared to stand up for herself, let alone for a nebulous principle). However I do think Mai does have some interesting philosophical thoughts kicking around in her head. She genuinely cares for Ty Lee, Azula and Zuko (even though she doesn't understand him at all). I think she has a softer side that is very well hidden. Let's explore it, shall we? I have heaps of ideas for Book 3!

So Aang is very hard to piss off. He is easy-going and chill for the most part. He doesn't get angry or defensive easily. Earthbending is a more defensive style of bending, and it seems to be rooted in stubbornness – but these emotions don't seem to come naturally to Aang. He gets defensive when those he directly loves are hurt/threatened or when he feels the Air Nomads are being disrespected. I think Aang would be protective over Zuko, and that would help him momentarily touch that stubborn, defensive Earth-bender mindset. I thought it would be a nice foil for Aang and Zuko's journey, if they were both more motivated by protecting the other and their bending developed as a result.

There's also a bit about Toph and fire. How does Toph fight firebenders? How does she sense it? Firebenders create their own element, so she can't even feel it interacting with the earth. Most firebending moves are air born, and though Toph is incredible, she does have difficulty with sensing Aang's airbending because it is entirely air born. I think initially fire-bending will be the same for her.

This is why she incorrectly assumed that Zuko was also attacking Aang, because she couldn't "see" what he was doing easily. While Aang runs away from tasks he finds difficult, Toph rolls up her sleeves and gets to work and asks Zuko to make it move so she can feel it and get better at sensing it. Toph doesn't back down from challenges, but head butts them into submission.

So Zuko is starting to think more strategically, while still being reckless with his own personal safety. Zuko would have put protecting Aang and getting Azula away from his friend above his own well-being. However, he has internalised some of Iroh's teaching's and isn't just mindlessly reacting any more. He has very few things he can use to his advantage at this point, but with those long legs and his stamina, Zuko would be an excellent distance runner.

With everyone assuming Zuko dead, Azula is heir apparent. She is definitely in position of power over him. She hasn't told Ozai that Zuko is alive for a reason. Zuko has no idea what that reason is right now. Zuko's threat to expose the fact that Azula has been concealing things from Ozai would have hit home far more than he anticipated

Azula is very used to Zuko rising to her bait, because with those dramatic outbursts, you bet he was just plain fun to tease when they were kids. Azula would have poked him just for shiggles, even if there hadn't been all that other drama, favouritism, bitter competitiveness and being pitted against each other in the mix with their relationship. Dang, these two have such an interesting and compelling relationship and it was so well written... and this was on a kids show!

Anyway, Azula is very used to being able to easily manipulate and control Zuko. Gosh we see her know exactly how to push his buttons again and again. As a result, she has underestimated him. I guess I wanted to give him a 'win' or two, before their big show-down in Ba Sing Se.

She knows him very well, but she doesn't know the person he's growing into because Zuko's change has been more drastic. I'd say Azula is just a sharper, colder version of the girl we see in Zuko alone. Nothing has shattered her world view yet. She's changed less than he has, and she forgets that while manipulation isn't Zuko's strong point, he really _knows_ her too.

Next up – my take on bitter work. There are two characters who have already embraced working with their natural opposite in this fic, and they will have some surprising conversations about what they've learned.

Also Aang will finally find out about the sneaky trainging in the North. Better late than never, eh Aang?

Until then, my lovelies

La Notes:

Gorgeous readers, thanks so much for sticking with the story and mega thanks for all the feedback. I do love hearing your thoughts. They make my day. Once again, gigantic mega thanks to the beautiful and talented Boogum, who is just the best! She's an amazing beta, amazing writer and a total treasure.

So I'll still be glossing over what doesn't change, and focusing my writing on the bigger changes. Mostly this saves me re-writing scenes we've all seen. If I do re-hash some scenes, like Toph's tea date with Iroh, it's mostly just as a place-keeper, so we can keep track of things.

I changed the town fight a lot. After everything, Zuko is clearly on Aang's side, rather than three way anarchy that happened in the show. Toph adds a new dynamic to their fight and our two belligerent badasses get to meet. Between these three, they are able to team-up to contain Azula without Sokka and Katara. Mai is angrier at water tribe people in this AU, so she takes more precautions and more thoroughly ties up our lovely water tribe siblings. It takes longer for Katara and Sokka to get away from the dangerous ladies and as a result they aren't in the town.

But they get to overhear an interesting conversation at least.

The knife is a metaphor for Zuko's love. So Katara and Mai squabble over it

Now, some thoughts about the dangerous ladies:

I'll preface this by saying that Ty Lee's always been my favourite, Azula is incredibly complex and Mai gives me mixed feelings, depending on the writing. I have grown more fond of her after reading Boogum's amazing fic "the undying fire". I do have a lot of time for ATLA Mai, but I am pretending comics Mai doesn't exist. (Poor Zuko doesn't need another domineering, emotionally distant sociopath trying to control him in his life – like JFC).

It's very clear that Ty Lee is partly motivated by fear of Azula, however Mai's motivations were always more opaque. I do think she is bored of her life and is in a bit of a "annoyed-that-your-so-posh-and-bourgeois-mum-and-dad" phase – which is immature but she's only 15 and will grow out of it. Azula promises excitement and adventure and gives Mai incredible free reign. In many ways, their personalities are similar (emotionless front, coldly logical and sarcastic). They also have a similar sense of humour.

It makes sense that Mai wouldn't need the coercion Azula had to use with Ty Lee. In my version, Mai doesn't know she's meant to be hunting down Zuko. (That smile when Mai is told during the show – I just can't. That relationship can't be romantic if she is gleeful about dragging him back to be executed. JFC)

Mai isn't scared of Azula – or if she is, she doesn't show it easily. She sasses the princess, refuses to follow orders and frequently speaks her mind. However, she does all of this from a very emotionless front. I want to explore how much of her bored ennui schtick is a front, and how much is genuine. She's a tricky character, more fluid in her moral compass than Ty Lee (who knows and cares about right and wrong but is too scared to stand up for herself, let alone for a nebulous principle). However I do think Mai does have some interesting philosophical thoughts kicking around in her head. She genuinely cares for Ty Lee, Azula and Zuko (even though she doesn't understand him at all). I think she has a softer side that is very well hidden. Let's explore it, shall we? I have heaps of ideas for Book 3!

So Aang is very hard to piss off. He is easy-going and chill for the most part. He doesn't get angry or defensive easily. Earthbending is a more defensive style of bending, and it seems to be rooted in stubbornness – but these emotions don't seem to come naturally to Aang. He gets defensive when those he directly loves are hurt/threatened or when he feels the Air Nomads are being disrespected. I think Aang would be protective over Zuko, and that would help him momentarily touch that stubborn, defensive Earth-bender mindset. I thought it would be a nice foil for Aang and Zuko's journey, if they were both more motivated by protecting the other and their bending developed as a result.

There's also a bit about Toph and fire. How does Toph fight firebenders? How does she sense it? Firebenders create their own element, so she can't even feel it interacting with the earth. Most firebending moves are air born, and though Toph is incredible, she does have difficulty with sensing Aang's airbending because it is entirely air born. I think initially fire-bending will be the same for her.

This is why she incorrectly assumed that Zuko was also attacking Aang, because she couldn't "see" what he was doing easily. While Aang runs away from tasks he finds difficult, Toph rolls up her sleeves and gets to work and asks Zuko to make it move so she can feel it and get better at sensing it. Toph doesn't back down from challenges, but head butts them into submission.

So Zuko is starting to think more strategically, while still being reckless with his own personal safety. Zuko would have put protecting Aang and getting Azula away from his friend above his own well-being. However, he has internalised some of Iroh's teaching's and isn't just mindlessly reacting any more. He has very few things he can use to his advantage at this point, but with those long legs and his stamina, Zuko would be an excellent distance runner.

With everyone assuming Zuko dead, Azula is heir apparent. She is definitely in position of power over him. She hasn't told Ozai that Zuko is alive for a reason. Zuko has no idea what that reason is right now. Zuko's threat to expose the fact that Azula has been concealing things from Ozai would have hit home far more than he anticipated

Azula is very used to Zuko rising to her bait, because with those dramatic outbursts, you bet he was just plain fun to tease when they were kids. Azula would have poked him just for shiggles, even if there hadn't been all that other drama, favouritism, bitter competitiveness and being pitted against each other in the mix with their relationship. Dang, these two have such an interesting and compelling relationship and it was so well written... and this was on a kids show!

Anyway, Azula is very used to being able to easily manipulate and control Zuko. Gosh we see her know exactly how to push his buttons again and again. As a result, she has underestimated him. I guess I wanted to give him a 'win' or two, before their big show-down in Ba Sing Se.

She knows him very well, but she doesn't know the person he's growing into because Zuko's change has been more drastic. I'd say Azula is just a sharper, colder version of the girl we see in Zuko alone. Nothing has shattered her world view yet. She's changed less than he has, and she forgets that while manipulation isn't Zuko's strong point, he really _knows_ her too.

Next up – my take on bitter work. There are two characters who have already embraced working with their natural opposite in this fic, and they will have some surprising conversations about what they've learned.

Also Aang will finally find out about the sneaky trainging in the North. Better late than never, eh Aang?

Until then, my lovelies


	7. Bitter work

Katara was obsessed with finding Zuko again. She tried to sneak back to the village to look for him during the night, even though she was exhausted, but Toph felt her footsteps anyway.

Groaning inwardly, Toph followed in the hope of talking Katara out of her stupid idea. They had a quick argument about the merits of her stupid idea. Katara didn't see reason. Katara was going to do it no matter what Toph said. That was oddly impressive. Katara was getting a little reckless and very stubborn, but Toph liked reckless, stubborn, badass Katara a lot more than scoldy, motherly Katara. She went along with the older girl as backup.

When they arrived on the outskirts of the town, they saw that the tank had arrived there and the place was full of Fire Nation troops. Katara thought they could find information and pointed out the enormous tent that had been set up. It would be a good place to eavesdrop.

Katara wanted to spy on the Gremlin?

Nice.

They crept closer to the largest, fancy tent, and hid behind some supply boxes. This was risky, but Toph could tell there weren't any guards in the vicinity at that moment. They were patrolling the perimeter. They could hear someone inside the tent inform Gremlin that there wasn't a sign of the fugitive.

"It's like the Dragon of the West just vanished," the poor sod said, sounding terrified. Apparently the wind from the oncoming storm had disrupted any tracks.

Gremlin was displeased. "Tell me, can I catch the wind, chain it up and then sentence it to the Boiling Rock for incompetence?"

"No, Your Highness."

"Shame. Somebody has to pay for today's errors. If it is not to be the wind, then you will do. Take him away." She gestured extravagantly and two men came in from outside to "escort" the poor sap out.

 _Dang,_ what a scary bag of nuts.

As soon as the officers left, Gremlin started ranting.

"Incompetence! They can't have just _disappeared._ They aren't that clever—especially not Zuko." Gremlin began pacing as she spoke. "He's wasted a whole day of my time. I really am going to have to kill him for this. But how to do it..." She made a thinking noise here and tapped her chin with one finger. "You know, at first I had gentle murdering plans, like a nice sister."

" _Gentle_ murder?" came a sullen voice, but there was an element of sarcasm there too. It was so subtle that Gremlin didn't pick up on it, or if she did, she didn't acknowledge it.

"I was going make him die of boredom. That's gentle," Gremlin replied simply.

"I don't think you can die of boredom. I lived in Omashu and that didn't kill me. I only wanted to die."

 _Oh dang!_ Omashu was going to need some ice for that burn. That was brutal.

"Well, Zuko was going to want to die when I was through with him. I was going get the orchestra to put on twenty days of music and punish him through song. You know, for old time's sake."

There was _something_ in her voice that made Toph curious. Toph wondered if Gremlin was having a human emotion, like caring for her brother. Naturally, Gremlin ruined it by saying less than a second later, "But he's pushed me too far now! Now it has to be nasty, painful, slow murder."

There was a silence. Gloomy friend didn't have a response to that.

"It's too bad, but Zuzu always brings trouble on himself. He always has to do things the hard way, the dummy." Gremlin shrugged, but that _something_ was there again. Toph wasn't falling for it this time. She wasn't going to think it was fondness or concern. Gremlin clearly didn't have human emotions, because she was a gremlin, and gremlins didn't have feelings.

"I think I'm going to make him run all day, every day, until he becomes the first person ever to die from too much running," Gremlin announced. "No, scratch that! There'd be fresh air involved. Zuko likes fresh air. It has to be something worse. What does he really hate? Ty Lee?"

She paced across the tent. Both the other girls were nervous now, but one was more nervous than the other. Gremlin's murderous ranting creeped her friends out? Interesting.

"He really hates people thinking he got eaten?" Super nervous, bouncy girl pointed out. So Bouncy was actually named Ty Lee.

Gremlin paused and made another thoughtful noise, like she was mulling an idea over and weighing up its merits. "Mai, any luck on finding an actual cannibal who likes to eat the eyeballs first?"

"No. Also, I don't think cannibals advertise their preference for which bit they eat first. I don't even think cannibals advertise ... at all," the flat, gloomy voice replied slowly from inside the tent.

So the other one was named Mai. Toph was impressed that the voice gave no emotion away, considering how fast Mai's heart was beating. She was a smooth operator, that Mai.

"If you want to kill him so much, why don't you just shoot him with lightning? Quick and simple," Smooth Operator Mai suggested.

 _Dang,_ she sounded ice-cold. But Toph knew better.

"Quick and simple is not an option for Zuko at this point in time," Crazy informed her flatly. "I'm thinking cruel and unusual as well as slow and painful. After the nonsense with the keys, and now the crown, Zuko has to suffer." She sat down on a chair next to her friend and took a scroll.

There was a silence from inside the tent. None of them were close to relaxed, but you wouldn't know it from how all three of them were pretending to be chilling out together.

"Listen, girls, Zuko knew exactly what he was doing today. _He knows the consequences_. He made his choice," Crazy Pants said. She sounded like she was trying to justify herself to the other two girls.

Katara gripped that knife she loved so tightly. Her body was coiled for action. Dang, she was super angry. Toph put her hand on the older girl's shoulder to steady her.

Toph _liked_ reckless, badass Katara, but she also needed reckless, badass Katara to keep her head and not do anything stupid, like storm in there all on her own to serve up some fresh bitch-slaps to Gremlin in the middle of a heavily-armed Fire Nation encampment. That wasn't going to go well for them.

Footsteps were approaching. Toph grabbed Katara and pulled her back. Katara was a bit reluctant to go. Toph pointed out the footsteps and the imminent danger they posed. There was also the fact that the Fire Nation hadn't found her boyfriend either, so at least she knew he got away again. And third, Zuko had probably run as far away from his nutbag gremlin sister as humanly possible, judging from the way she was ranting in there, so was no longer in the area.

Seriously, who would stick around with the Gremlin nearby?

Katara seemed very crestfallen by Toph's conclusion, but she agreed that Toph was right. This was a huge concession on Katara's part. Sweetness did love being right, after all. They slunk back to the camp together.

"Thanks for coming with me, Toph," Katara said once it was safe to talk. "I appreciate it."

"No problem. I'm always up for reckless midnight adventures. I got your back."

Katara smiled at this.

"Sorry, we couldn't find Zuko. I get why you liked him so much now," Toph offered. Now that she and Katara had made peace, she could throw her a bone and say something nice about her boyfriend. " _Dang_ , he was in shape! You fancy him because he's super fit, right?"

"I actually like him for his personality, Toph," Katara said a little primly.

"Yikes, personality. That's the consolation prize. How ugly is this dude?"

"No, he's beautiful!"

Hahaha. Jackpot.

-0-

Zuko and Iroh covered their tracks and hunkered down in a little hidden cabin a great distance from the wrecked village. It was in an elevated position and gave them a good vantage point. They saw Azula's troops search the area for them for a day or so. Another group scaled down the ravine to retrieve the crown. Then everyone got back into the tank and it moved on.

After making sure Azula's troops had left the area, Uncle said he wanted to resume Zuko's training. He had a few firebending moves he wanted to show Zuko, ones that Azula and Ozai didn't even know. He wanted to show Zuko how to protect himself from their lightning.

Uncle was clearly just going to act like Zuko hadn't done anything wrong and move on. Sometimes his uncle's goodness put Zuko to shame.

"Aren't you angry at me?" Zuko said quietly.

He'd never been able to leave well enough alone. He needed to bring up their fight and apologise properly. Zuko had been so disrespectful. His father had burned him for much, much less. Uncle let Zuko be so rude to him. Uncle just didn't leave him. He stayed around. He followed Zuko. He turned up when Zuko needed him the most. He was always just there, being patient and forgiving. Zuko felt like he didn't deserve his uncle's forgiveness.

"For what?" Uncle said, sitting back down in front of Zuko.

"For shouting at you and running away. You should be angry with me."

"No, Zuko. I was never angry at you," Uncle said softly as he suddenly leaned forward and pulled Zuko into a huge hug. "I was worried when you ran away. You are all I have left to love in the world and I need you with me."

 _Your uncle needs you,_ Yugoda had told Zuko, but he hadn't understood what she meant then. They both only had each other. They had to stick together.

"Uncle, I'm so sorry I yelled all those things at you and ran away. I don't think you're a big, fat, lying liar who lies."

"No, Zuko, your description was apt." Uncle pulled away from the hug and held him at arm's length. He looked Zuko in the eyes and said sincerely, "I am the one who should be sorry. I did lie to you, but it was definitely not because I think you are unintelligent."

"Why then?"

"My Flower Friends," Uncle began, but then he looked a little irritated with himself for actually saying _Flower Friends._ He shook his head. "The White Lotus keep their organisation secret for a reason. It is a resistance movement, a rebellion against the war. People's lives depend on us maintaining the utmost secrecy. I have engaged in traitorous things and I did not want you implicated in treason."

"That hardly matters now. I just did a whole bunch of super mega treason in front of Azula," Zuko said with a rueful shrug.

It had finally happened. He'd done real, super mega treason. He'd attacked his sister, the crown heir, to protect Aang and literally had _thrown away the crown_ all in one day. He'd done something so treasonous he'd never be able to un-treason it. He'd done it in front of Azula, who would always hold it over him now.

"I'm so stupid," Zuko stated bitterly.

"No. You're not stupid! It was a bold move that distracted our adversary, delivered a blow to her ego, and gave us a chance to escape certain doom. I considered it rather clever. It was better than my idea. You would not have liked that."

"What was your idea?"

"I would have used my bending to severely injure and incapacitate her."

"But then she would have been really hurt and all alone in the desert."

"Yes," Uncle said flatly, though he looked at Zuko curiously. "She would have been unable to follow us or move from that spot for some time."

"She's my sister. Shouldn't I try to get along with her?" Zuko ventured, a little bit hesitant.

He hadn't really considered that option. He didn't want to _hurt_ Azula. She was a ruthless, cruel, bullying liar who really spent far too much time sharpening her nails, but she was still his little sister. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to leave her horribly injured in the desert, even after everything she had done to him. Azula would laugh at him if she knew his thoughts. She'd tease him for being weak and too sentimental ... but he still loved her.

"Try and get along with her?" Uncle repeated, sounding incredibly confused and looking at Zuko like he thought Zuko had grown a second head. "Zuko, she's _crazy_ and she needs to go _down_."

 _She wasn't always,_ Zuko thought to himself, feeling a little uncomfortable and not knowing what to say to his uncle.

Mum had said Azula was smaller than him so Zuko had to help look after her, use gentle hands, and set a good example because he was the oldest. Zuko felt like he'd let Azula down somehow. Maybe if he had been a better big brother to her, the way Sokka was to Katara, Azula wouldn't have grown into such a garbage fire of a human being.

"I noticed that you have found another source to fuel your bending," Uncle ventured, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen. "What was it for you?

"Protecting people."

It had been as simple as that all along. His fire had felt hotter and stronger when he was protecting Lee from Gow. It had been a roaring bonfire inside of him when he'd been defending Aang from Azula. The first few fire whips had surprised Zuko with just how intense they had felt. Zuko knew what Azula would do to Aang if she ever got her ridiculously sharp talons into him. Zuko had been determined to protect Aang from that, super-mega-treason be damned.

Aang was his friend, but more importantly than that, it had been the right thing to do. In the end, Zuko hadn't needed anger at all, just the bone-deep conviction that he was doing the right thing. It had been just like in the village with those hedgehog-fucking bullies. All those bastards who abused their power and hurt the innocent were the ones who needed to go down!

Okay, maybe he got _a little angry_ when he saw people being hurt and mistreated, but it felt like a different sort of anger to the bitter fury he'd felt on the _Wani_. It felt like a righteous kind of anger.

Zuko wondered if this was how Katara felt all the time. She had been so righteously angry about the way women were treated up North. He remembered with a smile how she had practised ranting at him one night next to the pond …

 _Zuko listened to all the things she was going to yell at the Northern men when she was finally made a master bender. He was mesmerised by how beautiful she was, shouting about fairness passionately at the ice walls. She sounded so inspiring. She made him want to do better, be better, so he could help her more. Zuko clapped when she finished. She gave a small, shy bow and asked what he thought._

 _Zuko agreed with everything she'd said. He told her that if he were some sexist dickhead with an inferiority complex, Katara's sheer badassery would be terrifying and change his mind completely and instantly._

" _Did I seem too angry?"_

 _Zuko was a bit confused by her question. He liked how angry she was, because it showed how much she cared. That made him care more too. Katara seemed very pleased by this answer. She pretty much pulled him down by the front of his parka to kiss him fiercely._

" _I just want it to come out right," she said. "I can't help but think about all the little girls here who won't be allowed to bend unless I make them change their stupid rules. I can make the world better for them." She turned her incredibly blue eyes to him and asked, "Do you feel like that sometimes, like we're fighting for things so much bigger than the two of us?"_

 _Zuko felt discomfited then. He'd just kind of borrowed Katara's cause when she asked him to help her train. He hadn't been fighting for much more than his own survival for a while now. Before that, he had only been fighting and chasing Aang to get back to the Fire Nation because he'd wanted to go home. It seemed small and petty compared to the huge sweeping compassion Katara felt for everyone and everything. Zuko was in awe of her._

" _I want the world to be a better place too," he answered simply. "Maybe helping you is how I'm meant to do that."_

 _She'd like that answer too._

Zuko smiled at the memory, feeling a little surprised at himself. Mostly thinking of Katara made him sad because of how much he missed her. But for a brief moment in his life he had done something really good and helped her. Zuko wondered if she had ever gotten to give her speech to Pakku and Arnook.

He hoped so.

It had been a good speech.

-0-

Toph and the others left the area the next morning. Weirdly, they walked for ages because of 'Sokka's instincts.' Toph was surprised that Aang and Katara just went along with this without giving much push-back. Appa was ready to fly again. She didn't get why they were tramping through the bushes when they had a giant, fluffy flying monster to ride.

"Leave it, Toph. Sokka's instincts are annoyingly accurate," Katara grumbled.

Since Toph couldn't tease Sokka about his instincts, she started teasing him about his cute little man-crush on Zuko. Teasing Sokka was even more hilarious than teasing Katara. He kept giving her _so much material._ The kiss, the handcuffs, their meat-eating date, his love of wrestling with this Zuko dude—all of it was golden. Sokka's flabbergasted reactions were the best. He often let more juicy details slip while he was protesting. He'd actually said, "Just because I liked wrestling with him doesn't mean I want him to kiss me again!"

Toph was making such a meal out of this! She could dine out on this comment for weeks!

The Water Tribe siblings were heaps of fun to tease, and this was great because Aang was no fun to tease. He would, in all sincerity, say dumb shit like, "I love Zuko. I hope we find him again soon."

Toph would point out how drippy that sounded.

Aang would shrug and say, "I love all of my friends. You are one of my friends now, so I love you too."

You just couldn't tease that attitude! It was like throwing rocks into porridge. There was just no impact.

All of that teasing aside, Toph was ninety-eight percent sure that Katara was actually the one who had been _hiding the sausage_ with Zuko. Their midnight escapade just proved it. Katara was pining for this guy so bad. It was kind of obvious.

Did Aang know?

He had such a massive crush on Katara.

But that was mega obvious too.

Whatever.

It would all come out sooner or later when they found this Zuko guy again. Toph was much more on-board for finding this dude now that she had met him. Watching these four idiots interact would be top level hilarious. Toph already knew so many things she could nonchalantly throw into conversations to make that shit awkward and entertaining as fuck. She was going to start by asking Zuko who was a better kisser out of Sokka and Katara, just to see what happened.

She shared Katara's evident disappointment (girl wasn't even bothering to hide it), when Sokka aborted their idea to search around the area. Sokka very quickly surmised that the whole area was crawling with firebenders this morning. Appa was too noticeable to fly closer. Katara protested. Sokka sighed in a long suffering manner.

"Look, I'm not saying this to be a jerk, but we have no idea where Zuko is right now. We can't go striding into enemy territory on the off chance he's sitting around, out in the open, waiting for us to find him again. Zuko's _not stupid._ He's a ninja. He's not going to be easy to find if all this fiery, firebender stomping about is happening. He likes being alive. He's probably miles and miles away by now."

Katara made a face.

"Listen, Zuko always turns up sooner or later. He'll find us again," Sokka said, surprisingly gentle as he gave Katara's shoulder a little squeeze. "Right, now we need to find a good spot for Aang to learn earthbending. What kind of a place do you need, Toph?"

Toph grinned.

It was time to get down to business and make an earthbender out of Twinkletoes.

-0-

"Fire is the element of power." Uncle drew the Fire Nation symbol in the dirt. "The people of the Fire Nation have desire and will and energy and drive to achieve what they want. We draw our fire from the breath and it is influenced by our emotional state. When you were very sad and unsure of your path, your fire weakened. But this happens to many firebenders when they suffer a life-changing loss. It is nothing to be ashamed of." Uncle looked at him levelly and without judgement.

Zuko nodded to show he understood.

Uncle's face broke into a wide grin. "But you discovered an alternate source of your inner fire for yourself! Your fire is not fuelled by anger now, but by desire to do what is right and defend innocent people."

He put his hand on Zuko's shoulder affectionately, and Zuko flushed. He didn't feel like he'd done anything remarkable.

Uncle made it worse by saying, "You did great, Zuko. You've made me so proud."

Now Zuko was feeling really embarrassed. His face was going bright red, he was sure. Uncle had been saying lots of nice things to him since they met up again, and Zuko was having a hard time getting used to it. It was nice. He liked hearing his uncle say that he was proud of him, but it still made him feel like his stomach was all twisted up. "Thanks," he muttered.

Uncle kept smiling widely at him.

"Don't make it _weird,_ Uncle. Can we just get back to the lesson?"

Uncle talked about the four elements and their different philosophies, and how wisdom had to be drawn from more than one place or it became rigid and stale. It sounded like Avatar stuff to Zuko. Uncle agreed, then explained that any bender could use a better knowledge of the other elements to make themselves stronger as well.

"That makes sense. Firebending with waterbending moves was better for me when I had to fight up North," Zuko said.

"Can you tell me more about that?" Uncle asked quietly, looking curious but not pushing for answers.

Zuko finally told his uncle the details about being used for combat training every day, and how he'd had to learn to adjust his style because fighting Sozin-style was too exhausting. He talked about figuring out waterbending moves so he could teach Katara and how much of an overlap there was with firebending. He even talked about Yugoda's healing book and how she thought that the four nations could learn from each other for medical purposes, so it wasn't just benders who were better for understanding the other nations. When he'd finished, his uncle was looking at him really strangely.

"Why are you making that face at me?" Zuko asked. "Did I say something wrong?"

"I love you, Zuko," Uncle said simply. "You make me so proud."

"Uncle, you're making it _weird_ again!"

-0-

"You're working with your natural opposite." Katara said in her cool, soothing voice.

She helped Aang understand why earthbending was so tricky for him. She was being so wise today. She sounded almost like a real teacher or an air monk. He called her Sifu Katara, which made her much happier. She'd smiled widely when Aang said it.

Aang felt much happier too. Waterbending with her had helped so much. The day was warm, the river was cool, and Katara was beautiful in the water. She always wanted to sooth his hurts. He wasn't quite ready to go back and face Toph yet. Toph was just so stubborn and forceful and demanding as a teacher. Aang really wanted to please her, but it seemed so hard. He sat with Katara by the water.

"So, working with my natural opposite, do you have any advice on how to make that easier, Sifu Katara? You ever had to learn firebending?" Aang joked light-heartedly, never in a million years expecting Katara to answer yes.

 _Huh?_

"Look, I may as well tell you now. I think it might help," Katara said. She started picking at the reeds nervously, winding it around her fingers in a variety of ways.

She told Aang about how she had trained with Zuko up North. Zuko had tried to copy the masters he was fighting with his fire and then she had tried to copy him with her water. She smiled and said that, really, they had both learned to work with their natural opposite. Katara felt like doing this with Zuko was why she had advanced through the waterbending levels so quickly.

Aang absorbed this. It sounded like Katara had been spending _a lot_ of time with Zuko in the Northern Water Tribe.

"I was with him nearly every night," she said when Aang asked.

"How will this help me?" Aang asked, trying to keep the sharp tone from his voice. He wasn't sure how he felt about this. His stomach got all knotted and rumbly.

"Well, fire is a passionate element. You've got to be determined and brave to use it. You have to see what you want and be willing to go for it, no matter how hard it is. I could copy Zuko more easily when I thought about how much I wanted to prove myself, how much I wanted to change things up North, and how determined I was to be the best. See, I was tapping into that passion that firebenders have."

"Well, I'm not learning firebending, so that doesn't help."

Katara seemed momentarily taken aback by Aang's tone. He felt bad for snapping at her, but he didn't like hearing Katara talk that way about firebending. He had no idea why. The way she was talking made his skin feel hot and itchy. Suddenly, without any rhyme or reason, he felt super angry at Zuko.

"See, I was thinking that if you could tap into that feeling behind earthbending, it could come more easily to you," Katara explained, always patient with him. She didn't snap back, even though Aang had been so rude to her. "Look at Toph. She's so stubborn and practical and unyielding. She never backs down. Maybe think about something you would never back down about. What would you defend against everything?"

"The Air Nomads. If I hadn't been frozen, I would have protected my home."

"If I hadn't been frozen" were words Aang tried to never think, because it always led to thinking _If_ _I hadn't been frozen, how different would the world be?_ He knew he shouldn't go down that path full of if onlys _._

"There you are. Think about Toph saying bad things about the Air Nomads and you'll want to throw a rock back at her pretty quickly," Katara suggested with a smile.

"Thanks, Katara." Aang was silent for a few moments, wondering if he should say what he was really thinking. "You know, it's weird that earth and air are so different. Because of the war, it seems more like fire and air are opposites. The Fire Nation is so ruthless and warmongering now, and we were so peaceful."

He wasn't sure why, but he felt the sudden desire to paint the Fire Nation and firebenders in a bad light for the first time.

"I always figured firebending would be the hardest for me to learn, because that's really different now after the war. Firebending has changed so much in the last hundred years."

"Different how?" Katara asked, looking curious. "Bending is bending. It can't have changed that much."

"Zuko said there is only one firebending style now. I think it's called Imperial Style or Sozin Style. It sounds bad. It sounds like a weird mix of all the super aggressive techniques from the other styles, because they're _always making war_." Aang looked at Katara meaningfully.

Sure, firebenders were passionate. But they also ... you know ... broke the world and a made a lot of war. They could be good people, but they were also the bad guys here. He hadn't liked Katara sighing about passionate firebenders one little bit.

"I wasn't sure how to tell Zuko because I didn't want to insult his country," Aang explained, "but they're firebending all wrong now. When I was a kid, there were heaps of different firebending styles. It was almost like each island had its own bending style. Glass Island Style was actually a mix of airbending and firebending."

"Glass Island Style?"

"It was the island where they made glass. The Fire Nation was never very creative with their names for places, eh?"

She smiled at the joke.

"It's actually really close to the Western Air Temple," he continued. "When I was a kid, airbenders and firebenders worked really closely together there to make glass. Monk Gyatso took me and Kuzon to see it. It actually looked awesome. We tried to copy the benders and make some glass ourselves ..." he trailed off sheepishly, but he still couldn't help smiling.

That day had been so much fun! He and Kuzon had gotten into so much trouble. Heaps of glass had gotten broken, but they had finally figured out how to do it. Even though Kuzon burned all his fingertips, he said it was worth it. They'd made matching bison figurines—that's what Kuzon called them, but they were really just blobs of glass that turned out okay.

The Air Nomads didn't believe in personal possessions, but Aang couldn't bear to leave it behind. He'd hung it from his window back at the Southern Air Temple. It caught the morning sun as it rose and painted colours on Aang's walls. It had made him think of Kuzon every morning. When Aang went back to the Air Temple with Sokka and Katara, he had seen it smashed on the floor. No one had cleaned it up.

He'd felt sad to see it destroyed and knew this was why the Air Nomads didn't believe in personal possessions, because Aang was getting sad over _a thing._ The monks said there was no point in being sad over _things. Things_ didn't matter. You were never free if you were weighed down by _things._ Still, sometimes Aang really missed Kuzon. He kind of wished, in his heart of hearts, that he still had that _thing._

Aang thought of Kuzon and instantly felt so guilty for thinking badly about firebenders and the Fire Nation.

"The Air Nomads and the Fire Nation were actually really close when I was a kid. Kuzon said it was because fire needs air. He thought the nations needed each other. The Fire Nation needed the Air Nomads to bring the fun, and we needed them to give our non-benders a warm, welcoming home. Kuzon's own dad was a Lost Zephyr," Aang said, trying to make up for saying such nasty things.

The Fire Nation had been a great place a hundred years ago. It had just lost its way.

"What's a Lost Zephyr?" Katara asked, looking curious.

"Well, you could only live in the temples if you were an airbender because it was just too hard for non-benders. If any non-benders were born, we would wait until they were ten years old so we could properly test for bending. After that, we normally sent them to live with families in the Fire Nation ... sometimes the Earth Kingdom, but mostly the Fire Nation. Kuzon's dad had been raised by Monk Gyatso and they stayed in touch even when Kuzon's dad got sent away."

"What?" Katara said sharply, and there was something in her tone that Aang really didn't like.

"It wasn't a bad thing!" Aang snapped, feeling defensive. "Kuzon's family were actually going to adopt this non-bending girl from the Eastern Air Temple. She was going to have such a good life, that girl." Aang sighed.

Aang had remembered really not liking hearing Kuzon talk about her. Aang had deliberately "lost" one of her letters that they had been bringing to Kuzon. Aang had felt so ashamed. He confessed all, but Kuzon hadn't even been mad.

" _Aang, don't be jealous. Our family is getting bigger. It's a good thing."_

" _Our family?"_

" _Sure, you're like my brother already ... and aren't you the one who told me about families being the people you choose to be around?"_

"Aang. That is horrible!" Katara said, looking at him with wide, disgusted eyes. "Your people just sent all the non-benders away? How on earth did their parents feel?"

Aang's stomach crawled angrily, but he breathed in and remained calm, trying to sound peaceful and wise as he explained it like the monks had used to. "We didn't have parents. We were separated from our birth-giver and sent to other temples when we were babies. It's bad to be too attached to your birth-giver. The monks were helping our spirits be free."

He felt angry that Katara had said what his people did was horrible, but he reasoned that she was only saying these things because she didn't understand. He was trying to be so patient with her, but it was getting more and more difficult to be calm and patient while watching Katara's face become angrier.

"It's bad to be a non-bender and it's bad to be attached to your mother? You think someone has to be separated from their mother to be free? You think that's good?"

Aang tried to tell her it would have been cruel to keep non-benders in the temples. The Air Nomads had really happy childhoods. They got to make families out of people they _actually liked_ rather than just people they were related to by blood. He remembered explaining this to Zuko, back in ice prison. Zuko had understood.

But Katara didn't even want to understand. She wasn't listening. She just started talking about how important family was and Water Tribe ways. Abandoning and rejecting your children because they weren't benders wasn't the same thing as freedom. That wasn't freedom. That was cruel.

"See, this is why we _never_ sent kids to the Water Tribes. Water Tribe people never understand. You're all so cold and rigid about this stuff!" Aang muttered darkly.

Then Katara said something else that really hurt Aang's feelings.

Suddenly, he started shouting at her too.

Who was this horrible person saying these things to his dearest friend? Aang had spoken badly of the Fire Nation _and_ the Water Tribes in one afternoon. His skin was hot and itchy. His nerves were jumpy-jangly. He felt so mad! What was happening to him?

The monks had always stressed how important family was to other cultures. Their ways were not Air Nomad ways, but they were still valid and still needed to be respected. Aang knew he wasn't listening to Katara's ranting about families—but she wasn't respecting and listening about his beliefs either!

"Well, I think the Air Nomads are wrong, Aang!" Katara shouted as she stood up. "I'm not going to argue about this with you anymore!"

She strode away.

Aang was fuming!

He happily went back to his earthbending lesson with Toph. She was better company right now. At least she wasn't saying horrible things about the Air Nomads.

Toph asked him what had gotten his knickers in a twist. Aang moaned loudly to her about how ridiculous and unreasonable talking to Katara could be sometimes. Couldn't she see that she was the one who was wrong!

"Do it now," Toph said, a gleam in her eyes when he'd finished. "Earthbend now. Look at that rock and think about Katara saying the Air Benders are wrong, and do it!"

He split the rock easily.

Katara had been right about one thing. Aang was very stubborn and protective about the Air Nomads. He'd defend them against anything, even his dearest friend.

-0-

Zuko picked up the theory behind lightning redirection rather quickly, perhaps because he'd already had extensive practise adapting waterbending moves. Zuko wanted to practise with real lightning and Iroh had flat out refused. He wasn't going to throw lightning at him. Iroh was horrified at the very thought, but Zuko was rather insistent. They had a small squabble which ended when Iroh changed the subject completely and asked that Zuko teach him some of the forms he'd learned up North.

"You want _me_ to teach _you?_ " Zuko said, making a surprised face.

"Yes. I think there is much I could learn from you."

"Err, okay."

Zuko had shown Iroh some of the new forms he'd taught himself. The lesson went into the next day. Zuko's style had evolved a lot. There were some similarities to Barrier Island Style, but no one had been formally taught that in nearly a hundred years. All other bending styles had been "discouraged" by Sozin. It was decreed that everyone should devote themselves to mastering Imperial Style bending, a new blend of the most violent moves from all the dominant styles. It was Sozin's preferred weapon of conquest. People began to refer to it as Sozin Style.

While Iroh assumed there would still be a few practitioners who bent the old styles in secret, he had never come across them. He had only read about the other styles in bending scrolls. He'd never actually seen anyone create a wave with fire the way Zuko did. It was impressive. Iroh felt like his heart would burst, watching his nephew. He had never been prouder of anyone or anything in his entire life.

He had to stop expressing this sentiment because Zuko got grumpy with him for making it "weird."

"What's so weird about telling you that I am proud of you?" Iroh asked.

"You've never said it once before, but today you have said it eighteen times!" Zuko grumbled.

"Well, I am proud of you. I really should have said it many times before. You make me proud every day."

"Urgh, will you stop already!" Zuko groaned, before giving Iroh a strange look. "What's gotten into you?"

Iroh didn't know how to say it without annoying Zuko further, but he had realised something about his nephew. It had only been confirmed from the way Zuko had started talking about his time away from his uncle in such a flat, explanatory tone. He wasn't upset or angry at all. Iroh realised that Zuko was incredibly resilient to suffering and mistreatment and considered it normal. He was used to being hurt, and it had been going on long before he had gone to the Northern Water Tribe.

Iroh knew that Ozai and Azula had always been cruel to Zuko. They particularly delighted in making him feel inferior about his bending skills, his kindness, and his intelligence. Even Iroh had been very sparse in his praise aboard the _Wani_. Now, Zuko had a hard time hearing good things about himself. When Iroh told Zuko that he was approaching master-bending level and praised the skills he'd developed up North, Zuko didn't seem to believe him. For that, Iroh was exceedingly sorry.

Iroh felt like he had failed Zuko and he had been trying to make up for lost time. Perhaps Iroh had been laying the "I love yous" and "I'm so proud of yous" on a little too thick though, because he was clearly making Zuko discomfited. Iroh tried to explain this.

"Uncle, _I'm fine_. Really. I don't want you to treat me differently 'cause you feel _sorry_ for me."

"I don't feel sorry for you. I just—"

"If you say you love me or you are proud of me again, I'm storming off to that stormy hilltop and asking the lightning spirit to strike me down!" Zuko yelled, pointing emphatically at the mountains nearby where a storm had been raging for the past few days.

"Well, even if the lightning spirit obliges you, you know how to redirect it now," Iroh pointed out. "You picked it up very quickly because you are so clever."

Zuko rolled his eyes towards the clouds. He sighed extravagantly and dramatically and turned back to Iroh like he was the most put-upon person on the earth. He then gave his uncle a long, evaluating look. Iroh realised it was the look he often sent Zuko's way. Iroh felt so proud again, but he knew it wouldn't be prudent to say that right now.

"Look, I know you mean well and you're not _trying_ to piss me off, but just treat me like you normally do. That's all I want," Zuko said firmly. "Spout nonsense proverbs, make me try your bizarre tea blends, give me a hard time about something ... you know. Do the Uncle Stuff."

"Well, I did want to talk to you about the best way to get into Ba Sing Se and hear your ideas, then I was planning on lecturing you about strategy for an extended period of time. Would that be acceptable?"

Zuko smiled. "Okay," he said softly. "But you aren't allowed to say any of my ideas are good! Just make that weird cryptic noise you do."

They started planning together. Iroh mapped out where there were agents who could help them without telling Zuko any details about their names or occupations. He once again offered to initiate his nephew. This offer was once again refused, but much less adamantly. It seemed like it was refused out of habit rather than petulance. Iroh told him he'd have to wait outside during the meetings then, and Zuko grumbled that was fine with him. They planned a route to the bay where they could catch the ferry to Ba Sing Se.

"Are you really sure you want to go to Ba Sing Se after ...what happened there," Zuko asked hesitantly.

Lu Ten. Zuko was referring to Lu Ten, and giving Iroh that long, searching look again. Iroh felt his throat close up. Even after all this time, the memory of Lu Ten brought him sorrow. He swallowed his sadness down and tried to put on his convivial, Uncle face.

"Zuko, there are more than four elements," Iroh started, needing to change the subject.

"There are?" Zuko looked baffled.

"The fifth element is the element of surprise. Never underestimate it. It can give you the upper hand. Ba Sing Se is the last place anyone would look for me and I have always found it better to do the last thing people expect."

-0-

Sokka had been freed from his crevice by Toph. She had known where he was _the whole time_ but had waited until the late afternoon. That annoyed Sokka.

"I wasn't coming to let you out and miss the explosions," Toph said. "Twinkletoes and Sugar Queen had a massive blow out. Now he's earthbending, and smashing rocks all over the place."

"Katara and Aang had a fight?" Sokka asked in alarm. That never happened.

"Yep. A massive one!" Toph said happily. She was such a shit-stirrer. She loved the drama of it all. "Sorry, I didn't come sooner, but I was on such a roll teaching him. Thank you, Sugar, for your judgemental ranting about families," she declared to the sky. Then she opened the crack wider and pulled Sokka out, still talking about how teaching Aang was easy now. "I pinched his staff to smash some nuts and went on about how the airbenders were wusses ... and _boom!_ Aang smash."

Sokka dusted himself off. He could hear the distant sound of rocks being smashed with a great deal sprightliness.

"Aww, listen to him smash," Toph remarked. "He's doing so good."

Toph seemed like a proud mama-penguin now that Aang was smashing rocks angrily, but Sokka groaned inwardly. It sounded like Aang was doing that as a way of dealing with his feelings over whatever he and Katara had fought about.

How had they even had a fight? Aang was such a conflict avoider and Katara only ever wanted to coddle him and mother him and make him happy.

Jeez. Sokka wracked his brain for whatever could have caused their argument. He knew it was going to be a hot mess to sort out. And he was going to have to be the one to sort it out!

Katara wouldn't. She was part of the problem. She was probably doing the waterbending equivalent of rock smashing now.

He sighed. He was the leader, and he'd learned from Toph and Katara's blow out that you couldn't let this stuff fester, if only for the logical reason that it was really bad for group dynamics and efficiency. He walked towards the sound of rock smashing, like a man condemned to endless conversations about feelings.

Sokka really hated talking about feelings.

Why was this Sokka's lot in life?

He heard Aang out and tried to contain his shock. Sokka had been a little appalled at first about the non-bender thing. He had kind of agreed with Katara, but he held this _inside_ unlike his too-many-feelings-having sister. He used his inside-his-head voice to contain his judgemental _internal_ screaming, thank you very much! As much as Sokka wanted to lecture Aang about how awesome non-benders were, he could see that now was definitely not the time for that.

Aang was so pissed off because he felt like no one was even trying to understand his point of view. Sokka piling on would not have helped at all. Katara had said some pretty nasty things about the Air Nomads too. Sokka wouldn't like that at all if someone had been insulting his culture like that. Now Aang wasn't going to give any ground there. Aang was never going to admit the Air Nomads were wrong about anything tonight, not after the way Katara had carried on.

So Sokka was going to need to convince Katara to be the bigger person.

And he did.

Sokka listened to Katara rant about how wrong it was. The non-bender thing. The "don't be attached to your birth-giver" thing. The rejection of family thing. He told her he agreed with her, but she had to calm down and try and see it from Aang's perspective. She had just taken a huge dump all over his culture, and that poor kid was the last of his kind, of course he was going to be defensive.

And the Air Nomads had a point.

Katara had turned on Sokka then. She had gotten very stroppy and made a mean comment about Sokka forgetting their 'birth-giver'. Sokka had been really offended. He didn't bother to hold it in for her. She got his _external_ judgemental grumblings! She looked ashamed and apologised to him quickly.

Sokka told her he was talking about the choosing your family stuff. Aang was definitely right about that. It was a better way. Aang was their family. Sure, sometimes families fight, but they could work through it. Aang had chosen them and they had chosen him. They were in this together, even if they weren't related by blood.

"And the more I see of the world, the more I think that blood family isn't all it's cracked up to be," Sokka said with certainty. Katara had seemed shocked then, but he continued. He had already thought this through when he was walking over to her. "We were so lucky to have Dad and Mum and Gran-Gran, because they loved us properly. But look at Toph. Her parents can't or won't accept her for who she is. They were making her so miserable. That's why she was so keen to run away with us. Now she can be part of our family too."

Katara conceded his point there and agreed that Toph certainly seemed much happier with them.

She was coming around to see Aang's side. She just needed another _little nudge._ Sokka knew the next thing he was about to say wouldn't be considered a _gentle nudge_ , but a _massive shove._ It might really upset her. It might even make her cry. But it would make her think, make her listen. It would do the trick.

"And think of Zuko. His life would be so much happier if he wasn't stuck being related to _that violent psychopath_ ," Sokka said, just blurting it out. May as well get it over with. If it made her cry, then Sokka was just going to have to live with it.

Katara inhaled sharply and touched the knife at her side. "Which one? His father or his sister?"

"His life would have been a lot happier if he wasn't related to those _two_ violent psychopaths," Sokka corrected. "Zuko would have been so much happier as an Air Nomad. Then he could have chosen a family that would actually, you know, be nice to him and care about him and stuff instead of the family that has literally set him on fire and laughed maniacally at him when he's in pain, then banished him and is now currently plotting to kill him in a wide variety of nasty ways. That's what his family is like! They're a bunch of hedgehog-fuckers …"

Katara didn't say anything, but she was gripping the knife at her belt so tightly again.

"But if Aang's right about finding and choosing your family, Zuko could have chosen _us._ He could have been with us, not them. His life would have been so much better if we were his family. You can't say Aang is wrong for thinking choosing your family is better when we know what Zuko's family did to him." Sokka said this gently as he could, but it was still a pretty brutal thing to say to her, knowing what he knew about them.

She'd never told him, but he knew.

Katara pursed her lips and blinked rapidly, looking away from Sokka. "No, I can't," she conceded.

-0-

Sokka had lost so many cool points in Toph's eyes. He had stopped the drama. He had played peacemaker so much better than Aang, even though playing peacemaker was Aang's bloody job as the Avatar!

Sokka made Katara and Aang stop fighting and talk to each other. Katara even apologised to Aang about everything and said she had been in the wrong. Katara never, ever admitted to being in the wrong, so this was huge for her. Then they even hugged it out, entirely of their own accord.

Toph had been worried that making up would mean that Aang would once again be completely crap at earthbending, but he still had the stuff.

They practised for many days until even Toph could see that Aang was getting a bit exhausted. She relented and agreed to stupid vacations.

Aang's music loving gophers had been kinda fun. Katara's Oasis had sucked monkey-feathers, and Sokka's library was the worst.

They had lost Appa.

Toph always thought she was such a badass. Toph was tough! She could do anything and everything. But she couldn't hold up a library and protect Appa at the same time.

Twinkletoes had been real quiet since then. He didn't say he blamed her, but Toph didn't need him to say it either.

She'd always been good at seeing the truth, if nothing else.

-0-

Notes:

Beautiful readers, thank you for your patience. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for all your kind words of support. they help keep me writing. And enormous, incredible and gigantic Thank you to Boogum, the best beta in the world.

I'm a little time poor at the moment, so my notes will be less rambly.

In short, I love Zuko and Iroh's relationship so much. But Iroh isn't very forthcoming with his praise. Look at Zuko's reaction to his Uncle saying he was honourable in episode 3. He's just so delighted and so damn surprised - this kid was not hearing good, kind things said to him for a very long time. So in true Uncle Style, Iroh tries to rectify that now. I think Zuko's style would have evolved dramatically to the point where he would know moves his Uncle hasn't seen yet.

Anger is not always a negative emotion. Anger at injustice is actually very good for the world - because it means people are more likely to stand up for the oppressed/our environment etc. Aang however, with all his Air Nomad Gentleness sees anger as a BAD emotion. He rarely expresses it and he doesn't like seeing in it others. He will always look for a peaceful solution to a problem first. Bless him.

Zuko and Katara on the other-hand, are both firecrackers who can and will fight you. They both feel great anger at the injustices they see around them.

The idea for the Air Nomads sending away the nonbenders is not mine. It is from Kimberly T's excellent and amazing fic, promises to keep. I highly recommend it. It's apparently a detail from one of the art books that the reason all the air nomads were benders was because they fostered out their non-benders to the Fire Nation and the earthkingdom. this was done out of kindness because it is not possible to live in the temples long-term as a nonbender.

So that means there'd probably be plenty of descendants from these lost zephyrs in the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom. Hhhmmmm heaps of people with the genetic pre-disposition for bending. wonder what we can do with that.

Merry Christmas


	8. The Serpent's pass

This queue was taking forever.

They had been waiting for hours and had only moved a few places. Sokka was beginning to feel like his entire life was the queue, that's how long it was taking. If this monotony dragged on any longer, he was going to forget his old life.

The queue had become his world now. He would just assume that he had been born in this queue, he had grown up in this queue, he'd find a nice girl in the queue (hopefully a few spaces in front, so he could push in), then he'd get married in this queue, have a few queue kids, then move to the sunnier part of the queue when he got old, only to finally die a few spaces from the front.

Sokka was starving. He eyed the food carts hungrily. They had set up near the fence so they could serve both sides of the divide. Post-queue people could come to the fence to buy from the food carts, and the food guys would hand it hastily through the bars. That fence separated those who had already suffered the indignity of the queue and gotten their tickets from the miserable, queuing bastards that they were stuck with now.

Sokka shouldn't be so mean. These were his new people. His queue people. They were all stuck in the queue together. Perhaps they could begin society anew out of the bleakness of the queue.

Honestly, if it wasn't for the boats and people past the fence as an actual tangible sign that eventually this monotony ended, Sokka would have lost his nut. The fence was made out of huge imposing metal beams and covered with sharp spikes. This was to discourage any hopeful, queuing idiots against any ideas they may have about jumping the fence and taking the short cut to the boats. The earthbending officials seemed to think queue jumping was a sign of imminent social collapse from the way they kept patrolling up and down the queues and the fence, yelling things like, "Keep order here!" and "Order will be maintained!"

"The midday ferry will begin boarding!" an official shouted loudly as he walked up and down the waiting area. "Line up for the midday ferry."

Sokka groaned loudly. They had been queuing since the early morning. It was lunchtime! Sokka was starving. Sokka couldn't take it anymore. He needed a walk, a snack, and a bathroom break. He needed to get out of this queue.

"Just go! I can't deal with you complaining about this queue anymore!" Katara scolded, sounding a little harassed.

"Hey, Sokka, can you get us some snacks too?" Toph asked as she handed over a couple of coins.

"Okay, but mind my place in the queue!"

Sokka strolled off to the largest food cart. There were too many options. Sokka felt like the queue had melted his brain because suddenly he couldn't decide what he should eat at all. He started loudly comparing which snacks would be better with the food guy.

"I'm really feeling the dumplings, but these meat sticks look really appetising. Which would you have?"

"Like I said before, it is really up to you," the food guy said in a bored voice.

"Probably dumplings, because you have a vegetarian option and my friend's a vegetarian, but I really do like meat on a stick." Sokka looked hopefully at the meat. "Delicious stick meat." He sighed.

"Sokka?"

Sokka knew that voice. He whipped around to see Zuko on the other side of the fence, holding the bars between his hands and looking at him with great surprise.

"Frozen hell!" Sokka walked over to the fence, leaving the food guy. "Zu—"

"Don't say my name! Just call me Lee."

"Lee?"

"It's my fake ID," Zuko explained, and showed Sokka his papers quickly through the bars. They looked legitimate. Sokka wondered how Zuko had finagled that.

"Why Lee? It's such a meh name. It's so boring."

If Sokka was going to rename himself, he'd go for something badass, like Sergeant Muscular.

"Sokka, you can't just start calling yourself a sergeant and instantly gain a military title. Besides, the boringness is really helpful. There's millions of Lees. Look at this." Zuko turned to the crowd waiting in line for the ferry. "Oi, Lee!"

At least one third of the men in the line looked up.

"It's actually super hard to learn to answer to a new name," Zuko explained. "This way, I can always just say, 'Oh I thought you were talking to the other Lee' if I forget to answer."

"Smart," Sokka conceded.

"Hey, guy, are you going to buy the dumplings for your vegetarian friend?" the food guy asked, pointing at Zuko. "Otherwise I'm going to the next ferry."

"Oi, numbnuts, I'm not vegetarian!" Zuko harrumphed, looking very insulted.

Food Guy also looked offended and pushed his cart full of dumplings and meat away, muttering under his breath.

"What are you doing here Z—Lee?" Sokka asked, catching himself just in time as he stepped as close as he could so they could talk quietly.

"My uncle and I are keeping a low profile. No one would ever think to look for us in Ba Sing Se." Zuko also stepped closer to the fence, wrapping his hands around the bars.

Sokka swore he heard someone who sounded a bit like Zuko's uncle genuinely shouting for Lee from the mass of people queuing for the boat. Heaps of Lees in the queue were turning around in response, but Zuko didn't seem to notice. But maybe Sokka had misheard. Maybe it was someone else calling for another Lee. It was a popular name.

"What are you doing here?" Zuko asked.

"Appa got stolen."

"Appa got stolen? How?"

"Sandbenders took him in the desert. We think they're going to trade him in Ba Sing Se."

"Is Aang okay?" Zuko asked, sounding concerned.

"Not really, but he's being like eerily calm and unemotional about it. He's pretending he's not bothered. It's unnatural and creepy. We're trying to get there as fast as we can so we can start looking for Appa, but this stupid queue is taking forever."

"Bloody hell, I know, right? I felt like it took eight hundred years to get our tickets."

They looked at each other in mutual queue-hating agreement.

"You want to get the lady in number nine; she's the fastest," Zuko said, pointing through the bars to the booths on the other side of the atrium. "Her queue moves slightly quicker. Number four is the slowest and she likes to deny people tickets, so avoid her. The lady in number six is susceptible to flirting from gross old men," he added, then suppressed a shudder.

"Oh no! We're going to get number four, I just know it! What am I going to do?" Sokka wailed.

"ORDER! Maintain order here! Both of you, two paces back from the fence!" a guard suddenly barked at them, banging the fence near them loudly with his baton. It made a huge noise, and they both jumped back a bit.

"Midday ferry is now boarding," the guard starting yelling from nearer to the boats.

Jeez, they would have to queue again just to get on the boat! Sokka groaned as he watched the queue form.

"How's Katara?" Zuko asked quickly, stepping back up to the fence. He looked around at the ferry queue before turning back to Sokka. "Is she okay?"

"She's minding my spot in the queue."

Zuko was still craning his neck to see around Sokka, like he was trying to see a glimpse of her. Sokka looked behind him and couldn't make out his sister and the others from the dense lump of humans that made up the queue for tickets.

"Come and say hi and see for yourself," Sokka suggested.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Zuko said a bit uncertainly, his face falling.

"Sure it is. She'd love to see you. Just a little bit of ninja jumping or firebending slice and we'll be on our way."

The fence was crazy high and covered in sharp spikes, but Zuko was good at fences. He'd figure something out.

"No," Zuko huffed. "I mean I have to go. I'm on the midday ferry."

Oh.

"Zuko, I am going to get such an earful if I don't bring you back to say hi at least! She really wants to see you."

Sokka couldn't rock up without Zuko now that they'd spent ages chatting about fake IDs and snacks. Katara was already super sensitive about this issue. She had been super grumpy about missing out on seeing Zuko after the town-going-down-in-a-blaze-of-flaming-glory incident.

Zuko looked around, clearly hesitating. He glanced towards the queue where Katara and the others were waiting with such a longing expression on his face that Sokka felt a little awkward. His friend wasn't mean to look so soppy. Then Zuko looked back at the boat. The boat people were rapidly funnelling into the ferry. At least that queue was disappearing rapidly. Zuko looked back between the queue and the boat at least two more times. Sokka thought he could hear the sound of Zuko's uncle calling loudly and urgently now. Zuko heard it this time too. He closed his eyes and sighed sadly.

"I want to see her too ... but I can't ditch my uncle and disappear with you lot. I can't do that to him. Not again. Look, we're all heading to Ba Sing Se. I'll find you in the city, okay?"

"How are you going to do that? Isn't it a huge city?"

"Please, it'll be easy. You guys don't exactly keep a low profile," Zuko said dismissively.

He did kind of have a point. They had never been good at 'blending in'.

"I'll see you guys again really soon," Zuko said firmly.

"See you soon." Sokka reached through the bars and tried to give him a one armed hug.

"What are you doing?"

"Isn't this a hugging moment?" Sokka said. Wasn't it obvious? They hadn't seen each other in ages. Really, it should have been a hugging moment.

Zuko gave him a weird look.

Oi! Sokka wasn't the weird one here.

"There's no time for hugs, Sokka. I really have to go!"

Sokka made a face.

"Urgh! Fine." Zuko reached through and gave him a quick, one-armed pat through the bars.

-0-

Katara found Aang sitting on the cliffs of the Serpent's Pass, looking out at the ocean and clearly pretending he didn't miss Appa as he tried to make himself numb to his losses. Aang wasn't naturally an apathetic person. Katara hated seeing him this way. He was missing Appa but trying to hide it from them.

"It's okay to miss people," she reassured him.

Oh spirits, did she know how true that was. She had to live with constantly missing Zuko. She'd given Zuko her whole heart and she'd never got all of it back. He still had a piece of it. He'd taken it with him when he left.

She tried explaining to Aang about the importance of not giving up hope. They'd find Appa again, she was sure of it. But Aang rebuffed her attempts to comfort him. He walked away, seeking solitude to better sulk in. He wouldn't let her help, would barely let her hug him. He kept pushing her away. He'd been doing it since the desert.

Katara breathed in, trying to calm herself. She had to be the bigger person and not let the rejection upset her. Still, it got tiring sometimes, always trying to be the bigger person. She had also lost someone very important to her. She hadn't been allowed to scream or sulk or run off and have a huge tantrum about it.

To make matters worse, nearly everyone else had gotten to see Zuko. She'd been so close in the ferry terminal. He'd been across the hall and she hadn't even known. It seemed horribly unfair. She had been trying her hardest not to get grumpy at Aang and Sokka and Toph for seeing him and being able to talk to him. She would have given anything to talk to him again just for a few minutes.

She walked around looking for Aang again, but found Suki instead. The Kyoshi Warrior had taken off her armour and washed off her make-up and was sitting with her legs dangling over the ledge, throwing rocks listlessly into the ocean. She perked up when she saw Katara, but her eyes were still sad.

"Hi, Katara."

"Is anything wrong?" Katara asked, sitting down next to the other girl.

"Nope, couldn't sleep is all."

"Me either. I'm worried about Aang."

"Ah, boyfriend trouble." Suki nodded sagely.

"Aang's not my boyfriend. Why would you think that?" Katara asked, turning to the other girl in surprise.

"On Kyoshi, he made it pretty clear he has a massive crush on you. He is the Avatar. We just figured you'd go with him eventually. It's why all the young girls were so snippy with you in the market. They were jealous."

Katara felt taken aback. Did everybody know about Aang's crush on her and assume she would eventually go out with him?

"Well, I don't feel like that about Aang," Katara said a little snappishly, before trying for a calmer tone. "He's like my brother, and who'd want to date Sokka? Gross!" She realised too late who she was talking too. Suki's face had fallen a little. "Oh. Sorry."

"No, it's okay. It's not like we're dating or anything."

Katara didn't know what to say. She didn't want to talk about Sokka's love life. It was hard to think of anyone feeling romantic about her sarcastic, jerky-eating, science-obsessed brother, but both Suki and Yue had been quite smitten with him.

"Katara, can I ask you something?" Suki ventured.

Katara nodded encouragingly.

"Did Sokka have another girlfriend? One he couldn't protect?"

Oh. That had come up.

At least her brother was talking about what happened with Yue now, even if he clearly hadn't given many details. Katara wondered if he would have wanted her to tell Suki, but then decided she was going to anyway. Suki should know why Sokka had been acting so weird around her lately. He'd been trying to do everything for her. He even volunteered to help out more with the cooking, to everyone's surprise and dread, all so that precious Suki wouldn't run the risk of scalding herself.

"Yue. Her name was Yue. They had an on again, off again thing up in the Northern Water Tribe, but she died during the Siege of the North. She sacrificed herself to save us all. Sokka was meant to look after her during the battle, but there was nothing any of us could do to save her. She made her choice. Sometimes he seems over it, but he's been so weirdly protective of you this trip and ... I think maybe he needs more time."

"Ah. That makes a lot of sense." Suki looked down at the water sadly. "It's probably too soon."

"He was nuts about you. He'll come around," Katara said quickly, not wanting Suki to give up hope. Katara liked her. She was good to Sokka. Also it was really nice to have a girl her own age to talk to. Katara hoped Suki wouldn't be put off by Sokka's weirdness around her.

"What about you? Did you have a boyfriend up north?" Suki gave Katara a cheeky eyebrow waggle.

"I did," Katara confessed.

"Another waterbender, like you wanted?" Suki asked with a wink.

When Katara had been on Kyoshi Island the first time, she'd shared the warrior's sleeping quarters at night. Those nights had been her first and only 'girl's nights'. One night they'd played 'sleep with, marry, kill' about the village boys. Katara had been scandalised and amused. She'd felt so grown up to be having these conversations with other girls. They'd talked about what they wanted in boyfriends. Katara had probably said she wanted a waterbender back then. She certainly hadn't said a grumpy, socially awkward fire-bender with big hands and a shy smile.

Now, she couldn't imagine wanting anybody else.

She looked at Suki and found she just wanted to tell someone else her own age. Someone who might understand and not throw water all over her like Sokka, or make a dirty joke like Toph, or get sad-jealous like she was sure Aang would.

Katara got up and had a quick glance around. Everyone else was back at the campsite on the clearing above them. Their voices wouldn't carry if she whispered. She gestured Suki closer. "Not exactly," she said. "We really weren't meant to be together. You can't tell anybody else..." Her face had gone bright red even in the moonlight.

"Oooh, secretive, forbidden love! I'm listening."

Katara started to talk about it in a low soft voice.

"Prince Zuko? The guy who burned down my village!" Suki hissed, managing to sound both astonished and outraged while still keeping her voice low.

"He actually felt quite badly about that."

"Oh, good. That makes it all better." Suki snorted. "I don't understand. How did you even start liking someone like that? He seems like he'd be very callous and brash and hot-tempered." She gave Katara a great deal of side-eye.

Katara felt a little wrong-footed and defensive at Suki's tone, but she told herself that Suki didn't know what Zuko was really like. She told Suki all about their travels together and how she'd gotten to know him first. She understood why Suki thought Zuko was callous, brash and reckless, but Katara knew he was also very kind and smart and brave. Suki listened to her whole story, from arrow-pulling to midnight training, with a thoughtful look on her face.

Katara couldn't pinpoint when she started fancying Zuko. It happened so slowly, there wasn't one single moment. She had a full blown crush on him before she'd even noticed. Perhaps it had been that first day she'd seen him after he'd had his hair cut. He'd been wearing plain, dark blue. Water Tribe colours really suited him. His hair had been growing out, and without the ponytail thing, he looked like a different person.

"Ah, did his haircut get you hot under the collar?" Suki asked with an eyebrow waggle.

Yes, but it hadn't been just that. (It definitely had been a little bit about that, Katara wasn't going to lie to herself. She did find him stupidly handsome, and that had made having a crush on him way too easy.) It had been the training, and the listening, and the everything else.

It had been more than nice to feel like she had someone who was completely on her side, especially in a place as unfair and sexist as the Northern Water Tribe. Suki had been so incensed to hear about it when Katara had ranted about Pakku for some time. Katara had loved the constant, unwavering support she'd gotten from Zuko. When all the boys had picked on her for being too aggressive and 'un-wifely', Zuko had loved how passionate she was, and every night he helped her learn how to kick their stupid butts.

"You were learning under your own steam. Good for you. I'm surprised you didn't burn yourself out, having lessons all day and then training at night," Suki commented. "It sounds like you were burning the candle at both ends." She waggled her eyebrows again. She was making the exact same face that Sokka did when he had made a joke and he was waiting for her to laugh.

Katara gave her a confused look. "I mean it was a little tiring, but I didn't mind. It helped me kick all the boys' butts, so it was worth it."

"Sounds like a good way to blow off steam. So how did you two get together then? Did it happen in the heat of the moment?"

Oh, Tui and La. It was puns. Terrible puns. Terrible puns that seem to give Suki great delight. Katara had a sudden understanding as to why Sokka and Suki had been so smitten with each other so quickly.

Katara could put up with terrible puns. If she just didn't acknowledge them, they might stop. Now that she had started confiding in someone, she didn't want keep any more secrets inside.

She told Suki about the Spirit Oasis and broken wrists and feeling like she just had to kiss him, otherwise she would burst. She told Suki about how right it had felt when they were together, even though she knew it was wrong and they shouldn't. She told Suki about having to keep it secret. Aang and Sokka still didn't know.

Suki put her arm around Katara then. "Your secret is safe with me. I'm not full of hot air, like some people. I won't go blabbing."

Katara thought Suki would be angry at her and think less of her from the way she had reacted at the start, but the other girl had listened thoughtfully and smiled at her very encouragingly, and that had made Katara feel better about unburdening herself.

Katara told Suki she still wasn't over it. She didn't know if she would ever get over it. Even though Zuko had been a massive idiot, he'd been her idiot. She missed him so much. She was trying not to be upset that everyone else had seen him, but she kept missing out.

"It's not as bad as it steams." Suki said reassuringly, patting her back. "This firebender of yours, he sounds like he turns up like a dodgy copper piece. I'm sure you'll see him in the city."

"I hope so," Katara said, leaning against the other girl. "Thanks for listening. I haven't really been able to talk to anyone else about it."

"No problem."

They looked out at the ocean together for a moment.

"I still can't believe you kissed a firebender," Suki said after a beat, and turned to Katara with a mischievous look on her face. "There must have been a real spark between you two. Was it hot? Was it steamy? Did he light your fire?"

"Suki, you really don't have to make lame puns," Katara muttered.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I had a burning desire to say them," Suki said with a wide smile.

Katara shot her another look.

"No need to get all hot and bothered."

"Suki!"

-0-

"You're an outcast like me. We should stick together," Jet suggested and made his most persuasive face at Lee. Fuck yeah, no one could say no to the persuasive face.

Lee looked at him for a moment before turning to look ahead at the approaching ferry port. "I realised being on your own isn't the best," he said, being all cool and enigmatic and shit.

Jet could dig that. Lee would be the perfect freedom fighter. He was a bitchy ninja. Their group had really lacked a bitchy ninja.

"Yeah, that's why I want you in my gang of freedom fighters. We'll fight crime, cause crime, and stick it right up the jacksie of the Fire Nation," Jet said putting his arm around the other boy. Lee went rigid at the touch.

"What?" Lee said harshly as he stepped away, picking up Jet's arm and removing it from his shoulder.

Uh oh. Jet had said something wrong. He tried to think what it could be.

Was it the crime?

Lee first struck him as someone who would be the fun kind of naughty, but maybe he was actually a good boy. Lee was travelling with his old uncle and seemed to want to stay out of trouble for the old dude's sake.

"Look, we'll only cause a little bit of crime if that's what you're worried about," Jet explained, trying a different tactic. "But it will be justified crime, like the heist last night. Those rich bastards need to share!"

"No, I agree about that," Lee said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

There was something oddly posh about the gesture. Had Lee come from money? Perhaps. Lee seemed to think he was a bit fancier than your everyday refugee. Jet could dig that.

"But the Fire Nation isn't in Ba Sing Se, unless you've heard something different?" Lee continued, looking worried.

"No, they aren't," Jet reassured him. He didn't want to run into the Fire Nation either. "I just really hate them, okay? You're a refugee, you get it. The Fire Nation has fucked us all over, and now we have to fuck them back!"

"By sticking it to them in their jacksie?" Lee asked, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

"Yes!" Jet said quickly before he realised what Lee was implying. "I mean NO! Not like that, you pervert. Who would fuck a firebender? So gross." Jet suppressed a shudder.

The look of distaste still hadn't left Lee's face, and now he was stepping backwards away from Jet. Jet had to smooth this over quickly.

"No, I mean we'd hand any firebenders we find over to the guards to have their hands and feet crushed," Jet said, trying again for that pacifying tone. Crushing was the common punishment. People made a day of it when they heard there was going to be a crushing. It was always good entertainment. Everyone loved watching a good crushing.

"I don't think you want me in your group," Lee said coldly, and turned to go.

No! He was leaving! How to stop him? Jet reached out and grabbed his arm. "Lee, wait. Come on, it'll be fun."

"I said no!" Lee yelled, wrenching his arm away and stomping off.

Yeesh. He was so moody. Jet could dig it. It made him want Lee in his group even more.

Jet still couldn't believe Lee had rejected him. It made him feel weird in his stomach. Someone he wanted as a freedom fighter had said no to him, and Jet couldn't get his head around it. No one said no to him, except for Bossy, Sexy Katara.

Jet followed Lee for most of the boat trip, trying to get another opportunity to talk to him, but he got the feeling that Lee was trying to avoid him. That annoyed Jet.

Jet watched as Lee and his uncle collected their things and walked off the ship. The uncle bought some tea and complained about it being cold, but Jet noticed it was steaming a little in the cool spring air.

It made so much sense now! He knew Lee wasn't really saying no to him. He was saying no because the old man with the tea was a firebender!

Wait, that meant Lee was probably a firebender too.

Jet couldn't believe he had been so taken in and tricked by a firebender!

He was going to make Lee pay for that.

-0-

Notes:

One million thanks to the fabulous and brilliant Boogum for the beta. Also thanks to everyone who left such lovely feedback on my last chapter!

Just a few things in this chapter. In the Serpent's Pass episode, Iroh and Zuko are waiting for their ferry when the Gaang arrive, so that happens again here. I thought the biggest benefit of the name 'Lee' for Zuko would be how common it was, as it is easier to blend in/remember to answer to a different name. I didn't have my drama llama lovebirds meet up here, but at least I can you guys some nice Sokka and Zuko interactions. I really love those two.

The drama llamas will meet up very soon, I promise.

Katara gets to have a 'girly' talk with Suki. I always wanted Katara to be able to have more time and opportunity to be a normal teenage girl. Really, there was no one close to her in age aside from Sokka in their village, so she hasn't had much chance to hang out with girly buds. It was the one thing she was really looking forward to doing with Toph (and look how that turned out).

Katara's first night on Kyoshi Island would have been an amazing revelation. Aaawww bless her, it would have been like her first sleep-over. Yes they played 'fuck, marry, kill' but I didn't think Katara would swear, so she calls it something different.

I also like Katara feeling like she is being supported, and Suki is my girl for this. Suki and Zuko are some of the precious few characters in Katara's age bracket that she doesn't feel compelled to mother/play the mother role for. I think it is good for Katara to have interactions with people who are close to her in age without mothering them. If anything, she is looking for support from Suki because she assumes that she is going to get a very mixed reaction from the rest of the Gaang to the prospect of a Zutara relationship. Suki fulfils a 'cool big sis' role for Katara, and I think that's beautiful.

I think Suki is also pretty astute and would come around fairly quickly to see things from Katara's side. She certainly didn't hold a grudge against Zuko for long in the Boiling Rock after all. She trusts Sokka and Katara's judgement, and if they think Zuko's okay, then Suki will go with that.

Also Katara chooses kind, smart and brave as the key attributes she recognises/likes about Zuko….just like some fortune-teller once foretold. I'm firmly in the 'we make our own destiny' camp and I do think that the Aunt Wu episode was trying to teach us not to put too much stock in 'destiny.' I don't like the idea of two people being destined for eachother and not really getting much of a say in it.

(Just like the Kataang relationship in canon. Honestly the fortune-teller is some of the only foreshadowing for Katara and it is...worrying that the only quality Katara recognises is that Aang is a powerful bender….nothing about being personally compatible at all….and he should be a powerful bender because he is the avatar...but will he be a good husband? Sadly, canon says no. But I hope for better for Aang and Katara.)

Anyway, Katara would always value kind, brave and smart people. So I had Aunt Wu say these were the qualities her husband would have back in the third chapter. Aunt Wu is probably very astute at reading people. She knows Katara doesn't want/value handsome, charming, rich, powerful, etc.

Katara and Zuko have so much natural chemistry to begin with, but he also embodies the qualities she would want in a life-partner. I'm not saying Aang isn't these things, but Katara sees Aang and thinks: 'Avatar. World's last hope for peace. My tiny son. My sweet summer child,' and not: ' My kind, brave, smart future husband'.

In my stalking series, I had Suki be ridiculously fond of bad puns/jokes and I still hold to that headcanon. My precious Sukka babies are just rolling in dad jokes in my headcanon. Other headcanons making a re-appearance is Zuko giving Jet his bisexual awakening and Jet having no idea how to respond to this confusing mix of feelings except rage!stalking. I will be borrowing a bit from Jet's troubling obsession for this fic.

Next chapter will deal with Ba Sing Se shenanigans. Til then lovely readers.


	9. City of Walls and Secrets

"Hello, I am Joo Dee. Welcome to your processing," a creepily cheerful voice said from up the front.

 _Welcome to your processing_ was an unnecessarily alarming phrase, Zuko thought. He glanced up to see a finely dressed woman standing at the podium. She seemed very out of place here amongst all these poor refugees. _Upper class,_ he thought, with an ironic amount of disdain considering he was royalty.

Zuko had gotten to know many Earth Kingdom citizens during his travels with his uncle, but they had all been from the lower classes. He'd listened to their muttering about the upper classes and the unfairness. After seeing the opulent and lavish feast for the first class

passengers, and the slop given to the refugees, Zuko understood exactly what they meant.

The refugees had been checked, grouped and herded like cattle into this room. Everyone had been handed a book by one of the stern-looking guards on entry. Now they had to stand around while this fancy woman deigned to addressed them.

 _No sitting, complaining, lolly-gagging, or daydreaming allowed,_ read the sign above her head.

"Ba Sing Se is not just protected by walls," she continued. "It is made up of many walls. The walls are here to protect and divide us all into the groups we need to stay in. You have all been assigned to the twenty-seventh district, and that is where you will remain until further processing."

Zuko looked around to see Jet glaring daggers in his direction. That guy had not stopped following him since Zuko refused to join his crime club. Now they were going to be literally walled in together.

 _Great. Just perfect._

"The twenty-seventh district is located in the lowest tier. This is where all our refugees begin their new lives. You may be processed faster if someone from the upper, middle or high rings chooses to sponsor you. You must not approach, accost or beg upper and middle citizens to sponsor you. Speaking to a citizen of a higher tier without being spoken to first carries consequences.

"Rules about movement are strict. The upper and middle district citizens may move about with ease if they have a required pass. However, you must stay in your assigned districts, or there will be consequences.

"These are outlined in your _'Ba Sing Se: Rules and Regulations Guide Book'._ Please familiarise yourself with it now. Remember that you must give these books back at the end of your processing, or there will be consequences."

Yikes. What was this place?

Uncle was reading through the guidebook thoroughly. He actually seemed interested. Zuko gave his book a cursory glance and realised it was an entire tome of regulations. So many rules. Urgh. This place was already the worst. If he had to be locked up, Zuko would have almost preferred to be a prisoner of war again in the Northern Water Tribe.

At least the Water Tribe had been pretty explicit about the fact that they would kill him if he wasn't useful or he screwed up – none of this vague, ominous "consequences" bullshit. They also never made him be "processed" for seven hours. Zuko began to tune out the succession of women named Joo Dee. He broke three of the rules (daydreaming, lolly-gagging and complaining) in the process.

The twenty-seventh was a densely populated, unhygienic, poorly designed labyrinth of streets, sealed on all sides by huge walls. They were impossible to climb. But Zuko discovered a few places where the tenement buildings were tall enough and close enough to the walls to make jumping it feasible. He tried this once, then got a bit disheartened. In front of him, as far as the eye could see, were more of the same: lots of buildings then huge walls.

Uncle got them jobs and an apartment, most likely through nefarious Flower Friend methods. They worked together in a tea shop now. It wasn't as bad as Zuko was expecting, but nothing could have been as bad as Zuko was expecting. He cleaned, went to market for the supplies, removed big spiders, boiled and fried dumplings, served and occasionally made tea.

Uncle was trying to teach him to make it perfectly, but he was much more passionate about this subject than Zuko. This lead to a few squabbles as Uncle tried to educate him. Zuko insisted he couldn't taste the difference between a tea that had been steeped for two minutes and a tea that had been steeped for two hours. It all tasted like hot leaf juice to him.

"How could a member of my own family say something so horrible?" Iroh muttered, walking away with great displeasure.

Whenever Zuko had some time off, he looked for a way out of the twenty-seventh district. He had told Sokka it would be easy to find them, but he hadn't known about all the internal walls then. The spirits really did love fucking with him. Zuko assumed it would be easy so, naturally, moving between the districts was almost impossible.

But Zuko never gave up easily. He knew there had to be a way. He'd find his friends again. He didn't know what he was going to do after he found them, but he knew they missed him and wanted him around. That made something that had been hard and coiled and tight in his chest relax. There were at least three people, aside from his uncle, who wanted him around. It made him feel warm inside, knowing that he was wanted.

He was trying to map out routes to all the districts by jumping over the rooftops. He'd get up to the upper ring eventually. It was just taking a while. It was on these mapping expeditions that he became aware that Jet was definitely stalking him. Wherever Zuko went, he was aware of a sullen, malevolent aura of dickishness behind him. Whenever Zuko turned around, Jet would duck behind something and try to be inconspicuous, but often his spikey hair would stick up from behind carts, crates and fruit stalls.

Fucking idiot.

He couldn't even stalk right.

Zuko would duck into alleys, wait for Jet to follow him, and yell at him to stop stalking him. Yelling often turned into fighting. They'd squabble and struggle inelegantly. Zuko kicked Jet's arse a fair bit, but this didn't seem to discourage him at all. If anything, it made Jet even more determined.

"Will you just stop following me!" Zuko ended up shouting at him in the market a few days later.

"I wasn't following you!"

Zuko turned and walked for a few moments around the stalls. He took a couple of turns and Jet followed every single one. Zuko turned abruptly, feeling vindicated. He wasn't imagining it.

"You are! You're doing it right now. You were literally just following me! I caught you red-handed. Or red-footed. Or whatever."

"It's a free city. I do what I want," Jet said with a shrug, seeming amused by how annoyed he was making Zuko.

This situation was infuriating.

"Go fuck yourself, Jet!" Zuko yelled, and gave the boy a shove.

"I already did!"

Jet obviously thought it was a witty comeback, and he realised what he'd said a moment too late. Zuko laughed heartily at his expense.

Jet even stole their spark rocks, 'cause he was a disgusting, thieving weirdo. They'd gone missing several nights in a row. Zuko had bought two replacement sets, which also went "missing". Jet had even stolen the spark rocks from their neighbours, so they couldn't borrow them from next door. By the fourth night, many apartments on the top floor of their tenement didn't have any spark rocks.

Zuko knew that Jet liked to perch on the roof opposite their building and look into their window, like the creepy, perverted creeper he was. After a few nights of spark rock thievery, Zuko decided to ignore his uncle, who had been telling him to ignore Jet. He slipped out and climbed up behind Jet. Jet was focused on looking into their apartment.

"Where'd you go, you motherfucker?" Jet was muttering to himself.

 _Right behind you,_ Zuko thought childishly. He was going to surprise the shit out of the bastard. Zuko could see the outline of the spark rocks in the other boy's pockets. Zuko was quick enough and subtle enough to slip his hand into Jet's pocket and retrieve not just one, but four sets of spark rocks. Jet didn't even seem to feel it.

"I'll be taking these back now."

Zuko took smug, savage enjoyment at the squeal Jet made. Jet whipped around with a look of absolute shock and indignation. He saw Zuko there, spark rocks in hand, waving cheekily at him.

"You stole from me?" Jet gasped, like a ninety-year-old woman who had just been surprised in her bathtub.

"I did."

Zuko jumped off the roof and made his way back to his apartment, handing the spark rocks back to the people Jet had stolen them from in the first place. When he got home, he looked through the window to see that idiot still sitting on the roof opposite, gaping open-mouthed at him. Zuko made a rude gesture at Jet through the window, then closed the blinds.

Jet wasn't the biggest danger here, though. That was definitely the Dai Lee. Their job was to _keep order, at all costs_ – which was super ominous, in Zuko's opinion. They made people disappear, or worse. They turned them into somebody else.

Zuko heard whispers of the Dai Lee brainwashing program and what it did. The Joo Dees were part of it, and he was seeing them more and more. They escorted fancy people through the district. Sometimes they even came to the teashop, because Uncle's tea was getting famous. They both realised pretty quickly who and what the Joo Dees actually were.

There had been a scene. A husband had been in the teashop when the woman who had been his wife showed up as a Joo Dee. She'd had no idea who he was. It had been awful and Zuko had felt horrified down to his bones, watching this man plead with his wife to remember him.

Then the Dai Lee had arrived and everyone in the teashop all had to pretend that they hadn't seen anything unusual and nothing had happened, because the Dai Lee were just _that scary._ Zuko had no idea what they would have done to him if he hadn't echoed "there is no war in Ba Sing Se" along with everybody else, but he knew it would have been bad.

That's what they meant by _"consequences"._

"At least I know she's alive now," that poor, wretched, heartbroken man had said afterwards, as Uncle gave him a seemingly endless amount of free tea. "That's something. Knowing the woman I love is alive."

He had come to the teashop every day since then, hoping for another glimpse of his wife. He was braver than Zuko would be. If Zuko had seen Katara like _that,_ smiling inanely, all those amazing bits of her just _washed_ out of her, Zuko was sure it would have ripped his heart in two and killed him on the spot. He'd never recover.

Zuko wanted to get back at the Dai Li for what they were doing to these poor people. He didn't care how scary they were. The Dai Lee were scary, but they also held all the secrets, knowledge and the power. If he was ever going to find the others, he would find out from the Dai Lee. He was sure a spy organisation would spy on the Avatar.

Zuko took to spying on the spies. He started following them on their patrols and figuring out their routes and routines. He found two secret offices, which seemed to be where the Dai Lee would organise before heading out for a night of nefarious deeds. Zuko broke into one. While he was in there, he heard some Dai Lee agents talking about "the bison".

They had Appa in one of their many prisons!

Those bastards were deliberately hiding Appa from Aang and the others. Zuko found out Aang and the others were being treated as honoured guests in the highest ring. The Dai Li were using Appa as leverage to keep Aang stuck in the city. Appa was caged underground somewhere. They said the bison seemed distressed. Animal cruelty. This was low even for the Dai Li. Zuko gripped his sword handles so tightly and just willed himself not to jump down there and beat the shit out of the agents.

Zuko just needed to figure out which prison they were keeping Appa in, then he could set him free. Zuko didn't care if he had to break into a different Dai Li location every night, he'd find Appa!

He'd gone through the motions of sneaking back to his apartment. When he was close to home, Zuko felt a thrill of fear run through him as he heard footsteps running behind him. How could they have followed him here? He felt his shoulder grabbed from behind. Zuko turned abruptly, ready for a fight.

"Oh, it's only you," he sighed in relief when he saw it was just the dickhead.

"What do you mean _only me_?" Jet looked offended. "How many other people do you think are stalking you?"

"At least you've admitted you're stalking me now, Jet. Admittance is the first step to recovery."

-0-

The lowest ring was rough. The buildings were dilapidated and crammed in close together. It was crowded, filthy, smelly and full of scary looking guys with knives. The people were poor. Desperately poor. Some were sick, and it seemed like plagues and epidemics would flourish here. Joo Dee said she'd show them one lower ring district. Sokka had chosen district thirty at random. Joo Dee said they could not visit that one as the entire district was closed for quarantine. Nobody in or out. It seemed like each lower ring district was its own prison. Katara couldn't imagine Zuko living here, stuck here. He'd hate it.

Joo Dee talked about how "quaint" and "lively" the lowest ring of Ba Sing Se was, and then added the fatuous warning that they needed to watch their step. Aang hadn't liked it one bit and said it was so different from how the monks had taught them to live. He was extra gloomy and leaning out of the carriage window sadly.

"Stop the carriage," Katara said.

"Honoured guest Katara, whatever for?"

"Well, a friend of ours came to the city a few days before we did. He'd be a new arrival, so he might be around here in one of these districts. I think we should search the area for him," Katara explained.

Zuko was quite recognisable. Surely she could just ask around if anyone had seen a tall boy with black hair, honey-brown eyes, shy smile, and a big scar.

"Honoured guest Katara, finding your friend will not be as simple as that," Joo Dee said firmly. "There is a process, protocol, and you will need to get an official summons from the immigration department if your friend is to move districts at all. Residents of the lowest ring are not permitted to leave their assigned districts under any circumstances without the official documentation. You will not be permitted to visit him in the lower ring without an escort. It is too dangerous. We would need to return with suitable escorts if you wish to conduct a search."

"What?" Katara was aghast.

"These rules are to maintain order and for the safety of everyone, you understand," Joo Dee said brightly. "If you like, we can go past the immigration department in the middle ring and you can file form A4762-B, and we can return with an escort tomorrow."

"What's form A4762-B?" Sokka asked warily.

"It will give your friend a visitor's pass that is valid for visiting the middle and upper ring for two hours. They can expedite the processing time of form A4762-B, considering you are such honoured guests, and you will have the pass within three weeks. Such quick service."

"Three weeks!"

They went to the immigration department, and she filled in the form and filed it with a harassed-looking and angry clerk who was literally surrounded by mountains and mountains of paper. Katara took her chance and asked him a few questions to see if she could use her status as an "honoured" guest to help narrow down her search.

"So, your friend's name is Lee?" the clerk droned, looking unimpressed.

"Yes."

"Do you know his last name?" the clerk asked, looking over the rim of his glasses at her.

"No…"

"Well, that narrows it down then," he said with a roll of his eyes. "Do you know your friends' processing number?"

"Why would I know that?" Why would anyone know that?

"If you don't know his processing number or even his last name, I can't help you. Thousands of Lees arrived last week and they were assigned across the 20th to the 29th. Your friend could be anywhere." He dismissed her with a wave. "Next!" he yelled to the huge queue.

Katara was so frustrated and cross.

"Sorry there was no luck finding your friend, my honoured guest," Joo Dee said brightly. "But shall we return to the tour?"

They got off at the university, which was their next stop. They fell behind Joo Dee as she sashayed in front of them, scaring students. They kept their voices low in case she was listening.

"Cheer up, Katara," Aang said. "Zuko told Sokka would be easy for him to find us."

"Yeah, I think he had no idea about all these internal walls when he said that, buddy," Sokka responded. "He's never been to Ba Sing Se either."

"Well, he could climb the Pohuai walls pretty easily. Maybe he can climb these ones too."

"Maybe, but that's a big maybe. These walls are huge." Sokka looked around. They were a little higher now and could see the perimeter wall of the 15th district in the middle distance. "See, this is why we should never let Zuko make the plan. He just says shit like 'pfft, it'll be easy'. As soon as he says something will be easy, it's like the universe says 'not so fast there, buddy!' and sets out to prove him wrong." Sokka moaned loudly. "Honestly, he has the worst luck."

-0-

Jet was obsessed. It wasn't healthy. And it was getting worse.

"He's so agile," Jet muttered to himself. "He's so sneaky. He's up to something. I just know it. Why else would he always be jumping round the rooftops, climbing the walls and breaking into Dai Li buildings?"

"Jet, you've got to stop following this guy, get your shit together, and get a job," Smellerbee told him. This had become her standard response to Jet's rantings.

"He's a good pickpocket. Did I tell you he put his hand in my pocket and I didn't even feel it!"

Smellerbee rolled her eyes. He had already told her, many times.

"I bet he came here to escape getting arrested for being a thief. What a fucking criminal," Jet added darkly.

Smellerbee thought that was _a bit rich_ coming from Jet. They weren't really in a position to judge people on the criminal front. "I thought you thought he was firebender," she pointed out snidely.

"Yes. He's that too. People can be _two_ bad things at the same time, Smellerbee! He's a firebender and a thief. A wily, athletic, strong, smug thief who thinks he's so fucking clever." Jet actually sighed as he said this. "Just you both wait until I get my hands on him." He made a clutching gesture, his eyes shining with anticipation as he clearly relished the thought.

Smellerbee exchanged a concerned look with Longshot. Longshot had been right. He nodded at her, his expression saying, _Go on, ask him._ Smellerbee gulped. She knew Jet probably wasn't going to take it well. Longshot and Smellerbee had both assumed Jet was a little bit bisexual for some time now, especially after the way he fixated on how Sokka had ruined his plans at Gaipan. Jet's ranting back then had focussed much more on Sokka's physical attributes than his plan-foiling sneakiness. They hadn't talked about it then, and maybe they should have.

"Jet, are you crushing on this guy?" Smellerbee ventured. Jet's mouth hung open and he gaped at her like a fish. "It's okay if you are!" she added hastily.

"What the actual fuck, Smellerbee? Why would you even think that?"

"Well, you spend every waking minute either stalking him, obsessing about him, or talking about him. It's not healthy. You haven't made out with a girl since Bossy Sexy Katara. You were super into him on the boat, and really offended when he didn't want to join us, and then as soon as you saw his uncle with a cup of tea, you decided – through some bizarre leap of logic – that Lee was a firebender and you've been following him pretty much non-stop since then."

"He is a firebender!"

"Jet, you are basing this off the fact that his uncle was holding tea, and _that's it._ You have no other evidence," Smellerbee gave Jet a long look. Surely even he could see how ridiculous he was being.

Jet looked a little ashamed and stared at his feet. "He also calls me a hedgehog fucker a lot. Fire Nation soldiers say that."

Longshot gave him a look that said, _We're not buying what you're selling. Lots of people besides Fire Nation soldiers have called you a hedgehog fucker._

"It's okay, we won't judge you if you are attracted to him," Smellerbee said reassuringly. "He's not my type, but dude is hot." This was so obviously untrue that she had to add, "Well, we do judge you a little bit for the obsessive stalking. That's weird."

Jet had what could only be described as a massive tantrum in response. Then he didn't speak to Smellerbee for two days. The upside of this was that for those two days he stopped stalking Lee, mostly because he didn't seem to want to invite any more comments from Smellerbee and was content to sulk in the shelter.

Every day, Smellerbee would invite him to come job hunting with them. On the third day, he said "fuck that" in response, which was the first thing he'd said to her since she first brought up his crush on Lee. Smellerbee hated seeing Jet so down in the dumps, but she had an idea about how to help him. She and Longshot went to Lee's teashop. Lee had already gotten a job, like a good boy.

They didn't have any money, but Lee gave them free tea and dumplings. He said it was out of heist solidarity, but they all knew it was because he felt really sorry for them. He said they looked like feral animals when they eye-balled everyone else's food. That was insulting, but the insults came with free dumplings, so Smellerbee let it slide. Jet would be too proud to eat the free Lee dumplings, but Smellerbee wasn't.

Lee asked them a couple of questions about why they were still living at the shelter. Really, Smellerbee and Longshot often got rejected for jobs because they were considered a bit too young. They had been hoping that Jet would pick up the slack there, but no luck. This explanation helped her segue into what she really wanted to talk to Lee about.

"So, Lee, you might have noticed Jet's been stalking you, and we think we know why …"

"I already know why. He tells me he wants to see me dragged away by the Dai Lee," Lee said shortly, looking grumpy.

"Yeah, but that's not the real reason _."_

"What's the real reason?" Lee asked as he set up their cups for tea.

Smellerbee paused, thinking about how best to explain it. The poor guy was just trying to serve tea with his uncle. He didn't deserve having to put up with Jet's weird, creepy crush. It was an awkward thing to tell someone. She looked and Longshot. His expression said, _Jet is being childish and ridiculous, so explain the crush in a childish way._

"You know when the little boy pulls the little girl's pigtails? It's because he likes the girl and wants her to talk to him. Jet has a crush on you and wants you to be his boyfriend."

Lee nearly spilled the tea he'd been pouring for Longshot in surprise. Thankfully, he was able to catch the teapot with his ridiculously massive hands.

"Wait, am I the little girl with pigtails in this?" Lee put the pot back down, wrinkling his nose in confusion.

"Yeah, don't dwell on that. You interested in Jet?"

"Fuck no! Even if I were into guys, I wouldn't want a guy who pulls my pigtails. I mean my hair."

Smellerbee couldn't fault his logic. That response had been about what she had been expecting.

"I still don't believe he has a crush on me," Lee said with a very bamboozled expression. "I've been doing nothing but beat him up."

"I actually think that turns him on. Jet thinks it is very _sexy_ when you punch him."

"Gross. There go my good feelings about punching him." He still looked heartily perplexed as he turned back to Smellerbee. "Are you sure? I mean no one has a crush on me. I have..." He gestured vaguely to the massive scar on his face.

"You're not the only one who's been burned by the Fire Nation, pal. Heaps of people here have burn scars."

Smellerbee gestured around the teashop. There were several people sporting large burns. Lee looked startled as he glanced around, like he hadn't noticed all the other people who'd been done dirty by the Fire Nation. He had heaps of scar buddies.

Lee's scar was one of the worst she'd seen though. When she first met Lee, it was hard to look at his scar and even harder not to stare at it. She had winced a little when she first saw it, just imagining how painful it would have been, but it hadn't taken very long before the scar just became a part of Lee's face.

Still, Smellerbee could understand why he would be self-conscious about it. Some firebender had hurt him real bad. Lee had obviously been quite good-looking before it had happened. His scar probably made him feel ugly. She wasn't in the habit of saying touchy-feely, nice things, but she wanted to cheer him up.

She said, without any sarcasm at all, "You're still very man-pretty, even with that scar."

"This isn't pretty!" Lee hissed, pointing at his scar.

She whacked him lightly with her chopsticks in response. "Stop fishing for compliments. You know you're smoking hot." She only had so much touchy-feely, nice stuff in her.

The chopstick whack and being called smoking hot stopped Lee in his tracks. He blushed furiously and seemed to have no idea how to react. He huffed, looked to the left, looked to the right, and then made a very offended face at Smellerbee and Longshot. "I don't have time for this. I have to get back to work!" he grumbled at them and buggered off to serve tea.

Smellerbee and Longshot sat and waited for another chance to speak to him, because Smellerbee had a plan she needed to discuss with him. They ate their free dumpling and drank their free tea and stayed well past their welcome. Lee would periodically threaten to kick them out if they didn't order something, but he never actually followed through. He even caved completely and brought them a second round of free tea and dumplings after he found out they hadn't had a hot meal since coming to the city.

 _I say we stay until Lee stops feeding us,_ Longshot told her with a look.

Smellerbee was in agreement.

They stayed until it was nearly closing time and gestured Lee over to sit with them. He had already swept the floor, wiped the tables, and washed all the cups. He was out of "I have work to do" excuses. He wandered over and sat down with a huge sigh.

"I can't believe you guys are still here," he muttered.

"Look, I came to help you get Jet to stop stalking you. I think we can all agree that this little obsession is obsessive and weird and creepy. We want him to stop just as much as you do."

"No one wants him to stop as much as I do."

"Okay. You win. Jet is annoying you _more_ than he is annoying us. Here is your prize." Smellerbee waved her hands around and mimed handing him some elaborate, imaginary trophy.

"My prize is _nothing!_ You handed me _air!_ " Lee looked annoyed before he thought for a moment. "Ah. I see what happened there."

"Look, this crush … I think it's because you're both tall, grumpy bitches with messy dark hair and two swords. Jet really wants to date himself, and you're just the closest he's come."

This was her current theory. It was based on Jet's narcissism and the fact that he could look at himself, winking, in a reflective surface for an extraordinary length of time.

"Wait, now he wants to date himself?" Lee said in utter bafflement. "Why doesn't he just..." Lee trailed off here and mimed wanking while blushing horrendously.

 _Holy balls! He was a bit of a shy, delicate one,_ Smellerbee thought with some surprise. Lee could call people hedgehog fuckers all day long, but he couldn't even say wanking.

"He does," she informed him. Jet was a champion on that front! "He's probably thinking about you or Bossy, Sexy Katara when he does."

Lee pretty much fell off his chair in surprise. "What about Katara?" he asked as he collected himself, still going redder than a radish.

"She was his last girlfriend. She was hot. Really hot. But so damn bossy. She could order me around all day, every day, then spank me when I was naughty, you know what I mean," Smellerbee added with a cheeky wink. "I'd say the two of you would be Jet's _ultimate fantasy threesome._ I'm sure he imagines the three of you spanking each other a lot."

Lee stared into the middle distance, looking frozen in abject horror. He didn't say anything for a very long time. Longshot poked him and gave him a concerned look before turning to Smellerbee and saying, " _You broke his brain"_ with his eyes.

"Lee ... Lee ... You okay?" Smellerbee poked him.

"No, I'm not okay! I don't want Katara to be in Jet's fantasy threesome!"

His boss made a face at him. This face clearly said _no yelling about threesomes in the teashop._ Lee seemed to know Katara, too. He was a lot more upset at the idea of her and Jet together than he was at all of the other Jet-related shenanigans. Was it jealousy? Had he had a crush on Bossy, Sexy Katara too? Not that Smellerbee would blame him.

Ah, Katara.

"Listen, to fix this stalking situation, you gotta ... be nice to Jet," Smellerbee said flatly, cutting to the chase.

Lee scoffed so loud that it almost sounded like he was choking on his own spit. Longshot gave him a couple of thwacks on the back.

"Seriously. When you're an asshole to him, he feels really rejected and obsesses about you all the more. If you hurt his feelings, Jet lashes out at you and actually ups his stalking routine. I think you've got to break up with him really nicely if you want him to stop."

"Break up with him? We were never going out!"

"Whatever. That's irrelevant at this point." Smellerbee waved off his protestations.

It really was relevant to Lee that Smellerbee knew they were never going out, so he protested a great deal.

"Just be super nice to him, let him down gently," Smellerbee cut in over the top of his bitching.

Lee looked unconvinced.

"Just help us out. Please." Smellerbee wasn't prone to pleading, but she really needed the old Jet back. For that she needed Lee not to be a dick.

"Fine. I'll help you guys out. What do you want me to say?"

"I've written out a speech, actually." Smellerbee handed it to him. "You can just read this out to Jet."

Lee took the paper and read through it, looking grim. "I'll do it. But this had better work, Smellerbee!"

Lee'd do what needed to be done, no matter how distasteful he found it. Smellerbee liked him for that. Jet had been right about one thing. Lee really would have been a great freedom fighter.

-0-

"Look, Jet, I think you're"—Lee paused and took a deep breath, like he was steeling himself to eat something disgusting—"a really nice guy?"

"What? No you don't. You hate me."

Lee was his nemesis. They were nemesises ... nemesisi? Whatever. They were enemies. Jet liked having a proper enemy again. He'd been fighting the Fire Nation for so long. The city had been hard at first because there hadn't been anyone to properly fight. But then Lee started fighting him, and it had made Jet so happy. It filled the hole fighting the Fire Nation had left.

"Fine. I do, but Smellerbee says letting someone down gently always starts with something positive!" Lee harrumphed back at him.

"Excuse me?" Jet said, feeling his eyebrows climb very high on his face.

What was this now? Smellerbee and Lee had been hanging out? Jet thought this would just be a normal day stalking, but Lee had turned around in the middle of the market place, sighed "Why me?" up at the sky, and then gestured for Jet to follow him down this alley, saying they needed to talk.

Something _weird_ was happening. Lee was fidgeting for one. He wasn't one of life's fidgeters. He was always moving gracefully and with purpose. It was annoying. Lee was also looking super embarrassed. He glanced to the left, then to the right, put his hands in his pockets, took them out again and crossed his arms, then he said, "Fuck it, this is too embarrassing."

Lee reached into his pocket again and pulled out a piece of paper that was, bizarrely, covered in Smellerbee's writing. He started to read from the paper, in a very awkward fashion, and refused to meet Jet's eyes.

"Dear Jet, I am very flattered by the fact that you have a crush on me..." Lee began, going bright red.

Jet listened, mouth open and eyes agog, as Lee read Smellerbee's _Guide to Letting Jet Down Gently_ out loud. He could tell that Smellerbee had written all of this, and Lee was just reading it word for word.

 _What the actual fuck?_

Smellerbee had told Lee about her ridiculous crush theory? She had coached him on how to break up with Jet? Now Lee was convinced that all of Jet's stalking had been pathetic, perverted, crush-induced stalking. Lee thought that if Jet fancied someone, he would resort to stalking them, instead of walking up to them, making suave eyes and saying _how you doing?_ It was humiliating.

If Jet wanted to date Lee, they would already be going out! Jet was charming as fuck. Very few people said no to him. Except for Bossy, Sexy Katara and her improbably good-looking, nerd brother, Sokka.

Jet had heard enough of Smellerbee's break-up speech. He grabbed the paper off Lee. He started tearing it and scrunching it, then he threw it on the ground and stomped on it rather vigorously while swearing a blue streak (mostly along the lines of fuck Smellerbee, fuck Lee, fuck Ba Sing Se, and fuck Lee (again) for being a firebender, because all firebenders had to fucking die).

Was it a tantrum?

Yes.

Was it very undignified?

Also yes.

Lee was watching, looking both appalled and morbidly entertained. He also looked like he was _feeling sorry_ for Jet, like Jet was pathetic and needed to be pitied. This was the very worse. Jet wasn't going to be pitied by Lee of all people. He resorted to violence and gave the other boy a huge shove, pushing him against the alley wall.

"Listen, arseface! I'm not into you. I'm into girls. Hot girls. Not boys. Just a few months ago, I was banging bossy, sexy Katara, the hottest waterbender ever! I popped her cherry and knobbed her good and proper. She was dynamite in the sack. She's my type!"

"I don't believe you," Lee hissed through gritted teeth, clenching his fists and tensing the muscles in his jaw.

That was good. Now they were both angry.

"For fuck's sake! I'm not gay and even if I was, I wouldn't fancy you – not with your face all messed up by that huge, nasty scar!"

It was a low blow. It was a dick move. It was the meanest thing Jet had ever said to anybody's face. Lee recoiled from him, and his expression looked so hurt. Jet actually _felt bad ..._ but not for long.

"Well, you can fuck right off then! Why are you even stalking me in the first place?" Lee said, and kneed Jet in the stomach.

"Not for your _tight behind_ and your _conversation skills_ , that's for sure!" Jet fired back, trying to punch him.

Their fight exploded back into the market place. It was brutal and chaotic and exhilarating. Lee was mostly just making this incoherently angry noise during the fight, but Jet could have sworn he also yelled 'Don't talk about Katara like that!" everytime Jet said something about knobbing her. It was hard to tell with fruit flying everywhere.

Jet was hitting Lee with whatever he could lay his hands on. He ended up wielding a chain of sausages like they were nunchucks and began beating Lee over his head, getting little bits of sausage meat in his hair. Lee didn't care about sausage meat in his hair. He didn't seem to care about his hair at all. It was always so messy. It bugged Jet how messy it was. Jet started taunting him with personal grooming tips.

Lee threw a boatload of fruit at Jet and got him in the sternum with a big melon. It hurt. Jet doubled-over, winded, and Lee went on the Great Pineapple Offensive. He squirted the pineapple juice in Jet's eyes, and it stung like a bitch. Lee then walloped Jet around the head with the spikey bit very enthusiastically. He broke more than a few pineapples doing this.

They were arrested by the district guards not long after the fifth pineapple. It took three guys to pull Lee off Jet. They were handcuffed with the rock manacles and frog-marched through the market place together. Jet kept trying to trip Lee over until a guard had to walk between them to prevent this. They were locked up together with the other misdemeanour miscreants for the longest seventy-seven minutes of Jet's life. They spent the entirety of that time glaring at each other from opposite sides of the cell, like they were in the world's longest and most hateful staring competition, until Lee's uncle came to bail him out with great fuss.

Jet watched Lee leave, striding away on his stupidly long legs, all tall and angry and annoyingly handsome even though he was covered in pineapple juice and market debris.

Jet vowed that day and night, he'd watch Lee. The bastard was bound to make a mistake at some point.

All Jet had to do was wait.

-0-

"Serve me, bitch!" Jet said smugly from his place at a table.

Iroh frowned deeply at the way Jet talked to his nephew. The quiet Longshot, a pretty girl, and the lovely, ambiguously gendered Smellerbee were sitting with him. Smellerbee gave Jet a thorough scolding, muttering something like, "I brought you here to apologise, you asshole." She whacked him in the shoulder. Longshot gave him a very unimpressed look. The pretty girl, who was clearly Jet's date, expressed her distaste for his behaviour.

Though Jet was spiteful, he had been very fortunate in his friends. Zuko had felt sorry for the other two children and had asked Iroh if any of the Flower Friends could help them find jobs so they could move out of the shelter. Zuko was under no illusion about how Iroh had landed their jobs at the teashop so quickly, but he hadn't made a fuss about it. Now Zuko was openly acknowledging that the White Lotus was a useful network and had asked for help, and for that Iroh would always be grateful to the two youngsters.

Jet really was a rather unpleasant young man, and his obsession with Zuko was especially concerning. Iroh had felt that familiar dreadful wave of worry lurching in his stomach when the local guards had shown up at the teashop the other day, saying "It's about your nephew." For one split second he had feared the worst – and he wondered if Zuko was ever going to stop making him worry like this. Would there ever be a time and place when Iroh could relax and feel confident that there was very little danger for Zuko to find.

Iroh knew all about his nephew's attempts to spy on the Dai Lee. He wasn't a fool. In a city as safe as Ba Sing Se, Zuko had found the most dangerous thing he could do and took to it like a turtleduck in water. Iroh had been completely unable to dissuade him from doing it. Zuko promised to be careful but refused to give it up.

Iroh had lectured him very extensively about their need to keep a low profile after he bailed the boy out from the local guard precinct. Zuko, to his credit, really was trying. But Jet seemed determined to fight with him. Jet was actually the most vexatious person Iroh had encountered in a long time. He knew Zuko's temper, and knew there was only so much his nephew would tolerate before he exploded again. He was getting dangerously close to exploding point.

"Can I kick him out?" Zuko stormed into the kitchen and asked Long Su.

"No, he is a paying customer." Long Su prepared the order for table sixteen and passed it over.

"But he's calling me a bitch."

"The customer is always right. If he says you're a bitch, then..." Long Su trailed off and shrugged.

Zuko made a very offended face.

"Welcome to customer service, my lad," Long Su said dryly.

Zuko mumbled something in a disgruntled manner, then sighed dramatically like he was the most put upon person in the world before he took the order back out to the table. There was a quick commotion from Jet's table. Iroh gathered that Jet had said something rude and/or offensive to all parties. The pretty girl got up and slapped him hard across the face and flounced off.

"This is why we can't have nice things, Jet!" Smellerbee said, and she also slapped Jet upside the head and departed.

Longshot silently grabbed his friend and dragged him to the door, paying for the tea as he left and shaking his head disapprovingly. He gave Zuko a long look as he paid. Zuko seemed to know what he was trying to say because he shrugged at Longshot, saying, "Don't worry. It's fine. I'm used to dealing with this arsehole by now. "

Iroh had felt misplaced relief when no explosion had happened that night.

Instead, the situation reached exploding point a few nights later.

Jet burst into their teashop, yelling about how he was tired of waiting. He accused them both of being firebenders and tried to attack Iroh. Zuko quickly intervened, "borrowing" a guard's dual dao swords to challenge Jet. A fight between the two boys broke out. A good portion of the furniture in the teashop had been smashed before they took their fight to the street. Jet started yelling about the Fire Nation, and the crowd recoiled from him and held its collective breath. They knew what was coming.

The Dai Lee oozed unpleasantly from the shadows to arrest Jet. The boy was dragged away, still shouting manically. The crowd dispersed. Zuko handed the swords back to guardsman, Lo, who gave him a huge scolding about public brawling, especially so soon after he was released from their holding cell. However, guardsman Lo ackowlegded that Jet "had it coming" and Zuko had been acting in uncle-defense. He was let off with a warning.

Iroh closed up the shop, surveyed the damage, and sighed. He and Zuko had a huge clean up job ahead of them. But Iroh made time to deliver a scolding of his own. Iroh was feeling surprisingly angry and it came through in his tone. This recklessness really was going to get Zuko killed one day. Iroh couldn't bear to lose another son to this city.

"You didn't think! You let him goad you into another fight in public!" Iroh admonished. "What have I been teaching you? If we are going to survive you have got to be less reckless. Never rise to the obvious bait, always pick your battles, and always know your enemy!"

"Jet was going to out you as a firebender!" Zuko whispered defensively, trying to keep his voice down out of paranoia, and withdrawing from Iroh out of ... fear? Iroh didn't often raise his voice at Zuko this way and Zuko had seemed very taken aback. He was avoiding Iroh's gaze and had shrunk in on himself, arms crossed over his chest.

"That crazy fool had no proof," Iroh said more gently.

He didn't want to shout at Zuko, but he needed his nephew to understand a few things about how the world really worked. Zuko would have to know how to spot the _real enemy._

Iroh put his hand on Zuko's shoulder and looked him in the eye. "That fool boy was not our enemy, Zuko. The Dai Li will mostly likely murder him now. It is them, with their authoritarian stranglehold on this place, who are the real danger here. Now they will be watching you closely. This may affect your ... other activities."

Zuko seemed to absorb this, properly understanding the wider repercussions of his impulsive act. He looked down, ashamed.

"Was this what you wanted?" Iroh asked, knowing the answer was no.

"I wanted to protect you," Zuko said softly.

"I am the one who should be protecting you."

Zuko had conceded the argument, but Iroh didn't feel like he had won either.

-0-

"It's sort of like running into someone in a brothel isn't it. Like _oops, you caught us._ I know we aren't meant to be there, but you're definitely not meant to be there either, so we're both up to something dodgy."

True. They all shouldn't have been in the Dai Lee office, but Zuko didn't think Smellerbee needed to go comparing that horribly, disgusting den of iniquity to a poor, innocent brothel.

Zuko crossed his arms and frowned severely down at the girl, saying nothing. These agni-damned juvenile delinquents, these two fucking reprobates, had ruined everything. Zuko didn't have the words for how much that annoyed him, so he was taking a leaf out of Longshot's book. Sometimes just making a cranky face at someone was all he needed to do. He didn't need to shout.

Smellerbee actually looked a little ashamed when he gave her the cranky face and began wriggling her toes into the dirty street. "Thanks for helping us out there," she said softly, and quiet Longshot nodded in agreement.

They had followed him into the Dai Lee office and had nearly gotten themselves and Zuko caught. He'd had to think really quickly to get them all out unseen and unscathed. He'd also had to abandon his spying plans for the night, which was annoying. They'd had a lucky escape tonight. Zuko was beginning to see the wisdom in not tempting fate given how much the spirits hated him. Zuko knew his uncle would kill him if he ended up being murdered by the Dai Lee.

"Sorry we followed you, but we want to find Jet too," she said softly.

"Jet? I'm not looking for Jet!" He wasn't breaking into Dai Lee offices and trying to map all their locations around the city for _Jet_ of all people.

"Who are you doing it for?" Smellerbee asked.

 _Appa._

Zuko thought of the way the bison always used to nuzzle him with his shaggy head when Zuko was feeling down. Zuko just had to figure out where those bastards had locked him up. He wasn't going to let Appa be locked up by the Dai Lee if he could do anything to help it. But Smellerbee didn't need to know that.

"None of your business," Zuko said shortly as he started to walk away.

Smellerbee quickly began walking to keep up with him. "Well, Lee, you don't have to tell me. But I was thinking, if we are both trying to get people back from the Dai Lee, we could always work together. You're a good ninja, but Longshot and I are no slouches when it comes to sneaking into places. We can give you back up."

"No thanks. I work alone."

"See, the thing is, you can say that, but it's not going to be true. We are probably just going to follow you anyway. You seem to have a bit of a head start on breaking into Dai Lee locations, so it makes sense that we tag along. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way."

"Excuse me?"

Was she threatening him?

"You can say yes, and we'll all work together happily, or you can say no – I'll kick up a big hooha right here in the street and attract Dai Li attention. So, what d'ya say?"

She was threatening him!

So much for honour among thieves!

He felt a rush of anger, but he bit back the mean, sarcastic comment that sprang to his lips and tried to think strategically rather than just reacting. He'd always gotten along with Smellerbee, but he also knew she'd throw him under the komono-rhino-cart in a heartbeat to help Jet. Zuko was offended by the nerve of it, but at least he could appreciate her honesty. She was manipulating him, but he still knew where he stood with Smellerbee.

She also had a point. The three of them working together would be more effective. Prisons big enough to hold a bison would be massive. If he had two people with him, they could split up and make searches quicker. He'd have to tell them he was looking for Appa. They were definitely against the Fire Nation and had expressed pride at "knowing" the Avatar, so he didn't think they'd object. Smellerbee and Longshot weren't terrible at ninja-ing. It would only take a little training and they'd be okay.

It would be _faster,_ too, which was the most important. It had already been ages since he first heard the agents talking about Appa. Zuko didn't like the thought of Appa locked up and alone with those terrible people for a minute longer than he needed to be.

Suddenly, he remembered sitting with Sokka on a ridge line so long ago. _"If we work together, we have a much better chance of getting him out. At this exact moment, we have a mutual goal. You don't have to do this alone."_ Zuko had agreed to the deal Sokka had offered. It had changed his life forever, that night. Even after everything that had happened to him as a result, Zuko had never regretted it.

He hoped he wasn't going to regret this.

"Well, if you put it that way, of course yes," he grumbled with a roll of his eyes.

He agreed to working with them, but he wasn't going to be nice about it.

-0-

Notes:

Boogum is the world's very best beta and has taken this chapter from drivel to divine! I thank her from the bottom of my heart! Everyone praise her amazing skills!

Huge thanks to everyone for such wonderful comments and feedback. Life has been so busy lately but knowing that people are reading and enjoying this keeps me motivated to make time for writing.

I don't focus as much on the Gaang in this chapter because not much has changed for them from their original storyline. They get creepy Joo-dee guides. They're trying to figure out what is askew in Ba Sing Se. They are looking for Appa (and now Zuko too), but being mired by bureaucracy. Not much changed for them. More changed for Zuko so he got the focus of this chapter.

Note Zuko does not read the terms and conditions.

Heaps of the Ba Sing Se shenanigans are lifted from my other fic _Jet's troubling obsession._ It's stalking Zuko from Jet's perspective. Their fights, dialogue and Jet's date are from that fic.

Long Su's name is short for long suffering – as all customer service employees are long suffering. You that meme – _some of you have never worked in customer service, and it shows._ Well now, no one can say that to poor Zuko. Poor Zuko suffers so much, but I feel like he would rate having to serve Jet as one of the worst things ever.

I have an irrationally big soft spot for Smellerbee and Long-shot. I can see Zuko, while he's not as practised at "brothering" as Sokka, would very quickly assume the _perpetually irritated by your shenanigans but I'll look out for you anyway_ older brother role for those two reprobates.

Smellerbee is another bratty little sister figure for Zuko. But who better than a bratty little sister to tell him that he is actually quite attractive? I feel like this was something Zuko needed to be explicitly told, (especially before he goes back to the Fire Nation and has his slew of fangirls wanting to ride the grumpy-express – goodness, that is going to confuse the crap out of him). He would have no idea that he is considered handsome (he thinks girls who look at him adoringly are secretly spies etc). Someone needed to tell him he was good looking, and point out bluntly that having a burn scar is not uncommon in the ATLA world. Toph is normally my girl for bratty little sister conversations, but for obvious reasons she had to sit this one out.

Zuko's face was mutilated when he was a pre-pubescent, wide-eyed thirteen-year-old. He would have massive emotional damage about his appearance and very little self-confidence in his looks. Of course Katara has told him she thinks he's handsome, but Zuko thinks Katara is one-in-a-million. He would think she was just saying it because she was his girlfriend and she's one of the only people in the world who isn't bothered by the scar.

Jet's obsession with Zuko always seemed strange to me as Zuko didn't really do anything suspicious. I feel like bisexual crush is the best theory out there (plus it makes those creepy scenes and the scenes where longshot and smellerbee are trying to discourage Jet inadvertently hilarious). However, coming to terms with bisexuality is a real struggle and I would never poke fun at that. It's not uncommon for kids who are struggling with this to redirect their anger and negative-self image onto the object of their affections. Add Jet's trauma and obsessive hatred of the Fire Nation into a mix and there is a volatile cocktail of feelings.

Our gang will be reunited next chapter.. until then!


	10. The Reunion

-0-

They had a bit of a squabble over Toph's many sarcastic comments in regards to Sokka's posters. Sokka knew it was hypocritical for him to get annoyed by someone's sarcasm, but did Toph really _have_ to do it all the time? She pointed out that he was the most sarcastic person she had ever met. She declared boldly that she could live without sarcasm. But she was sure Sokka would spontaneously combust if he had to go more than an hour without making a sarcastic remark.

"Please, neither of you can live without sarcasm," Katara chimed in while she did the dishes. "Rather than arguing with each other about who is more sarcastic, could one of you help me dry these?"

"Okay, I have an idea," Toph said. "Let's make a bet. The first person to say something sarcastic has to help Katara with the chores for the rest of time."

"The rest of time is a bit excessive. Why don't we put an end date on it – like when we leave Ba Sing Se?"

Sokka knew that Toph thought she had this in the bag, but she was also the type who blurted out whatever joke she thought was funny. She wouldn't be able to help herself. Sokka was older and had more practise restraining himself. He'd held so many comments back for the sake of other people's feelings lately. He was sure he could do it for the sake of watching Toph do the dishes.

"Deal! You are going down, Sokka."

"Oi!" Katara's irritated voice came from the kitchen. "These dishes aren't drying themselves!" She turned to Aang, who'd landed neatly on the verandah. "Aang, will you help?"

"Leave the dishes. Finding Appa is more important. I dropped posters all over the city and we still haven't heard anything."

"Aang, you might have to be a bit more patient," Katara said softly.

Less than a moment later, there was a knock at the door. Poor, sweet, optimistic, vegetarian Aang thought that their visitor would be "patience paying off", but it wasn't.

It was Joo Dee, original flavour.

They'd been through a few Joo Dees by this point. They all had the exact same personality and it was giving Sokka the creeps. There was clearly some nefarious, brain-washing thing happening, but Sokka wasn't sure what they could do to stop it.

They had gone into the Lower Ring, District Twenty-Two, when Katara was looking for Zuko again. (She was working her way up the numbered districts, but she hadn't had any luck so far.) They'd gone to the market with Joo Dee number four. There, they'd run into that Joo Dee's family, and it had been awful. Joo Dee hadn't recognised her own daughter. The poor little girl had been crying. The father pleaded with Aang to fly away with her, just before the Dai Li had showed up, so her distraught sobbing didn't tip them off. Then this poor husband had to pretend that he didn't know his own wife. He had to say shit like, "There is no war in Ba Sing Se," and "No, nothing unusual happened."

Katara had been shaking with rage. She had tried to heal their Joo Dee's memories when they got back home, but she had no idea what she was doing. Joo Dee had sat there in the chair making inane comments like, "This is a quaint Water Tribe custom, isn't it – to repeatedly splash your host in the face?", but otherwise not resisting. The next day they were given a new Joo Dee to escort them. They hadn't seen Joo Dee number four since.

Joo Dee, original flavour, had obviously been sent by the Dai Li to be an enormous obstruction to their attempt at finding Appa. Sokka wondered if she had a family missing her out there as well. She probably did.

Sokka saw Aang well and truly lose his temper with her. Aang losing his temper happened rarely, but it was always a sight to behold when it did. Aang was done putting up with these stupid rules! Toph was so delighted about breaking some rules that she broke a wall in her excitement.

"Let's go put these posters up on some walls now!" Aang said, thrusting the papers at Katara, who began sorting them out into piles as they walked.

They started at the Upper Ring and worked their way down. Sokka stuck with Toph. He wasn't going to let her off the hook. He needed to watch her in case she said something sarcastic. Also, he knew putting up posters was pretty much impossible for her to do on her own, and she'd hate to be left out just because she was blind.

They started talking in this oddly formal fashion with each other to avoid anything even remotely sarcastic. They had made it all the way to the Twentieth District when they heard a big commotion coming from nearby. Sokka recognised the sound of Katara shouting and waterbending.

Uh oh.

They raced to her and found her at the opening of a street, breathing heavily with her arms up in a bending pose. Her hands were pointing towards the back of the dead end.

"My dear sister, what is the source of all this commotion?" Sokka asked.

"Why are you talking so weird?" she said, eyebrow raised.

"Weirdly? Me? Oh pish posh. I have always spoken most elegantly."

"As have I, my dear woman!" Toph chimed in. "My, what a lovely day it is for waterbending. Whom, pray tell, are you bending at today?"

Katara blinked twice, looking between them in irritation.

"Whatever. Jet's back." She pointed angrily towards a boy with an exceptionally well-groomed and 'artfully dishevelled' hairdo. She had frozen him to the back of the wall of the alley.

"Yo," Jet said ever so coolly, with a sardonic little wave of his unfrozen hand.

Then Aang came and Jet spouted some bullshit for him. Jet said he wanted to help them find Appa, and he had changed. "People _change,_ you guys," he said insistently. "I swear I'm not the same guy I was back in Gaipan. I don't want to drown anyone now. I just want to help."

People did change. Sokka knew that was true. But he just didn't know if Jet was capable of it. Sokka had very quickly judged Jet harshly when he first met him. Sokka had been wrong about many things, but he was sure he had been absolutely right about Jet.

Two of Jet's cronies showed up, and Sokka felt vindicated. It turned out that Jet had been captured by the Dai Li and brainwashed. Jet hadn't _changed._ Jet was a Dai Li plant and he hadn't even known it.

Smellerbee told them that they had been looking for Jet and Appa at the same time, scoping out different Dai Lee prisons and holding cells. They really wanted to help, too. Sokka was surprised that any of Jet's cronies would do anything to help them out of the goodness of their heart. Katara was always going on about looking for the best in people. Sokka had always assumed this was just part of her hopeful optimist schtick, but maybe she had been right.

They went to the newly created zoo to talk, because they needed a place where the Dai Lee couldn't listen in. There were no other buildings for those slimeballs to be lurking in, only the open sky above and the earth below – and if those sneaky dickheads were hiding under them, Toph would feel it. Also Smellerbee and Longshot had never been to the zoo and realised that Aang would get them in for free. They were quick to grab a freebie, those two.

Jet kept trying to encourage them all to go to this warehouse where he had seen Appa, saying they were going to move the bison soon. This smelled like a trap to Sokka. That was just what the Dai Li wanted Jet to say!

Still, Aang wanted to check it out. Sokka said that before they did that, they had to figure out how much the Dai Li had washed out of Jet's overly-styled head. They needed to unwash Jet's brain and get a better picture of what the Dai Li were doing, then it would make coming up with a plan easier.

Katara gave it a try with her healing water, but her attempt left both her and Jet reeling. Jet was obviously shaken from whatever she'd done and had gone very pale. Smellerbee got worried for him and said that before they splashed Jet again, they should try and figure out how much he remembered and see if they could figure out which memories the Dai Li altered. Jet knew who they were, so the Dai Li had left his memories of Gaipan intact. They should start there and work forward.

"It's only logical," Smellerbee concluded.

She liked to do things logically? Sokka really _had_ misjudged her.

"Do you remember why we left the forest?" Smellerbee asked Jet matter-of-factly.

Jet hung his head. "Yes."

"Do you remember why the Duke and Pipsqueak left?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember that you did the exact same thing here, you arsehole!" Smellerbee suddenly smacked him upside the head.

"Jeez, Smellerbee, why did you have to go bring that up?" Jet huffed.

"Wait. Why did they leave?" Sokka interjected, wanting to understand what was happening in this conversation.

"After we exploded the dam, Pipsqueak said Jet was becoming a monster," Smellerbee explained. "He said Jet was going to get someone killed. He wasn't going to let that happen to The Duke. They had an argument and he ended up punching Jet. Then he left with The Duke and most of the little kids. It split up our group. Pipsqueak said Jet was too obsessed with fighting the Fire Nation to ever change."

"We have to fight the Fire Nation! They're all monsters who..."

Longshot rolled his eyes at Jet. Jet didn't seem to realise he was proving Smellerbee's point for her. Smellerbee didn't seem smugly vindicated. She was exasperated instead.

"Gah, will you just STOP already!" Smellerbee shouted at him with real feeling. "I wish the Dai Li could wash away how much you hate the Fire Nation, because this is getting ridiculous."

Jet was stunned into silence.

"You have to let this go, Jet. We were meant to make a fresh start here, and you ruined it! You went nuts! Lee is literally just some random ninja guy who only wanted to make tea with his uncle, break into Dai Li headquarters and steal shit, and you couldn't leave him alone! And he's not a firebender at all. No firebenders learn ninja shit. They just bust into a place and set everything on fire. But Lee's a great ninja. Did you ever think of that?"

Jet looked taken aback. He clearly had not considered this.

"He's been helping us as we looked for you! He was the one who wanted to look for Appa in the first place. He knows these guys!" Smellerbee pointed at them angrily.

Sokka exchanged _no way/yes way_ faces with Katara and Aang. Toph was no good at making _no way/yes way_ faces because of her blindness, but Sokka knew she got the general vibe of excitement.

Sokka couldn't believe this stroke of dumb luck. Ba Sing Se was massive. He'd known it was going to be exceedingly difficult to find Zuko in this city. He'd half given up hope that they would ever see their grumpiest friend again, despite all of Katara's attempts. But now Smellerbee was here, grumbling about a ninja named Lee with a tea loving uncle who wanted to free Appa. Sokka knew _exactly_ who that sounded like.

"But your _stupid crush_ on him made you do such stupid shit!" Smellerbee continued. "You got thrown in Dai Lee prison! You got brainwashed! We nearly lost you! So just fucking stop!"

Crush?

The plot was rapidly thickening.

"Okay, I have to ask, who is Lee?" Toph interjected.

"He's a firebender, I swear," Jet started to say, but Smellerbee covered his mouth with her hand.

"Shush," she said firmly, then looked at Toph. "It's a really long story."

"Well, we want to hear it."

"Knowing the full story would really help," Sokka said. "This city is so full of secrets and lies. The more real information we have, the better."

Smellerbee nodded. She was logical, too.

"Lee was this tall, grumpy boy we met on the ferry who was travelling with his uncle. He was a dual sword wielder too. Jet was instantly smitten with him and said shit like _he's perfect. I want him in our group._ "

"I wouldn't..." Jet said indignantly, breaking away from her.

Longshot came up behind him and covered Jet's mouth with his hand. He gave Jet a long look and then nodded at Smellerbee, indicating it was her turn to talk and Jet's turn to listen.

"Anyway, Lee helped us with some heists on the boat, 'cause first class were eating five course luxury and we were eating garbage. We broke into the kitchen together and looted all the good snacks and shared them out with all the other refugees. Lee could do heaps of tricks with his swords. Jet was watching him just like _in love_ at this point,"

Jet struggled against Longshot's hold, looking furious.

"The next day, he asked Lee to join us. Lee didn't like Jet that much and so he told Jet to go fuck himself sideways, which was kinda rude and unnecessary. I do give ya that, Jet. He's a rude ninja."

 _It was Zuko!_

Only Zuko told people to go fuck themselves sideways! He normally said it to Sokka, as a matter of fact. But Sokka had never been happier to hear that phrase! They'd found him at last.

"Then Jet saw Lee's uncle holding a cup of tea, so Jet immediately decided that Lee was a firebender _who needed to go down."_

"Why? I don't see how having a cup of tea means someone is a firebending," Aang said mildly. "I mean I like tea, and I'm not a firebender. I mean I could be, because I'm the Avatar, but …"

"Drinking tea and firebending actually aren't related at all," Smellerbee answered shortly. "This nonsense was never about whether Lee was a firebender. It was about Jet's big crush. Here's where it gets really weird."

Oh, good to know _this_ was the weird bit! Sokka managed to hold his sarcasm, but it was getting harder and harder the more Smellerbee spoke. Sokka's shoulders were shaking under the weight of all the sarcasm and wise-cracks he wasn't releasing.

"So, Jet stalks this poor dude non-stop for weeks, trying to _catch him out._ In what surprised exactly no one, Jet never saw any actual evidence of Lee firebending. Meanwhile, Lee is just confused as fuck by all this Jet-stalking. I told him about Jet's massive crush and said that if he broke up with Jet super nicely, Jet would get over it." Smellerbee gave Jet a very judgemental look.

"And let me guess, he told you to fuck off sideways, too?" Sokka ventured, feeling delighted.

Jet had a big bisexual crush on Zuko? Frozen hell _,_ the spirits had given Sokka a rare and hilarious gift. Sokka didn't care if he had to do chores with Katara until the end of time. Zuko was going to get so teased about this when they found him again.

"No, he wanted to help us. He's honestly a really decent guy, Jet. Sure, he's a bit of a grumpy bitch, but I dunno ... he's nice too. He showed Longshot and me how to ninja properly. He really looked out for us."

Jet looked like he was on the verge of literally dying from embarrassment, but Smellerbee still wasn't done.

"I wrote out the nicest, _sweetest_ breakup speech ever and Lee read it aloud to Jet. And then Jet just went absolutely fucking nuts. He said some super mean things about Lee's scar, 'cause Lee has this massive scar on his face and he's a bit sensitive about it. Then Jet started ranting about how he had been, ya know ... _intimate ._.. with Katara." She looked at Katara a little apologetically here. "Jet said banging Katara proved he wasn't bisexual. But this pissed Lee off so much more than the dig about the scar, I reckon."

"We were never intimate!" Katara shouted at Jet. She slapped him with a waterwhip several times and called him a couple of really rude names Sokka didn't think she knew. Then again, she had been dating Zuko.

"Don't pretend you didn't like it, baby!" Jet sassed back, with a little wink.

Katara blinked twice, then started slapping him vigorously with waterwhips again, clearly unimpressed with his attempts to charm her.

Sokka encouraged Smellerbee to ignore those two and get back to her story. She was gazing at Katara slapping Jet in a very distracted fashion and sighing wistfully.

"So Jet and Lee had this massive fight in the market place," Smellerbee continued. "They just grabbed any produce they could to hit each other with. Jet tried to beat Lee up with sausages and was like trying to use them as nunchucks, I think. Then Lee retaliates by whacking him with pineapples. I think some other fruit got involved too ... but mostly pineapples. I never knew pineapples were such a brutal and effective weapon, ya know? " Smellerbee sounded a little awed but also vaguely horrified.

"Lee beat the shit out of Jet with a pineapple?" Sokka asked gleefully.

Zuko had done his thing, _again!_ And he'd beaten up Jet. With a pineapple. This was even more awesome than when he'd beaten up Hahn. This was the best day ever.

"Yeah. He broke heaps of them over Jet's head. But then they got arrested by the home guard for brawling and destruction of market property and sausage vandalism and fruit ruining. They got thrown in the clink together. They had to share a cell and _not_ murder each other. I still have no idea how they both made it out alive. Lee's uncle bailed him out pretty quickly, but we let Jet sit in there for a little bit, hoping the shame of it would ... do something. Like make Jet stop being nuts, but no dice.

"Then Lee goes through this phase where he just really tries to, like, be a good boy and not get into fights and shenanigans." Smellerbee said this disdainfully. "Mostly 'cause his uncle was still lecturing him a full week later about the market place brawl." She put on an old man's voice. " _'_ Oh, Lee, you make me so worried. I have had eight hundred heart attacks because of you. You are so reckless, you give me more heart attacks. Now I have had nine hundred heart attacks. My life is one constant heart attack. If anything bad happens to you, I will die! You will kill me with your stupidity. There is no amount of calming tea in the world to make living with you less stressful _...'"_ She shrugged. "Like that kind of thing. It was the full-on guilt trip.

"You could tell Lee was really _trying_ too, 'cause he loved that old guy and didn't want to kill him with heart attacks. Lee was super keen on laying low and not attracting attention, since he and Jet had both had a first offence, and second offence carries a much higher ... consequence _._ Lee starts doing all this dramatic sighing and deep breathing shit whenever he hears the sound of Jet's voice, and clenching his fists and not reacting. It was like he had just got his five day token from anger management.

"So, naturally, Jet decides that this no-brawling situation can't stand, and he really wants Lee to fight him again. He barges into their teashop in their busy period and tries to attack Lee's uncle in front of everyone, even some guards. Jet goes directly for the old guy, saying he'll have to show us his bending to defend himself. So Lee says, 'You wanna show? I'll give you a show!' And it was badass! Lee was like , _'Oh hell no! Consequences be damned! It's ninja ass-kicking time!'_ I guess it just goes to show you..."

Everyone was looking at her eagerly, waiting for her to continue.

"What does it go to show you?" Sokka asked, feeling impatient.

"It doesn't matter if you're a ninja really trying to lay low, or a waterbender, or a hot girl from the flower market, or a giant hunk of muscle like Pipsqueak, there's only so far you can push someone before they want to bitch slap Jet with the first blunt or sharp object that comes to hand ... and Jet finds that point every damn time," she said with a shrug, like people wanting to bitch slap Jet with a variety of objects was a really common occurrence for her. Still, she looked at him fondly. "What am I going to do with you?" she said real softly as she ruffled her friend's hair.

"Then what happened?" Katara asked, looking at Smellerbee insistently.

"So Lee grabbed the nearest swords. I think he stole them from Guardsman Lo, actually. At least you were right about him being a thief, Jet."

"Because he stole Jet's heart?" Toph chimed in gleefully.

"No. Because Lee has stolen so much shit from the Dai Li. He really hates the Dai Li, you know. Most of it was finding-Appa related, but he confessed to me that he took some of the stuff just for the sheer joy of taking shit from those bastards and fucking with them. Total criminal there.

"Anyway, so those two idiots had this even more massive street fight. It was way bigger than the market brawl. Furniture and windows got smashed. They were pretty evenly matched with swords, and they were just _going at it,_ and it was like, the coolest fight ever! So this crowd gathered and people are cheering them on, and everyone's picking their fighter and placing bets and stuff, and that was kinda fun … until Jet started shouting about firebenders and the Fire Nation, and ruined a perfectly good public spectacle. The Dai Lee came pretty quickly after that to make it awful for everyone and arrest Jet, all because _there is no war in Ba Sing Se."_ She said the Joo Dee Line so bitterly. "And then Jet..."

"I don't care about Jet," Katara said dismissively. "We know what happened to Jet. What happened to Lee?"

Ouch. Jet was going to need some ice for that burn, and he certainly wasn't getting it from Katara! _This day just got better and better for Jet!_ Sokka thought gleefully.

"Lee wasn't shouting about the war like an idiot, so the Dai Li had zero interest in him. And Guardsman Lo also agreed that Jet was dick who attacked first." Smellerbee glanced at Jet apologetically.

Katara was still bouncing worriedly.

"Don't worry," Smellerbee added. "They left Lee alone. He's fine. Think he got a warning and like a buttload more lectures from his uncle, but no _other consequences_." She looked at Katara strangely. "You two know each other _real good,_ don't you?"

"You could say that," Katara said, a huge blush blossoming on her cheeks.

"Listen, can I talk to Jet privately for a moment?" Smellerbee asked suddenly.

Sokka nodded and they made a little huddle a few feet away from Longshot, Smellerbee and Jet. They all pretended they weren't listening while the other three had their conversation.

Smellerbee nodded at Longshot to let her friend go, saying, "I know this is hard for you, Jet, but you've got to let this craziness go. We want to help you, so don't freak out on us again. Please?"

Everyone's eyes turned to Jet, like they were expecting him to spontaneously combust with a combination of rage and humiliation. But he just crossed his arms defensively and looked down at the ground. He wouldn't even look up at Smellerbee.

"Lee is friends with these guys, so he can't be Fire Nation. Bossy, sexy Katara would never even be friends with anyone from the Fire Nation. You know how judgemental she is."

Katara made an extremely offended face at this, mouth open in indignation.

"He isn't our enemy," Smellerbee continued. "You were totally wrong about him. The Dai Li are the ones we really have to watch out for."

Jet still wouldn't look up.

"Look, even the Avatar thinks you were nuts, and it's his job to crush the Fire Nation."

"That's not actually my job," Aang said quickly, forgetting that they weren't meant to be listening. "I'm the spiritual bridge."

"Whatever. Do you think Jet was crazy and should stop trying to attack random guys just because he thinks they're a bit cute and their uncle has tea, oh wise spiritual bridge?"

Aang looked uncomfortable. He very clearly did not want to be dragged into the sheer amount of embarrassment, shame and disgrace going around in this conversation, but he'd already waded into it foolishly. "I think that's a good question for Jet," Aang said, passing the buck and trying to sound wise, but Sokka knew he was clearly trying to escape the awkwardness.

"Was it really like that?" Jet asked Smellerbee slowly. "Did I really do all those things? Is that really how I got arrested?"

"Yes. It was exactly like that."

Jet groaned and ran his hands through his overly styled hair, looking a little distressed. "What is this feeling? I feel all weird in my stomach. I kind of want to crawl into that badgermole hole and never come out."

"That's probably a combination of guilt and shame there, Jet," Sokka said. There was no point pretending they weren't listening now.

"Well, it sucks. How do I make the feeling go away!"

"By trying to do the right thing?" Aang offered. "You can help us find Appa at least."

"I'm telling you, Appa is definitely being moved to Whale Tail Island!" Jet cut in, still clearly still under the influence of his brainwashing.

"Shush, Jet," Smellerbee said indulgently. "You've done nothing but lie since we found you." She turned to Aang. "We've been looking for Appa with Lee for a while now, and we haven't found him yet. But we've ruled out heaps of places. Lee reckons Appa's got to be in Lake Laogai prison. That's the biggest prison. You need an earthbender to get in there, but Lee wouldn't let us solve that _the easy way_." She gave a huge roll of her eyes. "He's no fun, honestly. Anyway, we've been looking for another entrance, but no dice so far."

"Well, good thing I'm an earthbender," Toph announced proudly. "Let's do this the easy way."

Smellerbee gave her a look. It was clear having an earthbender volunteer wasn't what she meant by the _easy way,_ but she'd take it.

"I was at Lake Laogai," Jet announced quickly. Too quickly. "That was where they kept me. I think I remember the layout. I can help."

"Thanks for the offer, Jet, but we'll pass on your bundle of deception," Sokka said, finally breaking the no-sarcasm-pact. He just couldn't contain it any longer.

Toph smiled gleefully, but that wasn't important now. They needed to be logical about the next step.

"Can we have a moment now?" Sokka said, and dragged his friends back into the huddle while the other three stood awkwardly to the side, clearly also listening. "Let's not rush off with these three. Look, Jet was full of lies even before the Dai Li. Even if we could wash out everything they did, we'd still be left with original flavour Jet. But Z— _Lee_ has been looking for Appa, too. I don't trust Jet as far as I can throw him, but I trust Lee. I think we find him first, see what else he knows."

"Or, you know, we could be happy we've found our friend again," Katara scolded, but she also seemed very excited. "Rather than immediately pump him for information, we could start by saying hi."

"Really? You're just going to _say hi_ to him?" Toph said sarcastically.

Damnit, Sokka had cracked too soon. She'd only been a minute behind him on the sarcasm front!

Aang was way more focussed on finding Appa though. He agreed with Sokka's plan and broke away from the huddle. "Where's Lee now?"

Smellerbee was a little surprised at Aang's forthright and commanding tone. "He'll be at work. It's before their morning rush, so he'd probably be at the market now."

-0-

Zuko was just about to buy the pepper his uncle needed when he saw a flash of heartbreakingly familiar blue all the way over the other side of the busy market place. He shook his head, rubbed his eyes and looked again. He wasn't going crazy. The blue was a dress, and the dress was on Katara. His heart skipped a beat. He felt frozen. Time felt like it was going super slowly as he watched her walk along the stalls for a brief moment.

 _She was here!_

Then time speed up really rapidly. It felt like a lot of things happened at once. Katara was turning away from him. She was heading down a little alley, the one that connected the food market to the flower vendors. Zuko dropped everything and ran towards her, causing a bit of commotion and knocking over some baskets. He didn't give a shit. Didn't even stop to apologise or help.

 _Katara was here!_

He ducked down the alley after her and called her name. She had nearly been at the other end. She froze at the sound of his voice, her back going rigid. She didn't turn around for a second that felt like an eternity. She inhaled audibly.

Was she still mad at him? He hadn't seen her since the Northern Water Tribe and their terrible fight. She had said she never wanted to see him again.

"Katara, I know you've probably got mixed feelings about seeing me, but I just want you to know I'm so sorry and—"

She made a little sound, like a happy squeal. She turned abruptly and ran towards him, launching herself at him like she'd been fired out of a catapult. She pretty much gave him the girlfriend equivalent of a crash tackle. Zuko caught her mid-air. Her legs wrapped around his waist, and suddenly he was holding her up. Her head was above his and she was cradling his face with her hands and smiling down at him.

"Hi," she said simply, looking so bright and happy. It was like staring at the sun.

She leaned down and kissed him deeply. He opened his mouth to hers. Her tongue slid between his teeth, soft and gentle, like she was savouring tasting him again. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and one of his hands ended up tangled in her hair. When they paused for breath, Katara leaned her forehead against his tenderly. They were nose to nose.

They hadn't said anything else to each other except a fumbled apology and hi. It should have been awkward, but it wasn't.

"I don't understand. You're not mad at me?" Zuko couldn't help himself. He had to ask.

"No, I was never mad at you."

Zuko raised his good eyebrow at her. That wasn't fooling anyone. He'd been there for that fight. He knew she'd been furious at him.

"Okay, I was a little mad at you," Katara confessed. She moved back a little to look at his face properly. She cupped his scarred cheek with her palm while she brushed his hair out of his face with her other hand delicately. It had grown longer since he had last seen her. "But I missed you too much to stay mad at you." A sad, little smile. "I hated being without you."

"I missed you too."

Then, just like that, all was forgiven. It was amazing. Their fight was in the past. They were kissing again, like they'd never been apart. For once, Zuko was exactly where he needed to be.

It felt like coming home.

It was weird because Zuko hated living in Ba Sing Se. He never lived in fish laneway. But he felt warmth and comfort and familiarity and hope all at once. It felt like the first morning of summer holidays when he saw the Ember Island house and knew things were going to be okay, at least for the next little while. Having Katara with him filled him with joy and solace.

He heard a familiar cough and glanced out of the corner of his eye.

 _Of course._

He should have known this blissful moment wouldn't last.

"Err, maybe we should stop this," he said sheepishly, pulling his face away from Katara's and putting her back on the ground.

"No! Nothing is coming between us again! Not the war, or your crazy gremlin sister, or—"

"No, I mean everyone is watching us." Blushing furiously, he nodded to their audience.

Sokka was there. Aang was there. The new girl – Toph? – was there too. Also Smellerbee, Longshot and that fucking arsehole Jet were there, standing a little bit behind the others. Seeing Jet ruined the moment a little.

Toph started clapping for them. "So that's what you meant by saying _hi,_ Sugar."

"I think I speak for everyone when I say _What The Actual Fuck?_ " Jet shouted.

"Speak for yourself, jerkface, I knew all about this," Sokka declared, turning around and giving Jet a shove.

Sokka knew? Since when?

"Me too," Toph added.

"I also kinda guessed," Smellerbee chimed in with her two cents.

Longshot nodded to say that he had also known.

Aang looked at the rest of them, aghast, before turning back to Zuko and Katara. "Well, I'm still surprised!"

-0-

Notes:

My rambly notes will be quite short today, as I am a little time poor. I just wanted to take some space to thank Boogum for her fantastic beta skills. She makes everything she touches better.

I really love and appreciate everyone's feedback - so thanks everyone who reviews!

Our Drama Llamas are finally together again and I know some of you have been waiting for this for a long time, so enjoy !Also Everyone knows now! Katara, you were never that subtle. Sokka and Toph have been on to you for a long time. Next chapter everyone will go to Lake Laogai together. Duh duh duh!


	11. Lake Laogai

They hadn't seen each other in forever but they hit a rhythm, slotting back into their old habits and jokes with each other like no time had passed. It felt like it was only yesterday when Zuko was up north, squabbling with Sokka, helping Aang as best he could, and loving Katara so much.

Zuko hadn't let go of her hand since the alley. He found himself just looking down at her and smiling softly. It felt like a smile that went all the way inside him. She wasn't mad at him at all. She still wanted him to be her boyfriend. They could pick up where they left off, but without the whole _one-of-us-is-a-prisoner-of-war-and-perpetually-worried-about-execution thing,_ which was a huge plus.

Aang was a little more stilted and formal with him, which struck Zuko as strange at first. But then he remembered that Aang had lost Appa. Sokka said Aang had been pretending to be unemotional since it happened, so it made sense that he'd be a little more abrupt and distant. Zuko knew that getting Appa back would cheer the little guy up immensely. Zuko was so happy that all the bloody _work_ he had been doing had a point (for once). He hadn't been wasting his time.

Toph was a new addition. He had to figure out how friendship was going to work with her. Toph seemed like she'd be the result of what would happen if Smellerbee and Sokka had a baby, and that baby only wanted to smash things and annoy him. The first thing Toph said to him was, "So tell me, who is the better kisser: Sokka or Katara?"

Sokka spluttered at her about life-saving techniques and drowning.

"You kissed Sokka as well!" Jet yelled over the top of Sokka's spluttering from behind them. "You've kissed a brother and sister! At the same time? You big slut!"

Sadly, Jet was still with them. There was no escaping the arsehole. Zuko reacted as he normally did when the bastard spoke. There was some disgruntled wrestling and name calling, which evolved into full on fighting. Sokka tried to intervene, and the fighting devolved into inelegant struggling. Now they were just a messy pile of boys. Toph was laughing her arse off.

"Aww, Jet's just sad because even though Lee is a slut, he's still never going to fuck Jet," she said, clearly enjoying the spectacle. Then she practically curled up with mirth, like she'd just made the most hilarious joke ever.

Zuko did not find this hilarious. Neither did Jet. They stopped fighting immediately to shout at her in unison. For one brief, terrible moment, Zuko found himself in agreement with Jet.

They agreed that Toph was so rude.

Zuko didn't want to live in a world where Jet was right about anything.

They went to the zoo as one big group. The others had already figured out the Dai Li couldn't listen to them there. Zuko had never been to the zoo, because it had been restricted to Upper Ring citizens, but Aang got them all waved through for free.

"Second zoo trip in one day," Smellerbee remarked. "We are so fancy now, Longshot!"

Those two were still here as well. But they were okay. They were much less annoying than Jet at least.

Zuko pulled out the map he'd been working on from his pocket. He'd taken to carrying everything important on him, because you never knew what was going to happen in a day. He'd stolen this one from a headquarters in the 22nd District. It had most of the locations on it. Zuko laid it flat and showed everyone. You could see the whole city on this map.

"What are these lines?" Katara asked, sitting close to him, almost in his lap, but not quite.

They were keeping as much distance as Zuko could stand. It was tricky, because he didn't want to do anything else but just _be_ with Katara. Holding her hand wasn't quite enough because he just wanted _more_. But everyone else was making it so weird. Everyone was _looking_ at them all the time.

Jet would just stare at them in a way that Zuko found more than a little creepy and lecherous. Mostly because Zuko remembered what Smellerbee had said about Jet's fantasy threesomes. He was probably visualising the three of them spanking each other.

 _Gross!_

Aang would just glare at them and not say anything. He was in such a bad mood, and you could tell it was because he was so worried about Appa. The way Katara had whispered "I'm so glad I have you back" in Zuko's ear when she thought no one was watching had really seemed to rub the salt in for Aang. He probably didn't like seeing them so happy at being reunited when he still hadn't found Appa.

Sokka said things like, "Keep daylight between you two. Don't make me get my water bucket to splash you with!" in a warning tone.

Toph was acting like she had front row tickets to the most dramatic, hilarious and romantic pantomime ever. She was chewing on snacks and kept making comments about how they should _give into their urges._ Her constant comments were actually killing Zuko's urges ... and his desire to live.

Zuko looked back at the map and the lines Katara was tracing with her fingertips.

"I was trying to figure out a way up to you guys," he explained. "These are all the places where I could jump the walls and the different routes through the city. I couldn't get any higher than the 15th District, though, because it starts to get fancier there. It's less crowded. The buildings are lower and more spaced out and farther away from the dividing walls."

It had made him sad that night when he went around the perimeter of the 15th District and realised how impossible it was. He'd felt like it was the end of the world. He'd be stuck living in the same city as Katara with no way of ever finding her. He'd been trying so hard to get back to her. It had just taken a little longer than he'd expected.

He looked in her eyes, hoping she would understand what he was trying to say and how sorry he was that it had taken so long. Katara explained in a low voice about going into the Lower Rings nearly every day to look for him. She understood. She'd been searching for him too. They held each other's gaze for a long moment. Zuko had forgotten how much he'd like doing this with her. Looking at her so closely meant that he could see all the different shades of blue in her eyes.

"Now kiss!" Toph commanded before she threw popcorn at them.

"Toph! Will you stop throwing snacks and asking us to kiss in front of you!" Katara scolded, as Zuko turned away blushing furiously. "It's _weird!_ And it's making us both feel really uncomfortable!"

"Let's get back to finding Appa," Aang snapped.

He'd been a bit on edge since they'd started really planning this rescue mission. Zuko cut to the chase and pointed out all the different prison locations in the districts.

"Could Appa be up here in one of these?" Sokka asked, pointing at the part of the map that detailed the Upper Rings – the ones Zuko hadn't been able to get to.

"Possible, but unlikely. These are the rich people rings. The Dai Li don't use these locations as prisons as far as I can tell. None of the documents I've pinched mention 're-processing' happening at those places. Also, the Dai Li know about Toph's earthy-whatsy-sensey-power, and I don't think they'd keep him underground anywhere close to where you guys would have gone regularly, because she might have sensed him."

Sokka nodded and looked a little impressed.

"We hit these ones together when we were looking for Jet and Appa, and no dice," Smellerbee said, pointing at the ones they'd crossed off. "Lake Laogai is the last large facility we haven't checked. He's got to be there somewhere."

It kind of annoyed Zuko that she had taken credit for his ideas. He'd told her that the other day! Now she was acting like it was her idea.

"You were looking for me, you big slut?" Jet said, sounding surprised as he stared at Zuko.

"No! I was looking for the bison, assface!"

"We were looking for you, Jet!" Smellerbee said encouragingly. "Lee was helping us."

"No! I was just letting you two tag along because you threatened to follow me everywhere and ruin all my spying if I didn't!"

"We would have ruined your thieving too," Smellerbee reminded him with a wide, friendly smile. "Don't forget about that."

"Aw, you threatened Lee for me?" Jet said happily at Smellerbee. "You were going to stalk him for me? There's my girl."

"Can you guys _not bond_ over threatening me! And don't talk about me like I'm not here!"

"I just gotta ask," Smellerbee said to Jet, completely ignoring Zuko, "how super embarrassed are you feeling right now? Now that it's obvious Lee's not a firebender."

"I'm not going to lie. It's pretty embarrassing. I can't believe I was so obsessed with that big slut now when he can't even climb the city walls in the 15th District. Some ninja there. And his hair is stupid. It's always so messy. You can see he doesn't even give a shit about how it looks, 'cause it always looks like he just rolled out of bed. I don't think I've ever seen him brush it and I've been following him _for weeks._ I'd need someone with _some_ personal grooming standards." Jet ran a hand through his own overly-styled hair proudly.

"Once again, I am sitting right here!" Zuko protested, though Jet was kinda right. Zuko didn't give a shit about his hair. "Maybe I didn't spend two hours every morning 'artfully dishevelling' my hair because I had other priorities. Priorities like finding Appa and my friends, taking care of my uncle, and _not being a wanker."_

"You know, I kept telling you that they screen us all for firebending during processing," Smellerbee said, still ignoring Zuko. "Any firebenders caught trying to get into the city would have been crushed to death by the home guard already."

Uncle's Flower Friends had warned them about that and told them how to evade the test, but Jet didn't need to know that.

"Man, I _love_ watching a crushing," Jet stated, before looking Zuko up and down. "I can't believe I wasted all that time on you, you big whore, and you don't even have the decency to be a real firebender and give us a crushing show."

Zuko was going to kill him. Jet was the fucking worst person Zuko had ever met. He was actually worse than Azula, if that was even possible. Screw hitting him with a pineapple. Zuko was going to strangle him with his bare hands! He should do everyone's collective sanity a favour. The world would be a better place, crops would flourish, children would sing their joy.

Suddenly, Zuko felt Katara squeezing his thigh and Sokka's hand on his shoulder.

"Jet, shut the hell up about the Fire Nation, firebenders, and anything fire related!" Sokka cut in firmly. He turned to the rest of the group. "I propose a group-wide ban on Jet mentioning the word _fire_. If he says it, whoever is closest to him has permission to slap him until he stops being _the worst."_

While Jet protested, everyone else agreed wholeheartedly. The ban remained in place. Toph gave Jet a very mischievous smile, obviously wanting to be the first who got to slap him. She sidled up close to him and sat down, saying, "Hi friend" with an unnecessary amount of delighted menace. Jet swallowed and scooted away from her.

"Now, we really should get back to the plan," Sokka said, changing the subject. "We should have codenames!"

"No, Sokka," Zuko said shortly. "No. Not again."

"It's a great idea. Calling you Lee is obviously not going to work! There's too many Lees."

"But it's my ... it's my _name._ Why shouldn't we use my _name_?" Zuko said, feeling weird for insisting on this when they both knew Lee was not actually his real name.

This situation was absurd. Damnit, if Jet and Smellerbee and Longshot weren't here, they could all just call him Zuko and he wouldn't have to pretend to be someone else anymore.

"Observe." Sokka lifted his head up out of their huddle and shouted, "Oi, Lee!"

At least thirteen people nearby looked up in response.

"Sorry, just checking something!" Sokka shouted at the real Lees. He looked back at Zuko smugly.

"Point taken," Zuko muttered.

"So, I'll be Sea Eagle One," Sokka announced. "You can be Platypus Bear Two."

"What was wrong with our first codenames: Blue Penguin and Red Rabbaroo?"

"You hated Red Rabbaroo. You bitched at me for ages about how we didn't need stupid codenames."

"I still think we don't need stupid codenames!"

"To think I was trying to give you a more badass animal," Sokka lamented.

"Well, a more badass animal would be like a tigerdillo or a mooselion or a dragon or something," Zuko suggested.

"You can be a platypus bear or a rabbaroo. Take it or leave it."

"Is it weird if I want to be a rabbaroo? At least they're fast. Platypus bears are kinda slow and big and stupid."

"See, that's why I chose it for you," Sokka replied, clearing finding himself very hilarious.

"Fuck you sideways, Sokka!"

Sokka stuck his tongue out in response and seemed really pleased with himself. "So, I'm Sea Eagle one. You're now the Grumpy Bear, _Lee._ Deal with it." He shrugged.

"I'll deal with you later!"

Sokka ignored this. "Aang can be The Fancy Dancer. Katara is The Splasher. Toph can be The Smasher. Longshot is The Silent Assassin." Sokka pointed at them all in turn, then looked at Smellerbee for a quick moment. "Smellerbee is We-Really-Could-Have-Been-Friends-if-You-Hadn't-Tried-to-Flood-a-Town. And Jet is the Creepy, Fuckface Stalker."

"OI!" Jet sounded irate.

"Okay, Jet can be the Human Garbage Fire."

Jet was even more unhappy with his codename than Zuko, but Sokka refused to change it.

"See, Grumpy Bear doesn't look so bad now, does it?" Sokka said as he threw an arm over Zuko's shoulder affectionately.

"I can't believe I even missed you," Zuko grumbled.

"You know you love me."

Zuko didn't deny it, but he wasn't going to give Sokka the satisfaction of agreeing. He settled for giving him a big shove instead. "Get off me, you stupid Sea Eagle."

"You said my thing!" Sokka was delighted.

"Guys! Stop mucking around!" Aang snapped (and with some hypocrisy). The Aang who Zuko remembered had loved nothing more than mucking around. "Codenames don't matter. Appa is what matters! Let's get back to the plan!"

-o-

"Grumpy Bear, Splasher, can I talk to you guys for a sec," Sokka whispered as they were walking towards Lake Laogai in Toph's tunnel.

"I hate this. How can we get him to stop?" Zuko grumbled in her ear.

They'd been walking at the back, holding hands and trying to get away from Toph's steady stream of inappropriate suggestions. Toph was at the front, making the tunnel. Sokka had made his way to the back to join them.

"I think we just have to go with it for now," Katara whispered, but Sokka was right there and clearly heard her. "If you complain, you get given a worse codename. I told him I thought The Splasher was a stupid codename, and he told me I could be known as Mrs Bear instead."

"Mrs Bear is hilarious," Sokka said. "I'm saving that one for after you guys get married."

"Seriously, Sokka! Can you stop?" Zuko hissed. "Just be serious for once. We're under the Dai Li tunnels!"

"I am being serious," Sokka said quietly.

Katara gave him a look.

"Not about you guys getting married. We all know that's never going to happen," Sokka said dismissively, and Katara felt a huge wave of confusion and irritation.

Oi, they could get married!

Obviously not now, because they were too young and they'd only just found each other again. And they had some stuff to figure out, and Zuko hadn't asked ... and also because of the massive war between their countries. But still!

Who was Sokka to act like it was impossible!

"I need to talk to you guys seriously about the plan," Sokka said, and gestured them even closer. "Look, low-key, Jet could still be unknowingly leading us into a trap. We don't know much about his brainwashing. He was way too keen to get us to Lake Laogai after Whaletail Island was a bust. He changed his tune too quickly for my liking. He thinks we've got one plan, but I think we need to change it, keep him on his toes just in case."

"Element of surprise," Zuko said. "Makes sense."

Sokka nodded. "You got it in one, Grumpy Bear."

Zuko rolled his eyes.

"Look, I think it's a good idea if you two split off and look for Appa in the eastern section," Sokka continued. "The map had big caverns over that side too. And the plus is everyone will just assume you're shirking your duty on the Appa hunt and sneaking off to make-out, so it won't even be that hard to cover for you."

Katara and Zuko both got a bit indignant at the idea that anyone would think they were the sort of people to shirk their duty.

"Settle your kettles. I know you're not actually duty-shirkers. But it's a good cover story, and Zuko can use his bending if Creepy, Fuckface Stalker isn't around."

Zuko was very pleased at this prospect. Whether he was happier about being able to use his bending after having to hide it for so long or just not having to put up with Jet was anyone's guess.

"Give it about five minutes before you peel off and watch each other's backs. Tap your feet to the tune of The Annoying Song if you find anything. Toph will be able to tell through her tremor sense and she'll bring us to you."

Sokka moved to make his way back up to the front, but Zuko grabbed his arm quickly.

"Sokka, are you really okay with this?" he asked, gesturing vaguely between himself and Katara.

"You want to have this conversation now? Really? I thought we had to be _serious_ because we are under the Dai Li tunnels."

"I'm always serious."

"True." Sokka ran a hand through his wolf tail and took a moment. "Jeez, I dunno, you guys. All jokes aside, it's going to be really hard for you two because of the war. People might not understand and be against you two being together—"

Katara felt crushed and crestfallen.

"—but I'll never be one of them." Sokka gave them both a warm, fond look.

"You won't?" Zuko said, looking hopeful.

"Nah. I'm cool with you two together. Honestly, Katara was so miserable and difficult to live with when you weren't around, like you have _no idea._ But she's happy now. You seem happy too. It's a fucked up, crazy world, but I'm glad you guys make each other happy in it."

Katara hugged him, so glad of his simple support and totally unsure of what to say. She held her idiot big brother for a long time. Zuko loitered awkwardly at the side, and she pulled him into the hug as well so it became a big group cuddle.

"Do we have to make this an awkward group hug?' he whispered into the huddle, wriggling like a dysfunctional cat.

"Yes! Being with me means also being included in group hugs," Katara whispered back.

"Okay," Zuko said, and stopped wriggling, "I can live with that ... as long as there's not too many."

Sokka made an _aww_ noise, and then caught himself. "Bugger this. You two aren't making me go soft, talk about feelings, and have group hugs anymore!"

He strode away to the front and they split off at the next tunnel. They made their way silently through the labyrinth that was Lake Laogai prison. Katara still remembered all the things Zuko taught her up North, like how to walk silently and blend into the shadows. They made good time. When they were checking the seventh cell, they finally found Appa. The bison recognised them right away and made a very loud, excited, rumbling noise. They both ran to him and tried to pat him and soothe him.

"You gotta be quiet there, Appa, if we're going to get you out of here," Zuko whispered and stroked the bison's fur in greeting.

Katara had always wondered how much Appa understood when they spoke. He clearly understood Zuko then and the need for secrecy, because he rumbled again, but much more quietly, and tried to nuzzle him.

"I'm glad to see you too," Zuko said softly in response.

They both tapped their feet awkwardly to the tune of The Annoying Song, and it looked like they were both doing a weird little dance together. Aang was going to be so happy to see Appa again. Katara didn't want to leave him waiting any longer. Katara started looking at the chains around Appa's legs. They'd been fastened so tightly and had been chafing Appa's fur. There were big sores under the manacles. Poor Appa. She felt furious.

Zuko didn't have his swords with him because he'd come straight from the market place. He was still wearing his tea-serving uniform and everything. That was a giant shame because swords would have cut through these quickly. The manacles were too tight for her water whips. The metal was way too close to his skin. She'd need to whip it too many times to break it. She'd hit Appa with each pass. It would sting and hurt him. She didn't want to hurt him.

"Firebending would do it quickly. This is crappy steel. It will break with one blast," Zuko offered quietly as he touched the one of the manacles. He seemed hesitant to suggest it. He stood back, away from the chains, and looked thoughtful. He didn't move to do it.

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

"All animals are scared of fire," Zuko explained. "I don't want to freak him out."

"Appa knows you. He's not going to be scared of you. He'll know you're just helping to set him free."

"Okay."

Zuko aimed two blasts at the chains. The chains popped off instantly, but Appa reared back in fright from the fire blasts. The bison made the most terrible noise she'd ever heard come from him. He scrambled backwards from Zuko until the chains that were still attached to his hindlegs clinked and yanked him hard onto his side.

"I'm sorry, Appa!" Zuko cried, and Appa roared at him in distressed response.

Zuko looked wretchedly at the other chains. They still had to break more, but Appa was clearly terrified.

"Just do it as quick as you can," Katara said, touching Zuko's shoulder. "I'll distract him while you break them off."

Zuko nodded but looked just as miserable and scared as the bison. She patted Appa's face and reassured him that they were here to set him free and that everything was going to be okay. He just had to be a good, quiet boy for them.

She heard the sound of firebending. Appa reared back again and started struggling. There were another two fire blasts and the last of the manacles were broken. Because all the chains had been broken, Apppa sailed into the air. He was trying to get away from the fire and hit the roof with a thud. He landed and crawled into the corner away from Zuko.

"Appa. I had to do it. I'm sorry." Zuko tried to reach out to pat the bison again, but Appa growled and cowered from him, trying to fit his large body even tighter to his corner.

"Something is wrong," Katara said evenly.

"Everything is wrong. Appa hates me now," Zuko wailed dramatically.

"He doesn't hate you. He's just scared. But I actually meant something has happened to the others. We tapped for the others to come ages ago and they still haven't arrived."

"What do you think we should do? We can wait a little longer for them or try get Appa out and then come back to search for them."

"Let's get Appa out first, then try and find the others."

"I agree."

They both looked up at the metal grating above them that separated Appa's cell from the sky.

"Could firebending break that?" Katara asked, pointing at the ceiling.

"I think Appa's going to be really unhappy with me if I start throwing even more fire around. I don't think that's a good idea. Can you do it with waterbending?"

"I can try."

Her water whips took a bit of time, but she was able to break a large section of the ceiling grate off. They both had to duck as it fell. It landed with a clang. They both winced at the sound, expecting the Dai Li to suddenly burst in, but nothing happened. They let out an enormous sigh of relief in unison.

Katara got up and dusted herself off and walked back over to Zuko. She took his hand and surveyed their situation. It was a good thing that Appa was still curled in on himself defensively in the far corner. He was free, but he seemed completely oblivious to it. Appa was just growling softly at Zuko, keeping his eyes focused on Zuko's hands – like he was afraid more fire was going to come out.

Zuko looked at the bison forlornly before he turned to her. "I think you should fly Appa out of here and I'll check what has happened to the others."

"No, I'm not leaving you down here on your own. It's dangerous."

"You have to."

"No! I'm not going without you. We're meant to have each other's backs. You promised me no more stupid shit, _Grumpy Bear._ "

"This isn't stupid. I'm obviously not Appa's favourite person right now." Zuko pointed at the cowering bison. "He's not going to want me anywhere near him. But he'll go with you. And Appa's been hurt by the chains. Look at his legs. You can heal him, _Splasher._ I'm a fast runner and a good ninja. I can search for the others much quicker than anyone else."

Katara hated this. She hated it so much. She had only just got Zuko back. She wasn't leaving him! Not again.

"It'll take me twenty minutes to find the others and get them out – tops!" he insisted.

"Fine! Twenty minutes." She could give him that. Then she grabbed his face and kissed him soundly. "I'll take Appa out. But if you're not above ground with the others in twenty minutes, I'm coming back down here with _all the water from that lake_ and I'm slapping every Dai Li agent I find with all of it!"

"Okay." Zuko smiled at her. Then he gave her a little kiss on her forehead and whispered that he'd see her soon before he turned and ran back down the passageway.

-0-

Jet had been putting on a brave face and telling them that he would be fine. It was just a scratch. Toph knew he was lying through his teeth. Smellerbee started crying, and Longshot had told them all to go. Jet was their leader. They'd take care of him. Jet had been lying there and trying to sacrifice himself tragically and dramatically when Zuko turned up. He told Aang that he and Katara had found Appa, and it was time to get the hell out of this place.

"Just leave me here," Jet announced again. "I'll be fine."

"What's up with Jet?" Zuko asked.

"It's all my fault. He got hit with this big rock…"

Aang explained what had happened with Long Feng and the Dai Li.

"Let me see."

Zuko knelt next to Jet. He started lifting Jet's shirt up. Jet squawked indignantly and went on about how this was a perverted invasion of his privacy. He called Zuko a couple of names. Zuko ignored him and seemed to be examining something on Jet's chest, tsking like an old lady.

"Jerkface, shut the fuck up. I think I know what this is. Are you feeling really, really thirsty, like you're in the desert and you haven't had water in days thirsty?"

"Actually ... yeah. I am. How did you know that, numbnuts?"

"I think you've just got a little bit of internal bleeding. Feeling thirsty like that is a symptom. You really will be fine, you dramatic hedgehog-fucker. We just need to get you to Katara."

"You're not a doctor, asshole!" Jet argued. "You're just making shit up now! Internal bleeding? What is that? Isn't the blood supposed to be on the inside?"

Zuko ignored him. He turned to Smellerbee, who was still a bit beside herself. "I can carry him, Smellerbee. It's going to be okay. He's only a bit fatter than Sokka, and I can lift Sokka easily."

There were two very offended noises from both Sokka and Jet.

"Fuck you, Lee! I'm not getting a piggyback from you," Jet said indignantly.

"Look, it's either be carried by me or sit here and wait for the Dai Lee to finish you off!"

"Hold on, I'm thinking which would be worse."

Zuko muttered under his breath. Toph could clearly make out the words "ungrateful shithead". Then he bent down and scooped Jet up, hauling the other boy onto his shoulder with a grunt.

"Oi! Stop it! Put me down, you asshole!"

At the same time Jet ranted, Smellerbee was crying extravagantly, "Thank you so much, Lee. You don't know how much he means to me."

Zuko was strong enough to lift Jet on his own. Sokka claimed that he could have also lifted Jet. He was strong too. It would have been his next idea. Everyone knew that was a lie and made a variety of judgemental and disbelieving faces at him. Sokka protested at their unspoken doubt in his ability to lift Jet. Zuko flatly said Sokka had insufficient core muscles to lift another person.

Sokka said he had great upper body strength, though, and that counted for something. Zuko stated that you had to lift from your legs and core, and Sokka was going to do himself an injury if he tried lifting another person without the correct stance. Zuko readjusted his Jet-shaped-cargo so he was carrying the other boy in a disgruntled, belligerent piggyback.

It looked like Sokka and Zuko were about to start squabbling about which muscle groups were better for lifting things or fighting or _whatever_ right in the middle of the Dai Li tunnels. Meanwhile, a horrendously injured Jet slumped against Zuko's back, resigned to his fate, and rolled his eyes and occasionally said things like, "Giddy up, my new ostrich horse" just to annoy Zuko. Jet seemed like he had made peace with his being-carried-out-of-here-by-Zuko fate and now realised he could use his position to annoy the other boy.

Idiots!

"Follow me!" Toph said, interrupting their conversation and leading them on the quickest route to the surface.

Jet was moaning and complaining the whole way. He wailed dramatically that everything really hurt and he was dying. Surely, a quick death was better. He wasn't lying about that. Toph felt a little bad for him. Sure, the guy was a dick, but he was in so much pain.

"It's just a little internal bleeding, you big baby," Zuko scolded with absolutely zero sympathy. "I've had internal bleeding. It's not _that bad._ Stop milking it for the attention."

 _Dang,_ that was stone-cold. But Jet's reaction was hilarious!

Toph was liking Zuko more and more.

-0-

Katara had ridden Appa into battle, wielding a ridiculously large amount of lake water, after seeing where the Dai Li had tried to corner everyone. She started water slapping Dai Li agents like it was what she had been born to do. She loved fighting! She was so good at it. She'd beaten up the Dai Li, saved her friends, and made sure Appa got the satisfaction of biting Long Feng on the leg.

Aang had been so happy it was like he was going to burst out of his skin. He cried huge, joyful tears as he hugged Appa close. Just being both above ground and reunited with Aang really seemed to calm Appa down. He didn't flinch from Zuko when the firebender got on. Katara was so grateful for small things. She'd given Aang the reigns and he'd flown Appa to a more peaceful part of the lake.

So Katara was amazing at the storming in and saving the day and delivering water slaps part of the mission.

Healing, not so much.

Sure, technically she _could_ do it, but she wasn't confident about it. She'd never really had enough training with some of the techniques. Just half an hour here or there hadn't really been enough. She really should have valued her time with Yugoda more. She'd acted like being forced to learn healing was such a punishment when she was up North.

This medical emergency was really beyond her skill set. The rock had really mangled up Jet's insides. There was a lot of blood where it wasn't supposed to be. She didn't know where to start. Zuko was sitting next to her and he really thought she could do it, and that made Katara want to try at least.

"What did Yugoda do when you had it again?"

"She did compartmentalising barriers, then bridging technique, then water gauze."

At least Zuko had always been listening to Yugoda.

"Okay," Katara said, trying to sound confident. "I'll try that."

"Oh, hell no! Neither of you two are doctors. Do you even know what you're doing?" Jet said as he looked up at them both judgementally.

 _No,_ Katara thought. But Zuko seemed sure that it would work. Katara lay her healing water on Jet. Compartmentalising barriers first. She could do that. She tried to concentrate. It was kind of hard because Jet kept wriggling and complaining.

"This is it. This is how I die. The last face I see will be Lee's ugly mug making a bitchface at me. The last sound I hear will be Katara scolding me to lie still. The last..."

"Hey, we are actually trying to help you!" she snapped. "Now be still!"

Jet was mercifully silent as she kept working on him. After a very long time, he turned to Lee and said, "You really should have just left me down there to die."

"I wouldn't even leave my worst enemy down there."

"I'm not your worst enemy?" Jet said, sounding a little surprised.

"Not even close."

Jet absorbed that and was silent again for a long moment. "Still, at least if you had left me with the Dai Li, they would have killed me on purpose – not through medical incompetence. He winked at Katara, obviously trying to be flirtatious. "It would have been quicker."

Katara hesitated, her concentration broken. This was hard and Jet's constant flirty criticism _wasn't helping._

"Oi, Katara is trying her best, and she's amazing at this, and you should be grateful and shut the fuck up!" Zuko put his arm around her in a supporting fashion. "You're doing great," he added quietly.

She nodded and continued.

It took about twenty minutes to get everything back where it was roughly meant to be inside Jet.

"I'm done," she said, withdrawing her hands.

Jet's eyes widened. He ran his fingers over his torso and looked at her in astonishment. "It worked?" he said with this kind of begrudging respect as he poked his stomach gingerly.

"You're all set. It's healed. You can probably sit up now."

Jet sat up with a huge, extravagant groan. Smellerbee hugged him. Longshot too. They had a little group hug. It was kind of sweet. She'd done the right thing, even though Jet's personality was making it very hard to feel good about it.

 _Take your medical incompetence and shove it up your butt,_ she thought proudly to herself.

Jet gave her a little rueful smile over the top of Smellerbee's head and mouthed "thank you". That was probably as close as he was ever going to come to saying sorry.

They took a little time to collect themselves after that. Smellerbee needed some time to make sure Jet was okay. Aang needed some time to cuddle Appa closely. And Katara really needed some alone time with her boyfriend.

They'd been surrounded by other people and a buttload of drama since she had found him again. Katara just wanted to kiss him properly without an audience. What happened between her and Zuko was private. It was just for them – not for Toph to get some kind of weird jollies.

She took Zuko's hand and led him a bit farther away from the group, behind some rocks, and got … _reacquainted_ with him. By the time they wandered back, Jet, Smellerbee and Longshot were getting ready to leave.

"What will you guys do now?" Katara asked as she sat down.

"We can't go back to the city," Smellerbee explained. "Jet's a wanted felon. We don't want the Dai Li to get him again. We just need to find somewhere else that is safe from the bloody Fire Nation."

"The Northern Air Temple could be good," Katara offered. "It's full of refugees making a new start. It's high in the mountains, so you'd need to climb heaps."

"We're good climbers," Jet said proudly.

"I know."

"Thanks, Katara." Jet flashed her his 'charming' smile. "You want to come with us?"

Katara looked over at Zuko before turning back to Jet. "No. I'm good here, thanks."

"You know, it's an open-ended offer. When you dump this arsehole, just come and find me."

"Oi, don't flirt with my girlfriend, fuckface," Zuko said, chucking a pebble at him. His aim was sloppy, and Jet dodged it.

"Technically, she was my girlfriend first," Jet informed Zuko primly.

Zuko looked incensed and started coughing loudly in disbelief.

"She was! We shared so many moments in that treehouse, you know. You remember, don't you, baby?" Jet winked at Katara.

"I'm not your baby!" Katara retorted.

Toph and Sokka were sharing Toph's bag of snacks and watching the scene in front of them unfold with fascination, but Sokka took this moment to interject, throwing the popcorn at Jet. "That's what you get! She doesn't want you anymore!"

Toph also threw some popcorn at Jet and started booing him enthusiastically.

"Stop that!" Jet told them, then turned to Zuko, who was still coughing. "And will you stop that, Lee! Stop doing that 'disbelieving cough.' I get it already! You think I'm full of shit. Just shut up!"

"Hey! Don't you dare tell him to shut up!" Katara said, feeling protective over Zuko. "He just carried your arse out of a Dai Li prison and saved your life!"

"Yeah, but that coughing noise puts me on edge. It reminds me of the Dai Li prison and..." Jet trailed off here. His eyes widened and he declared suddenly, "Oh no. I really am an arsehole!"

"You're only just figuring that out now?" Sokka said cheekily, reaching for more popcorn.

"Lee, have you ever been to Omashu or put a pentapus on your face?" Jet asked, turning to Zuko.

"We have!" Aang said cheerfully, strolling over from a good, long, soothing Appa cuddle and sitting down with them for the first time.

"Hey, same!" Smellerbee said, pointing at her and Longshot. "They felt so tickly, but they're so cute!"

Everyone gave her a weird look. She wasn't a warm and cuddly person. She had never described anything as cute as far as Katara could tell.

"What?" she huffed. "So I like Pentapi! It's no big deal."

Zuko suppressed his coughing and gave everyone in the group a very judgemental face. "You're all nuts. Why would I put a pentapus on my face?"

"Well, they did recommend it to all refugees coming into the city, if you actually read the instructions book they gave us," Smellerbee said primly.

"Why?" Toph asked.

"Cause it prevents Omashu fever. Refugees from Omashu brought it with them as a little present for the rest of us. From Omashu with love, eh? They weren't getting sick, but it floored everyone else. It's an epidemic in District 30 and it's just, like, flattened that whole place. The officials were super worried about it spreading. So now they give every refugee instructions to go do it and a coupon for a free pentapus session when they enter."

"Oh no, not written instructions!" Sokka teased Zuko, and gave him a poke in the shoulder. "Lee's one true weakness!"

Zuko flipped him the bird.

"It's not my fault you never read instructions!" Sokka protested.

"The Dai Li had some prisoners with the Omashu fever when I got taken down," Jet said. "It spread though prison so fast. They just let it. It weeded out the weak, that's for sure. But apparently putting a pentapus on your face gives you immunity. When I was in prison, I was surrounded by sick people and Dai Li agents with pentapuses on their faces to protect them from the disease..." He shuddered here.

"Pentapi," Smellerbee corrected. "That's the plural."

"Whatever. The _pentapi_ face masks definitely added a nightmarish, surreal quality to the Dai Li prison experience."

Jet seemed lost in some bleak memory for a moment. He stared silently at nothing until Smellerbee put her hand on his shoulder in a way that was oddly gentle for such a gruff girl. Jet seemed to snap out of it and looked at Zuko again.

"Anyway, I may still be, like, a little bit contagious..." Jet confessed. "And I think you've got it now, Lee. You've just carried me for ages. You've got no immunity. It comes on sudden, like one moment your completely fine, and the next you'll be flat on your arse. The first symptom is that coughing just like you're doing now, so ... yeah. I think that's what's happening." Jet sounded almost apologetic.

"You've made me sick? You literally make me sick! You are the worst person I have ever met in my entire life!" Zuko yelled before another coughing fit came over him.

Katara's heart sank. She just wanted to have some proper, quality, alone time with him. Not stolen moments down alleyways and behind rocks. She had been hoping that tonight, when they got back to the city, they could ... maybe ... go on a date. That was well off the cards now. Jet had infected her Zuko, even after Zuko had done a kind and good thing for that jerk, because that was just the sort of luck Zuko had.

It wasn't fair.

Katara started rubbing his back, alarmed at how much thinner he was. She could feel his whole chest heaving when he coughed, and she could feel his bones through his shirt from months of not eating well. Well, Katara was going to make sure he ate right from now on! She was going to soothe his aches and cool his fever. She was going to take such good care of him. She brushed his hair off his forehead tenderly and planted a little kiss there, alarmed at how hot he felt already.

"Careful, Katara," Jet warned. "I wouldn't touch him now. I'm not joking. It is really contagious."

"I'll risk it," Katara said darkly, glaring at Jet. "What happens now?"

"I don't know. I'm not pretending to be a doctor." Jet shrugged. "He'll get dizzy as fuck and have the worst fever for like ... ages. But if he hasn't passed out by now, maybe it won't be as bad for him?" he supplied quickly with false optimism.

"I'm going to pass out?" Zuko looked up, sounding horrified.

"Well you haven't yet," Jet responded, "so quit complaining. Don't be such _a big baby._ It's no big deal. Don't go _milking it for sympathy._ "

"I hate you. I hate you so much." Zuko put his head between his knees. "And here's the dizziness."

"Damn, I feel kinda bad." Jet actually sounded sincere.

"I can guarantee you, I feel worse right now," Zuko said, keeping his head between his knees.

"Do you want a prize again?" Smellerbee offered kindly.

"No!" Zuko harrumphed. "Keep your air."

"Fuck it, Lee. I actually do feel bad!" Jet insisted.

Zuko didn't look up but made an incredibly rude series of hand gestures in Jet's general direction.

"So rude!" Jet said, sounding put out. "Can you not be a massive dick and listen? I actually got something to say to you!"

"No, don't say anything else to me!" Zuko made a shooing motion with his hand. "Just go to the Northern Air Temple already. Leave me alone."

"No, I really need to say this to you. I feel _really bad._ "

"So do I, so _thanks_ for sharing your gross germs with me."

"Look, I really am sorry for making you sick ... and stalking you ... and trying to get you arrested by the Dai Li ... and hitting you with sausages ... and stealing your spark rocks ... and attacking your uncle. I'm, like, really sorry. For real."

"If I accept your apology, will you go away?" Zuko sighed in a long-suffering fashion.

"Yes."

"Fine. Apology accepted."

Jet stood there, adjusting his weight from one foot to the other.

Zuko looked up blearily. "You're still here." he observed, unimpressed.

"I just wanted to say Omashupox is fucking brutal, you know, and I hope you feel better soon." Jet seemed a bit embarrassed. His cheeks were bright red. "And I'm glad was wrong about you, Lee. I can't believe I ever thought you were a firebender. We all know they never get sick, cause they're not even human. They're just garbage fires and fits of rage pretending to be people..."

"Will you just _fuck off_ already?" Zuko yelled, while Toph and Smellerbee both tried to slap Jet at once for mentioning firebenders.

Jet protested. They reminded him that those were the rules of the no-fire talk ban. Toph wanted to keep slapping him for what Jet considered an unreasonable amount of time, but none of the group made a move to stop her.

Jet seemed to take the eighteenth slap as his queue to leave. He quickly turned around and said, "Well, I'm outta here. Bye, everyone."

Katara wasn't sorry to see him leave. Naturally, Jet made her considerable anger towards him worse. He looked at her, winking and saying, "Bye Katara" in a smarmy tone of voice. She glared coldly with all the ice from the frozen poles behind her eyes. She looked at him like she was stabbing him in her mind. Jet seemed chastised. He blushed, turned abruptly, and walked off rather quickly.

"We should probably go too," Smellerbee announced, getting up with Longshot.

Longshot nodded his farewell at them. Smellerbee gave them all a quick hug, except for Zuko.

"Sorry, Lee. I would hug you too, but you're really sick right now. Like, you're all sweaty and starting to look kinda gross."

"Just go!" Zuko huffed.

Smellerbee came over and gingerly tapped him on the shoulder. She couldn't bring herself to hug him, but she gave his shoulder a couple of pokes. "But … ah … thanks for everything, Lee. Getting us jobs, teaching us to ninja, putting up with Jet. You did us a solid, and I won't forget it."

They watched the three figures slowly walk off towards the horizon.

"Off they go to cause more havoc, explode more dams and flood more towns," Sokka said, once they were a fair distance away.

"There's no dams near the Northern Air Temple," Aang reminded him.

"Well, I'm sure they'll find something to explode."

"Do you think they'll ever figure out that Zuko's really a firebender?" Toph asked, sounding excited at the prospect.

"Agni, I hope not," Zuko groaned, head still between his knees.

"But it would be so hilarious! Can you imagine: if Jet finds out you're a firebender now, his brain is just going to boil in his head and explode out his eyeballs."

Zuko lifted his head and seemed to be thinking. He started trying to stand unsteadily.

"Where are you going?" Katara asked, getting up too and holding his elbow.

"I'm going to tell Jet I'm a firebender so I can watch his brain boil and explode," Zuko said flatly. He took a step and stumbled a little.

"Yeah, that's a _no_ to that plan right there, buddy." Sokka grinned as he put his popcorn aside and stood up. He went to go stand next to Zuko, who was swaying on his feet now.

"Shit. I really don't feel right."

Zuko turned to Sokka just a fraction of a second before his eyes rolled back in his head, his knees buckled, and he passed out cold. He would have fallen in a heap if Sokka hadn't reached out and caught him quickly.

"He really does have the worst luck," Sokka observed. "It's not even funny at this stage."

"I dunno. It's kinda funny to me."

"Toph!"

-0-

Notes:

Enormous thanks to Boogum for her fantastic beta-skills. She's a gem and she makes everything I write better.

Thanks to everyone who leaves feedback, comments and reviews. I love reading these! They make my day.

This chapter was quite long, so I'll only write short notes today. Jet is negging Katara (a flirting technique where part A will put party B down in a way that is meant to be flirty.) I think negging would just plain annoy Katara. Zuko is the "you're doing amazing, sweetie," gif level of supportive.

Omashu Fever. Well, Zuko had to get some weird illness, and this is what I came up with. I mentioned in previous chapters that over-crowding in the lower ring was leading to an epidemic. Let's say there was an illness that could be helped by putting a pentapus on your face - Well, all the refugees from Omashu, and the Gaang would be immune. But it would spread quickly through a refugee population. The authorities would try to increase the immunity of newly arrived refugees by giving them the only known treatment - pentapus face! But poor Zuko never did well with instructions.

So there have been many metas about Zuko going through a kundalini in his sickness. I do not know enough about Kundalini journeys. It's all, to quote Toph, "blah-blah-blah, spiritual mumbo-jumbo, something about space," to me. So I didn't go that route. In Kimberly T's phenomenal "Promises to Keep", Zuko is more susceptible to Earth Kingdom illness. Being from the Fire Nation means he had very little natural immunity to some local diseases. He contracts one while living in the cramped conditions of the lower ring. I feel this idea makes more sense, so I rejigged it to work in this scenario. So full credit to her for the idea.

Jet and Smellerbee and Longshot live! You know, the Northern Air Temple might help Jet develop some skills he didn't even know he had. Jet thinks firebenders are inhuman, and can't visualise them getting sick - which is why Zuko getting sick has such a big effect on him. Jet is now completely sure "Lee" never was a firebender. Jet thinks Zuko is just who is he was pretending to be - a random, sexy ninja dude who just wanted to make tea with his Uncle… But if I ever get around to writing Airbender Jet and book 4, there will be an explosion of drama when the boys meet again.

Next Chapter - Zuko's going to be sick, Katara's going to be worried, Aang's going to be jealous, and Toph is going to dispense advice. Til then, my lovelies.


	12. The Earth King

The last thing Iroh had heard as his nephew had headed out the door that morning was that Zuko would be back soon. They clearly had very different definitions of "soon".

Zuko hadn't come back by their afternoon rush. Iroh told himself to be patient. Then Zuko hadn't returned by dinner, and was still absent when the street lamps were lit and night set in. Iroh was now officially worried. He wasn't going to say he was panicked, not yet.

He had gone to the market. Then he'd gone to the usual places Zuko would go for solitude. He'd even followed a few Dai Li agents just to see if he would spot his nephew getting up to that bad habit of his. But Iroh hadn't found a single trace of him.

Iroh had thought they were _past_ this. This wasn't like his nephew, not anymore. Zuko hadn't run off since the flatlands. He always told his uncle where he was going and what time he expected to be back. He'd been doing it since Lu Ten's birthday.

They hadn't really spoken about Lu Ten that day, but Zuko had worked a double so that Iroh could have the whole day off. When Iroh had come home, dinner had been made, tea brewed and their beds set up. When Zuko was heading out the door, he'd hesitated in front of him.

"I'm just…heading out. I'll be back in two hours. Don't worry." Then he'd reached down and squeezed Iroh's shoulder a little awkwardly. "Do you need anything else? I can get it for you on my way back."

Iroh knew his nephew was _trying._ Zuko wasn't always comfortable with showing physical affection, but he tried that night to offer Iroh what comfort he could. It was such a little gesture, but it had warmed his heart.

In any case, Zuko always told Iroh where he was going now. Even if it was just to say, "I'm getting up to my bad habit. Don't try and stop me. I'll be back in a few hours." Zuko didn't want Iroh to worry if it could be avoided. Iroh still worried of course. He would always worry, but at least he always knew what his nephew was doing.

 _The bad habit_ had been their euphemism for Zuko's various forays into masked vigilantism. Iroh had been unable to convince him to stop. So instead he had done the next best thing. He wasn't sure if Zuko knew, but Iroh had followed him when Zuko got up to his bad habit, just in case. He probably knew as much about the Dai Li movements as his nephew now.

Iroh set off into the night to see if he could find out any more information about his nephew's whereabouts. He resolved to sneak into the nearest Dai Li station to see what they knew.

Goodness gracious, _bad habits_ really did run in families.

-0-

Aang's insides were feeling funny as he watched Katara hold the cold compress to Zuko's head. She leaned over him and put some ice on his neck, and he made a contented little noise. She smiled down at him and brushed his hair out of his face again because it kept getting stuck to his skin from sweat. Her fingers were lingering and playing with his hair a little.

She kept doing things like that and it was _really bothering_ Aang. He curled his lip, feeling a little nauseated. Something was up with his stomach at least.

"I'm going to check on Appa!" he said, and walked quickly out of their house and into the fresh night air.

He hugged Appa as close as he could, burying his face in Appa's fur and breathing in his Appa smell, and trying to take comfort in his oldest friend. He snuggled into Appa's side and lay back, looking at the stars, and tried to figure out why he was so mad.

His day had gone really well, aside from Zuko. He had Appa back. The Earth King was going to help him beat the Fire Nation. He should be the happiest he'd ever been in his whole life. But his guts were churning and he was angry. He didn't like feeling this way.

He thought it might be Zuko's fault. Maybe Zuko had passed on a different strain of his sickness. Aang hoped he was getting sick. Katara would come and worry and fuss about _him_ then.

Aang would be a good patient. He wouldn't make half as much of a commotion as Toph did when Katara chased her around the house with a pentapus, trying to put it on her face and yelling that it was for her own good.

Katara had taken Aang with her to the apothecary. The man knew about Omashu fever, and gave her some herbs and even more advice. He said the pentapus was no good after the fever had set in. It was only good for prevention. It was too late to pentapus Zuko, but Katara had bought it for Toph.

Aang had walked back with Katara, and she'd kept asking him if he was okay and looking at him weirdly. After the twelfth time this had happened, he'd ended up grumbling at her that he felt fine. But maybe Zuko had made him sick. His stomach definitely didn't feel right.

Still, being sick didn't explain everything. Getting sick didn't make Aang angry. The monks said sickness was just part of life and your body's way of telling you something. He started turning over the events of the last two days, trying to figure out where the anger was coming from.

It had really started when Zuko had got sick. They'd had to haul him onto Appa. Zuko was much skinnier than he'd been at the North Pole. Sokka could pick him up and carry him now. Sokka was unreasonably excited about this.

"Just wait till I tell him," Sokka had said eagerly as he readjusted Zuko's weight and gave the other boy a playful shake. "Who's got insufficient core muscles to lift another person now, eh?"

Sokka's excitement aside, they'd had no idea where Zuko lived. Aang hadn't known how they were going to get him back home.

"Don't be silly, Aang," Katara had said dismissively. " _We're keeping him._ He's coming home with us."

"So, we're pretty much just casually kidnapping this guy again, aren't we?" Toph had teased.

Sokka had got grumpy with her, saying they weren't kidnapping anybody. Zuko was just an unconscious passenger who hadn't agreed to come along, but he was definitely going to want to come along when he woke up.

Toph had pointed out that it sounded exactly like what had happened last time.

Sokka had a big grumble about how Toph was acting like he kidnapped people on a weekly basis and had some kind of _problem_ with it, but he had only ever accidentally kidnapped two people and that was totally different.

Aang hadn't been mad watching them argue. But he felt angry again when Katara refused to come with them to see the Earth King.

"You don't need four people to tell the Earth King the truth," she had said. "This is Sokka's idea and his plan, and he's better at this stuff. I'm staying to look after Zuko." Then she'd just looked down at Zuko's face with a very soppy expression. His head was cradled in her lap and she was moving his hair out of his face again.

Aang remembered the sudden urge to just cut Zuko's hair so it wasn't always in his face for her to keep moving around. Jet was right! It was so messy. It didn't look like Zuko cared about it or brushed it. Aang would be doing him a favour.

Aang had tried to insist she come. They needed her. What if something happened?

"Zuko needs me too. He's really sick. I don't want him to wake up all alone and not know what's going on and _disappear_ on us again." Her voice had sounded funny. Then she'd looked at Aang reassuringly and laid her hand on his shoulder. "Nothing bad is going to happen. You have Appa back. You can just fly in and fly out. You'll be fine talking to the Earth King without me."

Something bad had happened. They'd had to fight off the Earth King's guards without Katara. But it was all just a misunderstanding. Aang and Toph had made a good team, and they had sorted out fighting through the guards quickly. It would have been even faster with Katara there to help them out, but they hadn't actually needed her. Aang couldn't say she was letting them down by choosing to stay with Zuko.

They'd been able to talk to the Earth King and convince him about the war. Sokka had been in his element, proving the Dai Li were evil (in general), and Long Feng was evil (in particular). He convinced the king the war was really happening. They had stayed up there with the Earth King after showing him a few different parts of the city on Appa. The Earth King had never been on the trains. He'd never even left the palace. He'd wanted to explore the city properly, and they'd made plans to help him the next day.

Aang had felt upset again that night when he got home and found out that Zuko was lying in _his_ bed, shirtless. Katara had pointed out that Aang normally slept on Appa, and now they had Appa back, and she knew he would want to spend time with the bison. They didn't have a spare bed now that Toph had destroyed that room and blown a hole out the side of the walls, and she didn't think Aang would mind. This was all true. But it also wasn't the point.

"Why'd you have to take his shirt off? What does that accomplish?" Aang had said in a stilted voice, feeling like there was an angry pentapus in his guts.

"His fever is really bad. It's not responding to my water healing. I was just taking off layers to help him cool down. It's just because he's _so hot_."

"Tell us what you really think, Katara!" Toph had teased gleefully from her spot relaxing on the big cushions.

Katara had gotten upset with Toph but hadn't denied it. Aang had felt strangely angry with her, and he never felt upset at Katara. Except for their argument about the Lost Zephyrs. But Katara had apologised so much and had agreed the Air Nomads were right, and Aang had completely forgiven her.

"I found this in his pockets," Katara had said, and pointed to a pile of assorted objects on the table.

There was a bag of chillies, a notepad, two other maps, some nuts, some money, two knives, seven mismatched Pai Sho pieces and, rather inexplicably, at least eighteen bison whistles. Aang had no idea which object she was pointing to until she went over and picked up the notepad.

"It's a waiter's notepad," she'd explained. "I think this address up the top is where he works. That means his uncle works there too. We need to tell his uncle that Zuko is here. Zuko wouldn't want him to worry."

It had seemed reasonable. If they knew where Zuko lived, they could take him back there so he'd be okay. His uncle would take care of him. He wouldn't be shirtless and in Aang's bed anymore. His uncle would know where Zuko lived. Actually, Zuko probably lived with his uncle.

Katara wanted to stay with Zuko again the next morning, even though watching Zuko sleep had to be so boring. He really wasn't doing much but lying there and being feverish. Sometimes he mumbled and grumbled in his sleep, saying strange things like, "Bugger off, you blue dragon. You're such a liar!" or "Bloody flowers again! Why is it always flowers!"

Frequently he murmured, "Yes, Uncle," with what sounded like fond exasperation.

Once he muttered, "Our special today is ginseng with lemon," non-stop for eighteen minutes.

This morning, Zuko started to list coastal places like he was in the middle of the world's weirdest and most marine-based geography test. "That looks like the Great Barrier Island Reef. That's Taku Beach in the Earth Kingdom. That looks like the Glass Cliffs of Glass Island. That looks like the Ice Cliffs near the Northern Water Tribe. That's just regular ocean. More ocean. More ocean, even more ocean, stormy ocean, flat ocean, ocean with whales, ocean with weird sea snake thing..."

"What is even going on in that head of yours?" Katara said fondly, brushing his hair off his forehead _again._

"This is just a wild guess, but I think it's the ocean," Toph supplied cheekily.

"Maybe he's dreaming about all the time he spent on that boat," Sokka suggested. "It sounds much better than those crazy nightmares he used to have at least."

"Ocean with squidsharks," Zuko continued to mutter. "Ocean with icebergs, ocean in the rain, normal ocean. Ooh, beach with bio-luminescent plankton – that's pretty..."

"Much better," Katara agreed, looking up at Sokka.

They took the Earth King out for the day and showed him the city sights on the train and Appa. Then Sokka did his Sokka-ing about strategy. After that, they went to Zuko's teashop for a 'tea break' with the Earth King and his guards in the middle of the day. Luckily, the teashop was actually getting famous, so it was easy to convince the king. Sokka said something about how it would be good for the king to meet some normal people.

The shop was crowded. They didn't see Zuko's uncle. The guy who owned the place said, after Sokka had described who they were looking for, that he hadn't shown up for work today.

Aang had a quick whispered conversation with Sokka and Toph. He thought they could ask the tea-man for the uncle's address and go there now. Sokka didn't like that. He said they had 'an audience' and nodded towards the King and his guards.

"We should get tea and leave a note for him," Sokka said, "but it has to be subtle."

"Subtle" for Sokka meant fancy codenames or a message in code. Either way, code should be involved.

Sokka had gone on to point out that Grumpy Bear's uncle had tried to take over the city ages ago, so he was also probably using a fake name and didn't want to draw attention to himself. The Dai Li were still around and you never could be too careful.

In the end, they'd torn off a sheet from the notepad and Sokka had tried to disguise his handwriting as he wrote:

 _We have your Lee, okay._

When they got back home, Aang went to check on Zuko and Katara. He hovered awkwardly in the doorway. Zuko wasn't dreaming about the ocean any more. He was tossing restlessly and moaning, "No, Dad, please don't. I meant no disrespect." He did this over and over and over again.

Katara was really upset. She was trying to wake him, but nothing was working. She started shaking him roughly by the shoulders, but this made it worse. Zuko struggled and thrashed about in his sleep, muttering, "No, leave me alone. Get off me! I didn't do anything wrong. Don't hurt me! It's not _my fault._ That's not how volcanoes fucking work, you morons!"

Katara stopped shaking him instantly and looked up at the ceiling, blinking really fast. Looking after Zuko was nearly making her cry. Aang felt angry about that. Maybe it was because he didn't like seeing Katara cry. Still, she stopped blinking quickly and pulled herself together. Then she changed her approach entirely.

She didn't try to wake Zuko up anymore. She reached out to lay her hand against his cheek so it was more of a caress. She leaned in real close to him and said softly in his ear, "It's me. It's Katara. You're safe now. I'm here."

Zuko seemed to hear her, even though he was still asleep, because he relaxed straight away under her touch. Katara started rubbing his forehead with a cold compress and kept whispering things in his ear, but Aang couldn't make out any more of her words.

He curled his lip in disgust and once more went outside to lie on Appa and pour out his tale of woe to the bison. Appa was his best buddy. He was a good listener.

"Oh, Appa. What should I do? I just don't know why I'm feeling this angry. I want to stop being angry."

"Well, you could stop watching Sugar and Spice like a jealous creeper. That would be a good start."

Toph's sardonic voice came from the other side of Appa. Aang felt a big rush of embarrassment.

"How long have you been there, Toph?" he asked cautiously.

"Don't worry. Only the whole time."

Monkeyfeathers!

She walked over and sat next to him, and they leaned against Appa's flank together. Toph patted Appa absently, saying, "Hey, Big Guy, thanks for not ratting me out while this one jealously ranted about his jealousy."

Appa rumbled happily at her in response.

"I'm not jealous!" Aang protested.

He was an Air Nomad. Air Nomads never got jealous. The monks said it was the worst emotion. Well, it was way worse than anger but not as bad as hate at least.

"You are though," Toph said bluntly. "You clearly hate them together."

"I don't hate them!"

Aang loved Katara. He loved Zuko. He'd never hate them. He wouldn't do that. He wasn't that type of person. But he was a little angry at them when he'd seen them kissing in the alley and realised that everyone else had known they were dating except for him. Had they told everyone else and then laughed together about deceiving him?

Aang felt left out. He just didn't like that they had lied to him. That was it. They had clearly lied. They had obviously been kissing each other for ages, and they had never said anything.

That was a lie, wasn't it? It certainly wasn't honest.

"You really wanted Katara to be your girlfriend, didn't you?" Toph said, when Aang hadn't said anything else for a long time. "And now her actual boyfriend is here, and that's gotta suck for you. You're all pissed off because you wanted Katara for yourself, but you're not what she wants."

"Well, what does she want?" Aang demanded.

"At the moment, I'd say she clearly wants to sloppily caress Zuko, all lovesick and worried, like she's starring in a romantic play about melodramatic idiots."

"I just don't understand why she doesn't want me. I'm the Avatar." Aang hung his head sadly.

Getting the girl you wanted was the only _good_ thing about being the Avatar. Those criminals in jail had promised him that if he told Katara what he felt, she would be his forever girl, because no girl would say no to the Avatar. But it hadn't worked out that way.

"She was always going on about how much this Zuko guy helped her," Toph said with a shrug. "Maybe you didn't do enough shit for her, like chores and washing dishes. Katara obviously digs a guy who helps."

That was it! Aang just had to be more helpful, then Katara would be his forever girl.

Toph placed her hand on his shoulder, surprisingly gently for her. She normally punched him in the arm. "I know you're bummed you don't get to kiss Katara, but aren't they both your friends?"

Aang nodded.

"Then try being happy for them."

He didn't say anything and hugged his knees closer to his chest. Suddenly, he felt Toph put her arm around him.

"Tell ya what, if you can't be happy for them right now, you can join me in getting some popcorn and making rude comments so they get all flustered and indignant. We can make them _really embarrassed_ about being so ridiculously, disgustingly soppy and dramatic together. It'll be fun."

"Thanks, Toph," Aang said and leaned into her arm.

"Don't get used to this, okay? This hug is a one-time only deal, just 'cause you're mega sad and pathetic right now," she said gruffly, which kind of ruined the moment.

-0-

"Hey, Katara, can I help you?" Aang said brightly, coming over to her.

She looked up and smiled at him. "No, Aang, but thanks for the offer."

She yawned enormously. She'd been trying to keep Zuko's fever down since yesterday afternoon. She hadn't slept much. Aang pointed this out.

"I'm okay. I want to be here when he wakes up. Besides, someone needs to keep him cool. His fever's still really high. I think. It's hard to tell. He's always been hot." Katara blushed. "Don't tell Toph I said that. She'd have a field day."

"I'm a waterbender too. I could keep splashing him while you get some sleep," Aang offered, because Katara liked helpful guys. He was going to be so helpful.

Katara looked uncertain.

"You need your sleep too, Katara. Let me help you. I can help. I want to help."

"Will you come get me right away if he wakes up?" she asked uncertainly. "I don't want to miss it."

"Of course," Aang said, feeling the lie squirm in his guts.

"Thank you, Aang. You're such a sweetie." She gave him a little kiss on his cheek and showed him what he could do with his bending to help. Then she thanked him again as she gave him a big hug.

Being helpful was working already!

Being helpful was kind of boring though. It got even more boring when everyone else went to sleep. Aang didn't have anything to do but just sit with a boring, unconscious Zuko. He ended up reading one of the boring scrolls on the shelf by candlelight. It was a scroll on the cultural history of Ba Sing Se – that's how bored he was. The hours ticked by so slowly. At least Aang hoped it had been hours. It felt like hours.

Zuko suddenly gave a gasp and sat up, eyes open.

"Hey, you're awake!" Aang said happily.

Finally, someone to talk to!

"Aang?" Zuko turned to him, blinking blearily.

"Yeah, it's me."

"Where am I?"

"Our home."

"Okay." Zuko seemed satisfied with this and lay back down. He closed his eyes.

"Don't go back to sleep!" Aang prodded him in the shoulder.

"Aang?" Zuko looked up at him, really confused.

"Yeah. It's still me."

"Where am I?"

Aang wondered if they were going to repeat the conversation they'd just had. They did.

"Aang wanted me to be your people. I'm people," Zuko said, apropos of nothing after Aang told him he was in their home again.

"You are people," Aang agreed magnanimously.

"You are people too."

He said this like he thought he was giving Aang a massive compliment.

Aang smiled a little. "Thanks, Zuko."

"Glad you okay. Not going to let the monsters eat you. Fuck that blue dragon. I'll kick its arse."

Zuko was really out of it. At first it seemed like he was in the slightly more awake version of repeatedly muttering the daily specials, but now he was just blathering nonsense. The thing about the blue dragon didn't make much sense, but it seemed to mean something important to Zuko.

"Thanks. I appreciate that," Aang said, humouring him.

"I'm going to get Appa back for you. I promise. I'm stealing every bison whistle I find from the Dai Li so they can't have him either."

"We already found Appa. He's safe."

"Good." Zuko got all relaxed and closed his eyes again. "That's good." He snuffled, settling back down to sleep.

"Listen, can I ask you something about Katara?"

"I love Katara."

Zuko's eyes were closed and he smiled to himself as he said this. Aang glanced around quickly. He felt a little paranoid that Katara was still awake and had heard, but the house was otherwise silent. Zuko was more than half asleep and clearly delirious, so he didn't mean it and _it didn't count_ – or so Aang told himself. Zuko didn't know what he was saying. He was talking nonsense a moment ago. But Aang still felt a panic. Aang wanted to push the words back into Zuko's mouth and pretend that he hadn't heard them.

"I know you love her, but I love her more," Aang said. "And you know, I think she should be mine. I'll be better at helping her now, and...Zuko, are you asleep?" He poked him in the shoulder.

Zuko just made a mmhhhmm sound and rolled over.

Aang looked around the room and his eyes fell on the pile of stuff Katara had taken out of Zuko's pockets. Smellerbee had teased Zuko about being a thief, and she hadn't been wrong. He'd stolen lots of stuff. He clearly hada problem with it _. That's why he was trying to steal Katara from me!_ Aang thought indignantly for one mean-spirited second.

He pushed the thought away, because his eyes fell on the collection of bison whistles and the Dai Li maps, painstakingly detailed and marked. It would have been hard, dangerous and scary work breaking into Dai Li buildings every night, but it looked like that was exactly what Zuko had done. He'd done nothing but try to get Appa back. And Aang still remembered sitting in an ice cell with Zuko, feeling the cold in the unfamiliar place.

" _You're one of my people, and I only have three people. I'm sure I can keep us all safe."_

" _I know what it's like to feel lonely. I guess I'm trying to say thanks for sticking with me. I'm glad you're here too."_

Zuko was his people. His friend. And Aang wasn't being fair to him at all. Katara was his people too. Toph said they made each other happy. Aang should be glad for them. Aang wanted to be happy that his friends were happy…but he still felt sore in his heart at the thought of them together. He didn't want Zuko to take Katara away from him. He didn't want to take her away from Zuko either, because Zuko also knew what it felt like to be so lonely.

"Listen, Zuko, you are my friend…but Katara's my forever girl, you understand?"

Zuko was asleep again.

If Aang kept being helpful and told Katara how he felt, like those guys in prison had said he should, then she'd surely want to be with him! Aang knew he wanted that – for Katara to be his. But he wasn't sure if it was the right thing, because it would make his other friend sad.

Still, only one of them could have her.

He looked around the room and thought about what he should do, and his eyes fell on the Pai Sho tiles. He picked up a random one – it was from one of those sets that could be used to play multiple games. One side of the tile was red and one was white. Perfect.

"Hey, Zuko? I have an idea. How about we let the spirits choose which of us gets her? That's fair, right? We can flip for her."

Zuko didn't respond.

"Red side, she's yours. But white side, she's mine. Okay?"

He flipped the tile. He looked down at it and frowned.

"How about best out of three?"

-0-

Iroh opened up the paper and looked at the note in his hand, completely at a loss.

 _We have your Lee, okay._

What did this mean?

There were no demands, no details, no threats, no requests for future correspondence, no location to meet. Just the information that somebody, somewhere, had his nephew. It was cryptic in its simplicity. It was annoying and frustrating in its simplicity.

What was Iroh meant to do with this note?

Who would send a note like this?

The _okay_ at the end was especially baffling. Like the author was trying to imply impatience. As if they were saying, " _Okay, okay, we have him already. Stop asking."_ Either that or it implied exasperation with Zuko, as if to say " _Finally, we got him, but it is such a pain in the neck dealing with him."_

"Who gave this to you Pao?" he asked, trying to keep his voice even.

"It was handed to me by a young man."

"What sort of young man? What did he look like?"

"I was too busy to take any notice of your penpals, Mushi. We were much too busy yesterday."

Pao had been snippy with Iroh all morning about missing work yesterday.

Iroh had taken the day to look for Zuko, but he had found nothing. His trail dead-ended at the market. Zuko had a rather recognisable face, on account of his scar, and that had made tracking him easy in the past. The last person to see him was the spice vendor near the alleyway in the flower market.

"Saw him yesterday, Mushi," the vendor had said. "He saw something that spooked him, I reckon. Then he ran away. He knocked over my pepper and everything, and he didn't even stop to say sorry or help clean it up. He took off that direction like his hair was on fire."

Iroh's stomach had lurched in dread. Zuko had been running from something? Iroh had assumed they were safe here – what a foolish thing to assume!

Zuko had vanished without a trace, just like his mother had years previously. Iroh was at a complete loss. He'd had half a mind to quit his position and devote all his time to looking for his nephew. But his only contact with an agent in the city was through this teashop. Iroh was supposed to meet him in the afternoon, where he'd planned to once again reach out to the White Lotus to see if anyone knew what had become of Zuko.

But then Pao had given him this note upon his arrival at work.

"You chose a terrible day to miss work, Mushi. We served the Earth King's guards and the Avatar and his friends yesterday, I'll have you know…"

The man was droning on, but Iroh's ears pricked up.

The Avatar and his friends?

Suddenly his nephew's whereabouts and the implied exasperation of the note made a lot more sense.

-0-

Zuko groaned, squinted one eye open, and tried to take in his surroundings and figure out where he was. He was lying on his side. He was on a ridiculously soft bed, so different from the pallet in his apartment with Uncle. The room was fancy. There was someone sitting on the bed, behind him, holding ice to his neck. It felt nice. He rolled over and saw Katara, ice-glove in hand. Her face lit up into the hugest smile.

"Hi," she said, sounding breathless and excited.

"Hi," Zuko echoed, still a bit dazed and confused. "Where am I?"

"Our house." She scooted closer to him. "You got really sick and we brought you here to take care of you."

"Thank you, Katara."

He wasn't quite sure what else to say. He'd been sick – that definitely sounded right. He felt really crappy and disorientated. But Katara had taken care of him. She was sitting next to him, brushing the hair out of his face and looking at him super closely like he had dirt on his chin or something. It was making him self-conscious. He felt like total crap, so he probably looked it too.

"You're really staring at me," he said. "I must look so bad right now."

"No, you look really good."

She was obviously lying, but it was nice she said it all the same.

"How long have I been asleep?" he asked slowly, trying to get his bearings.

"Almost two days."

Holy hell!

Uncle would be _beside himself._

"Two days! Shit, I have to go!" He sat up abruptly, trying to fight off the sudden dizzy spell. "My uncle will be going out of his coconut tree. I have to go home! Oh fuck, I am never going to hear the end of this. _Zuko, stop absconding. You make my life one eternal heart attack,"_ he added, mimicking his uncle's tone.

He was going to hear about this _for years_ – if he was lucky.

"Wait, where are my clothes?" he asked. "Where are my shoes? I have to go."

He was only wearing some loose comfy pants. Had someone undressed him? What the hell? He was in a strange part of the city, shirtless and barefoot, with no idea where all his stuff was. This wasn't a good start to the day.

"You're not going anywhere."

Suddenly she was on top of him, but not in a _good_ way like back in the North Pole – in the _trying to hold him down_ way. She pushed him back onto the bed, telling him to relax, slow down, stop struggling, calm down and stop freaking out. Zuko was woozy and groggy and kept freaking out anyway.

"Don't go! Don't leave me!"

By this point she was sitting astride his torso, her hands pinning his shoulders to the bed. There was something in her voice that cut through all the fog and confusion and worry about his uncle. Something was wrong. She was upset. His hands moved to her waist, softly stroking her sides, and he looked up at her, trying to concentrate.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Just... _stay._ Please. You've been so sick."

She leaned back to run a hand over her forehead distractedly. She sounded sad. She'd been worried. He didn't want her to worry.

"You need to rest," she insisted, "even if I have to sit on you to make that happen."

"Kinky," Toph's amused voice observed from the doorway.

Bloody Toph. They didn't raise people right wherever she had come from!

"Koh's sweaty balls, Toph! Will you _just stop,_ already?" Zuko growled, sitting up enough to lift up the heavy, fancy cushion that had been under his head and lob it at her.

He was sick of this brat always making rude comments and teasing them, but he had never in a million years thought that she would just _stand there._ The pillow collided with her tiny body and she went sprawling on her arse.

Shit. He really was a bastard. He'd thrown something at a tiny blind girl.

Who did that?

Only jerks did that!

"Toph, I'm so sorry. I thought you'd duck."

The pillow sailed through the air back towards him and collided with his face. His reflexes were much slower from being so grossly sick and he didn't dodge in time. He was knocked flat on his back again.

"Sorry, I thought you'd duck!" she sassed back before turning to Katara. "Your boyfriend's a dick. You should dump him and go back to Jet."

Zuko had been feeling bad, but that Jet comment made the bad feelings evaporate pretty quick. He no longer felt guilty about getting Toph in the face with the pillow. He threw another one at her but missed. Toph darted away, chuckling to herself. The exertion suddenly made him tired and dizzy. He pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned heavily on his hand, trying to focus.

This sucked!

"Take it easy. I've got you." Katara's arm went around his shoulders and her other hand was threading through his hair in a soothing manner. "Don't worry about your uncle. We told him you're here. He knows you're here and you're okay."

Relief flooded through him. At least Uncle knew where he was so he didn't have to push himself to get back down to the teashop and see the old man. Zuko could relax now.

"Okay." He nodded, practically melting into her shoulder.

She hugged him properly and held him close then. He could wrap his arms around her, bury his face in the crook of her neck, and smell her Katara smell. They held each other for a long time.

"Are you hungry?" she asked eventually.

"Yeah."

He was starving, but he'd gotten used to it.

"I'll make you some breakfast. We've got rice to make some jook, or I can cut up some fruit, or there's these cake things. I can get you some baked goods. Or maybe a smoothie..."

She seemed a little nervous as she kept listing breakfast options. It was weird. She didn't need to fuss over him or go to heaps of effort.

"Katara, you don't have to go to any trouble. It's just me."

Something in her face relaxed. She smiled widely and pulled him close, squeezing him tightly like she was never going to let him go again.

-0-

Katara had called out that breakfast was ready and Aang had wandered into the central room to find everyone already there. She'd set out baked goods and fruit and a few other things on the table and was now sitting next to Zuko, who looked more alert but really tired. He _still_ didn't have a shirt. Toph was doing what she called "just chillin" and lying down on the big cushions. Sokka and Zuko were both eating a huge amount of baked goods. Sokka seemed to be catching Zuko up on their side of dealing with the Dai Li and their adventures with the Earth King. Crumbs were going everywhere as he spoke and ate at the same time. Zuko got stuck on one point in the story in particular.

"The king didn't even know there was a war on? How? Was he asleep for the whole six hundred day siege?"

"The one where your uncle tried to burn the city down?" Toph sassed.

"Yes."

"I wish he had. This place still sucks."

Toph had always hated Ba Sing Se and had been very keen for them to leave. Now they had Appa back. Soon there would be a proper plan for invading the Fire Nation. Soon they would have no reason to stay.

"Agreed," Zuko said. "So many stupid walls and rules. This place is the fucking worst."

Toph gave him a rare, sincere smile before he turned away.

"I can't believe my cousin died for this craphole," Zuko muttered in a sad, bitter voice.

No one seemed to know quite what to say to that. Aang saw Katara put her hand over his. Zuko folded his hand over hers, so she put another hand on top of the hand pile and made a hand-sandwich.

"Anyway, I'm just saying that siege was _massive,"_ Zuko said, changing the conversation back to the Earth King, but not extricating himself from the hand-sandwich. "Heaps of people died on both sides. How did the king not notice?"

"He's never left the palace," Sokka said.

"He's never left the palace? Ever? How old is this king?"

"Err … good question. Mid-twenties. Thirties? I think."

"Yikes. How lazy is this guy? How does he know what's happening in his country if he never goes outside? How does he even do _whatever it is_ he's meant to be doing?" Zuko asked a little disdainfully, abandoning the hand-sandwich to make a series of irate gestures.

"You mean being the leader of the Earth Kingdom?" Aang supplied, feeling like Zuko wasn't being fair to Kuei.

"I wouldn't go that far," Zuko grumbled. "He's not leading anyone if he doesn't even know there's a war on!"

"Hey, give the guy a break. It was probably something to do with the whole 'there is no war in Ba Sing Se' Dai Li conspiracy."

So Kuei didn't like confrontation and liked to hide in his palace and didn't know how to do his job. That wasn't his fault. No one had showed him.

"I'm just saying he could have looked out his window, at any point, during that entire six hundred days and said to himself, ' _What's that sound? Ooooh, it's catapaults and lightning and fireballs and people dying. I wonder what that could mean_? _Oh, it's the Fire Nation. What a surprise.'_ "

"Yeah, well at least he knows now," Aang responded. "He's going to help us with the invasion of the Fire Nation. Isn't that great?"

Zuko blinked twice and didn't respond. He slowly turned to Sokka. "Explain."

"There's an eclipse coming," Aang said before Sokka could open his mouth. "When the moon covers the sun there'll be no firebending – that's when we're going to attack the Fire Lord."

"There's more to it than that!" Sokka gave Aang a gentle whack upside the head.

"You're going to try attack Ozai during the day of black sun even though the eclipse only lasts for a couple of minutes?" Zuko asked, wrinkling his nose.

"Look, Zuko," Sokka said, "don't get all pissed off and—"

"I'm not pissed off. Just thinking. This is my thinking face. I'm not pissed off all the time, you know!"

Sokka gave a disbelieving cough.

"What are you thinking?" Katara asked, stopping a squabble before it erupted.

"Just that it's really ballsy. How are you even going to get into the capitol? What are you going to do about the gates of Azulon?" Zuko sounded concerned and curious.

"The gates of Azulon?" Aang asked.

They hadn't existed one hundred years ago, and Aang had a feeling they were going to be bad.

"My grandfather was super paranoid about invasions. It's the barrier between Caldera Harbour and the ocean. It's a flaming net across the entrance to the bay. It's made out of imperial steel. It's got exploding spike balls that, you know, explode metal balls covered in spikes outwards. It's covered with water-proof incendiary blasting jelly. It's also surrounded by underwater mines. And the towers belch some kind of acid. It melts metal, whatever it is."

"Anything else?" Sokka asked.

"Also, there's catapults in the towers. They're normally also full of archers shooting flaming arrows."

"Did your grandfather ever come across the word overcompensation?" Sokka asked cheekily.

"I know, right? He was a really nasty, paranoid guy." Zuko replied with a smile. "What a hedgehog fucker."

"You're not mad?" Aang asked, perturbed. This hadn't been the reaction he'd been expecting.

"About my grandfather being a paranoid hedgehog fucker?"

"No, about us attacking the Fire Nation. It's your home."

Zuko was Fire Nation. He belonged in the Fire Nation, not sitting next to Katara in Ba Sing Se, pouring out her tea and holding her hand and making comments about his ridiculous amount of terrible relatives.

When they'd been travelling, Zuko had wanted nothing more than to go back to the Fire Nation. He hadn't liked to hear anything bad about his homeland. Aang had been expecting he would react like that again and talk about how great the Fire Nation was and get all mad at them for invading. Aang had assumed Zuko would do that. Then Katara would be reminded that he really was _very different_ from them.

But instead Zuko was quiet for a long moment.

"My whole life I was taught that the Fire Nation was blessing all the world with our greatness, our warmth and our light. But that's not reality. I've seen so many terrible things. The world hates us. The world is terrified of the Fire Nation...and they're right to be. The Fire Nation is wrong. We've created an era of hate in the world and thrown everything completely out of balance. If Aang is to restore the balance, he'll have to stop the Fire Nation. I always figured something like this would be in the cards. I'm just surprised it's so soon." Zuko turned to Aang, sounding concerned. "Are you going to be ready in two months?"

"I hope so. We can get back to training properly now that we have Appa."

"You haven't even been training?" Zuko sounded really alarmed now.

"So you really don't want to go home anymore?" Aang asked, answering his question with another question. He wanted to steer their conversation away from his lack of training and imminent battles.

"I can't go back," Zuko said quietly. He smiled ruefully at Katara. "I've done too much super-mega treason now. Also, everyone at home thinks I'm dead, so..." He trailed off and gave a little shrug.

"Why do they think you're dead?" Katara asked.

"They think I either got killed up North or got eaten by the Water Tribes near Pohuai...sorry," he added, noticing Katara and Sokka's expressions.

"Well, go back there and tell them we don't eat people!" Sokka demanded, giving him a shove.

"No thanks. I'm going to stay dead this time." Zuko shoved him back.

Katara made a horrified face and started scolding Zuko for making jokes about staying dead.

"What?" he said defensively. "Everyone thinking you're dead is actually _a huge strategic advantage._ I was able to travel so much more freely because no one was looking for me."

"Your sister knows you're alive, though. Won't that be a problem in your little _oh, yay - everyone thinks I'm dead_ plan," Katara said sarcastically, while crossing her arms and frowning severely at Zuko. She seemed angry at him – that was good.

"Yeah. That's weird," Zuko admitted. "After Azula found me the first time, I kept, you know, waiting for the wanted postersto go up. They were everywhere for my uncle, but he blends in. My"—he gestured towards his facial scar—"makes me more recognisable. I have a memorable face, apparently." He said this diffidently, but there was a brittleness to his voice.

Suddenly, it was like any anger Katara had at Zuko just melted away. She was putting her arms around his shoulders. Boo.

"Azula has obviously not said anything about finding me to our father. I don't know why. It bugs me," Zuko confessed with a little shrug.

Sokka looked wary. "I think I know, but you won't like it."

"What do you think it is?"

"Well, the obvious reason is to guarantee her claim to the throne. With you 'dead' she's next in line, and if no one else knows you're alive, it becomes a lot easier to...remove you from the picture. She could kill you out here, be an only child, and it would never be traced back to her – if everyone already thinks you're dead. It's the perfect murder."

"Fucking hell, Sokka! Why would you even say something like that!" Yet less than one second later, Zuko put his head in his hands. "Holy hell, you're right. That's it, isn't it?"

"Sorry. Sometimes I hate _always being right_."

"You are burdened with terrible genius," Toph agreed sarcastically.

"My own sister wants to kill me," Zuko moaned to the floor, ignoring them both.

"If it makes you feel better, she was originally planning to murder you gently," Toph said in what she must have thought was a helpful tone.

"Murder me _gently?"_ Zuko looked up abruptly.

"She said she was going to bore you to death by making you listen to an eighty-day long concerto, for old time's sake. I'm just presuming with no bathroom breaks, to make it extra horrible."

Inexplicably, Zuko gave a sad little smile. "Really?"

"Yeah, but then she decided she'd have to do something slow and painful and cruel and unusual instead, because you pissed her off."

"That sounds more like her. How do you know this?"

"Me and Sugar spied on her. Can I just say your sister is a psychotic gremlin."

Zuko frowned and crossed his arms. "Well, I guess it takes one to know one!"

"Are you calling me a psychotic gremlin?"

"If the shoe fits," he deadpanned. "Ah, I guess you wouldn't know about shoes, you barefoot hippy."

Toph threw a pillow at him, chuckling but acting like she was pissed off at the same time. "You're such a jerk. I liked you better when you were unconscious. No wonder your own sister wants to kill you."

-0-

Toph knew some really creative taunts from the Earth Rumbles, phrases so weird and disgusting they put hedgehog-fucker to shame. She was such a brat, and so damn rude, but Zuko found himself really enjoying her company now that she wasn't yelling at him to kiss Katara every two seconds.

Sokka called out from the other room that she should start getting ready for the palace. Zuko knew without even asking that he wouldn't be included in that invitation.

"I'm feeling a little better," Zuko started to say. This was a slight exaggeration. He was feeling like a platypus bear had sat on him, but at least he wasn't feeling totally shit any more. "Maybe while you guys are at the palace, I can go home and check on my...urgh!"

Katara had been sitting next to him on the couch, but quicker than a flash she changed to sitting _on him_ instead. This was the second time she'd done this. She was holding him down, and Zuko got a good view of her chest. Normally, he would have really appreciated that, had they been alone. Toph was still there, so he turned his face away, blushing furiously. He didn't want to come off as a creepy, boob-staring pervert. He knew the little brat would have many comments about that.

"Stop trying to leave!" Katara scolded. "You could still be contagious!"

"You know, you didn't need to tackle me," Zuko pointed out from underneath her. "You could have just said that."

She blushed crimson and seemed to suddenly realise the situation. "Yeah. Sorry."

She looked so embarrassed as she climbed off him. Zuko wanted to make it better. She didn't need to be embarrassed.

"It's okay. I don't mind you sitting on me."

He just said the first thing that came to mind.

"You two are so kinky," Toph commented gleefully from the other couch.

Toph must have been lying about coming from a noble family. She had obviously been raised by rude, wild fox-wolves and not in a fancy upper class compound. Zuko shouted a few insults and threw another pillow at her. Insults and pillows which Toph returned. Katara scolded them both, then settled back next to him on the couch. Something scraped against his side as she did that.

"What's that?" he asked.

She showed him, pointing to the knife attached firmly to her belt.

"You kept it?" Zuko asked, feeling a strange happiness.

She'd kept it on her all this time. She hadn't lost it or sold it or put it in a bag so she didn't have to see it any more. The knife was the wrong shape to be worn on the belt like that; it didn't even have a scabbard fastening, but she'd tied it many times with a leather cord so it would always be with her.

"Of course I kept it. It's yours." She gave him a private little smile, but that dropped quickly and she stood up, reaching for the knife and starting to unfasten the ties. "I guess I should give it back now."

He put his hand over hers to still her fingers. "No. I gave it to you. You keep it. I want you to have it. It's yours now."

Her face lit up like the sun and she leaned over and hugged him tight. "Thank you," she whispered in his ear.

It was a nice moment.

So naturally Toph ruined it.

"Now kiss!"

"Get out of here, Toph!"

-0-

Notes:

One million thanks to the gorgeous Boogum, who is such a gem and everyone should go read her new "I don't speak meow language" fic now. Another big thanks to everyone who takes the time to review and comment. It makes my day!

So, in this chapter we have Aang sorting out his jealousy. I love the little dude, and I don't want to seem harsh to him, but Aang was very immature romantically…because he was a 12 year-old bryke. Aang's just had a huge curve ball thrown at him. His little 'forever-girl' fantasy has been poked by the big mean reality stick. So Aang has a lot of feelings – and he needs to take some time to sort through these feelings. But it will be good for his growth I promise.

I think the show at the end of book two was really emphasising that Aang's attachment to Katara was unhealthy and it actively hinders him. So I really wanted him to work through it and come out better for the experience. See he stills loves Katara and Zuko separately as individuals, but it is going to take a while for him to come around to the idea of them as a couple.

Also in Aang's romantic fantasies, Katara's feelings aren't taken into account very much. (To be fair to Aang, bryke leave out how she goes from their argument in the first half of sozin's comet – to a full on smooch with literally no explanation. So I guess Aang's not the only one who discounts Katara's feelings.) Aang doesn't see her as a person when he thinks about her romantically, but a prize to be won – which is why he thinks he can "flip" for her.

This is different from Aang-the-friend, who is actually amazing and sweet and really cares about his friends.

Katara taking Aang with her to the apocathary and asking no-stop if he was okay, is the closest she can bring herself to broaching the subject of Aang's big old crush. Katara, Sokka and Toph all kind of know why Aang is being more standoffish with Zuko – but will poor Zuko figure it out? Only time will tell.

I think Zuko, as a royal-who-does-things, wouldn't have that much time for Kuei, a royal-who-didn't-even-know-his-own-city-was-under-seige-for-600-days. Zuko has a really strong work ethic, and in comparison, Kuei seems a bit lazy to me.

So Katara staying behind to look after Zuko was a tough choice for me, because I love me some action!Katara. But action!Katara got to slap the whole Dai Li with a lake last chapter, and I couldn't actually see her wanting to do anything else but look after Zuko at this point. Realistically, they don't know where Uncle is and Zuko is in a bad way. Also, when I watched the way the Gaang blast into the palace, Katara doesn't really get that much of the action. Sure she gets a few good moves, but it really is mostly the Aang and Toph show, until the get to the king's chambers where it was Sokka's time to shine. So our drama llamas got to spend time together, even though one of them was unconscious.

Zuko still had his weird fever dreams, but they would have mixed with his ocean dreams and his usual nightmares (about the Agni Kai and Makapu) in this case. He's also a sleep mumbler when he's sick.

Next chapter Iroh and Zuko will reunite, the Gaang will discover some letters and some choices will need to be made. Aslo Zuko will make friends with Appa again. Until then lovely readers.


	13. Letters of Ba Sing Se

Appa had been shifting uncomfortably when he sat on his paws. Katara gave his legs a much more thorough check-up. She found lots of old burn scars hidden by his fur. He'd been hurt really badly with fire when he'd been lost. It was probably why he'd been so scared of fire. She'd told Zuko, and his face had darkened and he'd muttered something like "fucking bastards" under his breath.

Appa was eating his way through a pile of all his favourite fruits in the far corner of their courtyard. Zuko had started sitting at the other side, right next to her, but every few minutes he'd scooch a bit closer to Appa. Appa would look up, notice where Zuko was, and then go back to eating. Zuko was moving so slowly because he didn't want to scare Appa again. He was so patient with this.

The others had gone to see the Earth King, so it was just the two of them in the house. Katara normally loved being in the middle of all the action, but she had almost zero desire to sit in a stuffy, military planning room when Zuko was right here trying to make friends again with a bison. Zuko couldn't see the Earth King because he could still be contagious. Also, he was the prince of the Fire Nation, living under a secret identity.

Katara didn't want to leave him.

She didn't think she'd be able to let him leave her either now that she had him back. She was ashamed of this, but she'd hidden his shoes so he wouldn't be able to take off as easily. When he'd asked her where his clothes were, she'd said in the wash, and she'd give them back soon – _like a liar._ She knew this was weird, pervy and wrong, but she couldn't help herself. Besides, she kind of liked watching him shirtless. Mmmmhhh.

Aang had kind of ruined the shirtlessness by having a little conniption about Zuko's state of undress before he left. He'd gone through Sokka's stuff and found some spare shirts that would fit Zuko. He had given the whole pile to Zuko, saying that Zuko had been sick and he should cover up and keep warm. Zuko had been a bit bemused by this. He had experimentally sniffed each shirt until he chose one.

He'd actually tried to take the other shirts to the laundry because they smelled like Sokka hadn't washed them in months. Katara then had to go and back up her lie about clothes being in the laundry. She had taken them from Zuko and actually washed all her brother's smelly clothes, because otherwise Zuko would have done it himself and uncovered her _pile of lies._

She just hadn't quite gotten over the fact that one of the first things he'd said when he woke up was that he had to go – he had to leave. Something inside her had snapped and said, _Oh, no you don't! Don't you dare leave me again!_

It was irrational and weird.

She had felt a flood of anger towards him when he'd casually spoken about how everyone thinking he was dead was a good strategy. He had broken her heart with that little "strategy". She hadn't told him about that one day up in the North when she assumed that he was dead and it had broken her heart into a million pieces.

Then the conversation had turned to his murderous gremlin of a sister and all her anger had evaporated and was replaced by this bone-deep desire to keep him _with her_ and _safe._ She wanted to wrap him in blankets and never let any members of his horrible family near him again.

The longer Zuko was awake, the better and more alert he seemed. Now, he kept wanting to help her do stuff, but she wouldn't let him. She was being worse than Sokka was with Suki on the Serpent's Pass. Aside from the fever, he'd clearly had a bad time of it since they had last seen each other. He was so much thinner. He hadn't been looking after himself properly. She just wanted to take care of him. In truth, she wanted to do everything for him. He was clearly finding it exceptionally off-putting, muttering that he could do things himself in a way that reminded her bizarrely of Toph when she had first joined.

What was worse was that he kept trying to do stuff _for her._ He'd actually snuck away from her and into the kitchen to do the dishes. She'd been quite irate when she found him. The irony of getting angry at Zuko for doing the dishes for her, when she had been nagging the other guys (for weeks!) to help out more with them, was not lost on Katara.

Katara should probably talk to him about some of this stuff she was feeling and thinking. She had a lot of stuff. She had to find a normal way to say to him, "You have to stay with me forever now because I can't bear to lose you again. And you can't ever be in any danger, or be sad or hurt or die or pretend to be dead or any other nonsense like that. Or I'll never give your shoes back. So there."

The others were gone, and it was quiet in the house except for the sound of Appa's munching. It was just the two of them. She could say it now. But Zuko had finally made it over to Appa and she didn't want to interrupt. He reached out tentatively and Katara held her breath and crossed her fingers. Appa didn't shy away this time, but let Zuko pat him. He went completely still. The bison even stopped chewing while he looked at Zuko out of the side of his eyes.

"Hi, buddy. Hey, Appa. Hey, Big Guy." Zuko gently used all the pet names they called Appa.

Appa made a rumbling noise.

"I'm sorry my fire scared you. I'm sorry fire has hurt you. But you've got to know I'd never hurt you with it and I'll be so careful around you, okay?"

Appa leaned closer, still watching him.

"I know it's hard to trust people again after you've been burned and hurt, but I promise I'm going to protect you from any fire that would hurt you. I'm your friend."

Appa gave Zuko a huge, friendly lick in response, which covered him from head to toe in bison saliva. Zuko looked the most comical combination of disgusted and delighted. Katara laughed loudly, then bent away the excess fluid. She went over to him.

"Appa likes me again!" Zuko declared with a huge and dorky smile as he stroked the bison.

"I can see that." She watched Appa nuzzle him back. "You're very good with calming down angry animals."

She'd never really seen this side of Zuko before. He was often so impulsive and impatient. She didn't know he could wait for ages to soothe a frightened bison.

"Where did you learn how to do that?" she asked.

"I always liked animals. I really wanted a pet as a kid, but Mum said I couldn't because of Azula…" He stopped talking and swallowed audibly.

She put a hand on his shoulder, because this story was going somewhere and she wanted to hear the rest of it, and he was looking sad at just the mention of his sister.

"Anyway, I really wanted one, and I was good at catching animals because I was so sneaky. When we stayed at the beach in summer, there was a big jungle behind the house. I used to bring all sorts of animals home, mostly sloth-cats. I'd try and sneak them in because I didn't want my mum to be angry at me."

"Did you ever think of _not_ bringing home random wild animals?" Katara asked, even though she was a little amused at the idea of a tiny Zuko using his baby ninja powers to abscond with sleepy sloth cats and whatnot.

"Yeah, that was a logical step too far for little me," Zuko said, smiling back at her. But then his face darkened. "Anyway, Azula would find them and she ... she'd set them on fire or hurt them because they were mine. If they were super unlucky, they'd run deeper into the house and get lost or trapped. I'd have to catch them again so I could take them back outside.

"But once an animal had met my sister, it was normally super terrified of people. So I had to learn to make my voice super soft and my hands super gentle and wait for them to come to me, or at least to let me near them so I could help them. One cat was so scared, and it scratched me up really badly when I was trying to help it. My mum was so angry at me. It was one of the only times she shouted at me that I can remember. She just kept yelling, _"Zuko, you can't just keep wild things as pets!"_

"And then what?"

"I didn't catch any more animals after that. Mum was right. They were wild things. They were meant to be free. It was stupid of me to try and keep them like house pets. I had to let them go."

-0-

Iroh had been given the golden pass up through the series of districts to the Upper Ring. Quon and his men had helped Iroh begin to set up the Jasmine Dragon all day. As soon as Quon left, Iroh had taken the lost bison poster out of his pocket and set out for the address written there. He knocked on the door.

Iroh waited for what he felt was an inappropriate amount of time, especially considering he heard voices coming from indoors.

"Don't open it! It's only going to be bad news!"

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, when has a knock at the door at this time of night ever been good news?"

"True."

"It's probably just Joo Dee again."

"That _better not_ be Joo Dee again!"

"No, it's not. Shut up, guys! I actually know this person."

The small blind girl from the hillside suddenly opened the door with a wide smile. "Hi, friend."

Iroh looked past her and saw Zuko sitting on the couch in the central room, looking up at him in surprise. Iroh pushed past the small girl.

"Bye, friend," she said mournfully, before adding, "That was rude."

It was, but Iroh didn't care.

Iroh pulled Zuko's head into his chest and almost pulled him off the couch in the process. He gave his nephew a very enthusiastic hug. "Zuko. You are here. Oh my spirits. You are okay. _You never came home._ I was waiting. But you are okay. Thank goodness you are okay!"

Zuko began flailing his arms and trying to escape Iroh's embrace, because the hug wasn't a very comfortable position for him. Iroh was squishing Zuko's face a little bit, but he couldn't seem to help himself.

"You made me so worried, Nephew. I have been searching everywhere for you. How are you in the Upper Ring? Why are you in the Upper Ring? What on earth happened to you? Why didn't you come home? Have you been hurt? Have you been captured? Did the Dai Li brainwash you – no, that's foolish. You wouldn't be here if they had. But where are your shoes? You have given me eighteen hundred heart attacks, do you know this? Perhaps even nine hundred heart attacks. My life is one giant heart attack because of ..."

Iroh felt a cool hand on his arm, and a girl's soft voice said, "General Iroh, we are so sorry. We did not mean to worry you."

Iroh looked at the girl. He took in blue eyes, pretty face, Water Tribe hairstyle.

So this must be Zuko's Katara.

Where were his manners?

Iroh released his nephew abruptly. Zuko seemed to shake himself to recover from both the sudden intensity of the hug and its equally sudden conclusion. Iroh took the girl's hand and planted a gentle kiss on it, saying he was delighted to make her re-acquaintance. He wanted to make a good impression on Zuko's girlfriend.

"Uncle, why are you so worried?" Zuko interrupted, sounding a little defensive and very embarrassed as he dusted himself off. "Katara told me they wrote you a note."

"Your friends wrote me this!" Iroh pulled the note out of his pocket and showed it to Zuko.

 _We have your Lee – okay._

Zuko read it, groaned, and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Who wrote this? _"_ Iroh exclaimed as he waved the note in the face of the assumed culprit. The boy, Sokka, took a step back. "What was I meant to do with this note? This tells me _nothing!_ What is this note?"

"In my defence, I knew you would be living under a secret identity and wouldn't want extra attention, especially because of ... you know ... you laying siege to this city for six hundred days. We turned up at the teashop with a lot of royal guards. I had to be subtle and try write to you in code, with no extra information that would tip them off."

"Mmmhh, I cannot fault your thinking," Iroh conceded.

Sokka had a fine mind and a good head for strategy, but _great Agni above_ did it need some fine tuning if he thought this was an acceptable note to leave a worried parent.

"I'm afraid you need to know a lot more about the cryptic arts before you leave me any more codes in the future young man," Iroh added severely. He pointed to the part of the note that had bothered him the most. "What is the meaning of this _okay?"_

"It was to tell you Zuko was okay, but without any extra words."

"Well, it reads like you are exasperated with Zuko."

"I mean, I'm often that too. Zuko, man he gives me so many brain explosions of worry. No matter how much common sense you throw at him, nothing sticks. It's like he's made of rubber – common sense just bounces right off him."

"Oi. I'm right here!" Zuko protested.

"I know exactly what you mean," Iroh commiserated. "He has given me such an endless series of heart attacks in this city. He was so miserable without his friends. He kept climbing all the city walls to find a way up, even with the Dai Li everywhere. And I would say, 'Please do not do this horrendously dangerous thing, Zuko. You are not invisible. Someone will eventually see you.' Then he would look me straight in the eye and say" – he lowered his voice to do an impression of his nephew – "'I'm off to do the dangerous thing again, Uncle.'"

Zuko make a very offended face. Iroh and Sokka, however, exchanged a look of complete and deep understanding.

"How did you even get up here, Uncle?" Zuko asked petulantly. He was sitting next to Katara again with his arms crossed grumpily over his chest.

Iroh explained about their new teashop and Quon's generosity. He was still in the process of setting it up, but they would be ready to open in a few days. "It's our dream come true," he concluded.

"Yeah," Zuko said, but he didn't seem really happy with the news. He was looking intently at the floor and wouldn't meet Iroh's gaze.

"General Iroh, this will sound very strange, but have you put a pentapus on your face?" the girl, Katara (Zuko's pretty girlfriend!) asked.

He had been hoping to have a proper conversation with such a fine young woman. He'd had many strange conversations with fascinating strangers, but even Iroh was surprised that this was the first thing she asked him.

"You are right. That does sound strange," Iroh replied with a cheeky twinkle in his eye. "But I have."

"You have?" Zuko looked up in surprise. "Was everyone just running around secretly putting pentapus on their face behind my back?"

"Pentapus treatment was in the terms and conditions booklet when we arrived. Did you not read it? They were providing pentapus in the market place on a schedule for the purpose of preventing the spread of the disease. It was very well organised. I told you to go do it and you said you would."

"What? I have no memory of this conversation." Zuko wrinkled his nose in confusion.

"You were heading out to eastern market and I said, 'If you are searching for spices and bargains in the east, you need to get a pentapus.' You said _'okay, I'll do that'_." Iroh mimicked his nephew's sarcastic tone.

Zuko's jaw dropped. "I thought that was one of your weird proverbs!"

"What on earth would that be a proverb about?"

"Finding our place in the universe?"

Everyone turned and looked at him with differing levels of judgement. He blushed and seemed to realise how foolish it sounded.

"Whatever! Proverbs are stupid."

"How could a member of my own family say something so horrible?"

"Shall we have some tea?" Katara announced brightly, effectively changing the subject.

-0-

Sokka was learning a variation of Pai Sho from the old guy while Sugar and Spice went to make tea. They had clearly been planning to make-out in the kitchen while the tea was steeping, so Aang ruined that plan and volunteered to go along and 'help' too. Toph shook her head as she felt the kitchen shenanigans. She turned back to the game.

"You have a fine mind for strategy, Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, but you did not foresee this."

Zuko's Uncle delivered what Toph assumed was a crushing blow, based on how much Sokka carried on. Sokka had clearly lost their game and was carrying on dramatically.

"Don't worry," Uncle said encouragingly. "Pai Sho is a game of skill and you are only just learning. I'm sure if we keep playing, you will get much better!"

They started setting up the board again. Toph couldn't shake the thought that this was so strange, yet it felt kinda right too. The guy she met on the hillside when she needed some wisdom the most was now sitting here with them and trying to give wisdom to Sokka. He gave good advice. He was super calm and wise. She couldn't believe he was related to that hot-headed grump Katara adored.

"I can't believe Zuko is you nephew," Toph commented, "He was the one you were talking about, wasn't he? The one who always wanted to do everything on his own."

"Yes, but your wise council, Toph Bei Fong, really helped me with him. I followed your sage advice and things were much better between us."

"My wisdom helped?" Toph exclaimed, surprised but also really, really pleased. She was tough. She was sarcastic. She could be a jerk. No one had ever called her wise before, but it felt nice. She liked it.

"You told me to tell my nephew I needed him too. I did. And it helped us better understand each other. I thank you for the wisdom you shared with me that day."

"Well, your advice helped me too." Toph was sure she was blushing.

"Then I am glad."

"You're going to take him away from us, aren't you?" Toph asked after a beat. She had always believed in being direct. Uncle hadn't come here to teach Sokka Pai Sho. He'd come for a reason.

"I'm afraid I don't understand the question, Toph Bei Fong."

"Zuko. You're here to take him home, aren't you? We'll be leaving soon, and those idiots" – she pointed vaguely towards the kitchen, implicating Aang and Katara – "have just assumed Zuko's coming with us, but no one has actually asked Zuko yet. He's your family. He's going to have to choose between coming with us on Appa or staying here with you."

"I would never force my nephew to choose between me and his friends."

"Well, he's going to have to choose, whether you force him or not," Toph said with a shrug.

-0-

Uncle Iroh hadn't stayed much longer after his Pai Sho game with Sokka last night. Zuko had started yawning, because he just felt so tired. Uncle had noticed and had instructed him to get some sleep. He said Zuko should stay with his friends, because their apartment wasn't properly set up yet, and asked Zuko to come around midday, giving him their new address.

Uncle's voice had sounded weird. It sounded like he was sad, but that couldn't be right. Uncle's dreams of owning his own teashop were coming true. He'd been able to tell at least four embarrassing stories about when Zuko had been a kid, and made everyone laugh. Zuko had made him his favourite tea (and he'd done it right, thanks to Uncle's teachings). It didn't make any sense that Uncle would be sad.

Zuko had gone to put away the tea set in one of the kitchen cupboards when he found his shoes hidden in the next shelf.

What the hell?

He looked up and saw Katara in the doorway, staring at him with wide, alarmed eyes.

"Katara, what is this?" he asked slowly.

She just made an "eeeeeeeerrrr" sound.

"Seriously, why are my shoes here?" Zuko waggled his shoes at her a little impatiently. That _eeerrrr face_ was the face she did before she was about to spin some bullshit for Sokka and Aang. She didn't need to do that for him.

"I hid them, okay," she confessed in a small voice.

"Why did you hide my shoes?"

Katara leaned against the counter on one hand. "So you wouldn't leave." She looked out the window and sighed nervously. "Jeez, it sounds so creepy when I say it out loud."

Zuko walked over to where she was standing, hands on the counter, still looking out the window like a frozen statue. She wouldn't even look at him. Her cheeks were bright pink from embarrassment. He hopped up and sat on the counter, put his hands on her shoulders, and turned her to face him.

"Don't be embarrassed. It's not creepy."

She gave him a sceptical look.

"Okay, it's a little creepy. Happy now?"

Now she gave him a slightly offended look.

Damn, everything he was saying seemed to be the wrong thing tonight. Maybe he should stop talking about creepiness.

"Why did you do it?" he asked after a beat.

"Just … I didn't want you to leave without saying a proper goodbye this time." Her fingers traced the pattern in the wooden counter top. She still wouldn't meet his eyes.

"I wouldn't do that."

Didn't she know that?

"But you did!" She looked up, her eyes blazing. He was momentarily taken aback by her intensity. "You just _left us_ at the North Pole! We didn't know what had happened to you!"

"I didn't have a choice then. I had to go or I would have been killed!" Zuko said defensively.

She obviously remembered the Siege of the North differently. He remembered having to do everything he could to survive. He'd left a message for her. He'd tried his best to make sure she knew what had happened. Zuko didn't think he'd done anything wrong, but Katara was acting like he had chosen to just ditch her without an explanation.

"Why is this such a big deal to you?" he asked, feeling completely lost in this conversation.

"I thought you were dead, okay! I thought you were dead and it was all my fault and _it broke my heart!"_ She yelled at him suddenly.

He scooched back in surprise.

"You broke my heart when you left, okay, so you can't just _leave me_ again!"

Zuko didn't say anything. He just stared at her, shocked and confused.

She burst into tears.

Damnit! He'd made her cry. He was the worst boyfriend ever! Why was he so bad at this? He'd just wanted to know why she'd hidden his shoes. He'd never meant to make her cry. Now he was feeling a pinprick of tears behind his eyes, because she was so sad and it was his fault and he didn't know how to fix it. He hopped off the counter and moved in front of her to wrap his arms around her properly. He rubbed her back and tried to make soothing noises, because that was what had always helped before.

"Being without you broke my heart too," he confessed softly, deciding that it was better to be as honest with her as he could.

He thought about the whole trip to Ba Sing Se when he'd been wandering around alone in the desert, losing his bending and feeling like the world was empty and meaningless without her. It had been heartbreak all along.

"Agni, I missed you so much." He leaned his forehead against hers. "I thought about you every day, you know."

"You did?"

"I did. I was so sad without you. All of Uncle's Flower Friends called me a gloomy, grumpy giraffe-alpaca because I was so depressing and annoying to be around."

She gave him a watery smile. "Gloomy, grumpy giraffe-alpaca. It suits you."

Now it was Zuko's turn to give her an offended look, but he could see her wry smile and decided to drop it. He'd let her call him a gloomy giraffe-alpaca if it made her happy.

"Toph used to say I was annoying as well. She said I was too fussy and bossy and you left me because you had gotten sick of me. You can tease me about that."

"Toph's a butthead."

Katara snorted. "I can't believe you called her a butthead. That's so harsh," she said with a huge smile.

"Jeez, I was just trying to say that she's wrong." He took her face in his hands and looked her in the eyes. "Katara, I'm _never_ going to be sick of you, okay?"

There wasn't ever going to be another person for him quite like Katara. He'd given her his knife and his whole heart, and he wasn't getting either back any time soon.

-0-

"So it turns out the Dai Li were hiding our mail," Sokka said. "They had a letter from some guru for Aang, saying he can teach Aang to master the Avatar State. They had a letter for Toph from her mum, and information about dad. Also this is for you." He handed Katara an envelope. It had immigration department seal on it.

She opened it quickly. "Hey, it's form A4762-B!"

It had finally arrived. The visitor's pass was enclosed with her approval letter. She handed it to Zuko magnanimously. Zuko was very confused by this development, so she explained about the depressing municipal building where she had waited two hours to be spoken to rudely by some overworked clerk.

"It took me ages to convince the guy to file it, because I didn't know your last name, so it's just a generic one."

"I actually don't have a last name. I have royal status. But no one has a last name in the Fire Nation. We're all 'Of the Fire Nation' ... in the Fire Nation," he finished lamely.

"What happens if you meet another Zuko and you're both Zuko of the Fire Nation?" Sokka asked.

"That's actually a big problem at home, because any royal name gets super popular, so there's heaps of Zukos."

"A whole nation of Zukos? How does the Fire Nation even function?" Toph said with feigned concern.

"Shut up, Toph, you last-name-having weirdo."

"Having a last name isn't weird!"

"Yes. It is. No one else here has one," Zuko pointed out.

Toph moved her head towards each of them, and you could tell the exact moment she figured out that Zuko was right. Her face wrinkled in disgruntlement. She really was the only one with a last name.

"Damnit!" she said hotly, crossing her arms.

"So, what _do_ you do in the Fire Nation if two people have the same name?" Sokka asked. "We go by families in the Water Tribe. So if there was another Sokka, I'd be Sokka Hakoda-son, and he'd be Sokka what's-his-face-son."

"We just go by geography in the Fire Nation. So if it was just me and this other Zuko, and I wasn't a prince, I'd be Zuko of Caldera City and he'd be Zuko of Cherry Island or whatever."

"Makes sense," Sokka said.

"Well, I couldn't put 'Of The Fire Nation' on the form _obviously_ ," Katara interjected, "so I just got you the generic pass. You better appreciate it, because I had to wait for ages to get that."

"I can't believe you were willing to deal with the Ba Sing Se bureaucracy to get this for me." Zuko said, smiling at her.

He was holding the visitor's pass in his hands and giving her one of those long looks. She could see the little flecks of gold and brown in his eyes.

"Now kiss!"

"Shut up, Toph!" they both said in unison.

"Guys! We should get back to the letters!" Aang said abruptly. "What should we do?"

Sokka was in two minds. His first mind said that it made sense that the Dai Li had hidden their correspondence, because the Dai Li had been trying to control them. Now they had taken down the Dai Li and had been rewarded with their mail! Aang could actually learn from this guru how to control the Avatar State, Toph could see her mum, and Sokka could see his dad! His second mind said that these letters were a little too convenient, and could be a trap. Maybe the Dai Li were even cleverer than Sokka had thought and planned ahead.

Aang thought Sokka was being a little paranoid. The Dai Li were gone. They weren't still going to be laying traps for them. Besides, Aang needed to learn from this guru, because he really needed to start learning how to control the Avatar State.

"I agree with Aang," Zuko said. "He really needs to start training _._ Seriously, the eclipse is so close."

"It's months away," Aang pointed out, not looking like he welcomed Zuko's input even though Zuko was agreeing with him.

"Exactly, it's only months away," Zuko agreed, ignoring Aang's tone.

"Well, my mum wants to see me. She says she understands me now. But after everything..." Toph trailed off here and sighed. She rarely spoke about her parents.

Katara put her hand on her Toph's shoulder in silent support.

"Families can be rough, eh?" Zuko offered after Toph hadn't said anything for a long moment.

"Yeah, but I should try to make peace with my mother, shouldn't I?" she said, sounding uncertain. "I could just go for a quick visit. She's only one district over."

"You can borrow Zuko's visitor's pass," Sokka said, snatching it from Zuko and trying to hand it to Toph.

"Oi, that's mine!"

Inelegant struggling ensued.

"Toph, it's up to you," Katara said over the top of the boys squabbling in the background. "No one will make you see your mum, but I think it could be good. In this letter it sounds like she really wants to understand you better."

Sokka had just proven that he could lift Zuko up. He was crowing in victory and being very obnoxious about this. Zuko was trying to pick Sokka up, Princess-style, in retaliation. Sokka did not make a good princess and struggled so much he threw Zuko off his balance, and they both tumbled on their arses.

"And if I stay with her for a few days, it'll give me a break from these idiots," Toph said, nodding towards the boys.

Zuko now had Sokka in a headlock, but Sokka was squirming like an octopus and trying to trip Zuko over. Aang then joined in, ostensibly to stop the fighting, but he was actually making it worse.

"Idiots," Toph said with a fond shake of her head. Then she raised her voice. "Okay, idiots. I've decided I'm going to see my mum."

The squabbling abruptly stopped.

Katara asked Sokka what he wanted to do about their dad.

"Well, part of being a man is knowing where you're needed the most," Sokka mused, looking torn. "I think the Earth King needs someone here to help him, and I'm good at this stuff …"

Katara knew how much he wanted to see their dad, so she offered to take his place advising the Earth King. She gave pretty good advice too. Sokka was delighted and called her the best sister ever. He was right. She was, wasn't she?

"Look, I hate to say it, because the family has only just gotten back together, but maybe it does make sense that we split up just for a week," Katara said, now that the other three had decided to go their own way. She'd wait in the city for them. But she'd be waiting with Zuko, which would make it a lot less lonely.

-0-

Sokka had taken Zuko aside in the kitchen just before he'd left.

Sokka had, _frozen hell,_ feelings. Again. He had worried feelings about leaving Katara on her own. She'd never been on her own except for that one time when he and Aang had gotten sucked into the spirit world together, and she'd hated that. She'd always had someone to boss around, someone to take care of, someone to eat with. A week would be a long time for her in this house by herself. Sokka didn't trust anyone in this city except Zuko. He was explaining this to Zuko

"It's really communal where we come from. And I don't want her to get lonely. She's used to company and..."

"I know. I'll come over every day after work."

"And just so you know, she'll need to be all in your business and she has to know everything you're thinking all the time, and she'll nag you..."

"I know."

"She's going to be dealing with sexist generals all day, so she's probably going to be pissed when she gets home. But if she starts humming the fishing song under her breath, it means she's super mad ... she's like going to slap a bitch with the entire ocean mad, and..."

"I know. Sokka, _I know her._ Stop worrying and go see your dad. We'll be okay."

Sokka had believed him. Weirdly, he'd felt confident that those two actually would look after each other. Zuko and Katara were both such hotheads. Sokka didn't trust either of them to stay out of shenanigans individually. He trusted them more as a unit. They could both be stupid about things, but when they were together it was as if their combined stupidity balanced out.

-0-

When Sokka and Zuko returned from the kitchen, Toph declared she was leaving. Toph, always fiercely independent and wanting to avoid a mushy goodbye, didn't want them to walk her to the Bei Fong residence. She knew the way and she wanted to go on her own to clear her head. She said she'd come back to the house if she had any trouble and she would see Katara in a few days. Sokka and Aang started packing for their trip.

Before he left to start packing, Sokka gave Zuko and Katara both a severe look, hands on his hips. "Neither of you two do anything stupid while I am gone," he scolded like a fishwife.

They chuckled at his tone and his expression.

"I'm serious! Be sensible or I am tattooing _How Not to Die_ instructions on Zuko when I get back – in a place you won't like!"

Zuko protested loudly at this.

They made a few jokes at Sokka's expense and had a bit of a laugh on the veranda. After their laughter had subsided, Zuko touched her elbow gently.

"I should go see my uncle now," he whispered in her ear.

And it was hard. It was so hard saying goodbye, even though she knew she'd see him that night. He'd promised to come over and have dinner with her so she didn't have to eat by herself. He always kept his promises. She knew that. But it still made her guts wrench to watch him walk away.

She went with Sokka and Aang to the palace. They introduced her to the army generals and the Earth King, and showed her around. She walked them back down to the central courtyard, and Sokka started readying their bags. Aang was standing next to Appa, looking nervous.

"You ready to learn how to master the Avatar State, Aang?" Katara said in what she hoped was a bright and optimistic tone.

"Listen, Katara, there's something I have to tell you," he said, ignoring her question.

He took a deep breath. He looked so anxious but also so determined. Before she had time to make an excuse and run away, or start patting Momo and pretending she couldn't hear him, he'd blurted it out.

"I like you. I like you as more than a friend. I want you to be my girlfriend."

-0-

Sokka had never felt so much second-hand embarrassment in his life.

If it was possible to die from cringing, he would have expired in Appa's saddle right then and there. Aang just confessed his affections before Sokka had a chance to distract him with something shiny or interrupt their conversation.

It went about as well as Sokka assumed it would.

Katara was awkward. She flailed and faffed about and blushed – and, most importantly, she rejected Aang's little crush. Aang's expression sank. It was awful to watch. It was like watching a volcano erupt in slow motion. The lava that was the burn of Katara's rejection was just going everywhere and making a mess of Aang's feelings.

 _Yikes,_ this was awkward and embarrassing for everyone concerned. Sokka had no idea how to fix it. Suki was better at this stuff and she was meant to arrive tomorrow. Maybe they could all just stand here, frozen by their own awkwardness, until Suki came along to solve this lava-feelings mess. But Sokka knew they couldn't just wait around for Suki.

No, sadly, it had fallen to his lot to sort out other people's feelings _again._

He pulled Aang on Appa, gave his sister a quick hug and whispered that he'd talk to their small friend, and then urged Appa to take off.

"Aang, what were you thinking?" Sokka started, whacking him upside his bald head as they flew away.

"I thought if I told her how I feel, she'd want to be my girlfriend. The guys in prison at Chin said if you tell a girl how you feel, and you're the Avatar, she'll be your girlfriend."

Wow, that was a lot to be getting on with _._ Sokka didn't even know where to start.

"Aang, don't take love advice from dudes in prison!" Sokka scolded, starting in the obvious place. "This boyfriend/girlfriend stuff isn't as simple as telling someone how you feel and then, _poof,_ they're your girlfriend."

"Why not?"

"Well, have you missed the bit where Katara already has a boyfriend? She's going out with Zuko."

Aang was such a young kid. He'd been raised by celibate monks who only 'mated' twice a year – of course all this boyfriend/girlfriend stuff was going to throw him. Aang didn't understand that just because Katara loved him, didn't mean she wanted to _be in love_ with him. Aang didn't know it wasn't cool to hit on a girl when she wouldn't welcome it and already had a boyfriend.

Sokka thought it would be easier to explain about Katara already having a boyfriend (because it was obvious and Aang could see it with his own two eyes), than to explain to Aang that while Katara loved Aang very much, and sometimes kissed his cheek and forehead and gave him cuddles, she did not love him romantically. She didn't want to play hide-the-sausage with him and never would.

Aang actually looked surprised when Sokka mentioned Zuko being Katara's boyfriend.

"They're not being _subtle_ about it, Aang. It's kinda hard to miss."

Sokka felt frustrated with him, with this whole stupid situation. Sokka had always known no good would come from the cursed circle of moon-eyes.

Both Zuko and Katara had been ridiculously soppy and dramatic about being reunited. And, yeah, Sokka knew that they thought they were being classy and subtle, because they never kissed in front of everyone after that first day in the alley (much to Toph's disappointment). But they were always looking at each other, or holding hands, or sitting next to each other, and being so close they may as well have been snuggling.

"They've been doing this." Sokka held up both his hands, like they were puppets, to demonstrate. "Oh, I'm a moping avalanche of feelings and you are my sunshine. You give me the soppy-squishies." He made one hand 'speak' with an overly high, girlish voice.

Sokka moved his other hand and lowered his voice to make it extra deep and extra grumpy. "Well, I'm a grumpy volcano of emotions and my heart burns for you. You're my snowflake."

"Oh baby, you're so hot. Let me kiss your grumpies better," the high girlish voice hand replied.

"Okay," the grumpy hand acquiesced.

Sokka made his two hand puppets kiss. He made some disgusting kissing sound effects for good measure as he smushed them together.

"Stop that," Aang said after a long moment, sounding a little grossed out. He turned away from Sokka's little puppet show and looked out at the horizon sadly.

"Look, Aang, Katara _loves_ you, but it's not in a romantic way, okay? She loves you like family. She's not going to want to be your girlfriend any time soon. Not with Zuko in the picture."

"Well, what should I do?" Aang asked quietly, still not looking at Sokka.

Poor Aang couldn't help feeling how he felt. It made sense too. Katara was probably the first girl he'd ever seen, and she was nice to him. Of course he'd grow a little crush. Now Aang just had to figure out how to turn that crush-tap off, but Sokka couldn't help him there. He wasn't a crush-plumber who knew how to turn feelings off. If he was, Sokka wouldn't have been stuck in half as many conversations about feelings as he had.

"Try and get over it, buddy. There's not much else to do."

That was the best advice Sokka could give him. Aang didn't seem satisfied with this.

"Maybe the guru will have some love advice for you," Sokka offered lamely. "You never know."

Maybe this guru would be everything he claimed to be. Maybe he could actually help Aang with all the problems that beset him at the moment. Anything was possible.


	14. The Guru: Part 1

-0-

Guru Pathik talked a lot about emotional muck and swirling pools and made Aang drink even more onion and banana juice before they started trying to unblock the chakras. The first chakra was earth. It was in the base of the spine. (Was it in Aang's butt? He wanted to ask but felt like it would be a rude question.) Guru Pathik said it dealt with survival and got blocked by fear.

Why did they have to start with earth? Aang had never been good at earth stuff right away.

Aang had to meditate on what frightened him, which was a long list. It included: the Avatar State, having to stop Zuko's psychotic father, having to stop a huge, centuries long war on his own, losing Appa, losing any of his friends, being seen as a murderer, Fire Nation bombardments, math tests, Katara not ever loving him back and dying alone like a lonely, unlovable Avatar who didn't even get the girl.

He had to let these fears go and let them "flow down the creek". As Aang did so, he felt his butt chakra opening – it was working!

The next chakra was the water chakra. It dealt with pleasure but got blocked by guilt.

"What do you blame yourself for?" Guru Pathik asked gently.

So much. Aang had run away and his people had been slaughtered. Then Aang hadn't run away; he'd done his Avatar duty and thousands of firebenders had been slaughtered by the Ocean Spirit. He still had bad dreams about it. Aang had almost murdered Zuko and he hadn't even known. He'd lost control at Fong's base and hurt all those people.

Being the Avatar had brought him much misery, and the Avatar State was the worst bit of it. Aang couldn't control it and he felt so guilty whenever he thought about all the people he'd hurt.

"Forgive yourself,"Guru Pathik urged. "No one can change the past, Avatar Aang. It is not possible to go back."

Spirits did Aang know about that.

Aang tried to let it all flow down the creek, so it wasn't clinging to his insides like slimy spiders anymore.

The third chakra was fire, which Aang found even trickier than earth. He never wanted to use firebending again. Guru Pathik said it dealt with willpower and was blocked by shame. He was right about that. Firebending was a source of shame for Aang. The one time he had used firebending, he had burned Katara.

Zuko had been so mad at him for hurting her. (Even though Zuko had tried to be nice about it later. He said he knew Aang wouldn't make the same mistake again. But Zuko had still refused to teach him because he'd hurt Katara ... and Zuko had been so gentle and attentive to Katara afterwards, even though she was fine and had healed herself, and she had smiled at him non-stop and they'd gone to the river together and dinner had been so late that night. What had they been _doing_ in that river?)

Guru Pathik said Aang had to accept that he was a firebender and it was a part of him.

Aang barely heard him. Now he was thinking about _those two_ together and feeling so cross.

He was thinking about the way Katara had spoken about firebending that day with the octopus forms and their huge argument. "Fire-benders are very passionate," she'd said. He was thinking about how she had sighed dreamily as she said firebenders were determined and brave, and they never ran away from a fight or a challenge – like these were qualities she really admired.

Well, Aang could show her fire too! He wouldn't be ashamed of his fire anymore. He could be a firebender just like she wanted! He would be an amazing firebender!

Aang felt a crackle and pop inside him as his fire chakra opened dynamically. The guru was impressed by Aang's progress and his willingness to embrace his inner fire.

They climbed higher into the mountain, drinking more onion and banana juice as they went. Aang was getting used to the taste. It was sour and bitter, but also sickly sweet.

-0-

Katara had a somewhat frustrating afternoon with the generals. They didn't seem to know what to do with her. She was there as a guest of the Earth King and they were trying to be respectful and polite, and she was trying her best to contribute to these huge strategy discussions, but she didn't have that much of use to offer.

She didn't have Sokka's gift for seeing all the angles and coming up with wacky ideas that just happened to work. The generals didn't value her input that much anyway. She was a fifteen-year-old girl with no experience commanding an army. She didn't even know much about the Fire Nation in detail to tell them. Informing them about the Gates of Azulon was her only major contribution of the afternoon.

Zuko was waiting in front of her house when she got home. He "suggested" that she come and have dinner with him and his uncle – in a way that implied it wasn't really a suggestion. Apparently, his uncle had been nagging Zuko the entire afternoon to bring Katara over for dinner so he could meet her properly.

They held hands walking to his new apartment. Katara was struck by how excited she was about something that probably seemed mundane to most people. She was walking hand in hand with her boyfriend in the street. She was finally able to spend time with him properly instead of having to infiltrate a super-secret spy organisation or fight off an army or a spirit monster.

It was nice.

She didn't want to ruin it by talking about what had happened with Aang. It would make her sad and embarrassed. She felt like a bad person, because Aang had looked so heartbroken. She'd always hoped if she ignored Aang's crush and his declaration, it would go away – without any further embarrassment for anyone.

Katara reasoned she could tell Zuko about it later, because she finally knew with certainty that there would be a later. They had _a whole week_ of just the two of them ahead. Their week was starting with a meet-my-only-non-homicidal-family-member dinner. She was feeling a bit nervous about it; however, she was nowhere near as worried as Zuko.

He was nervous about his uncle being _super weird_ around Katara. He was sure embarrassing stories were going to be involved in this evening's proceedings. Katara was secretly delighted at this prospect but acted like she was commiserating with him.

They got to the apartment. It was a little cosy place, behind the teashop. It was nowhere near as spacious as the house the Earth King had given them to stay in (which was probably one of the perks of travelling with the Avatar), but it was neat and tidy. It also looked like Uncle Iroh had purchased half a florist shop. There were so many bouquets around.

He was a bit of an old charmer, Zuko's Uncle Iroh. He told her she was a beautiful as a blooming flower, kissed her hand many times, while Zuko protested and groaned in the background. They sat down to dinner. To Katara's delight, and Zuko's exasperation, many embarrassing stories were served along with the duck. She heard many tales about the adventures Iroh's son, Lu Ten, had when looking after Zuko and Azula. She heard all about Zuko's tendency to abscond and hide as a kid, especially when Azula was 'on form' and he was sick of dealing with her.

"I just didn't like being forced to play with her _all the time,_ but you're making it sound like I spent my entire childhood hiding in the bushes, Uncle!" Zuko grumbled.

Iroh smiled with a twinkle in his eye and said that didn't explain the day when he had the entire palace looking for him for three hours. His cousin had learned the hard way about the perils of playing hide and seek with little Zuko and had come to find his father in a panic. After searching together for _hours,_ Iroh had also become worried. They enlisted many servants to help. Little Zuko had fallen asleep under the shade of the bushes and hadn't heard them calling out.

Katara heard about a time when the whole family had been on holidays and Zuko and Azula had been squabbling. Lu Ten had taken one of his old training shirts and squeezed them into it, one arm out each sleeve, and two heads coming out through the neck hole. He'd tied the sash tight so they were stuck together for the rest of the day. Lu Ten called it their 'get along shirt'.

Katara laughed a great deal at this because the mental image was hilarious, even though she knew spending the day tied to a tiny gremlin Azula would have been rough. Zuko groaned loudly and dramatically, and then he pleaded with any spirits listening to just strike him down and save him from Uncle's embarrassing stories.

"That was a great holiday, wasn't it?" Iroh continued, ignoring Zuko's dramatics. "That was the year you and Lu Ten did the inter-island swim together, if I remember correctly."

The inter-island swim was apparently a big challenge in the Fire Nation. People swam the huge distance between two islands and learnt how to save people from the water. There was a medal at the end, the Island Star. It was where Zuko had learned how to do the _kiss of life._

Apparently, the swim was dangerous. You could only attempt it if you were twelve or older, and even then you had to have an adult from your family do it with you. Lu Ten had snuck Zuko in when he was nine years old, reasoning that Zuko was tall for his age and he'd pass for an older kid, and Lu Ten was seventeen and that was pretty much an adult.

"Your mother was beside herselfwhen she realised where you were. She'd thought he was hiding in the bushes again, you see?" Iroh said in conspiratorial stage-whisper to Katara. "I have never seen a woman simultaneously so completely furious and ridiculously proud as Princess Ursa when Zuko came home with the Island Star. Lu Ten was in so much trouble with her, and there wasn't anything I could do to save him from four days of her lecturing about responsibility.

"Ah, Lu Ten," Iroh said with a little shake of his head. "He never mastered how to talk to an irate person. He just kept making it worse for himself and calmly insisting that he hadn't done anything wrong, because Zuko had made it there and back fine. This only made poor Princess Ursa angrier."

"Lu Ten didn't do anything wrong," Zuko said quietly, defending his cousin's carefree attitude. "He just knew it was important to me. It was going to be our last summer before..." He swallowed, cleared his throat, and gave his uncle a quick glance. "If he hadn't taken me on the inter-island swim then, I never would have learned how to save Sokka in the storm, and then I never would have met Katara, and then we wouldn't be here listening to you tell nothing but really embarrassing stories about me. I did other non-embarrassing stuff as a kid you know, Uncle."

"We'd actually met before you saved Sokka," Katara pointed out. "We met when you attacked my village, then when you attacked Kyoshi Island, then when you dangled my mother's necklace at me in front of pirates."

Zuko groaned and covered his face with his hands.

"I'm just saying, I know plenty of embarrassing stuff about you already," she said with a teasing smile.

"Just kill me now, Ocean Spirit." Zuko implored as he put his head on the table, looking mortified. "Please."

"Would you like to have a moment to go and hide in the bushes, nephew?" Iroh asked with a cheeky glimmer in his eye.

He was looking at his nephew so fondly, like Zuko was a person he really loved, even with his tendency to hide in foliage. It warmed Katara's heart.

"I'd like you both to stop making fun of me," Zuko grumbled, looking up.

"We only tease you because we love you," Katara said with a wide smile, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

He turned to look at her then, and his cheeks were still pink from embarrassment, but his eyes were surprised and delighted. "You do?" he asked softly.

Katara's breath caught in her throat and it felt like there were pentapus dancing in her belly. "I do."

-0-

The fourth chakra was the hardest. It was in the heart and it was blocked by grief.

Aang had so much grief in his little heart that he had never wanted to look at – not because he didn't love the people he held there, but because it was _too much._ He tried not to think of the past and all he had lost because he was worried that if he started, he would just collapse in a heap and never want to move again.

There was a flood of sadness inside Aang.

Guru Pathik asked Aang to meditate on all he had lost, and Aang felt those floodgates open. His eyes welled, and his heart cracked, and his stomach twisted as he laid out all his grief. All his people, Monk Gyatso, Monk Pasang, the feeling Aang got sailing through the air on Appa, surrounded by other air nomads, sky bison, clouds and freedom. Those things were gone forever, and the world would never be the same.

The boy Bumi used to be, one of his closest friends, was gone too and an old crazy king was all that was left in his place.

Kuzon and his family and dancing in the sun on the Barrier Islands were lost to Aang too. They didn't even dance in the Fire Nation any more.

Aang had woken up to a world where everyone and everything was different. In his heart of hearts, there were some days when Aang wanted nothing more than to go back, but he knew time didn't work that way. The world only spun forward. Aang had been trying to accept how things were now, but _oh,_ how his heart ached for the past where he was warm and safe and loved.

Monk Gyatso and all the other Air Nomads started to crumble to dust right before him. Aang felt the howl of misery that was clamouring to get out of him. He couldn't hold it back any longer. He wailed his loss to the sky, and his anguished cries mingled with the dust of his people.

"You have indeed felt a great loss," Guru Pathik's voice said gently, but it still echoed around Aang's vision. "But love is a form of energy. The love the Air Nomads felt for you, the love you felt for them – that love has not left this world. It is still in your heart and reborn in new love."

Guru Pathik's voice was soft and encouraging. It whispered into the empty place in Aang's chest.

Suddenly the dust of the Air Nomads became clouds. Those clouds formed Katara's face.

Aang was making custard with Monk Gyatso and knew the old man would do his best to keep him safe, but then Sokka was in Gyatso's place, talking logically, making Aang laugh, and holding his foot and bringing him gently to the ground.

Bumi's loud, hectic laugh in the mail-chute blended with Toph's persistent, maniacal giggle as she made a really funny joke.

He saw Yue take to the skies on a beautiful glider. Smellerbee and Longshot and Jet were there too, feeding sky bison and squabbling. Suki and Bato were making tarts. The bouncy Fire Nation girl cartwheeled behind them. Zuko's Uncle, Yugoda, Jeong Jeong and Pakku were the monks, sitting around and meditating. They were breathing life into the old temple and learning the wisdom.

Then Aang was in the glass factory with Kuzon, but Kuzon was Zuko. He was saying, "We can work together, and we'll make it better and stronger this time so it doesn't break."

Zuko, who'd defend Aang against anyone, was sitting in an ice-cell with bleeding knuckles saying, "Aang. I'm not sorry. He shouldn't treat you that way."

But he was also Kuzon doing the same thing in the air temple years ago. "I'm on your side, Aang. Anyone gives you crap about being the Avatar, you let me at 'em."

 _We'll always be friends._

"You see, Aang, nothing is lost forever," Guru Pathik said. "You are surrounded by love in this time."

The space in his heart opened. Aang felt it become very full. The feeling was overflowing and coming out of his throat. He was sad. He was full of sadness … and maybe he always would be when he thought of all that he had lost. But he could think on it now without the weight of that grief crushing him.

There would always be sorrow with such a loss, but that didn't mean there couldn't be happiness again. Aang could find happiness, joy and a new family. He could move forward.

The world only spun forward after all.

-0-

"Well, I liked hearing all your uncle's stories," Katara assured him when he started walking her home.

"His stories are mostly about my cousin," Zuko pointed out.

It hadn't escaped his notice that every single one of Uncle's stories also involved Lu Ten. The only time Zuko had really spent with his uncle as a kid was when Lu Ten was around. When Uncle had first come back without Lu Ten, he had been grief-stricken and confused. Uncle would sometimes called him Lu Ten by mistake. It always made Zuko feel weird. Uncle hadn't done it since the Agni Kai had changed Zuko's face so much that he no longer resembled his cousin.

"Yeah, your cousin sounds great," Katara said.

"He was. You would have liked him."

Lu Ten had played the role of perfect, amazing big brother and Zuko had adored him.

"He was a bit like Aang, you know," he continued. "Super cheerful and carefree and just good at everything. He used to greet us by lifting us up by our ankles and spinning with us until someone wanted to vomit."

Zuko clearly remembered those sunlight afternoons when it had been just him, Lu Ten and Azula in the turtle-duck garden.

"Lu Ten was the first one to start teaching me ninjutsu. He said it was so I could 'escape' when he wasn't around. I had no idea what he meant at the time. I just wanted him to always be there." His voice softened. "I still miss him."

Katara squeezed his hand in silent support. She was his girlfriend, and he'd always felt like he could tell her anything. Now he had told her _everything,_ or what he hadn't said, his uncle had blurted out.

"Now you know everything about me," Zuko said with a rueful, hopeless sort of shrug.

She shot him a perplexed look.

"You know I was a dorky, weird, awkward kid who used to hide in the foliage when dealing with my sister got too much, and I always wanted my big cousin to come and save me."

"Yeah, but your sister's a gremlin. I'd hide in the bushes to get away from her too."

He smiled at her then. She accepted him as he was with all his awkward, pathetic pieces.

"I probably wouldn't fall asleep in the bushes and cause a palace-wide panic though," she added with a cheeky grin.

He groaned loudly and dramatically, thinking of all the horrendously mortifying things she now knew about him. She was going to tease him forever, he just knew it.

"Don't be embarrassed. I _like_ knowing these things about you."

The way she was looking at him felt like the first rays of sunshine on his face after a long storm season. She teased him because she loved him. That was something she'd actually said. Zuko had double-checked to make sure he'd heard right. But it was true.

"Don't worry," she said cajolingly, still trying to cheer him up. "I'm sure you'll be able to get your own back, because my dad will tell you plenty of embarrassing stories about me when you meet him."

Koh's balls! One day he was going to have to meet Katara's dad. A roll of dread washed through him.

"Agni, I'm going to lose out on the meet-the-family thing _twice,_ aren't I?" he commented dryly.

"What do you mean?"

"You meet my uncle and it's super embarrassing for me. And when I meet your dad ... Look, I don't have the best track record meeting men from your tribe – Pakku wanted to lock me in a cannibalistic ice-prison, Bato did lock me in a nun's cell. Maybe I should just tie myself up in advance before dinner. Save your dad the trouble."

"Just don't do that in front of Toph. You know what she's like."

Zuko could almost hear Toph now, laughing her arse off and saying _so kinky_ over and over again.

Bloody Toph.

They got to Katara's door. The house was dark and empty. It seemed cold and a little unwelcoming now that there was no one else there. Katara was clearly hesitant about going in. She'd be completely on her own, and she hated that. She wasn't used to it. But she didn't have to get used to it either.

"I told my uncle I'd walk you home ... but I can come back if you want," he offered quietly, trying not to make a _big deal_ out of it. "I could go home, say goodnight to him so he doesn't worry and wait up. Then I can jump out my window and come back and stay with you...if you like."

"Okay. I'd like that."

-0-

The fifth chakra was blocked by lies. Aang had told a lot of little white lies in his day, and he never thought they were blocking up his chakra. But this charka was about the biggest lie he'd told himself: _I'm just a normal kid._ He wasn't a normal kid anymore and he never would be again. Aang had to concentrate on the truth. He was the Avatar. He had to stop lying to himself about what that really meant. He had to accept the reality of his responsibilities and his situation.

Sixth was the light chakra. It was for insight and was blocked by illusion.

"The greatest illusion of this world is the illusion of separation," Guru Pathik explained. "Things you think are separate and different are actually the same. We are all one people, we are all connected."

The illusion of separation – the barriers between the nations fell away and there were only people left. Good people. Bad people. People with more in common than they realised. The war was being fought because the Fire Nation thought it was better than everyone else, but they wanted their sons and daughters to come home just as much as anyone in the Earth Kingdom. They mourned when their loved ones didn't make it back. Aang saw how meaningless the divides and barriers people threw up between themselves and others really were. Everyone loved those closest to their hearts. Everyone breathed the same air. Everyone looked up at the same sky. Everything was connected.

The chakra opened like a peaceful breeze flowing through a window.

Only one more to go.

-0-

Katara was blushing furiously. There was a boy in her bedroom. He tried to go to another room, because he was shy and got awkward about this stuff.

"I just came over to keep you company...we don't have to...you know...do anything...we don't have to do anything you don't want."

He was nervous. So was she.

"Bugger it," he muttered. "I'll just go sleep in Aang's room, okay?"

"No!" Katara reached for his hand.

He went still and was looking down at her with this strange mix of adoration and confusion. They had spent so long being apart. She just wanted to be with him. She felt her way up to his shoulders and then traced her hands into the centre of his chest. His heart was beating really fast, like a drumbeat underneath her palm.

"Stay."

"Okay."

-0-

Hakoda felt like he was so proud of Sokka his heart was going to burst. His son, his beautiful, brave son had grown up so much since he'd last seen him. Sokka stood taller now and seemed more self-assured. His fighting skills had improved dramatically, though he had a few moves that Hakoda had only seen Fire Nation troops use. Hakoda questioned him about these.

Sokka froze. He looked at Hakoda nervously before he drew a deep breath and stood a little straighter. "I know Bato told you about us travelling with Zuko of the Fire Nation. I learned from him."

Bato had told him about that. He'd told Hakoda everything that happened at the abbey. It gave Hakoda no end of nightmares, the idea of his children travelling with a firebender. But now Sokka's tone gave no indication that he had been afraid of the other boy. Instead, it sounded warm and fond, like this Zuko was someone Sokka had liked and respected. That made Hakoda careful of his next words.

"Well done for learning so quickly then."

He knew they would have only been travelling together a few weeks. Bato had made sure of that when he'd protected Hakoda's children. Sokka must have been a close study to have learned so much in a short space of time.

"It was wise of you to watch him so closely and learn what you could from that difficult situation," Hakoda said. "Knowing some Fire Nation fighting techniques will certainly be an advantage."

"I didn't learn from watching him. He taught me."

"Oh."

Bato had been very concerned that the children seemed to be friends with a firebender. Hakoda had dismissed his fears. He thought both his children had better sense than to have anything to do with firebenders, much less feel any kind of affection for them. His family knew better than anyone in their village how dangerous firebenders were.

But now Hakoda saw Sokka was not quite defensive but clearly willing to go on the defensive for the sake of the firebender boy. And they'd been teaching each other. That implied friendship. Bato had been right.

But Hakoda didn't want to harangue Sokka about this, not now. Sokka was going to be with him for a whole week, and Hakoda was more than delighted to have his son with him. So, a firebender had taught him a few fighting moves – well, Hakoda was going to teach Sokka so much more in a week.

He could talk to Sokka about his worries later. Hakoda would hear Sokka's side in full before he passed any judgement. Hakoda trusted his son. Sokka had sound judgement and a brilliant mind. Sokka was nobody's fool. Hakoda was sure Sokka could make him understand what had happened. But now wasn't the time for that.

The Fire Nation ship they planned on ambushing was coming into range. He turned back to his men and commanded them to the boats. Sokka hesitated, clearly uncertain if the invitation extended to him.

"Didn't you hear me, Sokka? I said the rest of you _men,_ " Hakoda said with a huge proud smile, happy to be able to include him.

Sokka smiled widely back at him.

-0-

They'd been kissing. Kissing had led to touching. Touching had led to trying to be as close as two people could be. It had felt amazing. Katara was feeling surprisingly bold and daring. There was a fire building in her belly and a wave cresting inside her. She wanted _more._ Well, she wasn't sure exactly what she wanted, she just wanted more of it.

Katara could feel how much Zuko desired her too. It was poking up between them, kinda hard to ignore. She reached down between them out of curiosity. She'd never touched one before. He gasped and swore and arched his back underneath her. She was worried she'd hurt him. He assured her she hadn't (most emphatically).

The moment was ruined now. Katara was embarrassed. She blushed and started babbling nervously. Then Zuko flushed crimson, she could see it even in the darkness, and babbled awkwardly.

Now they were both just blathering at each other about how it was okay, and they didn't need to, unless the other person really wanted to, and then…Katara said she wasn't ready and Zuko had said okay.

Silence descended.

Katara wasn't sure if she was ready for _that._ She wanted to, but it was meant to hurt, and it was meant to change you and it was something you couldn't take back. You were only meant to _do that_ with your husband.

She wondered what it would be like to be married to Zuko. She could have this every night if he was her husband. She'd take such good care of him. They could take care of each other. He was still thinner than he used to be, all angular lines and gangly limbs now. If they were married, they'd cook together every night. She'd get Yugoda's ocean trout recipe. He liked that. Then he'd help her with the dishes without her having to ask. They'd cuddle up like this and she'd never feel cold even if there was a blizzard outside.

"How about we just sleep?" Zuko suggested.

Katara agreed willingly.

After a few more moments of awkward silence, he kissed her forehead and whispered "goodnight". Then he rolled over and actually fell asleep! Katara had wanted to talk to him about this more. She half-entertained the idea of poking him awake. But she'd never. She let him rest.

In sleep, Zuko looked more relaxed than she'd ever seen him. All the tension had fallen from his face, all his troubles faded away, and his walls dropped. No one else got to see him like this, all soft and vulnerable and open. The moon was nearly full. It made Katara feel more awake and alert. She watched Zuko sleeping peacefully next to her and felt an overwhelming feeling of rightness and contentment settle in her stomach. This was how it should be.

"Stay with me forever, okay?" she whispered as she settled in next to him, tucking her body next to his and feeling his warmth.

-0-

Notes:

Enormous and wonderful thanks to Boogum! She is a gorgeous beta-ninja.

The Guru ended up being super duper long, so we've cut it into two parts. Thank you everyone who leaves feedback and comments on the last few chapters! Sorry for my lack of replies – but I have loved reading all your thoughts. They make my day

Rambling follows:

So there seems to be a misunderstanding in certain sectors of the ATLA fandom who seem to think that Zuko and Katara would be all rah-rah-rah, drama-drama-drama and non-stop fighting then making up. I see it differently. Look at how they both are in interpersonal relationships. They both value harmony in relationships and spend a good deal of their energy trying to please and take care of others. While Katara shows this to most other people, we get to see how Zuko is with girls when he is with Mai and Jin. In both cases, he really tries to make the girls happy (with varying degrees of success).

I think they both have acts of service as their pre-dominant love language, which is nice because then they can give to each other and life each other up. (I think Zuko's secondary love language would be quality time and Katara's would either be words of affirmation or touch, but I am open to everyone else's thoughts on this.)

I also think both of them clearly value domesticity and simple things. I honestly think simple things like being able to hold hands and have dinner together would be amazing for these two. I couldn't see them actively seeking out endless drama for themselves. Drama is already thrust upon them enough. I actually see them as both perceiving the relationship as a sort of refuge from their troubles. The other person is their 'safe space', so to speak. When left to their own devices, they'd just mostly want to snuggle and be together simply.

But they are still young, and one of them is Zuko, so obviously when they try and become more intimate, it gets awkward. Zuko was suggesting sleep and then rolling over and pretending to sleep as his way of escaping the awkward as well as out of genuine tiredness.

Aang, ah Aang. He is trying his hardest to work through his chakras. He's a good boy, who wants to save the world. But he has been through so much. I wanted him to start to come to terms with his grief, rather than slap a katara-band-aid on it. It's hard and sad, but it will lead him to a healthier place.

At its core, Aang's unhealthy jealous and entitlement with regard to Katara is because the story frames it as "Katara's love is enough to replace an entire people – and Aang needs love." I agree that Aang needs love, but there is no way one girl can love him enough to make up for the loss of his whole people. She is his family, his mother figure, not his lover. However, Aang clings to his crush on her because he associates care with love. He doesn't differentiate between a maternal and a romantic bond – and that tells us everything. Before he opens the fourth chakra, he has another little jealous moment, because these are all new emotions for him.

I will always have a huge issue with how the show handled Katara and Aang– not only for what was done to Katara's character but for the damage done to Aang. Why does Aang never get to grieve and heal? _Oh, you lost all your people. never mind, here's this girl to magically make it all better._ How is that remotely healthy for either of them? So while the show only had the Air Nomad's love turning into Katara's face, I wanted to show that Aang has a much bigger support network than just one girl. So Zuko and Sokka and Toph appear to him as well as an assortment of others.

Azula enters from stage left in part two. Til then lovelies.


	15. The Guru: Part 2

-0-

Zuko woke up with the sun. The early dawn light was coming into the room, illuminating his predicament. Katara was still sound asleep, her head on his chest and one arm slung over him. He didn't want to wake her, but he also really had to go before his uncle realised he was gone. He fidgeted a little and she made a cute snuffling noise. She was really pretty in the soft, dawn light. She looked peaceful when she slept, like she was having a good dream.

 _No, don't just watch her sleep – that's creepy!_

He didn't want to wake her when she was sleeping so soundly. Maybe he could wait until she woke up.

No, scratch that.

He could be here for ages, because she and Sokka were both late sleepers, and Uncle would definitely catch on.

Maybe he could write a note – a more detailed note than what Sokka had left Uncle, obviously.

No, that was bad.

He should definitely tell her he was going and not just 'take off', because that would make Katara sad. She'd want him to tell her goodbye properly in person. He gave her shoulder a little shake.

She made some grumbly noises and opened one eye. "Wass time?"

"Sunrise. I have to go so I'm back in my room before my uncle notices I'm not there."

"No, stay." She snuggled closer.

"I have to go to work."

"Still can't believe you have a job."

"What?" Zuko sat upright, and Katara slid off his chest from the sudden movement. "I'm not some useless, garbage-fire-filled lumpfish who can't hold down a job. I'm not like Jet, you know!"

Jet was the un-hireable human disaster, not him.

"No. You're not." She sounded amused, more awake after his outburst. She reached over and mussed his hair affectionately, giving him a lazy smile. "Didn't mean it that way. Don't be grumpy. Just…you're royalty, and now you're serving tea. Do you ever miss it? Living in a fancy palace and having people bring you tea."

Yes. Every day.

No. He could not imagine going back to that lonely, cooped-up, nerve-wracking life.

It was too early in the morning for this kind of conversation. She was half asleep anyway. He gave her a little kiss and tried to deflect her question. "I miss being able to eat Home Island Barbecue whenever I want."

It wasn't a proper answer, but he didn't want to get into all his messy, complicated feelings about his life twisting and turning so much. Especially not a few moments past dawn after such an amazing night. Last night had been special, and he didn't want to ruin it by thinking about his old life and all that he had lost.

He certainly didn't want to entertain the even more peculiar, horrible, traitorous feeling of relief. He never had to go back. He'd never again spend his days walking on eggshells and trying to avoid making his father angry.

This city was a huge, elaborate prison, but he felt freer here than he ever had as a prince. It was disgraceful to think this, because he had a responsibility to his people. He wanted to go back and save his nation from his father and his sister's cruelty and lead them well. He always would. It was his duty. But it was impossible for him to go home, and sometimes he didn't think that was a bad thing. He had been trying to let his feelings of guilt go.

"Be serious," she said, sitting up now and looking at him strangely. "I really want to know."

"Being royal wasn't all that great. I was drilled from a young age about all the things I'd have to do when I grew up. Working in a teashop is much easier. There's not much I can screw up."

"Your dad..." Her expression got angry and her hands squeezed the bedsheets hard. She thought it was his father who'd made him work so hard as a kid.

"It was actually my mother," he said softly.

Her expression changed to one of surprise.

"She wanted us, me and Azula, to be better 'custodians' of the Fire Nation and take better care of the people. She wanted us to feed the hungry, heal the sick, fill the potholes in the roads. She thought we should be _more organised_ and _less homicidal_ , that kind of thing."

"Smart lady."

He smiled, glad she seemed to understand. He wasn't angry at his mother for any of it. He had loved her for it. She had wanted him to be a good person and a good leader, and he had tried his best to make her proud. Maybe she had spent more time teaching him, because he had listened to her when Azula wouldn't. It had made him feel special, though, whenever his mother tried to teach him about big grown-up things and his responsibilities.

"I've got to go now," he said, leaning over to give Katara a quick kiss before standing up. "I'll see you later."

"Okay. Maybe I'll swing by the teashop for lunch – and see if I can distract you at work," she said with a smile before settling back down to sleep.

It sounded like a threat and a promise all in one.

Streets were empty as Zuko made his way home. It was still ridiculously early. Ba Sing Se didn't really get started until a few hours after sunrise. He found the teashop and snuck around the back, climbing into his window as silently as possible.

"Welcome home."

His uncle was sitting in a chair, waiting for him with a cup of tea in his hand and a shrewd expression on his face,

Damnit!

-0-

Iroh had woken up to find Zuko missing. After the initial flurry of panic, he'd realised the window had been slightly ajar all night. He'd looked down and saw broken branches in the bushes that grew under Zuko's window and footprints in the dirt. Zuko had obviously landed there when he jumped out.

He'd snuck out!

Iroh hoped Zuko had done it for a normal teenage reason (a girl) rather than a juvenile delinquent reason (masked vigilantism). Iroh had made tea, pulled up a chair, and waited. If had Zuko snuck out, it was only a matter of time before he snuck back.

Not long after sunrise, he'd seen his nephew shimmy over the window ledge. Iroh took a perverse pleasure in surprising him. Zuko yelped and tumbled to the floor when Iroh spoke. He landed in a graceless heap and looked at his uncle with wide eyes, clearly startled at being caught sneaking back in.

Zuko spluttered some excuses about going out for a really, really, early morning walk and sneaking back in because he didn't want to wake his uncle. Iroh smiled benignly. Zuko had never been a very good liar, and this was no exception.

Iroh took in his blush, his rumpled clothes (the same ones from last night), and the fact that his hair looked, if possible, even messier than it usually did. "Zuko, that's not fooling anyone. I know you snuck out and spent the night with Miss Katara."

"But _how_ do you know?" Zuko asked, completely giving the game away.

It had been for a girl!

Iroh tried to hide his delight, because they needed to have a very serious conversation. Being too enthusiastic about his nephew's relationship with his girlfriend would undercut that message. Still, when the beautiful Katara had implied that she loved Zuko last night, Iroh had been beside himself with happiness.

"I just know these things," he said enigmatically. "Come have some tea with me in the kitchen."

When his nephew was seated at the table with a cup of calming tea, Iroh began his lecture. Zuko was sixteen, and though Iroh knew that boys that age fancied themselves all grown up, it was still a little young to be engaging in _intimate acts._ However, since it had already happened, Iroh would like to impart some wisdom regarding _intimate relations_. Listening to this wisdom was compulsory, not optional. There was no escape from this conversation, not matter how much Zuko protested.

"We didn't do anything! We mostly just slept together. I mean sleeping slept, not the other one."

It was the word _mostly_ that worried Iroh. He had so much advice to give a belligerent Zuko. Iroh knew so much about romance and how to make a woman feel special while avoiding consequences nine months later.

"Uncle, how do I make this conversation stop?"

"Zuko, you have lied to me and you have been sneaking around to be with a girl behind my back," Uncle rumbled. "It is my duty as your uncle to make sure you are fully informed."

Iroh dropped some pure pearls of wisdom on him. Zuko looked mortified and embarrassed and occasionally disgusted, but he stayed and he listened.

Iroh gave the following wisdom: always keep your nails trimmed, always make sure the lady is enjoying herself, and ways to make sure the lady has enjoyed herself. If a lady makes sure you enjoy yourself in a certain way, it is only good manners to reciprocate in the same manner. There is more than one way to enjoy yourself, both alone and with a special friend. And, finally, always leave your cloths in a pile. (The stories associated with this pearl of wisdom made Zuko say " _Uncle!"_ repeatedly and very loudly with a very scandalised face.)

At some point during the speech (probably the bit about always reciprocating oral sex), Zuko put his head on the table in resignation and stopped protesting. He appeared content to let the speech wash over him. Iroh knew he was still listening, because sometimes he would swear in response to a particular pearl of wisdom or say something like, "Gross, Uncle. I didn't need to know that about you."

Iroh finished his speech and sat in the chair opposite, watching his nephew for a few minutes. Zuko eventually lifted his head and asked, "Is it over?" with trepidation. It was the same tone of voice Iroh had heard used after earthquakes.

"It is over," Iroh replied mildly.

"You don't have any more wisdom for me?"

"I will always have more wisdom for you."

Zuko blanched.

Iroh hadn't meant it as a threat. Maybe he had laid the wisdom on too thick here. He was very conscious of the fact that his time with Zuko might be more limited than he originally anticipated. Toph Bei Fong had a point. Iroh wanted to cram as much wisdom as he could into the time he had left with his nephew. But he had overdone it this morning.

Instead of more proverbs, Iroh put a bowl in front of Zuko and squeezed his shoulder. "Eat your breakfast. We have a big day ahead of us. It really is time we got this teashop ready to open."

-0-

Toph listened to those two numbskulls bickering. She tried to figure out a way out of this stupid situation. She couldn't believe those two idiots had gotten the jump on her. It was humiliating.

"Not even you can bend metal!" one of the numbskulls teased.

A wicked smile graced her lips. Whenever someone told her she couldn't do something, she always tried her best to prove them wrong.

They thought she couldn't bend metal?

She'd see about that!

-0-

Katara had gotten her orders from the Council of Five to take to the Earth King, but she had stopped at the teashop on her way. Iroh had been extremely attentive and had kissed her hand a whole bunch again, something which always made Zuko groan in embarrassment.

"Uncle, stop," he'd pleaded. "You're making it weird again."

They'd set her up on one of their nicest tables, with a view over the courtyard. Iroh had specially brewed three teas for her. He wanted to know which one her favourite was. She told herself she was just going to have a quick drink and arrange a time and a place to meet up with Zuko tonight (he'd wait for her at her house when he finished work) before going to the Earth King. Then she'd heard them. Girls. Silly, upper-class, Earth Kingdom girls.

"He's so yummy," one girl said. "I think I'm going to ask Daddy to buy him for me and have him serve me at home. We'll find out what he's paid here and Daddy will pay him double."

"No, Star. Don't be greedy! His hotness should be shared."

Star? They were the same girls who had hurt Toph's feelings that day after the spa. Katara had her back to them. They didn't seem to recognise her. They were too busy tittering and giggling about her boyfriend!

Star wanted to keep him? _Well, tough luck, you flibbertigibbet! He belongs to me, so there!_ Katara thought possessively.

She knew she shouldn't be eavesdropping, but she was both incredibly outraged and very curious.

"I think we should come here every day. I, for one, really appreciate _the view."_

There was some giggling.

"Me oh my, that boy is fine. He can _fill my cup_ any time."

Even more giggling.

"It's his big hands that get me. He's a peasant. I bet he's really _good with his hands_."

The girls erupted with laughter.

"It's the scar for me. It makes him look dangerous, like he'd be a bit rough around the edges. I bet he's a rebellious bad boy under that tea-serving uniform too."

What? Now Katara was just offended on Zuko's behalf. They talked about his scar so flippantly. Zuko hated people thinking he was dangerous or mean just because of his scar. He wasn't even a _bad boy_ , whatever that was meant to imply. Katara wanted to go over there and tell them not to make assumptions about people based on how they look. Zuko was smart and kind and brave. He was a good person. They didn't _know_ him.

The giggling girls started making comments about what else would be _under_ his tea-serving uniform, and Katara had a very immature reaction to this situation. She'd splashed them with their own tea and then frozen it solid. Twice. It was petty and juvenile but so satisfying.

"Katara?" Zuko was suddenly standing next to her, good eyebrow raised in curiosity. "Can I see you in the storeroom?"

He gestured for her to follow him, and Katara glanced around behind her as she walked. The giggling girls were all shamelessly looking at his butt, but they pretended they weren't when they caught her stare. She could tell the moment they recognised her, because they all edged back a little. Katara made her _I've-got-my-eyes-on-you_ gesture towards them before following Zuko into the storeroom.

"So, I'm remaking the tea for table eighteen for the third time today. Their tea keeps flying out of their cups, splashing them and then freezing."

"Yeah. It's weird how that keeps happening." Katara shrugged nonchalantly.

"Katara, why are you splashing them and freezing their tea?"

"What makes you think it's me?"

Zuko looked incredulous for a second. "You're the only waterbender here, Splasher."

"Those girls were making stupid comments about you. They were being _very inappropriate,_ " she said, even if it did make her feel like a fussy, prudish, ninety year old.

"I just pretend I can't hear them and try not to let it bother me."

"Well, it bothers me! They all want to date you."

They wanted to do a lot more than date him, but Katara couldn't bring herself to say the _f word._ Worse, Zuko had probably heard what they were saying, and she knew what happened now. She was dreading it. He was going to get a massive big-head and be insufferable. It was what always happened.

She didn't want him to change like the way Sokka and Aang did when there was a crowd of girls around, fawning over them. She thought of Sokka and his poetry girls, and Aang and the girls in Kyoshi Island, and grimaced.

"What – you think I _want_ one of those ninnies?"

She was surprised by this reaction. He misinterpreted her surprise.

"Wait, is calling them ninnies sexist? Jeez, now I'm being sexist, aren't I?" He ran his hands through his hair. "Shit. I didn't mean it in a sexist way. Err, I meant why would you think I'd be interested in one of those _fine young women_ who just aren't my type?"

"What is your type?"

"Just you. You're the only one who is my type. I only want you."

Katara liked that answer. It made her stomach feel squishy. She pulled him down into a kiss. Their lips met hungrily. He tasted a little like ginseng. He'd probably been sampling some of the teas behind the counter. They broke apart and he leaned his head against hers. There was the pleasant smell of tea and the words he'd just said still lingering in the air.

She liked knowing she was the only one he wanted. He was the only one she wanted. It was nice that they were on the same page about this.

"Why would you even think I'd want one of them, anyway?" he asked, interrupting her thoughts. "I'm not that shallow, you know!"

It seemed foolish to say that she had assumed he would suddenly become an egotistical jerk just because a table of ninnies were giggling about how hot he was, but prior experience had driven her thoughts. "Aang loves all that attention," she explained. "It goes straight to his head and he ditches us and acts like a bit of a jerk. Sokka too. All boys like it when girls get...like that about them."

"Well, I don't. I hate it. It makes me uncomfortable." He crossed his arms defensively. It made sense. He had always been shy about girls. He still got shy with her sometimes. "I'm just serving them because it's my job. If you don't want me to go over there again, you've got to stop freezing their tea, because then I have to make them a new pot on the house and go over to their table even more."

He was sassing her.

"I got jealous, okay?" she confessed, feeling ashamed.

"Really?" He uncrossed his arms and smiled like he thought she'd said something marvellous.

This was weird. Was this another cultural thing? Did the Fire Nation think jealousy was an acceptable way of showing affection? Jealousy wasn't good. When you lived in a communal setting, like the Southern Water Tribe, you couldn't get jealous of what your neighbour had, because most resources were shared and because jealousy would plant resentment in your soul. Resentment plants grew useless, unhappy fruit.

In the south, they'd always had to be happy with what they had. Gran Gran always said to never invite jealousy into your heart because it was a green-eyed spirit monster, like Koh the Face Stealer. Katara had been so ashamedof feeling jealous over how easily waterbending came to Aang.

 _"Never be with a man who gets jealous when you talk to other men,"_ Gran Gran had warned when Katara first had her moon time.

They'd had to have a big, mortifying and embarrassing talk about sex in lurid detail. She'd found out more about Gran Gran than she'd ever wanted to know that day.

 _Eeewwwww. Some of those stories would have been about her and Pakku,_ Katara realised belatedly.

She shook that horrifying thought away and looked back at Zuko. She'd been getting jealous because he'd been talking to other girls. She was like the man in Gran Gran's stories, and it had made her feel bad. But he was acting like it wasn't a big deal.

"You're not angry with me about being jealous?" she asked.

"The first time Jet said anything about you two being together, I broke six pineapples on his idiot head and ended up in the clink for street fighting, so I'm hardly going to judge you for freezing some tea."

"You were jealous of me and Jet?"

"So jealous. I hated the way he talked about you. Fucking Jet. What did you even see in that hedgehog-fucking, human garbage fire?"

There was definitely some judgement in his voice now.

"Isn't it... _embarrassing_ for you to admit that?" she fired back tartly. Feeling jealous should be embarrassing, shouldn't it?

"You just admitted to splashing the ninnies and freezing their tea, twice, because you were jealous."

Katara decided to stop there. She wanted to leave on a high note and not be dragged into the _who-is-more-jealous_ swamp of a conversation. "I'm going now. I'm very busy and important and I have important things to do." She waggled her documents at him.

He made an unimpressed face. "Well, I have to get back to work."

"Good. I have to go see Suki. She arrived last night, and I need to catch up with her."

"Fine."

"Great."

"Aren't you going?"

"Yes," Katara said, leaving the cupboard of squabbles. What even was this conversation now?

"Okay. Err, bye then." Zuko stepped aside and let her exit the cupboard of squabbles.

"Wait, I'll still see you tonight, right?"

She didn't want to be squabbling with him. They could talk tonight when he wasn't at work...and she didn't have documents to deliver...and the memory of Star talking wistfully about the shape of his arse wasn't so fresh.

They had time on their side for once.

Zuko smiled and looked relieved. "I'll see you tonight."

-0-

"Suki, you won't believe what's happened!" the pretty Water Tribe girl called from the other end of the hall, falling for their disguises.

Beside Ty Lee, Azula smirked and nodded almost imperceptibly. The acrobat knew what she had to do. They had discussed what would happen if any of the Avatar's associates showed up.

Ty Lee jumped into the shadows.

The Water Tribe girl rushed towards Mai and Azula. "You were right," she said excitedly. "I did find Zuko in the city. He's in the Upper Ring, working in a teashop, and..."

Ty Lee's heart dropped when the girl mentioned Zuko. There was no way to rewind time and make the girl unsay it. It had happened. Ty Lee didn't want to see anyone hurt. She pushed past the uncertainty and did what Azula had asked. She knew her place. Even though they were friends, she knew better than to disobey the princess.

A few quick jabs were all it took.

The girl gave a startled noise and dropped to the floor in front of Ty Lee. Mai and Azula came to stand around her prone figure.

Azula smiled widely. "Excellent work, Ty Lee."

"Huh?" Mai said in her usual flat tone. "I figured she'd put up more of a fight. This one is boring." She poked the girl's shoulder with her fans disdainfully. "Where's Zuko, peasant?"

The girl looked furious, but she was squeezing her lips shut.

"She doesn't need to tell us," Azula said. "He's in a teashop in the Upper Ring. That's enough information. The Dai Li will find him in no time." She clicked her fingers at one of the agents hidden in the shadows, and he dashed off to do her bidding.

The pretty girl's eyes swivelled towards the princess in alarm. Her arm jerked slightly, like she was trying to fight through the chi block. All this did was release the scroll that had been tucked under her arm. It rolled, slowly and dramatically, towards Azula.

"And what's this? It looks official." Azula practically hummed as she picked it up, broke the seal, and began to read. Her eyes narrowed shrewdly. She tucked the scroll into a pocket and bowed at the girl, Fire Nation style, in a mockery of gratitude. "Thank you, peasant. You have done the Fire Nation a great service this day."

The pretty girl now looked beyond horrified. Her aura clouded.

"Ty Lee, take some Dai Li and escort our guest to the crystal catacombs," Azula commanded and clicked her fingers at two other Dai Li agents.

Ty Lee obeyed instantly. The agents picked the girl up by her shoulders and began following the acrobat. Ty Lee threw a glance over her shoulder at their prisoner. The girl was glaring at her like she hated Ty Lee.

No one had ever _hated_ Ty Lee. It made her uneasy.

"What's your name, pretty girl?" Ty Lee asked, trying to make friendly conversation.

The girl stared at her angrily, lips squeezed shut.

"My name is Ty Lee."

The girl narrowed her eyes to glare with more intensity.

"Sloth-cat got your tongue, eh?"

The girl was still staring at her in a way that Ty Lee found unnerving. She was immobile now, but that didn't mean she wasn't a threat. Ty Lee got the feeling that it would be a big mistake to underestimate this girl just because she was from the Water Tribes.

"The chi blocking will wear off in about twenty minutes," Ty Lee explained, in case the girl was angry about that. She didn't want anyone to be angry at her. "I'm sorry if it hurt you."

The girl stopped glaring and looked surprised. That encouraged Ty Lee.

"We won't treat you badly, you know. The catacombs are pretty. They're full of glowing crystals."

Mai and Azula hadn't cared for how pretty the catacombs were, but Ty Lee had thought they were beautiful.

"You'll be left alone," Ty Lee continued. "Well, depending on how long we keep you. I may come and bring you some food if it's going to be a long time, so you won't be alone when I visit."

"What will happen to Zuko? What's that Gremlin planning to do to him?" the girl asked, looking at Ty Lee intently.

 _Gremlin?_ That had to be Azula.

She looked around, but Azula was probably still back up in the throne room. The two Dai Li were here, silent and creepy as always. They'd tell on herif she took pity on the girl. But unease squirmed in Ty Lee's guts. She wasn't sure if Azula would really hurt Zuko. She told herself the princess was just talking. She thought back to when Azula had told them her strategy...

Azula had reasoned that if Zuko had made "friends" with the Avatar and associates, all they had to do was catch one of them. If they could catch or neutralise the Avatar, even better, but any one of them would do for her purposes. It was a simple plan, really. They'd waggle about their bait and wait.

"Zuko will come to me," Azula had said. "He'd want to save these idiots. Then we'll capture him. There'll be no more running. No more games. Then when Uncle figures out what happened, he'll follow. Those two loose ends will be neatly tied up."

"Are you sure Zuko will come? It's a really obvious trap." Mai had pointed out flatly.

"Please." Azula had dismissed her with a wave of her hand. "He'll come. I know my brother."

Now part one of Azula's plan had fallen into place. Ty Lee squirmed uncomfortably as she looked at the girl they'd use as bait. Ty Lee felt sorryfor the Water Tribe girl, who evidently cared for Zuko. Azula was certain she was going to catch Zuko sooner or later, but the girl had sped up that process. Telling the pretty girl this wouldn't help her aura stop churning and clouding.

 _They must have been really good friends,_ Ty Lee surmised.

She tried to think of something that might help the girl feel better but wouldn't give too much away.

"We're going to take him home."

-0-

Guru Pathik looked at the young boy in front of him, breathing deeply and meditating. Aang was so young. It wasn't right or fair that so much lay on the shoulders of such a child. The fate of the world hung in the balance, and Guru Pathik knew what a heavy burden that would be. He had done his best for the boy and the young Avatar had proven himself to be a willing student.

Young Aang had been so insistent on his need to learn how to control the Avatar State. He never wanted to accidentally slaughter people en-masse the same way that he had in the Northern Water Tribe. He had accomplished much, but the final chakra lay before them still locked. This chakra was the crucial one. Avatar Aang would need help unlocking it and releasing his selfish attachments. He had to embrace selfless love and feel connected to the forces of the universe.

It was a difficult thing to do, especially for a child this young. Children this age could rarely see past what they wanted to the bigger picture. But what a boy wants, especially at the age of twelve, shifts with the breeze. The Avatar couldn't build his life on ever changing whims and fancies.

"Once you have opened this chakra you will be able to go in and out of the Avatar State at will," Guru Pathik said, trying to guide the boy as he meditated. "Your seventh chakra is the source of pure cosmic energy, and it is blocked by earthly attachment. Think on what attaches you to this world..."

The Avatar's face wrinkled in worry and he started talking about a girl who he thought he was in love with. Guru Pathik encouraged him to let her go. Avatar Aang insisted he couldn't, and he loved this girl. He was flightier than the wind and bounced up, ready to run after the girl. He believed she was in danger and he wanted to be the one to save her.

"If you truly loved her Aang, and I mean real love – selfless love – you would want what was best for her. It is for the best that you let her go."

Aang paused, listening to Pathik's words and clearly considering the ramifications of his choice. He looked out to the clouds and the sky in the direction of Ba Sing Se, then back to Guru Pathik, a torn expression on his face.

"Stay with me and master the Avatar State," Guru Pathik said gently.

"But I love Katara more than I want to master the Avatar State. She's in trouble. She needs my help. I've got to go!"

The boy fled.

Guru Pathik yelled after him that if he left now, he wouldn't be able to go into the Avatar State at all.

It wasn't quite true, and shame flooded the Guru for such a lie. He had felt it was necessary. He had felt that the Avatar had enough of a sense of duty to the world that those words would halt him and help him make the right choice.

Avatar Aang would still be able to go into the Avatar State, but it would be much more difficult without a guru to guide him; however, the boy had chosen to learn the hard way. If Guru Pathik could do the conversation again, he would not have mentioned the Avatar State at all. Avatar Aang had conflicted feelings towards it, after all.

Aang's problem seemed to be that he considered _letting go_ to be the same thing as _not loving._ But it was the opposite. Letting go was the ultimate act of love. Guru Pathik wished he could have found some way to make the young Avatar understand.

Selfishly holding on was not love. Love had to be spread, not hoarded. Letting go was love without needing to get anything back in return. Letting go was putting someone else's needs above your own. Letting go was sacrificing your pride, your ego, yourself for the greater good.

Letting go was love in its purest form.

Notes:

Enormous thanks to the wonderful and amazing Boogum for beta-ing both parts of this chapter so quickly. Part 1 and 2 were originally combined into one mega huge chapter, so we split it. But I still wanted to post them close together because they cover the same episode.

Once again, so much thanks to everyone for your kind support. I do love reading all your comments and feedback!

I have some rambly thoughts.

So I think Zuko, with a bit of self-awareness, would have very mixed feelings about going home. The home sickness is still there. Really, it is natural he feels that way. I think he is actually homesick for his idealised memories of beachside holidays with a more complete family (including his mother, Iroh and Lu Ten), not a place that actually exists. This is why he never feels 'home' even when he's in the palace. The palace wasn't what he was missing.

I think with homesickness, there would also be a realistic aversion and dread. He knows what it is like to have healthy relationships and friendships now. He's been able to build a life for himself with his Uncle. He's spent three years without directly experiencing domestic violence and his father's abuse. Just some distance from an abusive situation can give a person amazing clarity and Zuko is much more aware of how messed up and abusive his father/home environment was.

He'd have two conflicting desires. He wants to go home, but he also dreads it.

See Bryke? We don't need that silly two-great-grandfathers (this-mathematics-makes-no-sense-did-one-of-them-have-a-baby-in-their-70s-so-gross) storyline to explain Zuko's inner conflict. Poor boy is conflicted all on his own. Sorry, I really am not keen on the evil-grandfather-good-grandfather, that's why Zuko's conflicted explanation. _Just look_ at the hot mess that is his life. He's conflicted because his life is a mess, not because he had two great grandfathers.

Ah Zuko and Katara have both had awkward conversations with an older person about sex. Who's conversation was more awkward? It's hard to say. I will say Iroh was much more enthusiastic about delivering his wisdom than Gran Gran. But I don't know if this made it better or worse.

Katara feels some jealousy in this chapter. Katara shows jealousy a couple of times in the show, but she's normally feels terrible about it. I think there would be a cultural factor to this, as jealousy would be strongly discouraged in a communal setting. Gran Gran would have also had strong views on jealous/possessive people. But given Katara's abandonment issues and her prior experience with how Sokka and Aang behave around a group of girls, I think it would be natural for Katara to feel possessive about her boyfriend. She wouldn't like a group of girls fawning over him. (Neither does Zuko TBH. He didn't seem to care for his fangirls back in the firenation. I always got the vibe that he was uncomfortable with it so he was ignoring them in the hope that they would go away, rather than oblivious to them).

Anyway, rather than shaming her for jealousy, Zuko would accept it and reassure her he's only into her. Mostly because I want Katara to be able to express negative feelings safely and have those feelings acknowledged. They are each other's safe space, even when they're squabbling in a cupboard.

I think Ty Lee had a functioning moral compass, a complicated fear/friendship with Azula and didn't want to see people hurt. I think she was a genuinely nice person even when she was a 'dangerous lady'. Like Aang, she's a people person who wants to like everyone and for everyone to like her. She wouldn't be comfortable with Katara clearly hating her. She's also very good at reading auras and very astute about people, so she's surmised a few things about Zuko and Katara's relationship – but I think she'd keep it to herself.

Aang. Ah, Aang. He choses to leave the guru again, but he clearly made a choice rather than feeling like 'he had to'. He had options and he picked forever girl over cosmic energy/control of the avatar state. Let's see how that works out for him.

Next chapter, we're heading to the catacombs folks. Buckle up!


	16. Under the city

Zuko leaned against the pillar in front of Katara's house, lost in thought.

" _Stay with me forever, okay,"_ Katara had whispered last night when she'd been all curled up around him and nearly asleep. She wanted him to walk away from his home, his uncle, and everything that had become familiar and start a new life... _again._

Zuko had started again so many times. Before, his world had just crumbled in front of him. There hadn't been anything else to do but keep putting one foot in front of the other.

If he left with her now, it would be because he chose it.

They hadn't talked about it. They had been avoiding the subject, avoiding asking each other _what happens now?_ Zuko knew what she wanted, though, without having to ask. He wanted to make her happy. But he couldn't. He had his uncle here, and they had finally built a comfortable life.

But Zuko had never asked for or wanted this life. He'd felt so trapped and constrained here. If he stayed in the city, he'd have to hide his bending forever and deny a crucial part of himself. He could go with them and firebend every day and teach Aang.

No, he couldn't. That was even beyond super-duper-mega-treason. He couldn't fight his own people. He couldn't turn traitor.

He already was a traitor, at least in the eyes of the Fire Nation.

He just didn't want any more Fire Nation people dying on foreign soil, so far from their home and family and people who loved them. There hadn't been any bloody point to Lu Ten's death and there wasn't any point to this stupid war. He wanted to help Aang stop all the fighting.

 _Just for geography,_ Jeong Jeong had said. They were dying every day, and for what? The world to hate them? The world was right to hate the Fire Nation for what it was doing. The war was wrong. Zuko wanted to save his people from what they had become and save them from having their lives thrown away by heartless generals.

What was so traitorous about that?

Zuko knew he had to decide before the end of the week. Sokka, Aang, Katara and Toph had no reason to stay in the city after everyone got back from their trips. Zuko didn't think he could bear to say goodbye to them again. He knew being without Katara would hurt him deeply, all the way down to his soul. He just wanted to be with her and with his friends. They made him laugh, took care of him when he was sick and vulnerable.

They actually _wanted_ him around.

Uncle had just gotten his tea shop and it was his dream come true. He had asked so little from life. All he wanted was to make tea in peace. Ba Sing Se was the last safe place. They had nowhere else to go. Zuko wanted to stay and take care of his uncle, especially after Uncle had been so good to him. Uncle was his home.

Uncle _needed_ Zuko around.

Maybe he could go with them, just for a little while, then come back to Uncle. It wasn't long until the eclipse. They'd need some help. These idiots didn't know much about the Fire Nation – they hadn't even known about the Gates of Azulon! Aang hadn't even been bloody training, for fuck's sake!

Okay, they needed a lot of help.

Zuko could make sure Aang was as ready as possible. He could teach him the basics in firebending at least. The basics had always served Zuko well. There'd be time enough for that, especially if Aang an _annoyingly fast learner,_ as Katara put it.

Aang needed to know some firebending before he went into the capitol and faced that fucking psychopath Ozai. That much was just bleeding obvious.

Agni, they planned for Aang to face his father. Zuko's stomach lurched in dread.

His father was a monster.

This plan was desperate and stupid, but it was a Sokka plan, so they'd probably stick to it. Maybe he could talk to Sokka. He could help him make a less ridiculous plan.

Zuko had all these thoughts running around and getting mixed up in his head. He really, really wanted to talk to Katara. She'd always listened and understood him. Maybe she could help him make sense of this. He wanted to know what she thought. There was no one's opinion that he valued more than hers. She loved giving her opinion, too. She might even give a speech.

But she was taking her sweet time arriving so she could give him her opinion. At first, Zuko thought the council meeting had run late, but then it got later and later. Katara had said she was coming to meet him – and yeah, they'd had a little squabble – but Zuko didn't think she'd stand him up over something like that.

So he'd waited...and waited...and waited.

He tried to tell himself nothing bad had happened. He tried to comfort himself with the thought that Katara was just mad at him. She was making him wait to get back at him for their weird conversation about jealousy. From the way she was talking, jealousy was a big taboo in the Southern Water Tribe. It was normal in the Fire Nation. Anyone would get jealous if their girlfriend made out with a poofy-haired arsehole.

That was understandable.

Katara wouldn't leave him waiting like this. _She wouldn't._ She wasn't the sort of person to play mind games and test him or trick him. He knew her.

Something had gone wrong.

She'd been on her way to the palace, and something had gone wrong and he'd been waiting here like an idiot for hours.

His worry gave way to dread.

 _Bugger this! I'm going to the palace to investigate!_

Zuko had never been one for sitting around idly waiting and hoping things would work out alright. Things never worked out alright in his experience.

-0-

"There's been a coup. The Dai Li have seized control of the city. They have Katara. We've got to go and save her!"

Zuko burst into their room, waking Iroh with his alarmed ranting, his eyes anxious and wide. He started packing a little bag with some supplies and got his swords from under the bed. Iroh got up groggily. It was ridiculous o'clock in the morning. He had assumed his nephew was having a pleasant night and had decided to stay over with his girlfriend and perhaps put some of Iroh's pearls of wisdom to good use.

But no, it had been masked vigilantism instead.

"How do you know this?" Iroh asked slowly.

"I overheard some Dai Li agents talking near the palace."

"We mustn't rush in," Iroh advised, trying to calm his nephew, to get him to slow down and _think._ "We need to think strategically. A coup like this would require someone very high up pulling the strings. The Dai Li wouldn't attack an associate of the Avatar unless they were sure of their victory. We need to know who is really behind this before we move."

"No. I'm not waiting! Katara's in trouble. I'm going to find her."

"Zuko, wait." Iroh reached out and grabbed his arm blindly to hold him back. "We don't know anything about the palace or this coup or who is behind it. We don't even know where they are keeping Katara. We need more information! Don't run off unprepared. It's _too dangerous!_ "

"I don't care. I love her."

Then that headstrong, impatient boy jerked out of his grip. Zuko jumped out the window into the night without a backwards glance.

-0-

Aang, Sokka and Toph were racing back to Ba Sing Se at lightning speed. Toph had been more than happy when the two idiots picked her up. She'd bragged a lot about inventing metal bending, needing a buttload of praise for this incredible feat. Twinkletoes only gave her half-hearted praise. He had his glider all in a twist about Katara. He thought she was in danger because the Avatar voices in his head told him so. Toph had no patience for this cosmic blah blah.

Sokka had to cut his daddy bonding trip short because of the Avatar voices. Toph knew Sokka would never want anything bad to happen to Katara, but she also knew he was going to be pissed off if his time with his dad had been stomped on for nothing.

"But at least you got to Master the Avatar State, right?" Sokka queried when Aang had spoken at length about spiritual mojo and his vision of Katara.

"Yeah, it went great," Aang said, seeming a bit shamefaced.

Well, Aang was obviously lying. She'd call him out on it when they weren't racing to the rescue.

-0-

Zuko had gotten a little farther than Azula had expected, but not by much. She watched him for a moment to see if he had any other surprises.

He was stealthier than she'd remembered. His left wrist had been injured at some point during his banishment, but it must have been long healed. There was only a slight hesitation. Azula realised she was sizing him up like a combatant, even though she knew she wouldn't be fighting Zuko.

It was over for him.

Dai Li gossiped strategically about holding the Avatar's waterbender captive. Zuko had been caught breaking into the dungeons, taking the bait she'd offered. He was just as stupid and sentimental as she remembered. She had the Dai Li subdue him before she strode forward and revealed herself. She always loved a dramatic entrance. The horrified surprise on his face when he saw her was _so worth it._

"We're not keeping her in the dungeons, dumdum," Azula stated teasingly.

Only an idiot would keep their hostage in the obvious place.

"Azula? You were behind this!"

"Of course." She smiled. She was going to enjoy this. "You should bow before the heir apparent, you know."

She made a little gesture and one of her Dai Li agents hit Zuko just behind the knees, forcing him to the ground, while another pushed him roughly forward in a mockery of a respectful bow. He looked furious but helpless.

"What are you doing here?" he growled.

"Conquering the Earth Kingdom. What does it look like?"

"The Dai Li are with you?" Zuko glanced around at the force of men who had surrounded him.

Had he only just figured that out? _Spirits,_ he really was the family idiot. She was embarrassed to be related to him. How had this person outsmarted her in the desert?

"What can I say? They know true leadership when they see it," she replied in the same light, triumphant tone. "Take him away. I'll deal with him later."

She dismissed the Dai Li with a little wave, and they dragged her brother away. She ignored his indignant shouts. She'd have him locked up in the same place they stashed the waterbender. Uncle would probably check the dungeons first, just like the dumdum. It was the perfect trap.

Azula had hesitated to throw him in with the filthy waterbender – they obviously knew each other. But even if they worked together, there would be nothing they could do. The cave was impenetrable. There was no escaping the crystal cave without an earthbender. They'd think they were all alone and no one was coming to save them...

Zuko might _talk_ to the girl.

Azula could easily station a Dai Li to listen. Zuko had a big mouth and a lot of opinions. He had the incredibly stupid habit of honestly saying what he thought. It had always gotten him into trouble in the past. Azula would see if anything useful came up in the conversation, like perhaps Uncle's location. That would speed up the process of catching the old fool. It would save her waiting for him to turn up.

Dealing with Zuko was simple: you just had to give him enough rope to hang himself with, and he'd do the rest.

-0-

So Zuko's uncle was surprisingly badass, for an old dude. He had a Dai Li agent all tied up for them like a gift-wrapped birthday present. The Dai Li agent seemed quite willing to spill his guts too. Evidently, Zuko's old uncle could be quite _persuasive._ They started talking strategy and Sokka listened closely.

Fire Nation general or not, there was a lot Sokka could learn from this old guy.

-0-

Azula had been behind everything. He'd fallen for it like an idiot!

He was angry at her, but he was angrier at himself. He should have listened to his uncle! Instead, he had blithely walked into his sister's trap. He hadn't been able to help Katara at all. He was going to end up thrown in one of these cells, or worse.

The Dai Li could wash his memories and his personality and _everything he was_ right out of him. Even if Zuko did escape them, he would walk right past Katara and not know her – like that poor man's wife. He'd never be able to help her then. He wouldn't remember her. Zuko couldn't think of anything worse.

He struggled violently with all his might, and temporarily escaped their hold, but it was futile. It was a narrow tunnel, he was already bound, and there were ten of them.

They opened up a little hole in the wall and threw him inside. He tumbled down the steep entrance tunnel and landed with a painful thump in a cavern full of glowing crystals.

"Zuko!"

Katara was there. She ran to him and pulled him into a hug. She buried her face in his shirt. She was crying. She was apologising. She was saying it was her fault he got caught.

He pulled her closer, kissing her temples and murmuring whatever reassuring, comforting things he could. He didn't want her to cry and blame herself because his life was _utter crap_ sometimes. She was the best thing in his life.

"No, it was never your fault," he said. "You know how crappy my luck is. Azula would have caught me sooner or later."

He'd always been on borrowed time once Azula started chasing him. He was just surprised the spirits had let him borrow this much.

He was here. Katara was here. They both hadn't been brainwashed, and they still knew each other. That was something right there. Zuko was endlessly grateful for that.

"At least we're together."

-0-

Aang and Iroh went looking under the city for Katara and Zuko, while Toph and Sokka looked for the Earth King and any of the Council of Five. Aang knew that Iroh was meant to give the best advice.

He turned to the older man, revealed his tale of woe, and asked for wisdom. Iroh looked thoughtful. He told Aang some proverbs and said Aang was wise to choose love.

Iroh got a thoughtful look on his face and said that life could be like a dark tunnel. His voice sounded sad and heavy, like he knew what it felt like to have all the light go out of life. Aang knew that feeling. Opening his fourth charka and facing all that raw grief was still fresh. This old man had loved people deeply and lost them too. Yet he had kept going.

"If you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually you will come to a better place," Iroh said, his voice soft and kind.

Aang smiled at him, his first smile since leaving the guru. He was thinking of Monk Gyatso. Monk Gyatso had given good advice as well. He used to say something similar.

"Monk Gyatso used to say that everything works out alright in the end. So if it's not alright, it's not the end," Aang supplied.

"He sounds like a wise man."

-0-

Zuko hated being deep underground. He missed the sky and the open air above him. The warmth of the sun had never felt farther away. Sunrise was a long way off.

They'd tried everything to escape. Zuko had even tried lightning bending. It had only made a massive explosion that had thrown him against the far wall. The impact left him feeling bruised all over. It had panicked Katara endlessly. She'd healed all the bruises while simultaneously kissing him all over his face and haranguing him to never try that again.

They started making out in earnest, taking some comfort in each other, because they were out of other options. They had been around the perimeter several times. The walls, ceiling and floor were all impenetrable aside from earthbending.

"We can still find a way out," Katara said firmly.

Zuko knew she needed to say things like this. Being optimistic helped her stay calm. He wasn't going to ruin it for her by ranting about how royally screwed they were.

"We can search the perimeter again," he offered.

And they did.

It was still hopeless.

Zuko couldn't pretend any longer. He slumped against the wall. Katara came and sat next to him. She put her head on his shoulder and took his hand in a silent show of commiseration. She knew too. She was just better at faking optimism. But they didn't need to be fake with each other about this.

"This is bad," he said.

"I know, but I'm trying to be brave. Whenever I get scared, rubbing this helps." She rubbed her necklace between her fingers before offering it to him.

Zuko gave the pendant a little rub between his fingertips and handed it back to her solemnly.

"I think of my mum and how brave she was, and it helps me," Katara explained.

"Thinking of my mum doesn't help me. If I die here, I'll never know what happened to her. I always hoped I'd find out _for real_ one day."

She didn't get angry at him for mentioning the possibility of dying. She'd always gotten furious about that up north. Instead, she snuggled closer to him, tucking herself into his lap so they were as close as two people could be.

"You really have no idea what happened to her?" she asked softly.

"As a kid, I used to try believe my dad. He said she'd run away because she didn't love us anymore."

"That's awful!"

"It's better than the alternative. If she'd really run away, she'd still be alive."

Katara looked at him quizzically, waiting to see if he would elaborate, but she didn't push him.

"I think my dad murdered her," he confessed with a heavy finality. "I think that's what really happened. I don't expect her to just turn up any more, saying, _'Sorry for leaving, I love you again.'_ I just hope it was quick for her."

He swallowed the bitter lemon taste in the back of his throat, hating how his voice cracked. Still, he felt better to finally admit it to another living person, to share that heavy weight pressing on his heart. Zuko had realised his father wasn't just a horrible dad, he was a murdering arsehole who had killed Mum – or arranged for her to be killed. That's what they meant by "disappear" in the capitol.

"Oh, Zuko," Katara said, holding him close. "I'm so sorry."

She wasn't laughing at him or telling him he was stupid or weak or wrong or paranoid. She moved again so she was sitting astride his lap. She pulled his head into the crook of her neck and started carding her fingers through his hair the way he liked.

"She wouldn't have left us," he whispered to her collarbone. "I know that for sure. Maybe I'll never know how she died, but I know she loved us."

"Of course she did. Who wouldn't love you?"

 _My own father,_ Zuko thought acidly, even though he knew Katara had meant it as a rhetorical question.

"Azula believed Dad. She used to say that Mum didn't love her. I think it's worse for her. After Mum vanished, she'd get so angry at me all the time. She thought I was lying when I said I had no idea where she was."

Now that he had started talking about his mother and everything that had happened, it was like a dam had burst inside him. He just wanted Katara to know everything. He wanted to tell her all the things he had been holding inside that had been eating at him for seven years.

"Why did she think you knew?"

"Azula thought I was Mum's favourite, because Mum didn't scold me as much. I always tried to be good, mind my manners, listen to my teachers, not threaten to set people on fire – you know, that kind of thing."

"Your sister used to threaten to set people on fire?" She moved back a little so she could see his face, her hands cupping his jaw delicately. Her eyes narrowed in concern.

"All the time. That was her good mood death threat, 'cause it's normally pretty quick. When she was pissed off at me, it would be all, ' _Zuko, I'm going to murder you slowly in this really weird, very painful and completely overly elaborate way.'_ " He did an impersonation of his sister's clipped, cruel tone.

"What? She used to threaten to murder you when you were little?" Katara sounded outraged. Her hands were on his shoulders now and clenched slightly.

"It's just how she talks to me," he said with a shrug. Azula had always been like that.

"I would never talk to Sokka that way."

Zuko snorted in disbelief. He'd travelled with those two for months. Katara wasn't fooling anyone.

"You threatened to kill him all the time, when we were travelling. _'Oh, Sokka, if you put your smelly socks in the clean pile one more time, I will kill you_.'"

Katara looked a bit offended that he'd done an impersonation of her. "That doesn't count. I'd never threaten Sokka seriously!"

"Well, I don't know if Azula's serious about killing me. Uncle says she's crazy and needs to go down, but I dunno...we used to be really close when we were little. I don't know if she really wants to hurt me."

"Zuko, she's done nothing but threaten to murder you for the entire length and breadth of the Earth Kingdom and now she's locked you in a crystal dungeon."

There was definitely an _I-told-you-so_ in her voice.

"Yeah, but..."

The problem was he still remembered what she used to be like.

-0-

 _Their mother had been gone two weeks and two days when Father announced that he wanted Zuko and Azula to train against each other. Azula had just surpassed Zuko by three bending levels. Father said that Zuko could learn from Azula. Training together might help his pitiful, weak bending improve._

 _Every day, Father made them fight. Every day, Azula won and laughed in Zuko's face. Every day, his father looked at Zuko with such disappointment and said he wasn't trying hard enough. Zuko had to work harder to get his father's approval._

 _It hurt Zuko. Mostly minor burns, strains and sprains. Things he could walk off and pretend hadn't happened. He carried a little jar of burn salve in his pocket. He tried to never show that he was injured or weak._

 _One day he got injured badly._

 _Azula laughed and said something unkind about accidentally killing him._

 _He had to be carried to the palace physician, who recommended Zuko be excused from training for at least two weeks to recover. It had been a blessed relief to hear those words. A two week reprieve._

 _Azula snuck into his room, silent as a shadow, late that afternoon. Zuko didn't acknowledge her._

" _Dumdum, are you awake?" she whispered. "I just came to check up on you."_

 _Zuko curled further in on himself._

" _Come on, Zuzu. Come on, Dumdum. Look at me." She poked him annoyingly in the shoulders for ages until he looked up at her._

 _He scowled._

" _Zuzu, don't be like this. It was just a silly competition," she said dismissively with a shrug._

 _He turned his face away from her._

" _Well, Dad says you've got to get better at firebending. So just be better at it and I won't hurt you so bad, okay?"_

 _He didn't reply._

" _It was just a stupid accident, Zuzu. I thought you'd duck. I didn't think I'd actually hit you." Azula sounded a little defensive now._

 _He stayed silent._

" _I don't like this any more than you do, but Dad says we have to," Azula snapped._

 _Silence._

" _We're going to be doing this every day now. So just get over it already and stop sulking!"_

 _Zuko was giving her the coldest shoulder a firebender could give a person and it was clearly frustrating her._

" _I'd never actually kill you, you know, if that's what you're grumpy about. I was just saying that for Dad. You didn't take me seriously, did you?" Her tone had changed now. She was using that airy and bright voice she liked to use when she was acting nonchalant._

" _I'll keep you around, don't worry …"_

 _Zuko didn't hear this tone much. There was something gentle in it._

" _You're too much fun to torture!"_

 _He heard that teasing tone plenty._

" _Come on, Zuko, don't be mad at me. I didn't mean to hurt you that bad."_

 _For one brief moment in her entire life, Azula sounded genuinely apologetic._

 _His sister had been sorry that afternoon, but Zuko had been so tired and angry. He was so hurt and humiliated. He hadn't cared that she was sorry._

" _Just go away and leave me alone!" he shouted and glared at her so spitefully, full of all his rage and frustration._

 _Azula took a surprised step back._

" _Fine! Be that way!" she yelled and stomped out._

Azula from seven years ago hadn't wanted to hurt him, not really. But she had done anything and everything their father said. Their dad liked to pit them against each other. After that argument it hadn't even been hard for him to make them fight. Azula had been very angry at Zuko for pushing her away and rejecting her apology. She only got more vicious when she was angry.

It had been such a relief when Uncle Iroh arrived home. Zuko had clung to his uncle as his only ally in that crazy palace even then. Uncle had been furious when he'd found out about the daily sparring. He'd spoken to the bending tutors and put a stop to it. It had been the first thing he'd shown any interest in since Lu Ten...

The daily fight had stopped, but their father continued to praise every cruel and deplorable thing Azula did.

Even though she'd been on her own with Ozai for three years, Zuko wanted to believe that somewhere inside his sister was still the same person she'd been that afternoon. Cruel, yes, but capable of feeling remorse...not irredeemable, not evil.

-0-

Azula had a busy morning. Her coup had gone off seamlessly.

All her plans worked perfectly.

The Earth Kingdom generals were now currently in custody. She controlled the whole city. The Dai Li had proven steadfast in their loyalty and pledged to her. She had issued her orders to help stabilise the Upper Ring and open the walls for the Fire Nation Army.

Now it was just time to tie off her loose ends. The old fool would come looking for Zuko sooner or later.

Oh, how she was going to relish rubbing Uncle's face in it.

She'd make her father proud. He'd given her a mission and she'd complete it. Her mission had only been to bring her uncle home, after all. Azula had always been a perfectionist and an overachiever. Capturing Zuko, doing what her uncle could not accomplish in six hundred days and delivering the city of Ba Sing Se into Fire Nation hands – that was just a bonus.

She had communicated little about her real progress with her father. One of her motives for this was to surprise him with her brilliance. She hadn't told the Fire Lord about finding Zuko alive yet either. She had kept Zuko's continued existence secret until now out of pragmatism.

This information, it was _worth_ something. Azula wasn't sure how she was going to spend it.

She had wanted to wait until she had Zuko in custody. It saved embarrassment that way. Azula would never admit that her idiot brother had escaped her... _twice._ He'd surprised her in the forest and in the desert.

Azula didn't like surprises.

 _No, better to tell everyone I found him in Ba Sing Se._ It would make a better story, however Azula decided to spin it.

She sauntered down to the old city and the crystal caves. The Dai Li agent handed her a scroll. She perused rapidly, looking for something she could use. Perhaps Zuko had let their uncle's location slip. The old fool had so far evaded them.

She read a transcript of the conversation while the Dai Li over-explained his notation system.

"That symbol marks when I heard an explosion. The firebending boy, your brother, was doing something. It didn't work, whatever he was trying. Then the girl got sad and worried about him. She cried...then it sounded like they were...comforting each other... _physically_."

The Dai Li put this delicately, like he was aware how gross it was to hear something like that about your older brother.

Somebody actually wanted Zuko around _...for that?_

 _Ewww! Disgusting._

"Are they still comforting each other?" Azula asked, using the Dai Li's turn of phrase.

Azula was made of iron, but even she didn't want to walk into the makeshift listening chamber and overhear...any of _that nonsense._

"No, they have been talking about you, actually, for a while now."

Azula endeavoured to squash the sentimental curiosity that accompanied that statement. It wasn't weakness that she wanted to hear what Zuko was saying about her in an unguarded moment. Could anyone resist eavesdropping when they knew they were the subject of conversation? It wasn't like she actually _cared_ what Zuko really thought of her, she told herself, as she abruptly strode in to listen.

She was eavesdropping for strategic purposes in case Zuko said anything interesting about Uncle's whereabouts...or maybe their mother's whereabouts.

He knew.

He'd always beensuch a liar about that.

He said she was the liar, but she knew Mother had risked everything to sneak to his room and say goodbye to him that night. Zuko had always been her favourite. Mother would have wanted to see him again at least. There would be _no point_ in sneaking in if she hadn't arranged a meeting place.

Her mother was many things, but stupid wasn't one of them.

Azula placed her ear against the wall.

"Zuko, she's awful. Your sister is _awful_! You don't have to defend her. Spirits knows she can defend herself."

"She's still my sister!" Zuko insisted. "I'm just saying I can't hate her. My mum said I had to look after her."

"You can't look after that...that _gremlin_. She's a gremlin!"

Good. The filthy peasant was emotional. That would help.

"She's not as tough as everybody thinks..."

 _That isn't true,_ Azula thought indignantly.

Azula was tougher than anyone dared to contemplate. She was made of steel and iron and other cold, hard things.

What was this idiot saying? Thinking he had to defend her?

"She really needed our mum. When Mum first went missing, Azula would ask me every day where she was. It used to piss me off. I'd be a jerk about it and say, ' _If I knew where she went, I would bloody well go there and get her.'_ But then I realised she was asking because she thought I knew Mum better. Azula didn't know her at all if she believed our Dad. And…" He trailed off here and there was a long pause.

Azula pressed her ear even closer to the crack in the crystals in anticipation.

"I used to make up shit for her. Azula was really asking where Mum would go if she could go anywhere in the world, you know. She was asking what kind of person Mum _was._ So I told her maybe Mum had disguised herself and gone to write dramatic poetry and tacky pantomimes on Cherry Island, or maybe Mum was restoring the sun warrior temples, or playing the mandolin as a street musician, or maybe she decided to be a pearl diver and pull up treasure from the bottom of the ocean. I thought it would cheer her up to think Mum was doing something nice."

 _It was all bullshit?_

Zuko had really thought Mother was dead while he was telling her those things. Zuko had been as lost as she was during that crazy time. Still, he had done what he could to soften the blow of their mother's disappearance.

Azula let this information slot into place. She'd always assumed one of those ridiculous stories was the truth. Azula thought Zuko had been holding out on her, goading her with so many different stories. She'd thought he'd been withholding their mother's whereabouts as some petty way of getting back against the sister who had always outshined him. She thought he was doing it out of jealousy...

Part of Azula had held on to the idea that her brother _knew_ and Mum was out there somewhere. Azula had always hoped…but hope hurts.

Really, his banishment would have been the perfect opportunity to go find Mother. If Zuko had known, Azula had no doubt he would have gone there immediately. He had never known, but she'd resented him for seven years anyway.

Azula pushed away the first emotion this revelation had caused. That emotion _wasn't useful._

Sentimentality was stupid. It wasn't an advantage.

Azula focused on clear, bright anger instead.

Mum being alive? It had always been bullshit. A stupid fantasy her brother spun her.

For what point and purpose? To make her feel like a fool seven years later? No, the real answer was more stupid and soppy than that.

To _comfort_ her? Zuko thought she needed comforting...and had _actually tried?_

He really was an idiot.

"If your mum hadn't..." The peasant sounded uncertain how to finish that sentence.

 _If their mother hadn't what? Died? Been murdered?_ Azula thought angrily.

Zuko really thought that their father would do that?

To be fair, Dad would. Zuko wasn't wrong about that. Azula knew that too. But it was another thing altogether to just come out and say it out loud to another person. Azula couldn't believe it when she'd read the notes of their conversation. It was high treason to say things like that.

Zuko was just treasoning all over the place lately and he didn't seem to care! Azula wanted to stomp in there and slap the stupidity out of her brother and tell him _you can't just accuse the Fire Lord of murder!_

"I mean which one do you think she really would have done?" the peasant said after a beat. She was coaxing and encouraging...and genuine? It was like she was actually interested in what Dumdum would say.

"I used to hope she'd moved to the Earth Kingdom and found a really nice man who'd never hurt her. Someone who could play an instrument and had gentle hands, and she'd make a whole new family. At least she'd be safe and happy then."

 _A nice Earth Kingdom family to adopt her?_ Her brother was so simple, so transparent. It was so embarrassing how obvious he was. It was actually painful. It plucked a rarely played string inside Azula.

"I think that says more about you than your mum," the waterbender observed, her tone gentle. She at least was an astute one, for a peasant.

"Maybe it does," Zuko confessed.

They didn't speak for a long moment. Azula really hoped they weren't about to start _comforting_ each other again.

 _Disgusting!_

The silence dragged on. It shook Azula out of her moment of curiosity. She should go. What did it matter what Zuko thought? Listening to him was wasting her time on what was a very busy day. This had been pointless. Zuko had given her nothing she could use. He never had.

He really was useless, just like Dad always said.

"When we get out of here, I want you to come with us on Appa," the girl said, clear as a bell. "Stay with us. We'll never hurt you. We'll take care of you. We'll make you happy. We want you with us. We can be your new family."

Zuko didn't instantly reject her offer. Azula felt furious at him for that. She was his family first! He didn't have her permission to go off and make a new one.

Suddenly there was the echoing sound of rocks crumbling. The rumbling of the rocks drowned out whatever Zuko's answer would have been.

"There's an earthbender in there!" the Dai Li agent said in alarm. "Should we attack?"

He was looking to Azula for orders. She held her hand up. The command was clear. _Hold your fire._ She motioned back towards the cracks. "Let's see who our new guest is."

"Oh, Aang, you came!" the waterbender exclaimed happily. "I'm so happy to see you!"

Aang? The Avatar?

Jackpot.

"Nephew! I have been so worried! Are you okay?"

Uncle.

Double jackpot.

Azula knew her plan would pay off. Her plans always did.

-0-

Notes:

Gigantic thanks to the gorgeous and fabulous Boogum for the beta. Also thank you everyone for your wonderful feedback.

So COD is going to go down very differently. One thing that will stay the same is the key-role the familiar dynamics between Zuko/Azula and Iroh affect how the whole thing plays out.

I have some rambly thoughts about the fIre-nation royal family dynamics.

Wow, they are a hot mess of layered drama and dysfunction…like an abusive lasagne. But this messed-up family gives us Zuko and Azula, and they are so fascinating. Nothing is simple between these two. I loved the recent Ehasz tweets about the possibility for Azula's redemption, and I have always had my own ideas about how Zuko and Azula could salvage their relationship. It was nice to get a sense of vindication, because I don't think Azula is a lost cause.

Watching the confrontation between Zuko and Ozai, I was struck by the sheer surprise Zuko expresses when Ozai says his mother is alive. What did he think before? Out of loyalty to his mother, Zuko wouldn't have believed (in his heart) whatever story Ozai concocted*. Zuko knew his mother wouldn't abandon them, and his dad's story didn't make much sense.

*low-key: _for real_ , what did Ozai tell people? The whole situation stinks to high heaven. His father mysteriously changes his will, without consulting or informing anyone, and then just as mysteriously dies suddenly and unexpectedly (longevity being a family trait), and his wife disappears all in the same night. Like, for goodness sake, you don't need a special investigation to see something shifty as all hell happened.

Does Ozai say 'my wife mysteriously ran away, abandoning me and her children and her royal duties, and that's all there is. Nothing to see here folks.' Does he just 'trump' his way through all the naysayers and yell his version of events as loud as possible and hope the power of the throne will prevent people from questioning him further? Like seriously. Does the entire Fire Nation also think he murdered his wife? Low-key, I think they do, but they let wife-murder slide, because he's the fire-lord now and you can't accuse the fire-lord of murder – not unless you are planning a full-scale coup and a very confident you will win.

Ironic eh? It's the one terrible thing Ozai didn't do, and everyone assumes he's guilty.

Anyway, Zuko never bought, not entirely, the whole she-didn't-love-you-and-abandoned-you story his dad was spinning. But I think it would take him a long time to process and come to terms with the most likely outcome. I think he couldn't deny it any longer after he had his epiphany about the Fire Nation and what Ozai was really like, (leading up to his epic "fuck you, dad"). Zuko just had that epiphany earlier in my story than in canon. So Zuko thinks his mother is dead and Ozai killed her. That's why the "yo mama's alive" bombshell floors him so much.

Azula, on the other hand, has a very vested interest in believing her dad.

Azula seems to actively resent Zuko underneath all the contempt. I wondered what might prompt this, considering she so often has the upper hand and is in a position of power over him. I think it was more than just a general feeling that their mother loved Zuko more, (though that certainly is a factor). So I wrote that she believed for a long time that Ursa was alive and Zuko knew where she was. It was easier for Azula to think her mother was alive and feel angry at her brother for withholding, than contemplate the possibility that her actions in assisting her father had led directly to her mother's death.

The biggest difference between my story and canon is that Zuko has experienced much more healthy friendships and relationships at this point. He knows what it is like to feel safe and be loved by people other than Iroh. He reciprocates this feeling in spades. (He's inclined towards loyalty, which is why feeling that he betrayed his Uncle cuts him so deep.) He was torn between his Uncle and the Gaang earlier in the chapter, but it's crossroads/choice time.

He's also seen, first hand, a really healthy brother/sister dynamic. Katara and Sokka have one of the best sibling relationships in tv. Love those two. However, we all consider what we grew up with to be "normal". Zuko is very _used_ to Azula. He would have normalised a lot of her behaviour and thought 'so this is just what family is like'. You bet every time Sokka and Katara had a squabble and Katara muttered something like "you put your socks in my clean pile one more time and I will kill you," Zuko would have thought _ah, it's not just Azula who says shit like that._

However, Katara is here to clear up that little misconception. Katara, coming from a fairly well-adjusted family, is rightly horrified when she hears about the shenanigans that went on in the palace during Zuko's childhood. My two drama llamas aren't going to agree on everything. Azula's _gremlin status_ is one area where they disagree. But at least they can talk openly about their disagreement and hear each other out.

Next chapter with be the battle under Ba Sing Se, til then my lovelies.


	17. Ba Sing Se has fallen

Aang narrowed his eyes at the sight before him.

Those two had been at it again!

They'd both been startled and jumped apart when he broke through the rock wall with Uncle Iroh, but Aang had still seen how they'd been standing so closely before. Zuko's hands had been on Katara's waist, and she'd had both her hands around his face. They were doing that stupid, lame staring thing where they started looking at each other so intently it was like they were trying to see the back of the other's eyeballs.

Katara yelped delightedly and came over to give him a hug. Aang felt a shameful flood of possessiveness surge through him. He wanted to tell Katara that she was his forever girl, and he had just given up ever going into the Avatar State – _just for her!_ So she should be with him now.

But suddenly the Dai Li attacked, blocking their exit and forcing everyone to run into a different tunnel. Aang didn't like the Dai Li, but at least their onslaught had interrupted the moment.

That wasn't entirely unwelcome.

-0-

Azula sent for reinforcements. She could capture her uncle, the Avatar, her brother and the entire Earth Kingdom all in one day. Even by her standards, this was working out excellently. The group had a slight head start, but she would catch them.

"Neutralise the old man!" she commanded.

Uncle was the player here. As the only other lightning bender, he was a real threat.

To complicate matters, Father had specifically asked for Uncle Iroh to be brought back alive. Azula had to bring him home so he could be blamed and humiliated for the travesty at the North Pole. Then father could redirect the anger of their people at a more suitabletarget. Father wanted the people to know it wasn't his fault that the North Pole had been such a calamity.

She sent a small force forward to distract the other three and directed the majority of her agents to combat her uncle. He was putting up a good fight, but she had the numbers. She watched the fight impassively. The old fool clearly hadn't slept. He'd tire out, hesitate a moment, make a mistake. It was only a matter of time.

Zuko noticed Uncle had fallen behind and had turned back. Uncle shouted at him to go on without him, frantic and worried.

Good, he was emotional. Emotions led to mistakes.

Zuko called back that he wasn't leaving without Uncle Iroh. 

_Yes, that's true. They'll both be leaving as my prisoners._

Azula smiled in amusement. She'd been waiting for Uncle Iroh to make a mistake or be distracted. She should have counted on her brother to help out. He was always inadvertently helping her out. He made it too easy.

"Uncle," she said, "I have a proposition. If you come quietly now, I'll let Zuko live."

There was a lot of noise and chaos, but Uncle heard her. She knew he'd heard because he hesitated. A moment's hesitation cost him dearly. That was all the Dai Li needed. In the blink of an eye, the Dragon of the West was encased in impenetrable crystals.

One down.

The waterbender girl had come back for Azula's fool of a brother and had grabbed him by the arm and dragged him forward. The Avatar urged them all to keep moving. Azula motioned for the Dai Li to push them into the larger caverns. She gave her trapped uncle a scornful glance as she strode towards the sound of battle with an unhurried gait. With Uncle out of the picture, her victory was assured.

When she arrived, she found that the Avatar had inexplicably encased himself in some kind of crystal tent, leaving his friend and her brother to fight the majority of the Dai Li forces on their own.

Azula noted that Zuko and this girl actually made a good team. They were working together, mirroring each other with their movements. They were fighting back to back and protecting each other's vulnerable spots. The Dai Li were having a hard time getting closer and landing a hit.

The solution was so obvious. Azula gave an order. The ground beneath their feet began moving apart rapidly. Zuko and the waterbending girl both momentarily lost their footing. They seemed stunned at being separated so abruptly. They reached for each other but to no avail. The very earth under their feet was tearing them apart.

 _Divide and conquer._

The oldest and easiest trick in the book. And yet the Dai Li needed to be _told_ to do it. They really had lacked leadership. They were lucky Azula had come along.

Zuko and the waterbending girl had both ended up on opposite sides of the large cavern, each battling their own troupe of Dai Li agents. They were soft targets now that they didn't have someone guarding their back.

Zuko, always reckless, made an ill-advised attempt to get back over to the waterbender's side. The boulder collided with him, knocking him into the far wall. The girl called out his name frantically. She had surrounded herself in a ring of water, but it wouldn't protect her forever.

Suddenly, the fighting stopped. The cave filled with an eerie, glowing light. The Avatar had emerged from his rock tent. He was floating above them and into the air. Azula realised he was trying to activate the Avatar State.

So that's what he was doing in that rock tent!

Limitless power, and this child had no idea how to use it. Everyone watched the boy float higher and glow brighter. These idiots were just staring in awe.

 _Fools –_ all of them. Her father had given her a mission. The glow signified nothing. The fact that he was child signified even less. This was the Avatar and an enemy.

His back was to her, _for goodness sake._ It wasn't even a hard shot.

Azula's lightning was precise and deadly.

The Avatar fell.

-0-

Katara's waterwave knocked everyone off their feet as it surged through the entire cavern.

Katara had done something that powerful?

She was _amazing._

Her wave gave Zuko the chance he needed. He had held his ground by climbing up and hanging on to the wall, and the wave had sloshed past his feet, carrying many struggling and floundering Dai Li agents. He dropped down on the slick ground and saw Katara kneeling near the crystal waterfall, clutching Aang to her chest and crying. Aang was lying like a lifeless ragdoll in her arms.

The sight hit Zuko like a punch to the gut. It felt like all the air left his lungs.

Oh shit.

Zuko ran to them, dropping to his knees on the ground in front of them. He had one arm on Katara's back and one hand helping her support Aang's head, which was flopping listlessly to the side.

He could hear himself swearing and Katara crying and the distant shouts of the water-logged Dai Li. They didn't have long before they were surrounded again. They were trapped down here in these caves. The only exit was the hole Azula's lighting had blasted in the ceiling.

Zuko thought he could even see a star or two glittering in the small opening. He wondered if they would be the last stars he ever saw. At least dying here was better than the North Pole. This time, he would go out protecting his friends. He could protect Katara at least. He'd already failed Aang.

Aang was so still. He felt so heavy and small.

Aang had never wanted to be the Avatar in the first place. He just wanted to do that stupid marble trick, play with animals, and lecture people about vegetarianism while goofing off. That was Aang. Aang should have never been down here. Aang was from peacetime. He wasn't built for war.

He'd only been a fucking kid.

It wasn't right!

It wasn't fair!

Zuko could feel his own heart pounding in his ears. He felt angry. He wanted to throw something in the great unfeeling eye of Agni. _Just live, Aang. Just be alive again,_ he wished with all his heart. He would give his own life if Aang would just get up and walk away from this.

" _You Accept The Consequences, Then?"_

The words hadn't been spoken from anywhere. It felt more like he heard them in his mind, in his spirit. It was like when the Ocean Spirit had tried to give him wisdom, but the voice was softer ... familiar somehow. It spoke in a human voice, using words he could understand. Zuko could have sworn it sounded like Yue.

She was trying to tell him something important. There was a price, but if he could help Aang live, of course he would pay it.

Zuko felt a flutter beneath his palm. A faint spark of something _inside_ Aang, reaching out to him. He knew suddenly that he could bend it. A little spark could be fed and encouraged until it became a strong fire.

He concentrated.

His hands felt like they were flushing hot and cold. Then the heat was _leaving_ him and going _into_ Aang. The cold seeped into Zuko's bones as the heat left, but he didn't stop. The little spark grew bigger and started spreading through Aang's body, but it wasn't burning him. It was following his chi pathways.

Aang made an agonised, groaning noise. His eyelids fluttered.

"What are you doing?" Katara whispered.

"I have no idea."

Zuko felt cold now. A shiver ran through him. The cold made him think of the North Pole, Yugoda and her gentle hands, her healing book, and her desire to see the world. She had been so full of wisdom and kindness. Perhaps she could guide him now.

" _My grandmother said proficient firebenders had the ability to give some of their chi to others in certain situations. She described it as a little spark of energy that could help people hold on to life longer. She saw it several times after an earthquake. Master firebenders were keeping their loved ones clinging to life."_

The life-giving spark?

So it was real after all.

-0-

The Dai Li had regrouped at the far end of the cavern. They were striding forward in formation with the Gremlin at the front. Katara hated that Gremlin with a fierce intensity. It didn't matter to her that this girl was Zuko's sister. She was evil.

Zuko hadn't noticed them approaching – all of his focus was on reviving Aang. Katara could see Aang's chest rise and fall. She could feel his fingers twitching. She stood back and raised her arms, summoning water. She'd protect the boys while Zuko kept doing _whatever he was doing._ It was working, whatever it was. Aang would live.

Before she had a chance to unleash another wave, Iroh burst back onto the scene. He landed deftly in front of her and released a barrage of fire at his niece. He must have somehow escaped the Dai Li holding him prisoner.

"I'll hold them off as long as I can – you three go!" he commanded over his shoulder.

Zuko looked back at his uncle, his concentration broken. "No, Uncle. I'm not leav—"

"Go now!" Iroh commanded, every inch the general who was not in the mood for an argument.

Katara crouched next to Zuko. "We have to get out of here. I need you to keep Aang alive."

He looked so torn but nodded in agreement.

She reached out to him with one arm, helping to support Aang between them. The hole in the ceiling was their only escape route. Katara summoned the water spout. A water spout was quicker and more adaptable than an ice pillar. That would be too brittle and slow with the Dai Li hurling boulders.

The water gave them a slight lift, but something was wrong. They only travelled a few feet in the air before they came crashing back down.

She tried again, but with the same result.

Zuko's uncle was still throwing fire at the Dai Li and distracting them, but he couldn't do that forever. They needed to get out of here now! Katara growled in frustration, gathering the water to her once more. Sure, the waterspout was only meant to lift one person, but she was a master bender and she refused to give up!

"It's me," Zuko said softly, realising what the problem was. "I'm too heavy."

"No! I can do it!"

It wasn't true. Zuko was wrong. She was strong enough to lift them all up. She could save them all.

Katara gathered the water underneath them and focussed everything within her on the task. She felt the inexorable pull of gravity, dragging Zuko away from her and bringing them back down to earth.

"Katara, this isn't working. You have to leave me behind."

"No! I'm not leaving you!"

"I've done all I can for Aang. I can't make his inner fire any bigger. You need to get him out of here and heal him now." He placed Aang back in her arms.

Aang was not quite awake yet, but he was so warm and blessedly alive. She looked down at him. Aang was the last hope for peace. He was meant to save the world, but more importantly he was her friend, a brother to her as much as Sokka. He needed her.

But Katara needed Zuko. She loved him. She wanted to keep him forever, and she was going to have to leave him behind. She didn't know if she could bear it. It had crushed her to lose him once.

Zuko cupped her face in his large hands and looked at her levelly. "I'll cover your exit with my uncle, buy you more time."

His voice was insistent yet so sad. He glanced at the old man who had been standing between them and horrific destruction. His uncle's wall of fire still held, shielding them, but Iroh was looking worse for wear. He could do with some help, and they both knew it.

"I love you," Katara blurted. Then she stood on her tip-toes to give him a kiss. It felt like a kiss goodbye.

She had been waiting for the right time to say those words. She had wanted the first time to be meaningful and dramatic. She had certainly gotten her wish.

It had been a stupid wish.

She could have told him during the night when they had been all snuggled up together, warm and safe under her blankets. She could have told him in the kitchen when she'd confessed she didn't want him to ever leave. She could have told him a few days ago when she had seen him making friends with Appa again, or even before that in Lake Lagoai, or when she first saw him again in that alley, or in the swamp. She could have said it ages ago in the spirit oasis when they were training together under the cold stars.

She should have told him every day, because she loved him every day.

"I love you too," he whispered. "But you have to go now. Aang needs you."

It was true. It was _awful._

She just wanted to have him with her, safe and happy. She just wanted to _keep_ him. She wanted to wake up next to Zuko every morning, but she wasn't going to get any of that.

Katara turned away from him, tears streaming down her face, knowing that if she looked at him any longer she wasn't going to be able to leave. She tightened her grip on Aang, holding the young airbender close to her chest. They travelled upwards on her waterspout towards the small opening. They were so much lighter now, even though her heart felt so heavy.

They escaped the caverns.

Aang was alive, but the warmth in his body was fading. His heart had started stuttering the minute Zuko let him go.

She needed to get him to safety and heal him, otherwise there was _no point_ to any of it.

-0-

Iroh had been flagging when, to his horror, Zuko joined him wordlessly. His nephew bolstered the fire barrier that Iroh had created. It had been meant to protect _all three_ children and give them a chance to escape.

Iroh had been willing to sacrifice himself. He knew his own fate was going to be less than pleasant, but it had warmed his heart to think that at least his nephew and his two friends would get away.

Iroh was meant to save Zuko, not the other way around. But that headstrong, foolish boy had chosen to stay with him.

It broke Iroh's heart.

"She got out. She got away." Zuko sagged with relief as soon as Katara's figure disappeared from the cavern.

He'd been watching her progress, his concentration split between the wall of fire and his girlfriend. As soon as she disappeared from view, it was like all the fight went out of his nephew. He stopped bending, clearly exhausted.

"Then I propose we find another escape for ourselves. There are many tunnels here. One of them may lead to safety," Iroh said with false optimism as he summoned a final surge. He had never been one to give up until he had tried all possibilities.

Iroh threw a fire wave (the same move Zuko had showed him) at the Dai Li and his terrible niece. It unbalanced them and allowed a precious moment to retreat. He dragged his nephew towards the nearest tunnel, as they didn't have the time or the luxury of examining their options. Iroh just hoped it would lead somewhere else.

Zuko was really struggling now. He seemed beyond exhausted and could barely keep his feet underneath him. He staggered and swayed. He had to lean on Iroh for support. He was breathing heavily, as if he'd run a long way.

Iroh had never seen Zuko this way. His heart thudded in concern. They followed the crystals further into the maze-like labyrinth, but their escape plan came to an abrupt halt. An uncaring rock wall met them.

 _A dead end._

Zuko slumped against it, inconsolable. "So that's it then?" He sighed and slid down the wall. "There really is no way out."

Iroh could fight. He could use his final strength to battle his enemies and give his nephew a few more precious moments. He could die gloriously. But what point would it serve? Why would he do that when he could sit next to Zuko and offer his nephew what comfort he could?

"I'm sorry, Zuko. I've failed you."

He felt guilty and sad. He had only ever wanted the best for Zuko, but he had frequently chosen poorly. The war meeting, his lack of praise during three long, lonely years, the secrets, the lies …

If Iroh had done things differently, maybe they never would have ended up here.

There were footsteps at the far end of the tunnel. They didn't have long.

Zuko actually _shushed him_ like a frustrated parent. "Shh, Uncle. You never failed me. I failed you. I should have listened to you." He leaned his head against Iroh's shoulder, eyes closing.

Zuko was admitting he should have listened?

Oh no.

Zuko was more than exhausted. Something was _wrong._

Iroh felt his forehead. No fever. If anything, Zuko was very cold to the touch. Iroh's heart fluttered anxiously, even though it was useless. He'd never get the chance to help Zuko with whatever this new calamity was. In sixteen brief years, Zuko had suffered so many calamities, strange injuries and illnesses, and hurts so deep Iroh didn't think he'd ever get to the bottom of them.

His nephew had deserved so much better.

"I just wish I could have taken better care of you," Iroh confessed as he pulled Zuko close in silent apology.

Zuko had been like a second son to him, a second chance. Iroh had never been able to protect him from harm, though he had always tried his best.

"You did take care of me, Uncle. You were _my home._ You always supported me. You loved me even when I was a human garbage fire."

Zuko spoke softly, trying to be reassuring, but his whole body had slumped in an alarming manner. Iroh jostled Zuko a little, trying to get him to sit up straighter. It was suddenly very urgent that he keep Zuko alert and awake, keep him talking.

"You were never a human garbage fire. You've always made me so proud."

"Not _that_ again," Zuko said, smiling faintly.

The footsteps were closer now. Iroh thought it sounded like at least twelve men. In amongst the noise, he could discern the clipped, strident canter of his niece. They were close.

"Always so supposive. Besss, Uncle. Wish you'd been my dad instead of that asssole." Zuko was beginning to slur his speech now, but his final words came out surprisingly clear: "Fuck that guy. Ozai. What a dick."

Zuko sighed, closed his eyes, and was still.

"Come on, Zuko. Stay with me, okay?" Iroh shook him gently. "Open your eyes."

His nephew didn't stir. He looked like he was sleeping peacefully, but Iroh knew better.

The Dai Li were upon them, and Azula strode forward. Iroh put up no resistance. He didn't raise a hand to that terrible girl. He needed her to do something for him. Zuko had thought there was still good in her (albeit buried very deep down).

"I will come with you quietly if you get him to a doctor," Iroh offered, nodding towards Zuko. "Something is wrong with him. He's very sick."

"Please, there's always been something wrong with him," Azula sneered dismissively. "And I hardly think you are in a position to make deals now, Uncle." Her expression was cold and unmoved. She clicked her fingers in an almost perfunctory fashion. "Seize them."

-0-

Katara's heart was thudding like a war drum in her chest. She'd landed in the palace courtyard, Aang lying listlessly in her arms. She looked around desperately, fishing in Aang's pocket for the bison whistle. She blew it and moments later she heard Appa's rumble.

Once in the saddle, she wasted no time. She turned Aang on his stomach so she could better tend to his back. Sokka glanced over his shoulder and saw the gaping wound and started swearing anxiously as he flew Appa at top speed away from the palace. Kuei was sitting with Bosco, looking between her and Aang with wide, frightened eyes. He seemed so young then, this king who had never left the palace until a few days ago. Toph knelt beside her, laying her hands on Aang so she could see the damage for herself.

"Oh _dang,_ " the small girl whispered in shock. "You have to do something, Katara. You have to fix him."

All cockiness and attitude was gone from her voice. She was pleading.

Katara knew she had to fix him. She had no idea _how._ Yugoda had never shown her how to heal lightning. Katara hadn't been paying as much attention as she should have in healing classes. She'd never thought it was as important as fighting ... and Zuko _wasn't here._

He'd always cared more about healing than she had. He'd always listened to Yugoda closely. He wasn't here to come up with the next best solution and say something like, "Try bridging technique, then compartmentalising barriers. You can do this. I know you can," in his soft, raspy voice.

No, he'd given Aang all his warmth, then sacrificed himself so they could get away. He couldn't help her anymore.

She was on her own with a dying boy in front of her and no idea what to do.

Aang was getting colder again in her arms. He wasn't whimpering as much. His breathing was getting shallower. She had to do something quickly. She looked up at the full moon, blinking back tears. She felt it rather than heard it then: Yue's gentle voice in her head whispered an important reminder.

 _The spirit water!_

Katara had been wearing it under her dress for so long she'd almost forgotten it was there. She fished it out, fingers fumbling with the stopper. The water glowed as she pulled it out of the vial and spread it over her friends' back.

"Oh, Yue, please help us," Katara found herself pleading, hoping the kind girl in the moon would hear her. "Please let it work."

The water glowed brighter and took on a mind of its own. It was flowing into the cracks and gaps in the injury. The gaping hole in Aang's back began to shimmer unnaturally. The wound seemed to be knitting back together and closing itself off.

Katara could feel the moon making her bending stronger. She could feel the chi pathways. She could feel two different energies mixing inside Aang. The warmer energy was flowing with Aang's wounded, hurt energy. She could tell it was trying to help Aang's chi move healthily again.

It felt like a little bit of Zuko was still with her.

Aang's breathing levelled out. His energy levels settled. The wound in his back was covered in puckered, pink skin. It would scar, but it had closed over. The worst of the damage had healed. Aang groaned and opened his eyes. He would survive.

Katara pulled him into a hug and held him close, her heart flooding with gratitude and relief. He would live.

"What happened?" Aang asked, sounding dazed. He seemed out of it and looked around groggily.

"Azula shot you with lightning."

"Where are we now?"

"We're on the back of Appa."

"Where are Zuko and his uncle?"

Aang's confused words twisted a knife in her guts.

"We had to leave them behind," she explained, her voice catching in her throat and her heart heavy. "They stayed behind so we could escape."

But all wasn't lost. Katara was the optimist. Aang would live. Ten minutes ago she had thought he was dead. She could get Zuko back too.

"We can go back for them..."

"No, you can't," Kuei spoke up, interrupting her. She was surprised at his firm tone.

"What?"

"You can't go back to Ba Sing Se." Kuei pointed behind them.

Katara took in the sight of the Fire Nation banner unfurling over the Earth Kingdom palace. The inner walls were dropping rapidly. The outer defences were gone. The Fire Nation army that had been stationed nearby were marching towards the city in a steady stream that stretched across the flat plains around the city.

"Ba Sing Se has fallen."

-0-

Notes:

A million thanks to Boogum for her amazing and brilliant beta skills!

Also, A huge thank you to everyone who leaves feedback. I have loved reading all your thoughts.

So the Crystal Catacombs goes down very differently in this story, and yet everyone still kind of ended up in roughly the same place as in the show. _Worst Prisoner_ has kind of evolved into becoming canon-parallel. I try to keep the story beats the same, but the emotional journey and the relationships between the characters is what changes.

Zuko and Iroh have built a much stronger relationship in this fic than they had at the same point in canon. I could never picture Zuko turning against his Uncle in this universe. Instead, he got to acknowledge that his Uncle was a much better father to him that Ozai. But sadly for Zuko, I do think many metas about how he needed to go back to the Fire Nation to figure things out for himself had a very valid point.

(Zuko also only slurs his 's' in times of grave illness/distress because Dante Basco had a slight lisp in some scenes. Areaph wrote a brilliant meta a while ago about how Zuko seems ambidextrous in the show, but it was more likely that he was left-handed but made to use his right hand and gained proficient use of both through hard work. That's a metaphor for how he wasn't angry-arsehole bending inclined, but was forced to learn and bend that style anyway, even though it was unnatural for him. In RL, kids who are forced into using their non-dominate hand commonly have childhood/adolescent speech impediments and higher levels of anxiety and…anyway, this doesn't have much to do with this chapter but I found it fascinating. I've never been able to fit in this HC into this story, so I thought I'd share it here. That's what these rambly notes are for, after all.)

So Katara and Zuko said "I love you" in a dramatic fashion, before being dramatically separated. I know Katara inferred it in a previous chapter, but now she was ready to say it directly to him and he was ready to say it back. I don't think Zuko's actually said _I love you_ outloud to that many people. Maybe his mum, but that would be more than seven years ago now. He's less comfortable with putting himself out there, emotionally. He also has not really put that much thought about the long-term future. Thinking ahead was never his strong point, after all. Also he's had very little idea or control over where his life was heading for most of book 2 and his ideas about the future are much more nebulous.

Conversely, Katara puts her emotions out there all the time and is very comfortable with expressing them, but she has a lot more pre-conceived ideas of how things _should be_ in a romantic relationship, and their relationship is very unconventional for the ATLA verse (inter-nation/inter-racial). There was a reason why she would always fantasize about the future in water-tribe settings. She was hoping he could fit in to her way of life. But when push comes to pull (see what I did there?), she still loves him even with all the differences between them.

Boogum's Undying Fire is a fantastic and engrossing fic, and it was the first place I saw Zuko healing with his firebending. I know he does it in other fic, but Boogum's is what made me sit up and think _this is perfect. It's so perfect for him._ Full credit to her for the inspiration.

I think Zuko would naturally be fascinated by healing. He's a good boy and was very attentive to his fake grandma, Yugoda, because it sparked his interest so. Healing suits him both for practical reasons (how many times in Zuko's life would a bit of splashy-healing water have helped enormously), and aspirational ones (that boy just wants to heal the world and fill it with love and kindness). Zuko wasn't as maudlin as Jeong Jeong, but I think he would have also struggled with the idea that firebending can be used for solidly good purposes, like healing. He wouldn't have believed in something as pure as _the spark of life_ until he did it himself. But giving most of your energy to someone else does have consequences, as Zuko will discover. So will Aang.

He got a big helpful push from Yue, because I really like that girl. Even though she's the moon, it doesn't mean she can't pop up and be useful to her friends from time to time. I like the idea that Yue, as a fairly new and young spirit, would still be more attached to the world and want to intervene where she could. She was a very compassionate and noble girl, in her own way. She's still figuring out how spirit-stuff works and can only muster the energy when the situation is really dire and urgent. We may see her again.

The next chapter will be the last one for book 2. Until then my lovelies.


	18. Leaving Ba Sing Se

The Fire Nation Army had rolled in and unfurled banners everywhere. There was no doubt that the city belonged to Azula now. She'd done quickly and bloodlessly what her uncle couldn't do in a six hundred day siege. She surveyed her conquest impassively.

 _To think they'd lost their cousin for this crap hole…_

Azula tried to push away the thought of Lu Ten. Thinking of him made her feel things. It wasn't an advantage. Yet, for Lu Ten's sake, she would have let her uncle salvage some dignity. But Uncle had annoyed her when she'd gone to see him. She'd had him imprisoned separately from her brother. When he saw her, he'd only asked about Zuko, only cared about Zuko. He didn't seem to care for his own fate. No, it was all about her brother…as usual.

"Zuko is not your concern anymore, Uncle," she had replied, knowing a vague non-answer was the worst thing she could say. The old man was going to twist himself up into worried knots over that.

She commanded the Dai Li to parade her uncle, the famed Dragon of the West, through the city and down to the harbour. She wanted them to take him past all the clear signs of her victory. Let him wallow in the shame of his defeat. Let him know humiliation.

Azula had taken over as regent, thanks to the Earth King's timely disappearance. The Avatar's associates, that Water Tribe boy and the blind girl, had actually done Azula a big favour by making that obsolete puppet vanish. The peasants had no one to look to as a would-be saviour.

Still, she wished Mai had tried a little harder to keep the fool king and his bear. Azula could have made _a statement_ with them, had them bow to her publicly.

Mai had a hard time being bothered about anything, but she had an _actual job_ as a henchwoman. Azula had hoped for a slightly better work ethic from her.

Azula would be regent until General Hanzo arrived. He was coming in a matter of days. He had been hand-picked by her father to assume control of the city. She had told her father about her victory. She had fudged a few of the details. Zuko thought she always lied, but she actually just told a different version of the truth.

Some of the things she said were accurate at least. She said she'd found her brother alive (truth), captured her uncle (truth) and the Avatar was dead (truth). She said Zuko had been the cause of the Avatar's demise (kinda truth – they'd come looking for him) and her brother had been instrumental in helping her take the city. (Eeerrr...well his contagious stupidity and getting other people, notably Uncle, to make foolish choices had helped.)

So the whole thing was mostly true. The best deceptions were. The problem with this deception was that her brother was proving to be even more inconvenient than she had anticipated – and she had anticipated a lot of inconvenience.

She thought she'd let Zuko stew in the dungeon as punishment for trying that idiotic "sick prisoner" schtick with Uncle. Just how stupid did he think she was? The whole thing was an insult to her intelligence.

She had been planning on parading past his cell in Earth Kingdom finery, announcing her new position as Regent. She was now Crown Princess of the Fire Nation and Temporary Queen of the Earth Kingdom, _so there!_ She was going to rub his face in it shamelessly for fun. Then she would have sashayed away while he shouted indignantly.

She'd already tried this, but Zuko was still steadfastly pretending to be unconscious. That was annoying.

She gotten _all dressed up_ and everything.

She commanded the guards to alert her if there was any change in her brother and set about her duties as regent. She quashed unrest in the city, threatened, cajoled and glad-handed various Earth Kingdom nobility into compliance.

These people were so weak. They were just begging to be ruled by someone stronger. They'd sell out their fellow countrymen over anything. A little fear, a sprinkle of gold, and a hint of blackmail and they were putty in her hands. It was too easy.

She had dinner with Mai and Ty Lee. Ty Lee praised her brilliance; Mai was sarcastic about everything related to the Earth Kingdom and how boring it was. Azula wanted to enjoy it and bask in her victory. But there was still one loose thread she hadn't tied off.

Azula was a perfectionist. She wanted everything _just so._

She excused herself and went down to the dungeon. The two Dai Li agents saluted her arrival.

"I thought I told you to inform me if there was any change in my brother." Her tone was impatient, clipped.

"Yes, Your Majesty. We know our orders. There hasn't been any change. He's just been lying there. He hasn't moved at all."

The agent sounded scared. He should be.

 _Incompetence!_

Didn't they know Zuko had so much restless energy he could barely lie still for a moment, let alone a whole day? There was no way he could keep up the "sick prisoner" routine this long.

 _They should have_ _told me_ _he wasn't moving at all!_ Azula thought indignantly.

"Open it up," she commanded.

The earthen door slid back to reveal her brother in exactly the same way he'd landed when she had him thrown in here. He was lying on the floor, legs all akimbo. He hadn't even rolled over to a more comfortable position.

"Enough of this, Dumdum. Get up!" She stomped over and kicked him in the stomach. He didn't even grunt in response.

" _Don't hurt him, heartless girl,"_ her foolish uncle had insisted as they dragged him away. _"Your brother is sick. You need to get him to a doctor."_

Azula had ignored his royal tea-loving kookiness, assuming it was a desperate, last-ditch ploy.

"I'm serious," she said, and kicked Zuko again. "Stop dicking around."

Still no response.

"Zuzu, stop it! You're annoying me now. Don't be stubborn. Get up." She knelt next to him and shook his shoulder very roughly. His hair flopped in his face as his head drooped listlessly.

Nothing. He gave her nothing.

"Zuzu?" Her voice was softer, not demanding. She hated the way it sounded. She wasn't soft, but she was shaking him much more gently now. She moved her palm in front of his nose and felt a flutter of air. He was still breathing.

"Zuzu, stop it. This isn't funny anymore."

He was a cog in her plan, and she needed him to make the whole apparatus work. That was why she reached out to move his hair and touch his forehead gently. "Zuko, get up," she whispered.

She told herself it wasn't because she _cared._ She wasn't _worried._ It was just because he was a necessary bit of machinery to be utilised.

She hissed and withdrew her palm. He was ice cold.

A firebender should never be ice cold.

"Send for a doctor!"

-0-

Sokka flew them to the bay where the warriors from the southern Water Tribe had been stationed. He ran towards one of the men and gave him a huge hug. So that was Sokka's dad. He was fit. He walked confidently and spoke kindly. He made bad jokes. Toph approved.

Aang had fallen into a deep sleep, like some princess in a spirit tale. Katara had assured Toph that he was alright. His body just needed time to recover. Sokka and Katara's extremely fit and muscular dad carried Aang to the boat as gently as if he was a basket of fresh eggs.

The three of them followed Daddy Muscles. Toph never thought she'd think this, but she was glad that there was an actual real _adult_ around. (Kuei didn't count.) Daddy Muscles seemed to know what they should do and said he would keep them safe.

Safe.

Toph would never admit it. She was too tough to say something like, "Yay, safety!" But she was glad to hear Daddy Muscles say that after Aang had nearly died from being shot in the back by Gremlin, and they'd lost Zuko. Katara was normally the person who said positive shit like that, but that wasn't happening tonight.

Oh man, Katara…Just _dang_.

Katara had been real quiet since she realised they had no way of going back to Ba Sing Se to get Zuko.

Toph reckoned that was a bad sign.

The three of them stepped onto the boat, and it started to move. Toph noticed straight away that it was metal, not wood like a Water Tribe boat should be. No matter. She could see better on metal, but it still struck her as strange.

"It's a Fire Nation vessel," Hakoda, Daddy Muscles, told her when she asked. "We captured it a few days ago."

"I helped," Sokka said proudly. "We were all _swish_ and _slash_ and _sneak attack._ We took over the boat and put all the firebenders in one of the life-rafts.Now we can move about freely. The Fire Nation won't bother us if they think that we're Fire Nation too. _"_

"Won't the lifeboat full of the guys put a stop to that when they eventually get found?" Toph asked.

"Actually, yeah. Dad, I think we should change the ship registration on the prow. It'll help our disguise."

"Don't worry, Sokka," Daddy Muscle's taller friend, Bato, said. "We already go that covered. Those firebenders won't be able to cause us any more trouble."

"You changed it already?" Sokka asked.

"Yes."

Well, Bato was _obviously lying._

If Toph had to guess, she thought he was lying because those warriors had probably taken a much simpler approach to the problem of survivors, but Bato didn't want upset Sokka by saying as much. He didn't want Sokka to think he'd had a role in all those deaths.

It was his way of being kind.

-0-

The doctor had been useless. She had wanted to know what was _wrong_ with her brother...aside from his annoying personality, general uselessness, and all the other obvious things.

It was a simple question to ask a doctor.

Azula had been quite insistent on answers. She had been told her insistent face could be intimidating. Eventually the man had cried like a baby. "I have never doctored a firebender," he'd confessed. "I think this is something related to his bending, given how diminished his chi is. Maybe some sun would help?"

The man was clearly guessing.

 _Incompetence!_

She'd had the useless doctor locked up for that. He shouldn't be allowed to continue to practise medicine if he didn't know what on earth he was doing.

Azula had Zuko moved to one of the royal guest rooms. It was sunlit, warm and opulently furnished. Perhaps it was the sunlight, or perhaps just being in better furnished quarters cured whatever ailed her brother. She received word that he had awoken in the late afternoon of the second day.

She left him waiting. She didn't rush. She didn't want to give the wrong impression. She was very busy and important after all. She didn't want him thinking she _cared._ And she wanted him to know that, opulent room aside, he was still her prisoner.

The Dai Li were guarding him. They had a very precise malevolent aura of intimidation that was useful. She'd talk to Zuko after dinner, get him onside. It should be easy. Zuko had always been easy to manipulate. She was sure an afternoon being babysat by the Dai Li would put her brother in a more _amenable_ mood.

When she had found Zuko all those months ago and realised that she was one of the only people who knew he was alive, a plan for him started to formulate. It was _worth something,_ that knowledge. Azula finally knew how she was going to spend it now.

The idiotic way he had reacted to his little friend being captured (foolish, reckless, led by his emotions) had gladdened Azula's heart. He was still the same old Zuko, and she could still control him, still manoeuvre him with ease. Knowing that made the rest of her plan possible.

She had a strategy now for dealing with their father. Azula always saw all the angles, covered her bases, protected her flanks. She had back-up plans for her back-up plans. Zuko could be useful to her in a variety of ways, but most predominately he would serve as a human shield.

Father hadn't _mourned_ when they received word of her brother's "death" back in the autumn. Azula knew her father didn't "feel" things the way normal people did – and she tried to be as like him as possible. Ozai hadn't been saddened, so Azula had told herself she wasn't sad either until it became true. Some nobles had muttered about disrespecting the dead, and used words like "disgraceful" and "inhuman" about them (but only very quietly, when they thought no one was listening).

Ozai hadn't been sad, but he had become more erratic. He heard the gossip going around noble circles. An heir and a spare – that was what every strong ruler needed. Ozai was now one child short.

Azula was now the Crown Princess simply because she had outlived her brother and her beautiful, wonderful cousin. Everyone had looked to her as the sole surviving heir of the royal line. She was clever, subtle and brilliant. It became increasingly more difficult to be subtle and engage in subterfuge when everyone was watching her all the time. They were just looking for a fault. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

Then there was muttering that she was more talented than her father, because she had mastered lightning at the age of fourteen, a long time before Ozai had even made a static spark. That was the _wrong sort_ of praise. It would make her father angry if he heard. Azula focussed her energies on being perfect for him – but not _too_ perfect, not a threat. Father was seeing threats everywhere lately. She was not entirely sure what would happen if her father caught wind of the new mutterings.

She been strangely relieved when he sent her away to find Uncle.

Azula had always been perfect, even she could admit to herself that the balancing act, the constant and unrelenting pressure had been... _undesirable._

She could bring Zuko home and give everyone a big distraction to focus on instead. He was good at making an embarrassing spectacle of himself and Azula would look even better by comparison. If Zuko was around, there would be someone to take the heat off her. Things could go back to the way they were _before._

Everything had been _easier_ when Zuko was alive.

He had been a like a lightning rod for their father's anger. Any little disappointment Ozai suffered would be taken out on her brother. Even when he had been banished but still alive, Azula could still blame him for things. _(That vase? Zuko broke it when we were children. He never told you because you know how cowardly he is.)_

Zuko had been born to be what their father referred to as a _suitable target._ A fall guy. Father would never admit it, but he had used countless _suitable targets_ over the years. People to absorb the blame and then be discarded. Azula knew the benefit in lining up someone to take the blame. Zuko was ideal for this.

There was also the pesky issue of the Avatar's body.

The waterbender had taken it with her. Azula never counted her pig-chickens before they hatched. A direct hit to the back with one of her lightning bolts would always be fatal, but without a body, she couldn't prove she had really accomplished it – killing the avatar and the world's last hope for peace.

Azula didn't understand much about the Avatar cycle. She had always thought it beneath her to learn about other elements and old spirit tales. She knew a story though (one of mother's favourites), about how Avatar Yangchen had been struck by lightning when she was unifying the Islands, and she had survived through "inner strength". She was an airbending Avatar, just like the boy.

 _Just a story,_ Azula told herself. She knew surviving a direct hit lightning shouldn't be possible, but doubt niggled. Every tale had a kernel of truth.

Azula didn't like not knowing things.

So she told Firelord Ozai that Zuko had done it – reasoning that this killed two puffingulls with one fireblast. Sure, it wasn't technically capturing the Avatar, but it would be enough to lift the banishment. She could bring home her _suitable target_ , and if it turned out the Avatar had survived, she could blame Zuko for everything.

If the Avatar was actually dead, then she could make use of Zuko in the interim. She'd always been able to push his buttons and pull his strings. He'd make a good human shield against their father's moods. When the time came, she could cut him loose.

She only needed to give him enough rope, and he would do the hard bit for her.

-0-

Hakoda held children close. Their new friend Toph also invited herself into the hug. He could see she also needed a little reassurance, and he opened his arms wider to include her. The kids had narrowly escaped Ba Sing Se with their lives. All three children seemed very shaken after what had happened to their friend.

Hakoda helped Katara settle Aang into their most comfortable room. It had obviously been reserved for the captain. The boy seemed so small in the large bed. He was whimpering softly, but Katara placed her healing water over the hole in his back and tried to heal his pain. This seemed to calm him. The other two crowded around her, holding their breath. Hakoda watched her waterbending in fascination.

When Aang was more stable and resting comfortably, Hakoda led his children up to the mess hall for something to eat. They looked half-starved and exhausted. Amaruk tried lighting a fire to heat up some soup, without much success. The Fire Nation kitchen was a series of inexplicable puzzles and gadgets. Sokka went into the kitchen and fiddled with a few buttons and knobs. A flame burst into life underneath the pot of soup.

"How did you know how to do that?" Hakoda asked.

Both of his children had learned so much while he had been away.

"I know my way around a Fire Nation ship," Sokka said enigmatically.

He'd said something similar when they'd first captured the ship the other day. Sokka said he could show Hakoda how everything worked. Hakoda had _questions,_ but before he could ask them the Avatar had turned up, frantically looking for Sokka.

"How do you know your way around a Fire Nation ship?" Hakoda asked as he watched Sokka potter around the kitchen. As far as he could recall, Sokka had always obeyed his instruction to never go onto the wreck near their village.

"Well, I was taken prisoner on a Fire Nation ship," Sokka said hesitantly.

" _What?"_

"But it's okay now, Dad. I escaped….and now I can show you how all these gadgets work."

Hakoda wanted to argue that being taken prisoner was very much _not "_ okay now", but Sokka handed him two bowls and started carrying two out to his sister and friend. The girls were sitting close together. Toph stared sightlessly ahead, trying to look as tough and resolute as a tiny twelve year old could. Katara was running her fingers along a rather fine-looking knife scabbard, but she tucked this away when she saw Hakoda.

Sokka placed the bowls in front of the girls and sat down across from them, tucking into his own meal with gusto. Toph followed, slurping her soup loudly. Katara turned her face away.

"Come on, Katara," Hakoda said, pushing her bowl closer. "You've got to eat something."

"No. We've got to go back to Ba Sing Se."

"Katara, you know we can't," Sokka said sadly, like he'd had this conversation with her a few times already.

"We can't just leave him, Sokka! We have to go back for Zuko!"

Well, that was a surprise!

"You want us to go back to Ba Sing Se for Zuko of the Fire Nation?" Hakoda asked his daughter, eyes wide.

"Wait – isn't that the prince who got eaten by the Ocean Spirit up north?" Amaruk asked curiously. He'd gotten his own bowl and sat down at their table with a few of the other men who were feeling a little hungry.

"No, fool." Nanouk slapped him upside the head. "That's the one Fire Nation think the Northern Water Tribe ate near Pohuai Stronghold."

"The Northern Water Tribe have eaten two people?"

"Nah, just the one. Maybe they saved some leftovers for the Ocean Spirit?"

"I reckon it was probably a platypus bear that actually ate him," Yura offered.

"He wasn't eaten!" Katara yelled, her soup splashing wildly, surprising the warriors and cutting though their squabbling.

"Nobody has eaten Zuko," Sokka backed her up. "He has not become anybody's roast dinner, or baked good, or delectable snack."

"You called Zuko delectable," Toph muttered. "I'm going to tell him."

"Toph, we have to get him back first before you can make your comments," Sokka scolded.

"No, we don't," Hakoda interrupted, trying to inject some sanity into this conversation. "We're not risking our lives for a firebender."

"What?" Katara sounded irate.

"Kids, Ba Sing Se has fallen. It is crawling with the Fire Nation army. It is a long way from the sea and we only have a small force. Even with Aang's remarkable bison, it wouldn't be possible to get in and out of Ba Sing Se safely."

"Dad! We can't just—"

"It's too dangerous, Katara," Hakoda said sternly. "Our fleet can't fight the Fire Nation Army on land, especially not cornered in Ba Sing Se. It would be a suicide mission." He pushed her bowl towards her with a gentle nudge. "Have some soup. You look exhausted."

"I'm not hungry!" She stood up and stomped away.

-0-

Zuko woke up in a ridiculously lavish Earth Kingdom room with no recollection of how he had got there. He felt extremely disorientated. The bed was luxurious, but there was no feeling of ice on his neck. No Katara smiling at him and welcoming him back to the waking world.

 _Katara!_

He lurched forward with a start. That made him woozy. Zuko tried to piece together what had happened, but his memory felt fragmented. Aang had been hurt. Katara had escaped the cavern with Aang. Then Zuko and his uncle had gone down another tunnel. The world had gotten cold and blurry...then dark. He'd woken up here.

 _Uncle!_

Where was Uncle? Zuko had to find Uncle. He moved to get up.

The first thing he noticed was the fact that he was wearing brand new Fire Nation pyjamas. Black silk.

 _Nice._

Wait!

What the fuck?

These pyjamas weren't his!

Had somebody undressed him out of his Earth Kingdom clothes and dressed him in these? What had happened to his stuff? Why would somebody bother re-dressing him? Had this person seen him naked? These unsettling thoughts were made even more unsettling by the presence of the Dai Li. Four stone-faced Dai Li agents stood close to his bed and glared coldly at him.

Oh.

That was really bad.

But, oddly, it was also much better than Zuko had expected. He'd thought his choices as the Dai Li's prisoner would be nasty torture, brainwashing, and the constant damp – like under Lake Lagoai. A fancy room with fancy pyjamas and the sunlight streaming in across his face was nicer hospitality than he would have thought the Dai Li provided. They were trying to soften him up for something. He just had to figure out what.

 _Azula!_

They were working for Azula.

But why would Azula want him comfortable?

She never wanted him comfortable.

She made him wait. That was her way of making him uncomfortable. Zuko was feeling pretty terrible and extremely worried for his friends and desperate to know what had happened to his uncle. He was endlessly confused by this whole situation. There was a lot to be confused by between someone undressing him and the Dai Li staring at him and not speaking, except to make it clear that he wasn't allowed to leave. Also, waking up in a fancy room instead of a prison cell, and the inescapable fact that his fire felt so much smaller…again. Even though he was in a comfortable and warm room, he felt cold all the way to his bones.

The Dai Li didn't answer any of his questions. They were being ridiculously creepy. When Zuko had to use the bathroom, one had escorted him in and had _actually watched!_ He hadn't averted his gaze in the slightest. Didn't the Dai Li know that was against the rules!

 _Don't watch, arsehole!_

It was almost a relief to see Azula – that's how creepy the Dai Li were.

"Good evening, brother. Would you like some tea?"

A flurry of servants trailed behind her into the room. They set up a little tea table near the bed. She was resplendent, wearing the Earth Queen's official robes. Zuko wrinkled his nose in distaste. Wearing the Earth Kingdom royalty affectations?

That was tacky.

Then again, she took after their dad. He was the Fire Lord of tacky – re-naming ancient cities after himself levels of tacky.

Azula sat across from him. A servant offered him a cup. Zuko half wanted to refuse out of spite, but he was so, so thirsty. The Dai Li hadn't given him anything to drink since he'd woken up. Still, he waited until her cup had been poured and she took a sip. He raised his eyebrow. _Not poisoned then?_

Poison wasn't really his sister's style anyway.

"It's good to see you looking much better, brother," Azula remarked conversationally, no hint of a threat, and no hint of her but-face. (The but-face was the face she made when she said something nice and it was immediately followed by a great big _but._ Like, "Oh, Zuko, you're pretty good with swords, _but_ it is such a shame that your bending is still woeful and pathetic.)

"It is?" Zuko asked, eyebrow raised, completely flummoxed at her casual tone.

What was this? Where were the threats?

They didn't do pleasant conversation.

"Yes. Now that you are more alert, I have something to discuss with you."

She handed him two scrolls. Zuko opened the first one and gasped in shock. It was from his father. It offered a full pardon. His banishment would be lifted on the condition that he agreed to sign and support the enclosed statement. He opened the second scroll. It stated that Zuko, as one of the only other survivors from the Siege of the North, would testify that General Iroh, the Dragon of the West, had been instrumental in the catastrophic failure that occurred there. Zuko narrowed his eyes and handed both scrolls back to Azula.

"No, thank you," he said, borrowing her crisp, clipped tone.

"Excuse me? Did you read these properly?"

"I won't betray Uncle like that."

"This is a way you can _save_ Uncle. Read closely. It says that if you agree, he'll get life imprisonment in the round tower. No execution."

"Dad wants to shame him. I won't do that. Dad can't kill him. It would make a martyr of him."

Azula looked at him closely. It was unsettling. It was like she was sizing him up. He looked away from her probing gaze.

"Where's Uncle now?" he asked. "I'd prefer to be locked up with him, if it is all the same to you."

"I regret to inform you that Uncle was already transported back to the Fire Nation. The ship left yesterday morning," she said, but she didn't seem that regretful. "And just so you know, Dad doesn't care about 'making a martyr of him' _._ Dad wants Uncle _dead!_ But I talked him into this. This is neater and nicer. It looks better this way. Uncle will live, and you get to come home."

She said this proudly, like she wanted Zuko to give her a medal and a parade. He suddenly thought of Smellerbee and her air trophies. _Here's your prize, sister._ He snorted in amusement.

"Don't snort like that! I can't help Uncle any more, but I can help you."

"No, thank you. I don't want your help," Zuko said flatly, resigned to his fate and too tired to play whatever new mind game this was. She should just throw him in the round tower with his uncle and be done with it. "I committed just as much treason as Uncle. I should be with him."

Azula struck like a cat, lurching forward with grace and speed. She slapped him hard enough that his head spun, then she covered his mouth with her hand so forcefully that it made his teeth clack together. His vision swam. The sudden violence of it surprised him, but he wasn't sure why. He just had to get used to it again.

"Stop that right now. Never say that again." She squeezed his face so her ridiculously sharp nails dug into his cheek. "You have never had a treasonous thought in your head. Do you understand me?"

He nodded, taken aback by the intensity in her gaze.

She removed her hand and sat back calmly. "No one knows about that nonsense aside from you and me. I won't tell anyone what you said about Father. I've had a goldsmith work out the kinks in the crown. No one will ever need to know." She gave a dismissive pass of her hand, like they were making pleasant conversation again. "You don't have to worry about anyone accusing you of treason. You can come home."

"I don't understand. You could have me executed, _like that._ "He clicked his fingers. "Why are you offering this to me?"

"Why are you being so difficult? I'm offering you everything you've ever wanted! You can return home as a war hero. You can assume your place in line for the throne. You will have your honour back. Uncle will be allowed to live..." She ticked items off on her fingers as she went.

Zuko never trusted Azula as far as he could throw her, but she wasn't wrong. He would be getting a lot of the things he wanted (not everything – never everything). Mostly he just wanted Uncle to be safe. He could feel his uncle, in the back of his head, urging him along.

 _Think logically, Zuko. This is like Pai Sho. You make a move, then she makes a move. Don't react – think first._

There was no strategic benefit to them both being locked up in the round tower. No, it was better if Zuko could stay on the outside and keep Uncle alive. There was always the chance that he could bust Uncle out of prison and they could both be free.

"Father even thinks you've killed the Avatar. He's proud of you," Azula concluded, like she thought this was the grand prize Zuko had always wanted.

His heart sank and his face darkened.

He knew what Azula was capable of, but it had still shocked him to see her shoot lightning at Aang. She would have killed Aang and thought nothing of it. She would have murdered a twelve-year-old child if it wasn't for him.

Zuko didn't want the credit for such an abominable act.

"You're the one who shot Aang. Not me."

"What? Is that what you're mad about? Because that child was your _friend?_ " Azula laughed dismissively, mockingly. "He was _the enemy,_ Zuko! That's what happens in war. _People die._ Stop making that judgemental bitchface. I'm giving you all the credit so your banishment can be lifted. You should be thanking me."

He turned away from her. It seemed to make her angry.

"Stop being such a petulant child. Let me put it this way: on the one hand – oh look, there's everything," Azula held out her hands like they were scales. She lifted the "everything" hand up high. "And on the other hand – look, there's _nothing._ " She dropped this hand really low. "Look at this hand, Zuko. There's _nothing."_

"So everyone thinks the Avatar is dead and I killed him," Zuko said slowly, looking down pensively.

Realistically, it wasn't a bad thing. He was trying to be logical instead of just reacting to his sister's goading and teasing. He knew Aang had survived. Aang had been alive when he handed him to Katara, and Zuko had every faith in her. She would have found a way to save Aang. Zuko didn't believe in much (not anymore), but he believed in her.

Everyone thinking Aang was dead would be a great strategic advantage to Aang and his friends. They could move much more freely if the Fire Nation wasn't hunting the Avatar – and there'd be no reason to hunt a dead Avatar. Zuko could still help them, even if he was a prisoner of the Fire Nation. He could tell everybody Azula's story, make sure there was no shadow of a doubt. Then no one would go hunting the Avatar again. This would be doing exactly what Azula wanted. That had was always bad in Zuko's experience, but at least Katara, Sokka, Toph, and Aang would all be safer.

He didn't realise how long he had been quiet, but it infuriated Azula. She was out of patience with him. She stood up, her friendly veneer vanished. She spoke to him in her abrupt _this-is-how-it's-going-to-_ be voice.

"They didn't come back for you, you know. Your so-called _friends_ left you here to rot. They don't care about you. They were probably glad to be rid of you. They aren't coming back for you …"

It's a good thing, Zuko told himself. They shouldn't come back to the city. It wasn't safe for them.

"The only reason you're still alive is _because of me_ , but if you don't agree, your banishment will stay in place and you can't come home. You'll have to stay here, branded as a traitor, abandoned and alone in a city that has just been acquired by our army. You'll be left here to the mercy of the Dai Li and the General Hanzo."

Zuko stared back at her, shocked. This was a new threat. She normally always threatened to murder him herself.

"They won't kill you. I've heard about what the Dai Li can do to people to make them _more useful._ I'm sure they'll find a _use_ for you."

A shudder of revulsion and fear washed through his body.

 _No! Anything but that!_

She had won. They both knew it. Still, there was something that had never made sense to him. Something that still bothered him about this whole thing.

"Before I sign this, I want the truth."

"What do you want the truth about?" Azula sighed. This was her patient _listen-with-teacher_ voice.

"Why didn't you tell Dad about me being alive when you first found me?"

She seemed a little taken aback by his question. She fiddled with her cup for a few seconds, then took a long sip. Zuko knew that trick. It bought a few seconds of thinking time.

"When I found you, I wanted to find a way to bring you home. I didn't tell Father until I figured out how to do it."

He snorted in disbelief. "Since fucking _when_ do you want me around?"

There was no way that was the real reason. He wasn't falling for that. He wasn't that stupid.

"Zuko, don't swear. It's undignified," she said primly in a way that reminded him eerily of their mother. "Our father can be an…an _unpredictable_ man. It has been difficult for me on my own with him." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "You know how he is."

She seemed oddly hesitant. She took another long sip, then looked out the window, not meeting his eyes. Azula never seemed hesitant when they were kids. It was jarring to see her like this. It made concern clench in his gut to see his unflappable little sister seem unsure.

She'd been on her own with Ozai for three years. Zuko wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Their father had always been proud of Azula, but that wasn't the same as love. Zuko knew that now. It would have been different for her, he told himself. Perhaps their dad would have just drilled her on training and strategy, the way he used to, and he wouldn't have done anything else to her.

Zuko wanted to think that, but Azula was sitting in front of him, seeming uncertain. She'd never say it outright, but she wanted him to come home so she wouldn't be alone with Ozai anymore.

"You're my big brother. Our mother would have wanted us to be there for each other. Come home with me."

She seemed genuine, or at least as genuine as it was possible for a pathological liar to be.

"Okay."

He took the pen she offered and signed both documents.

-0-

He was too easy, Azula chortled to herself as she strode towards the room with the messenger hawks. It had taken her a couple of tries to find the right approach, the right button to push, She'd mentioned mother, and he'd been putty in her hands. In the end, Zuko had always been obvious.

He'd always wanted to be part of a big happy family. She could appeal to that, act like she needed him. He liked to be needed. He liked to be useful. He liked to protect people. The idiot probably still thought he needed to take care of her. Improbable, ridiculous. So soft. So Zuko.

She couldn't believe she'd doubted it for a second. For a few brief moments, he'd seemed to show signs of shrewd thinking, but thankfully she had only been imagining it.

She attached the scrolls to a messenger hawk to send back to her father. All her loose ends were tied off now. They'd leave for home on the next tide.

It was a long way back to the Fire Nation.

-0-

Lovely readers,

This concludes book 2. I hope you've enjoyed the ride. I've certainly enjoyed writing it. Thanks everyone for all your kind words and support through writing this.

Enormous and gigantic and incredible thanks to the fabulous Boogum, who is the most amazing beta I could ask for. She's a legend!

I'm working on Book 3, but it's a tricky one to get the tone right (as a lot of serious drama just went down, but I always try and keep it light-hearted where possible). I also have some real-life news. I'm pregnant with my first child, which is very exciting. Between getting stuff ready for a tiny human and finishing up my course, I won't have as much writing time for the next little while, but I'll work on WP whenever I get the chance.

I have some rambly thoughts about this chapter and Azula's motivations.

Book 1 was all about water and change and how the Gaang and Zuko changed as a result of their much earlier interaction. Book 2's element was Earth. Earth normally represents stability, however book 2 was the most turbulent and drama filled out of all three seasons IMO. (Book 3 has so many great moments, but so much inconsistency and regrettable writing choices and filler episodes. I think Book 2 was actually one of the most tightly written and intricate plots I've seen.) Stability was never going to come from their situation, but from each other. The Gaang have created a steadfast support for each other because I love the found family trope so much.

This chapter focused on Azula and her motivations. Azula is a tricky character because she lies so much, even to herself. She has many justifications for wanting Zuko to come back home. In my head-canon, the heart of it was that she missed him – but being Azula, she's not just about to come out and say that.

I think Azula genuine cared for Zuko and Ty Lee and Mai. She shows it more towards Zuko and Ty Lee because both she and Mai aren't affectionate personality-wise. She tries to keep all three of them close to her even though their mission is finished and the other two girls could have gone back to their normal lives. Because she never learned how to build healthy relationships she does everything she can to control the three of them. Her rapid descent after all three of them leave her shows how crucial control over them was to her self-identity.

Azula thinks control and fear function the same way as love. Control and fear can be used as a substitute for love. It's why she over-reacts when Zuko tiredly talks about committing treason and accepts what he assumes will be his fate. That is not the outcome Azula wanted or expected, so she lashes out violently. But there is a kernel of concern for him at the bottom of it all. Zuko can't go back to the Fire Nation saying things like that, so Azula will make him do things her way. She would also feel much more possessive of him, knowing that some other group of kids wanted to take 'her' brother away, and so she feels a much stronger impulse to control him.

Thinking about it logically, the reason she stated in canon for wanting Zuko home, to use him as a human shield against their dad, doesn't have to change that much in this story even despite Zuko's super-mega-treason habit. If anything, Zuko's habit of making a spectacle of himself could easily play into her hands. Azula is a shrewd thinker and sees the bigger picture. When she's on top of her game, she always had back-up plans and covered all her angles. She feels confident that she killed Aang, but not confident in declaring so... just in case.

I also think she was genuinely loyal to the Fire Nation cause beyond her own self-glorification. Despite her nature, most of Azula's plans are actually bloodless, or require very little bloodshed (until her breakdown). She doesn't waste resources and opportunities and people wily-nily. She wouldn't see the sense in wasting resources looking for the Avatar if she knows he's dead, just to cover her own butt. So she needs a fall-guy, just in case. Zuko is also the perfect lightning rod for their father's erratic behaviour and intensity. Azula, even as the favourite, wouldn't have enjoyed being an only child as much as she thought she would. So bringing Zuko home still serves the same original two functions as it did in canon.

This is the end of book 2. I hope you all enjoyed it and thank you all for reading this crazy adventure. Book three will pick up in the same place as canon: the awakening!


End file.
